15. Bastian's Song [8.4]

Bastian's Song by AnnQuin07.


OVERVIEW


IN SHORT: Haha, I loved it, and this is a genuine statement. There were few errors, just basic conceptual ideas, but overall it's professional and right up my alley.

MORE DETAILED: 

Bastian's Songs starts off in the Prologue with the retelling of a Greek tale about Selene, the moon goddess, and how she fell in love with the shepherd (sheep boy) Endymion. She watched him while he slept (great going, Selene) and fell in love with him at first sight. 

While this is a very interesting concept, it went even further to portray how she borrowed a merfolk's voice, as she had none for herself, and how she was able to sing her song and gain Endymion's attention. 

I was very much intrigued by this introductory chapter, and it led me in hot pursuit to the first chapter of the novel. 

Now, I can firmly say that this is the type of novel I've been looking to read and hoped to discover on Wattpad. But this is a review, not a laudatory promotion post. 

This is an objective take filled with my opinions and critiques on the novel thus far, and I will (try my best to) ensure that it remains so. 

I expound upon my thoughts below.



FULL REVIEW



I review with the following criteria.

COVER:

STORY CONCEPT:

GRAMMAR:

CHARACTERS AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

WRITING STYLE:

PACING/ORGANISATION:

IF IT WAS ENJOYABLE!

for a final score out of 35.

After I multiply it by a 100 and give it an overall rating.


COVER: 3/5

Honestly, when I first saw this new cover I thought it was some sort of yellow banana man with a creepy smile and blue arms that was dancing. 

And I was like, what? what does this banana have to do with mermen and lunar goddesses?  

In fact, it was as I was writing this review when realised it was actually a mermaid's tail, but can you blame me? I mean, look at it. 

Are you gonna tell me that's not a banana smiling?

He's smiling! He's even got little eyebrows and some nice long lashes.

At least that was my interpretation leading up to this review, but other than that small confusion, if I looked at this cover alone I wouldn't be able to infer anything about mermaids and songs and goddesses and kingdoms. 

In fact, all I'd be able to say is: hey, that looks like a dancing banana. 

Here's what I found on Pinterest for similarly themed, mermaid, kingdom, sea book covers. I hope this could be perhaps treated as a guide. 

Keep in mind that Pinterest is your best friend, so is Canva.com, and you can refer to my Snip Snip Writing Tips, making book covers in Canva chapter for even more tips. 

(seriously, to anyone reading this, go read that.)


STORY CONCEPT: 4.75/5

I like the concept, I like it very much. 

And I would have given it a full 5 except for the voice in the back of my head telling me that this wouldn't be the first similarly themed mermaid story out on Wattpad, as there are already a lot. 

And for that, I took off 0.25 from the full 5. 


GRAMMAR: 4/5

I didn't find any major errors or slip ups in GPS except a tiny part where I had to point out word usage and word choices. 


CHARACTERS AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: 3.5/5

Haha, I like Arsenius. He seems like a sad bad guy, and I love him for it. But other than my irrational love for Arsenius I did find some amount of particular traits attuned to other characters, specifically Militus and The Queen who I've forgotten the name of. 

In fact, while it can be interpreted as harsh, typically we remember things by virtue of associations to already existing concepts imprinted in our minds. 

I made the connection to Militus because his name comes from the military, he is faithful and loves the Queen unconditionally. 

I don't even remember the Queen's name, but what strikes me most about her  was her determination to protect her egg and, the single tear that she dropped while Arsenius was very enthusiastically cutting off water flow from her lungs (gills(?)).

And that says something. 

If that was the main event that I was able to remember from The Queen alone then it tells you, as a reader, and you, AnnaQuin07 as the author, what stood out about this character. 

Overall, the characters still seemed ordinary enough but different from other characters I've read in works leading up to this one at least.


WRITING STYLE: 5/5

I very much enjoyed the writing style. It was mature, had a wide vocabulary and created beautiful imagery. The writing style gets a full five marks. 


PACING/ORGANISATION: 4/5

I didn't have any major problems with the pacing of the story, at least leading up to the novel. 

If anything I can say that the pacing was perfect, but that's never the case, as while minor, there were a few times it would fluctuate. I understand this has to do with you not wanting the chapters to be too wordy? Or am I confusing you with someone else?

Regardless, the pacing/organisation gets a 4/5.


WAS IT ENJOYABLE? Hell yes. 5/5.

THank you so much for sharing your work with me, AnnaQuin07! I really enjoyed the first 3 chapters of Bastian's Song and I plan to stick around and continue reading more when I have the time. 


TOTAL SCORE: 29.25

OVERALL RATING: 8.4


EDIT:

unrelated but I had to pull a Tom Hiddleston.





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