if all our labors will be reversed,
if the earth will deteriorate
and be conquered by the sun,
if all i have ever worked to be,
will amount to nothing,
then would it matter?

would it matter that my impulse
will lead me to you?
would it matter if i bought
that plane ticket?
would it matter that i prioritize you
over all?

is it them holding me back,
or is it the fear of rejection
i may face when i tell you?

—

"you're whipped for him man," she mocked playfully while poking my arm.

i snickered, "so what? god gave me one life so why think twice?"

that silenced her but painted a smug smile on her face. she knew what i knew; that i had utterly and ruefully fallen for someone i was most likely never to be able to love despite the affection i was willing to display and the biased alignment of the stars.