The Day I left People Speechless Multiple Times: Face-Con Edition.

Summary: Jiang Cheng believes Nie Huaisang's nonsense is only momentary. He gets to see one of Nie Mingjue's first times and witness the dramatic shift in the first romance line. After a bewildering experience with immoral activities supposedly unique to Male Leads, he's craving braised mutton.

_____

Because Nie Huaisang took everyone's attention by fainting on the spot so suddenly, Jiang Cheng's moment to shine was stolen. Taking it as an opportunity, while everyone hurried towards the young man lying down on the ground, he wanted to put the hat back on.

But, Nie Mingjue surprisingly didn't even budge, sitting on his chair, the hat still on top of him and the draperies hiding his eyes. Jiang Cheng couldn't know if he was staring at him or his senseless brother. If it was the later, could he possibly run up to him, take the hat fast enough and run back here?

The veil flared up for just a second and there he was, staring right at Jiang Cheng with eyes stern like the mountain that he was. Well, Jiang Cheng seemed to have gotten ahead of himself for a moment there.

Wei Wuxian was the first to turn to Jiang Cheng to have a laugh together, "So this is the infamous Nie Second master? Doesn't look all th-...th-... who?" His voice broke at the end, eyes uncertainty taking Jiang Cheng in from head to toe. Okay, Jiang Cheng gives up. The whole fiasco of hiding his 'sudden beauty' was stupid from the begining.

"Jiang.. Jiang-! Jiang-?" The female cousin was previously hovering over Nie Huaisang's limp body, but now she stared at his face, going through various stages of astonishment in moments. Jiang Cheng habitually glanced at the male cousin, expecting him to repeat after her like always, but the boy betrayed his life long habit and actually silently stared at him with his mouth open. These consecutive actions finally brought everyone's attention to Jiang Cheng. The bald employee fanning Nie Huaisang dropped the file he was using to fan him on his face and Nie Huaisang sat up with a gasp. It only added another pair of eyes that stared at Jiang Cheng with fool's devotion.

Okay, he was pretty, but wasn't this a little extra? Jiang Cheng couldn't help wondering, unaware of the effects his bright and white appearance in contrast to the dark and gloomy background had on any eye. His hair was recently dyed purple, the lighter shade. His eyes were limpid and doll like, sitting perfectly on top of a small but sharp nose and reddish lips naturally glossy and hydrated. It wasn't that he was the most beautiful human to ever exist, but what it was in the end, nobody could explain in words. For that moment, it indeed felt as though he was the most beautiful person they'd ever seen. More 'captivating' than any certain type of 'pretty'.

Nie Huaisang sprung up on his two feet and came towards him, skirting around Wei Wuxian who was still stuck in the moment. But before he could open his mouth to spout any pick up line, the familiar deep voice reverberated in the stiff air, "I suppose you'll take your hat back, Mr-..." Jiang Cheng instantly took the offered branch and swiftly avoided Nie Huaisang for a less scary version of Nie.

Jiang Cheng believed if he wasn't embarrassed, no one could embarrass him. If he acted like nothing was wrong, nothing was wrong. Like he has always been this heaven defying gorgeous and didn't just turn his relatives and a bunch of strangers into stone statues, he paraded to the seated man, picking up the hat like he was picking up cabbage and put it back on his head. Finally people around him came back to their senses, at least as much as they could.

"I'm sorry for the spec-..spectacle I've caused." Jiang Cheng stammered, gesturing towards his hat, "I hope Mr Nie is not offended." Even though Nie Mingjue didn't reply, his unnerving gaze staring at his soul through the eyes as if the draperies did not exist, his younger brother was more than happy to, "No no. Pardon me for my insolence instead. I called you fake and whatnots. Hey, someone, bring a chair." Nie Huaisang came right upto his side and leaned into him, sweetly asking for forgiveness from the offended 'Feng Sui' master, looking passionate and diligent like a little follower. The taller employee, who was giving him troubled look just moments ago, trotted over with a chair from god knows where.

"N-no no. I'm alright. I'm not-" Nie Huaisang's close proximity was not welcome, obviously, and Jiang Cheng calmly walked away to Wei Wuxian's side. He could only give Wei Wuxian the look, taking the hat off in the way, conveying his want for help in explaining. Since Wei Wuxian had gotten them in this, he should be the one to get them out too. But Wei Wuxian kept looking at him in silence, his expression unrecognisable.

Nie Huaisang followed after him, now trying to get in between him and Wei Wuxian, "I understand. Forgiveness shall be hard to gain. But of course, anything for the most beautiful man in this world. What might be the name of this man I owe thousands apologies, then?"

Eh! Jiang Cheng cringed visibly, avoiding him again, this time blatantly, as he went to his brother's other side. Wei Wuxian seemed to have come back to himself from whatever that was occupying his head. He took the hat from Jiang Cheng's arms and put it back on his head, straightening the veil while talking to Nie Huaisang, "Please don't take my joke seriously Mr Nie. I know you recognise me."

Of course he did. But the one he did not recognise was the man standing behind Wei Wuxian. It was his identity he was interested in. Jiang Cheng on the other hand furrowed his eyebrows, confused. It was obviously stated in the book that it was a case of love at first sight, so why would Nie Huaisang recognise Wei Wuxian upon meeting for the first time?

"Yes, Wei Wuxian. It's pleasant finally meeting you. I've seen you on television multiple times, what was it the last time, ...a seminar against reconstruction of the historical places. I've heard a lot about you actually." Nie Huaisang spoke text book polite words, going to the point fast once he saw how close the man was to the other, "I did not know you were also interested in spiritual aspects. So you became a monk now?"

"Unfortunately not. We got lost in the forest and found you people while navigating. There's no Feng Sui master or monk among us."

Nie Huaisang was obviously not interested in any of this, he nodded offhandedly and asked, "Oh. So this beautiful man would be..."

"Mr Nie seems to be quite a straightforward man. It's not really common in our society to compliment someone so brazenly once you realise they're uncomfortable with your attention." Wei Wuxian had a cutting edge to his tone, eyes smiling yet not. After all Nie Huaisang did a great job ruining his own reputation.

"Huh, Mr Wei, you might even actually try your luck in being a master. You have telepathic powers to know how another person's feeling without them saying a word."

"Well, while I'm grateful for the compliment, it's pretty obvious if you have even one good eye, so..."

Jiang Cheng bit onto his lip, brain storming hundred miles a moment, trying to figure out how much he has changed the trajectory of these two smiling monsters' romance line. It wasn't his plan, to get one of the love interest's attention and definitely wasn't his plan for it to be this man. Of course, he did not believe this could cause a long-term intrusion, he wasn't a narcissist. Soon the love interest's love for the protagonist will win over whatever this nonsense was. But the ways this little mishap in the begining could render him an unfortunate canon fodder made him tremble in his shoes. He did not dare underestimate the power of logic-making of the main characters in a poorly written novel.

"Okay, that's enough." Came back the authoritative voice and these two finally stopped exchanging sharp comebacks. Jiang Cheng realised much to his shock, the grim voice had started to sound less and less like an angry father and more like a saviour to him. Things time changes!

"Nie Huaisang." The named man left whatever argument he was rousing and obediently trotted to his brother, standing beside him like a good child, eyes shining and staring continuously at Jiang Cheng.

"Mr Nie, I apologise for joking just now. I'm Wei Wuxian, from the Jiang family. I, my siblings and my cousins, we were going somewhere when our vehicles stopped working midway. We're currently stranded on this village nearby, lacking any way to contact our families or call for help. We only stumbled upon you coincidentally." Wei Wuxian spoke to Nie Mingjue like he was from their father's generation despite the meager age gap. Nie family and Jiang family were old allies, dating back a dozen decades. After the Nie patriarch's tragic death in a plane crash, Nie Mingjue took over the Nie family at a particularly young age and despite people's lack of belief, ruled the business world triumphantly since. Used to being introduced to Nie Mingjue by their fathers in banquets, kids their generation in the circle unofficially became accustomed to giving him the respect of an elder.

Nie Mingjue stood up, finally, but still didn't speak. He gave the balding man a look and extended his hand in a domineering fashion. Jiang Cheng had to marvel at how cool he looked doing this. Like those CEOs in the dramas. Obviously, his father was also a businessman, but he lacked the overbearing aspect of it. Now only seeing the second male lead's big brother did he realise this was the so called overbearing businessmen described in novels. In such a scenario, without a word spoken outwardly, the assistant will understand what the boss wants and hand him the object, right?

Jiang Cheng expectantly peeked over Wei Wuxian's shoulder trying to witness the cool scene. Nie Mingjue also held his hand out patiently. The bald man also stared at Jiang Cheng without blinking.

Jiang Cheng: (⁠☉⁠｡⁠☉⁠)⁠!

Nie Mingjue's standard CEO face almost cracked under the atmospheric pressure and he could only calmly put his hand down, "Pass me the walkie-talkie."

The employees around him finally regained their senses of fear once the cold words came out, they all scurried around trying to find and handover the walkie-talkie first and redeem themselves. In their head, they cursed mankind's natural attraction to beautiful things and blamed the evil concubine that had brought disaster to the kingdom. Jiang Cheng who was blamed for no reason at all wasn't even aware of it.

Jiang Cheng tried to blend into the background while the consecutive plot went on, no longer interested in the idea of interfering and trying his luck to attend the ceremony. But to his annoyance, it proved to be an impossible task. Let alone becoming a part of the background, wherever he went became the centre of attention.

According to the plot, they'll try using the walkie-talkie multiple times without any result. The other employees waiting back in the town won't pick it up. Since it has already happened once, Jiang Cheng obviously knew the reason it will happen. The subordinates Nie Mingjue was trying to contact got themselves caught in a fight with Mian Mian's adoptee father, whose goat they had apparently hit by accident. By that time, Nie Huaisang was supposed to be enamoured by Wei Wuxian's charm and ask him to accompany him while he drives to the town.

The town was around twelve kilometres away from the mountain road by the village, and the road was half an hour walking distance from here. In other words, Nie Huaisang wanted to spend some alone time with Wei Wuxian.

But this time...

"Seems like the connection is broken." Nie Mingjue spoke very rarely. Even rarer was him admitting fault or incompetence. But today didn't seem to be his day. "Nie Huaisang, you brought your car, right? Take Wei Wuxian with you and go to the town. By the way, take a look why they're not responding."

Unlike the previous life, the opportunity didn't need to be created and came lunging at Nie Huaisang on its own. Unfortunately, the circumstances were very different. Jiang Cheng saw Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian cringe at the same time, making him wonder if they took the popular route of 'enemies to lovers' instead of the promised 'instant love'. He lamented silently in heart that just a gust of wind yet see the damages it has caused.

"No, I'll not need to go. Just making a call to the Jiang family would be enough." Wei Wuxian politely declined. Nie Mingjue's expression did not change but he said in a constipated tone, "You think Nie family is there to run your errands or what, boy?"

"..." Wei Wuxian sighed, "My apologies. How about she goes? My brother doesn't like to stay away from me for too long." He pulled their female cousin forward to Nie Mingjue, her face turning pale at a concerning rate. Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes under the hide, why was this brother of his smearing his reputation left and right? He can't stay away from Wei Wuxian? Is he trying to prove he's mentally ill? Or was he seven?

"NO! If she goes I'll also go! I can't be away from sister." The male cousin laced onto his sister despite shaking from the close proximity with the scary Nie Mingjue. Jiang Cheng estimated although young, the boy was obviously not seven.

Nie Huaisang chuckled, "Ahh! It happens that my car only has two seats. Sorry." Then he looked at Jiang Cheng. And following his gaze, everyone looked at Jiang Cheng. Oh no!

"Wuxian... Why.. why don't you go?" Jiang Cheng's voice was hardly audible, but Wei Wuxian heard him. "I'll stay with you."

Since Wei Wuxian was aware of his unruly behaviour, he wasn't supposed to fear him being bullied by anyone. Jiang Cheng didn't really understand why he was acting protective of him so suddenly. Of course, Jiang Cheng was self aware. After years of living an inferior life, in his current state of mind, he indeed is very easy to bully, emotionally vulnerable. But to Wei Wuxian, he's supposedly a bully, hotheaded teenager others should be protected from, isn't he? Yet, not only was Wei Wuxian not questioning him over his sudden act of timidity, he was actually playing along.

"No, you should go!" Or how will you talk about Mian Mian and give him enough hints so that Nie Huaisang the undercover police guy can catch the human traffickers?

Wei Wuxian glanced at Nie Mingjue who was patiently watching their drama unfold with a deep gaze, telling Jiang Cheng with finality, "I'm not going, don't press."

What do you mean by 'don't press'? You want to shake off the second female lead so early in the story? You can't do that, what the hell!

Nie Mingjue finally seemed to have enough, pinching the bridge of his nose in a tired manner he did something between a scoff and a chuckle. "Alright. Mr Kim, go have someone take the claw off the bulldozer and take all four of them to the town." The female cousin couldn't help but add, "Sister Yanli is still left in the village."

Nie Mingjue gritted his teeth, apparently not believing his own ears as he spoke, "Pick up the miss on the way when you pass by the village."

This time the man in blue formal suit, who was apparently a foreigner, started sweating.

"Mr Kim?"

"Sir."

Nie Mingjue's stare gradually turned into a contemptuous glare, "Mr Kim." The poor guy trembled, wiping his face aggressively, "Sir. I'm extremely sorry. The two bulldozers stopped working one after another this morning. Since the road wasn't too practical to bring larger ones we brought the small ones, but it couldn't take much pressure." Seeing as the boss's face turned only darker and darker, the man started explaining even faster, "That's why we brought a lot more manual force to cover up the time lose. I'm so sorry for not notifying you. I just thought it was irrelevant and would only disturb you when I've already taken-"

Nie Mingjue's hand shot up, motioning him to shut up for good. Nie Huaisang interjected slyly, "Or this little guy could go with me."

"No, he can't."

"Wuxian should go."

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng spoke simultaneously and then gave eachother a look, even though what Jiang Cheng ended up expressing was but a blank piece of gauzy cloth.

Nie Mingjue now looked like he could be ticked off like a time bomb the next second. He has never had to deal with so many incompetent, indecisive people all at a time in his thirty years of lifetime.

Jiang Chen remembered how Mian Mian had helped him multiple times, how she was living a hard life when she's supposed to be the sole heiress of the Jin family, each thought burdening his heart more than the previous one. If one gust of wind really ruined the chance of such a bad criminal organisation that does this to people getting caught, Jiang Cheng will forever be a black sheep amongst the reborn men and women, a disgrace. He owed Mian Mian this much. He was even wearing clothes borrowed from her. Such a small girl...

Jiang Cheng hardened his heart and resolve, taking strong steps ahead with no such sign of his previous timidity to be seen, "I will go."

Once Wei Wuxian loudly protested, he tried to imitate his own past self, the unruly and willful brat. Jiang Cheng took of the hat and slammed it against Wei Wuxian's chest, gently, and huffed an air of arrogance, "What? Do I have to listen to you about how I should behave now?"

No, he shouldn't have done that much. Wei Wuxian is the protagonist. Scolding him and showing him so much disdain Infront of Nie brothers was definitely a suicidal move. Jiang Cheng's eyes involuntarily became teary again.

Too busy with self criticism, he missed the way people around him let out silent gasps. Wei Wuxian became flustered, bending down a little, eager but not aware of any way to comfort the boy.

"That's it then. Now, don't be stubborn and make the boy cry." With a mischievous smirk, Nie Huaisang hammered while it was still hot and walked towards the estimated direction of the road, spinning the car keys. After that, Wei Wuxian didn't know how it happened, but they all bid farewells as the two walked off.

Mr Kim bit onto his handkerchief that he was using to wipe his sweaty face, inexplicably thinking of the heavenly lamb being taken away by the small devil just like that. Many shared his thought silently. Only the male cousin staggered towards the female cousin and whispered, "Sister, did you see it? It's like his real face got out in the daylight for a slight moment right there."

"Right! I'm worried he might be in danger. This feeling, it's like a toad is about to eat my pet butterfly."

Nie Mingjue wasn't Jiang Cheng and didn't have the decency of acting deaf when people talk behind your back so loudly, "Excuse me?"

His thunderous voice caused the two cousins to turn around and shake, the male cousin instantly came between his sister and the big bad Alpha, "S-sorry. My sister didn't mean to call your brother a pet butterfly!"

Wei Wuxian and the rest of the onlookers: ...? Excuse me!

Nie Huaisang did not talk to him or try anything crude for five minutes straight after they started walking. Jiang Cheng had just gotten used to the silence, imagining everyone but himself naked so that he is confident enough to walk alongside this man, which was only Nie Huaisang anyway so it wasn't that taxing on his talent of imagination.

"So, your name, I still didn't get your name, beautiful." Nie Huaisang said, looking at him over his shoulder. The area was less dense and a sudden glimpse of sunlight hit his smiling eyes right on time; the scene only lacked a proper, romantic background music.

Jiang Cheng knew these ways of talking was famous among readers these days, but trying to force it into real life gave him the scare of the year.

"Why... why's that important?" Jiang Cheng violently kept thinking of Nie Huaisang as a naked man to boost his own confidence. He tried walking fast and pass Nie Huaisang and leave him behind, but he realised he didn't know which way to take. The guy soon caught up to him, "You're right. I guess name will be hard to earn just like your forgiveness, hmm?"

The momentary silence was broken once Nie Huaisang's phone chimed in with a cheery and high pitched voice, 'Alarm name: Coriander; four o'clock.'

"...?" Coriander? Jiang Cheng didn't judge without knowing anything, but Nie Huaisang seemed to feel embarrassed and explained himself, "Oh, I seem to have mistakenly set it in the afternoon. You know, I... drink coriander juice every morning before exercising...so ..yes, juice."

As a person proficient in making up lies on the spot, Jiang Cheng refused to believe he was telling the truth. But his his, whose whose.

"Where were we again? Yes... So you are Wei Wuxian's cousin? Which side?"

Jiang Cheng realised his name was associated with so much ugly, Nie Huaisang automatically deemed him to be one of the cousins Wei Wuxian had talked about a while ago.

"How far are we from your car?"

"Not like we're in a hurry."

We're Not? Jiang Cheng's hat was then snatched and he couldn't think ahead.

"Hey! Mr Nie! Kindly give it back!" Nie Huaisang wasn't tall enough to play the cliché of holding it too high and have Jiang Cheng jumping around, he could only hide it behind him, where Jiang Cheng couldn't reach without getting too close. Jiang Cheng, aware of the ill intentions lurking in the bad man's eyes, naturally didn't try to get it back. Nie Huaisang begrudgingly put the hat under his arm, the two of them falling into the previous calm again.

But not for long, obviously. "How old are you?" Jiang Cheng didn't want to continue conversing, but thinking how in novels this kind of 'rebellious' behaviour always has the love interest more into the main protagonist, he didn't want to take any risk. He had to bring up Mian Mian too, so having no conversation at all wouldn't help him either, "I'm... twenty."

Nie Huaisang's pupils shook a little, "Oh? Oh! Right. You are quite younger than I thought!"

I'm forty something year old, young boy. Call me uncle. Thinking such, Jiang Cheng's confidence instantly shot through the roof. Right, Nie was but a small child Infront of him, what was he doing being so stiff around this kid! "Why, you mean to say I looked way older?"

"What? No no! I just couldn't believe such heaven defying beauty has bloomed at such a young age. It's hard to think of anything else upon laying eyes on you. When would I have time to think of your age?"

Okay, no. Jiang Cheng really couldn't do it. His eluded tide of confidence was swept away in an instance; the whole road to the car, Nie Huaisang kept talking so shamelessly and Jiang Cheng kept pushing through with dark face. By the time they reached the car, Jiang Cheng felt he had been wrung dry of any ounce of patience.

Nie Huaisang's car was metallic blue and had racing harnesses for seat belts. Jiang Cheng instantly concluded that it's customised for job purposes, since Nie Huaisang needed to rush and chase.

Nie Huaisang opened the door for him even before he could touch the handle. "Please, gorgeous." Jiang Cheng pitied Wei Wuxian a little, realising this was what he will have to deal with in near future once Nie Huaisang stops pestering the side character and gets back on track."Get in, dear."

"..."

The seatbelts, looking more like safety harnesses from a roller coaster made Jiang Cheng have intense flashbacks. He had never been to an amusement park in his childhood, so in one of their picnics in middle school, he decided to ride a roller coaster. But one of his cousins pranked him about his seatbelt not being tied right before the ride started and he had a horrific experience the whole time. Moreover, the unsightly recording of him panicking was circulated among the classmates and young masters and mistresses for a good laugh. He, later on, had the cousin's dark intel published on gossip tabloids even though the revenge cost him three days of being locked up in his room and a thorough chastisement infront of all the elders in the old house. But the old Jiang Cheng was happy about the outcome anyway, that good for nothing cousin didn't have the face to come to any banquet for months after it was publicised that he has impregnated a servant Omega.

"What's wrong, pretty?"

Jiang Cheng: Brother, can you guess your car seats are giving me childhood PTSD?

Once the car started gliding expensively smooth on the narrow mountain road, Jiang Cheng finally felt more secure in the enclosed environment. Although the image of a naked Nie Huaisang driving, sitting right beside him was a little unnerving, Jiang could make a do with it. Ten minutes into the ride, Nie Huaisang played a song recently famous online. it was called 'Not Too Late'. The title was sliding across the the screen in big, bold letters. To Jiang Cheng's amusement, the font and the title seemed inexplicably ominous, he didn't know why.

Nie thought the cold beauty didn't like such trendy musics and worrying about being disliked, he hastily changed it to any other random song in the playlist. It just happened to bring him 'Wet Dream'. He cried a little in his head, he can never wash this bad impression off even if he drowned in the yellow river.

While the well disreputable pseudo playboy worried about making him think his taste in music was trash, Jiang Cheng was having another kind of crisis. The kiss... THE KISS!

Now everything made sense. The male cousin telling him the time, Nie Huaisang mistakenly setting the alarm in the evening instead of the morning or even the lackluster titles of the songs chosen by him, God dad has been giving him spiritual enlightenments all this while, about his due time coming to an end.

Jiang Cheng didn't know wether to laugh or cry.

He counted with his palm, from around five pm yesterday till now, almost a day has gone by. He didn't even have one hour left before he was going to be thrown into some old dude's wet dream.

To kiss a boy... To kiss any living creature... How could he kiss anyone? The last time he kissed someone, or Lan Xichen to be more specific, infront of Meng Yao to get under his skin when he accepted Lan Xichen's offer to go to the banquet as his plus one, Lan Wangji had threw him against the school yard's wall with a sucker punch.

Jiang Cheng actually thought of the possibilities of surviving through the wet dream more than he thought of finding ways to kiss a boy. Especially now that the only boy around him was Nie Huaisang the second Male Lead.

Did he really have to get into an old guy's wet dream? GOD SAMA~

Jiang Cheng actually played with fire and put it off for the next couple of minutes before they reached the town. Because of the steep and sharp turns, Nie Huaisang couldn't show off his charming driving skill and lamented a little. The so called town market was just a few dilapidated stores for various things and tricycle stalls selling vegetable, clothes, chicken alike. It was small but crowded. Seeing the shiny car parking in the open area beside the first store, everyone stopped whatever they were busy doing and stared in anticipation. Little children clamoured loudly around the car as they got out. Then the commotion instantly died down.

At first Jiang Cheng didn't understand what had happened, but once he saw everyone looking at him with shiny eyes, he realised it was because of his appearance. Jiang Cheng felt tired already just thinking of a whole life with such unwanted attention.

Unbeknownst to him, the skill ticket of disguise, while not granting him beauty does something irrevocably attention seeking. Because of its buff effect, whatever Jiang Cheng does, be it sitting, standing, turning head or any slightest of action, it is brought out through a filmy filter that makes it into perfection. He looks up filmy, steps out filmy and even blinks filmy. The buff almost acted like an unofficial protagonist halo.

Only if Jiang Cheng knew of this, he'd have never gotten out with his hat off to begin with. But moving on from what if's, the forgotten hat now laid stranded on the car seat as Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang walked into the market. "Let's go to a tea house while I try calling them." Nie Huaisang was talking about the Nie family's people that was currently fighting with the village head somewhere in the market to Jiang Cheng's knowledge.

"Or maybe, we could call the Jiang family-"

"Honey, we can barely make a call within the local area, you want me to call someone in another province?"

Jiang Cheng no longer argued and followed Nie Huaisang to a surprisingly quiet tea house, away from all the persistent eyes following them. The so called tea house was really just a restaurant with somewhat wide interior. The resources were little but it was neatly organised and comfortable. If the previous Jiang Cheng was brought here and told to sit, Nie Huaisang would have gotten a nasty scowl in return.

Jiang Cheng sighed as he sat on one of the tables in the center. There were very few people in the restaurant to begin with, and once the two of them came inside, even the customers who were about to enter stopped and stood at the entrance. It's natural that they felt a little intimidated, by the extravagant car, their expensive clothes, well maybe not the ones he was wearing, and especially Jiang Cheng's uncannily attractive face. Jiang Cheng swallowed a little as Nie Huaisang talked about how he would have taken him to a better place for their first date if not the circumstances and many more.

Jiang Cheng didn't pay him any head and worried about his task and about how to bring up Mian Mian without any inconsistencies. Okay, kissing a boy obviously wasn't feasible for now so he might as well stop delving into it. As they say, Qué sera, sera.

"Mr Nie..."

"Yes, darling?" Barely anyone calls him Mr Nie as most call his brother by that title. So hearing Jiang Cheng call him Mr with his sweet voice is a savory novelty.

"Do you believe in doppelgangers?"

"..!"

Nie Huaisang wasn't able to reply as the stary eyed waitress came with a tray full of local pleasantries and tea set, staring at Jiang Cheng shamelessly the whole time.

Maybe Jiang Cheng was trying to tell him he looked like his first love. Yes, that's a valid possibility. Nie Huaisang involuntarily made sad eyes, he obviously didn't want to be someone's stand in. But, he could make an exception and compromise to get him in bed-... to get his love even though he himself would be so sad and torn in the process. What could be done, who told him to go and fall head over hills just upon laying eyes on this heartless beauty?

Jiang Cheng: Why do I suddenly feel the IQ around us rapidly sinking and evacuating?

Once the waitress left them be, Jiang Cheng skillfully poured the young master some tea, trying to sound as spontaneous as was possible with his shaky voice, "My brother Wei Wuxian was talking about how the village head's little girl looks just like my sister's fiance.. hah... But then I told him it was a girl so she couldn't be a proper doppelganger. Then he said she looked like a photograph he had seen in the Jin family once he and sister had gone to stay there in the New year's."

Nie's ever playful eyes finally solidified. His smirk turning hard and fake. Of course, you could only notice that if you were informed of his true personality like Jiang Cheng was. To anyone else, Nie just looked confused,

"Why are you telling me this, honey? Who's this gal? Is she more beautiful than me, that you're bringing her up when I'm sitting right before you?"

Jiang Cheng: All the IQ has finally left this room.

"Well, I just thought of her suddenly cause.... umm .. yeah, the waitress looked so similar to her. Around her age maybe. Wei Wuxian is really a sharp boy. If he really says she looks so alike the picture in the Jin family photo album, I am not skeptical about it. Only makes me wonder, how coincidental it is, we just happened to stumble upon a relative's doppelganger. The world is small and round, right?"

Nie Huaisang smiled, putting his face on his palm and hiding all the calculative thoughts in his depth as he acted playful and fickle to the bitter end, "My darling believes in Wei Wuxian a lot... You two seem very close, huh?"

Jiang Cheng fell into a great dilemma with this question. If he said yes, would the crazy second Male Lead get jealous in the later plot and take care of his little canon fodder life, or would saying no make him a hater, bringing him to an even worse ending? Instead, Jiang Cheng awkwardly giggled, shaking his head as he picked up a small jello like sweet and put it on his tongue, "I'm just saying the obvious. Everyone knows Wei Wuxian is very talented. Oh, did you know the Jin family had a girl? I always thought Jin Zixuan was an only child so I was shocked. I wonder what happened to the girl in the photo..."

Jiang Cheng seemed to offhandedly mention it, taking a sly glance at the man across him to see his reaction. But Nie Huaisang actually didn't seem to pay any attention from the begining, his eyes were instead stuck to the chopsticks clipped between his lips.

Jiang Cheng: Excuse me, but where is your ethicality as a loyal love interest?

Jiang Cheng put down the chopsticks and didn't know how to rest his lips with the burning eyes incessantly staying on them. Fortunately, he didn't need to run his brain for long as Nie Huaisang's phone blared up, breaking the awkwardness and giving Jiang Cheng some moments of relief.

"Hello, Mrs Shen. Why are you guys not-...well .. huh?"

Jiang Cheng saw Nie Huaisang furrowing his brows as the woman's voice on the other side seemed to be loud and muffled and instantly knew the fight over the goat has finally reached it's peak.

"Okay, where-..hello, yes, I heard you. Mrs Shen, listen to me,-" Nie Huaisang gave Jiang Cheng an awkward glance and excused himself out to the entrance area, "-listen to me Mrs Shen. Where are you right now? Where are you exactly right now?"

Jiang Cheng sighed, about to look back to the appetising foods infront of him, but something else caught his attention. It was the glaringly obvious, modestly huge erection Nie Huaisang was wearing. Jiang Cheng's eyes went as wide as saucers before he turned them back to the very interesting snacks on his table. Yes, the small rice cakes are made into little flowers and the pudding tasted like chocolate even though it was obviously made of red beans. Wow, such culinary! Such wonderful skills...

.... Jiang Cheng was unsuccessful in distracting himself. really feeling rather scandalous. Was it common for novel Male Leads to pop a hard on up randomly across the day? What kind of immoral behaviour was this? Even as a man with two lives, Jiang Cheng couldn't wrap his head around it.

Whatever, this is probably why he's a side character. He wasn't quirky and special enough to understand the thoughts inside the main characters' head.

"Love, how about you stay here a little longer and I -" Nie Huaisang didn't get to finish as the loud and boisterous crowd came inviting itself right outside, the commotion moving past the restaurant to somewhere as if to hold a court.

Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng both didn't say another word and came out. One of the women from the centre of the commotion saw Nie Huaisang and called out to him with a scream, "Second master! Second master Nie! Save me. Wuwu~" It was a Beta woman with big eyes and long hair.

The crowd surrounding them followed her gaze and soon found the so called boss. The old man who seemed to be the leader had shiny eyes as soon as he saw Nie Huaisang's expensive clothes, "Oh, this is your boss? Tell him to compensate me for my goat right away."

Jiang Cheng came forward, to get a glimpse of the infamous abusive father of Mian Mian, the village head. It was a scrawny old man, with sunken cheeks and muddy eyes. At first glance he didn't look like a good man.

Once the crowd finally saw Jiang Cheng, the loud voices suddenly died down by a few notches. Okay, this was getting repetitive. Jiang Cheng really was starting to get used to seeing the very familiar sight of an awestruck crowd. This couldn't be good.

The goat, as if realising the attention was no longer on its 'broken' limb, looked up. Then it fell in love.

"Mehh~" It has never seen a celestial being before in its short animal life. Its master was always angry and harsh. It was a sad little goat, actually. But this, this man definitely wasn't human, right?

"What happened?" Nie Huaisang said, with a surprisingly stern tone, a rare sight of the cheerful second young master proving he was after all the blood related brother to the Nie family's devil.

"Your people ran over my goat. This goat is my only livelihood. If his legs stop working, how will I eat?"

"Just because you city people have cars, do you think our lives don't matter? You can hit and kill anyone?"

Many angry voices rung among the crowd. The village head pointed at his goat, a black, small and old one, crying out in a pitiful voice, "See how badly he's hurt."

The goat had forgotten to act hurt and instead was busy staring up at Jiang Cheng.

Nie Huaisang: ...

The onlookers: ...

Jiang Cheng: (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

The two men and Mrs Shen who was being held accountable like they had killed a man gained more courage upon seeing their superior's face and instantly shook off the arms holding them and ran towards Nie Huaisang to find emotional and corporal support.

"How much is the goat.."

The village head didn't expect the man to agree to give him money so easily and became too flustered to speak for a while, "What? You think everything can be solved by money? This goat helps me in the field, do you think any amount of money could help me fix him. Won't my field this whole year yield less corps? Can you compensate me for the whole year?"

Nie Huaisang sighed, about to take out his check, thinking of this more like charity work than falling for a scam. He didn't want to argue with this con man and leave a bad impression Infront of Jiang Cheng. But who knew, it was Jiang Cheng that walked forward while rolling up the sleeves of his robe without much progress, his stance that of a combat officer,

"Excuse me, but do you think we eat grass everyday for a living? You think we're easy to fool? What field work does an old goat help you with? You think I've never done it? I have experience of ploughing fields with four cows, alright? You want to scam money from me? I have seen many people like you, okay?"

Nie Huaisang's eyes widened and he was speechless the whole time. The village head seemed to share the same sentiment and stared back at him befuddled. The seemingly naive child suddenly puffed up like an attacked hedgehog with thorns all over his body, rendering most of the onlookers shocked. Jiang Cheng stomped towards the goat, crouching down and examining it's leg that was previously bent unnaturally. The leg, let alone a fracture, didn't even have a skin-deep scratch, just as he had guessed.

"Mehh~" the goat's eyes shone brighter. The celestial master has touched his dirty hoop, he can die happy.

Nie Huaisang hurriedly came upto Jiang Cheng once he got out of the stupor, holding his arms and taking him away from the goat like it was a bundle of bacteria. Jiang didn't see it, but behind him, Nie Huaisang's eyes had turned a little crazy, like an eccentric maniac, "Okay, honey. I'm a rich man, it's not a problem. Just see it as helping those in need. Forget about it."

Jiang Cheng grimaced, suddenly realising he was no longer Jiang Cheng the poor old man, but Jiang Cheng the young master who should never say weird stuff like doing field works... His body froze and he let Nie Huaisang manhandle him without any complaint.

"But boss, this guy harassed us for so long. We didn't even hit the goat in the first place.." The guy beside Mrs Shen complained in a pitiful tone, but the said boss suddenly wore a mask of a philanthropist and softly replied, "Be a little more forgiving, will you? Let it go. I'll compensate you for this harassment after I take care of it here?"

The little subordinate: Who are you? Give me back my boss.

The goat, forgotten protagonist of this whole drama, suddenly leaped up and landed itself upon Jiang Cheng's chest, making everyone shocked into silence for the third time that day. Jiang Cheng opened his mouth but no word came out. The black goat had pretty eyes, with long lashes and watery, doll like large pupils. Everyone seemed to anonymously see the illusion of a holy relic coming to life at the same time, feeling ridiculous afterwards.

Jiang Cheng's own eyes became wide, then he smiled a little adoringly, "Maybe we can take it home if you're giving out so much money." The goat obviously wasn't able to understand human tongue, yet his eyes seemed to portray his willingness. But Jiang Cheng wasn't done yet. He pinched the back a little, then groped the hind limbs a bit, nodding approvingly and saying, "I am suddenly craving Sichuan style mutton curry."

Nie Huaisang, God knows why, suddenly started to laugh out loud like a psychopath, hands on his bent knees and few drops of tears on the corner of his eyes. His gaze seemed to burn harder on Jiang Cheng's back, giving him goosebumps.

The onlookers' flimsy illusion naturally shattered into pieces with the sudden turn of mood. And who knows how much the goat understood, it at least seemed to realise he was being perceived as food.

The goat made seemingly cute noises a few more times before straining its neck to lick Jiang Cheng's chin like a dog without any shame, adaption is the key to survival.

Jiang Cheng smiled, a smile that made him look like the epitome of motherhood: very calm, very loving and very patient. "We can make braised goat shank."

The goat: braise your uncle's shank (⁠ノ⁠ಠ⁠益⁠ಠ⁠)⁠ノ

_

Author's Note: I realised I skipped the last update, so here's a merged version of the two due chapters. Hope you liked it.

Mini theatre:

Goat: I can die happy now.

Jiang Cheng: Then die.

Goat: Your uncle.

God dad: Even animals are so fickle these days.

Nie Huaisang: oh ho, competition!