Twisted by 1MisunderstoodGirl. 

OVERVIEW

IN SHORT: Boring. Mundane. Humdrum. Spare me, please. Has potential but at the moment I can't read it.

MORE DETAILED: 

This was a part of an article on bad ways to start your novel, I'll leave a link to said article in the comments:

The way the Prologue started out was fine—albeit in need of some work—but when you threw that backstory in there, I wasn't any more favourable towards the novel.

I only read the first 2 chapters, but overall the novel has great potential as it introduced new concepts and story ideas, but again, execution plays a MAJOR role. 

I expound below.

FULL REVIEW

I review with the following criteria.

COVER:

STORY CONCEPT:

GRAMMAR:

CHARACTERS AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

WRITING STYLE:

PACING/ORGANISATION:

IF IT WAS ENJOYABLE!

for a final score out of 35.

After I multiply it by a 100 and give it an overall rating.

COVER: 3.75/5

The cover has little colour and seems pretty crowded with filters and vectors.

I like the use of red, as the whole blood and vampire theme comes in, but overall the cover gets a 3.75.

STORY CONCEPT: 4/5

I like the concept. 

It's very promising. 

I enjoyed the little bits of world-building you provided such as hybrids eyes' changing to different colours depending on their mood (though I've seen this before) but throughout the whole novel everything seemed awkward and robotic and the sentences had little flow. 

I get to that further down.

GRAMMAR: 2.75/5

I'm not a Grammar Nazi but even I had to be commenting multiple times at grammatical errors and sentence construction and word choice. 

Please edit your novel.

CHARACTERS AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: 1.5/5

The characters seemed more flat, boring and 2-dimensional than anything. 

EXCERPT FROM ARTICLE: 

6. The 'Heroine' Who Always Needs Saving

Many of the paranormal fantasies I've read have compelling, determined, intelligent female protagonists that actively pursue their goals or try to get themselves out of trouble. Unfortunately, I've also encountered several heroines who pretty much never do anything to further their own cause, and leave it up to other characters. With these kind[s] of heroines, often their only achievement is that they've managed to woo a supernatural man because every time they get themselves into a dangerous situation they just wait until he swoops in to save them. Heroines don't have to be kick-ass magical knife-wielding warriors, but they have to at least try to use their own intelligence or skill to get what they want... otherwise, they're not a character I'm going to enjoy reading about.

While I haven't extensively read this novel yet, I already have an inkling MC-who-I've-already-forgotten-the-name-of will end up like this. Please take care that she doesn't. 

And her love interest?  He seems 2 dimensional enough. Her sister is already described as the wicked witch of the east but I felt myself wanting to like her. 

The characters were boring. You need to spin them on their heads, make them duynamic, so they're set apart from the rest.

WRITING STYLE: 2/5

I remember saying this. 

The writing style is stiff and robotic and awkward. A way to address this is sentence construction. Stop making every paragraph consist of simple sentences, it sounds like a stiff log of events. 

EG: 

She swung at him hard. She looked around for the knife she wanted to use. She picked it up and lunged at him. He dodged quickly. She cursed and swung again. She sliced his stomach. He died. 

This was an exaggeration of course, but the robotic log of events is there. IEvery sentnec eeginsd with she or he, and every sentence follows the structre of pronoun, verb, predicate. Instead, use different sentence constructions as seen below:

Re-edited eg: 

She swung at him with fierce determination. Looking around for the knife she wanted to use, after locating it frantically she grabbed it and lunged at him quickly. With an expert swiftness, he dodged her attack before she even saw him moving. Cursing under her breath she swung again—harder this time. The knife sliced his stomach and blood wept from the wound. With a final breath, he slumped to the ground. He was dead.

This is, of course, still lacking, but it gets across my point clearly enough. 

Have a nice flow and dynamic to your writing and your sentences. 

If you'd like more examples (cue shameless promotion) view anyone of my novels for examples. 

PACING/ORGANISATION: 2.5/5

The pacing is average. It does need some editing. In the first chapter, when you spoke about the flashback there were instances where there was literally ZERO BUILD UP to her on the brink of tears, her losing control of her hybrid powers and her Mr-lovey-mcsnacklefluff backing away and getting pissed.

My point, show a steady, gradual build up to expressing ideas. Poco-a-poco.

WAS IT ENJOYABLE? 2/5

Nope, I didn't enjoy a single part of it, except when there were little snippets of interesting world building. 

TOTAL SCORE: 18.5

OVERALL RATING: 5.3

UP NEXT (I'm done with catch phrases for now).

Unsilenceable by flowerofpomona.

I'll say it from now Historical Fiction really isn't my forte.