Back to Square One by EloniSherai. 

Grammar/Syntax/Punctuation: 2/5

There are already a few grammatical errors in the beginning of the prologue. 

That should read four years and a half.

Remove the full stop after naive and place the comma on the inside of the quotation mark.

The phrase "Unlike this Afternoon" is a bit strange. If the person said "this afternoon", that would mean its night or in the early morning, yes?

There were also many errors in your synopsis, but I'll leave that out for now. I skipped the rest of your prologue and jumped right to chapter 1. 

This is your first sentence:

For one, "dwelled" doesn't quite fit in with this sentence. "Inhabited by" would be more fitting, or anything close to. 

You have, "It's been three year since I cam this way but nothing seems to change."

There are 2 errors here:

'Year' should read 'years' and seems to change should be "but nothing seems to have changed," considering you used past tense at the beginning of the chapter.

- At the comma between "bolero" and "my mom" there should be a full stop. 
- Bolero should be capitalised.
- For the beginning of the first sentence, you could put a comma behind 'elder', but I think the entire "bossy might I add," clause is unnecessary. 

The phrasing in this is still very awkward. "Common" should be "come on", "it" should be "it's" and "no of fence" should read "no offence."

Lastly, I just wanted to address your dialogue and punctuation:

The correct sentence would be: "Anyway, after dinner, I was finally alone in my room, cuddled between layers of blankets. "Finally," I sighed blissfully.

Overall there are many errors in the beginning of your first chapter alone. Only practising the language more will help to remedy this, but please still pay attention to your grammar as best as you can. For some readers, it is very crucial. 

Story Concept: 2.5/5

I don't understand much of what the story concept should be, but so far it seems slow and very generic to me. It also seems a bit aimless, and while family themed, I wish there was more narration about interaction with the family members or some backstories or memorable things that happened in the past that could clue us in on the personality of a few of the other members. I think this story needs some work.

Cover: 3/5

The cover isn't bad. It has a bit too many filters or a blur effect? I wish the title stood out more, but I can't find much fault with it. My only other complaint is that it would have been cool if the cover showed anything of the title, with some square or a couple walking in circles or anything symbolic, instead of a typical cover with a girl standing and the title below her.

Character Originality: 2.5/5

The characters are bland, or at least the few I've seen so far.

Again, the dialogue tags here are incorrect. To recap:

Here is an example of a classic speech. The dialogue tag of your character's speech contains the action word or verb and the pronoun or noun doing the action. Occasionally it may contain an adverb or additional dependent clause. 

They aren't really bad, but they aren't that amazing either. My views on this topic are purely neutral, so I gave it an exact middle figure. 

Writing Style: 2/5

I think your writing style needs a lot of work. Once you've gotten over the hurdle of grammar, since I'm sure English isn't your first language (please correct me if I'm wrong) then you'll have time to sort out your punctuation and develop your own writing style.

First mastering the language is required. Good luck! :)

Pacing/Organisation: 3/5

I can't really find any fault with the pacing. It was very slow throughout, but I won't mark hardly. I think it sort of fit well with how I was reading it? I don't know, the whole idea of going to a scenic village made me think it was supposed to be going slow paced and at ease. I marked accordingly. 

Was it enjoyable? 2/5 

The grammar was the main thing that turned me off. But this is probably something that couldn't be helped. Besides that, the story so far seems really generic and ordinary. Nothing sets it apart, and nothing makes me want to absolutely love it. 

Either way, keep at it and keep practising! Good luck for your future writing, and feel free to request another review when you think you've improved. Thanks for sharing your work Eloni :)

Total score: 17/35
Overall rating: 4.9

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A Date with Danger by