A/N: *TRIGGER WARNING* (This chapter contains VERY triggering content so please read with caution)

Also, I'm sorry for this late update :(

-

It's been a few weeks since that night.

Taehyung expected things to get a little better; to settle down.

But oh how wrong he was.

~

Taehyung looks a lot frailer as he walks down those sickeningly polished hallways. It's almost like when he first came to school; when he was a newbie. But then again it's not. He was happier then. He never thought that his life would be so low to the point that he would call the bad times in his life 'happier times'.

Taehyung thought he knew what bad meant but now he understood that he had no clue. That wasn't bad; Compared to this that was luxury.

"Oh, look who it is," A tall boy says as he spots the blue-haired boy. Taehyung flinches as he tries to speed up his pace, not wanting to cause yet another scene.

"Where are you running off to, fag?" the boy laughs mockingly, gaining the attention of a few passersby who stare at the scene with amusement.

Suddenly, Taehyung feels himself being pulled back and slammed into a locker. He gasps as the boy pins his shoulders to the metal framework and stares down at him with a wicked smirk.

"You trying to avoid me?" The boy growls.

Taehyung cowers his head. He has no clue who this is but this is how it was for the past few weeks. People who he had never seen started randomly coming up to him so that they could torment him or call him names.

When he started school he was a nobody but now, Kim Taehyung is the centre of attention. He is the centre of attention for all the wrong reasons. By now everyone had found out that he is gay; The students, the teachers; Taehyung is pretty sure that even the janitor knows.

Everyone found out and they made sure that Taehyung knew that this is Helville High. A school strictly for straight males.

They don't tolerate people like him. And they made sure that Taehyung understood that.

The boy grabs him by the throat and slams him hard against the locker, the impact causing a loud rattle to echo through the halls. "Learn some respect, you piece of filth."

Taehyung groans in pain as his bruised back hits the hard metal. He can already feel another bruise forming on his skin. Just another one to add to the collection.

In the past few weeks these cruel boys made him into art; Painted his pale skins with scarlet tones and twisted his weak limbs into a crumbling sculpture. They looked at him like he was art; They ogled, stared, ridiculed. He was art that was constantly being criticised; Being judged.

Here in Helville High, Kim Taehyung is art.  A broken artwork.

"P-Please," Taehyung whimpers as he claws at the boy's iron-like grip.

The boy chuckles, his dark eyes twinkling with amusement as he watches the smaller suffer against his grip.

"You should be thankful that this is all I'm doing because let's be real, a fag like you doesn't deserve to be alive."

And with that, he drops the blue-haired boy who inhales sharply as he stumbles onto the floor. Several eyes watch him without a shred of compassion, watching as he weakly pulls himself off the floor and heads to his next class.

Despite the pain, Taehyung doesn't bother crying. After all, crying would only make him weaker than he already is.

And he's learnt now that you can never show your weaknesses to anyone. 

Even if it's to someone you trust.

~

He enters his chemistry class with his eyes cast down, slightly wincing with each step he takes as the pain from his back shoots down his spine. Several eyes cast towards him, once again making him the centre of unwanted attention. Every time he steps into a room it is stunned into silence.

Taehyung would have marvelled over the impact he had if he was in any other situation. But when the silence stretches on and those scrutinising eyes stare at you like you're some alien species, marvelling over it seems rather ridiculous. He just wants to cower away and hide. But he can't.

The teacher lingers his gaze on Taehyung's limping figure with a spark of disdain in his eyes before he looks back at the classroom. "Right boys, today I will be handing back your test papers from last week. After you go through them, you can start revising for exams. It's a free period but use it productively."

The teacher walks around the class and hands the tests back to the students. Some cheer out in joy while others grumble over their foul scores. Taehyung has his head hung low when his test is placed on his desk. He tiredly looks at the paper to see the score.

32%

He feels his heart drop at the sight. He has never gotten such a bad score in his entire life. Taehyung is known to be a straight-A-student; A nerd. But what did this make him? A loser? A failure? Taehyung clenches his fists and tiredly drops his head onto the desk but then his teacher's voice calls for his attention.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, kid," The man starts, looking down at the boy with a condescending expression.

"You used to be one of my top students. But now? Exams are right around the corner and you decided to slack off now?! I don't know what's up with you but I must say, I'm disappointed."

Taehyung looks up at the teacher, his heart feeling heavy at the man's words. "I-I'm sorry, sir."

The elder shakes his head in slight dismay, letting out a sigh. "I suggest you stop doing whatever silly things you're doing and start studying again."

Taehyung notices the glint in the man's eyes as he says this. It has a double meaning; 'Silly things'. The teacher is basically telling him to 'stop whoring around'. The words sound awfully familiar to Taehyung.

By now the school has started many rumours on him.

"He's a whore who's trying to seduce straight boys."

"He's a gold digger."

"He is transgender and is 'actually' a girl."

Kim Taehyung is all the things he never knew he was.

The teachers who used to look at him with a smile would now have a slight frown etched on their features. They too, heard the rumours; They too, believed them.

Taehyung smiles weakly at his chemistry teacher, "s-sorry, sir. I'll work harder."

Work Harder.

No one knows how hard he is working. How hard he is trying. How hard it is for him to cope.

They don't know that after school the boy would rush to work only to get yelled at by that horrid manager of his.

"You insolent bitch! I will cut off your pay for this whole day! How dare you come in late to work?! Do you have no clue on what being punctual is?"

"I-I'm sorry sir, I missed the b-bus."

"I don't care! You should have been more thoughtful and arrived at the bus stop earlier!"

"But sir-"

"JUST GET TO WORK AND STOP WASTING MY TIME!"

They don't know about the tireless hours he spends staying awake at night, studying.

It is 10:30 pm when Taehyung gets home. His bruised body desperately craves his bed but he can't sleep. He has exams coming up and he needs to study. Taehyung doesn't have time (or the money if he was being honest with himself)to prepare a meal and so he just sluggishly walks over to his books and opens them, ignoring his rumbling stomach.

He tries to study but his mind keeps wandering. The stress from everything else clouds his thoughts, making him unfocused. He tries to shake away his thoughts but they keep coming back; keep distracting him. Before he knows it it's already 5 in the morning. He doesn't even bother getting up to go to bed and just crashes right there on the floor, letting sleep consume him for a mere 3 hours before he has to wake up and repeat this endless cycle.

They don't know about the midnight runs he takes in those dark eerie streets.

Taehyung pants as he runs down the street, feeling his heart accelerate with each step. He doesn't want to look back at the angry men that are chasing him. All he knows is that he has to run. As he runs, he regrets. Regrets ever accepting Baekhyun's deal. His thoughts were clouded with anger and betrayal at the time and he ended up making a stupid choice.

A stupid choice that led to terrifying outcomes.

He runs as fast as his legs can take him, feeling his lungs burn painfully with all the exertion. He never knew how risky drug dealing could be until he was held under gunpoint by an angry drug dealer, demanding the boy for more substance.

Taehyung had been lucky for the man's second of distraction which he used as his chance to run. And now, he is still running. His tired body desperately wants to give up, desperately wants to just fall onto the floor and allow for the bullet to rip his skin. But he wills himself to keep running. Despite not having a reason to. 

And somehow he makes it out alive.

But he knows that he's going to have to do this all over again soon.

Because now this is his life.

They know nothing about his life; Nothing about him.

But they act like they know who he truly is, his personality, his character.

They act like they know every single goddamn thing about him because they know one thing.

They know his sexuality.

And to them, that is enough information to paint him as a villain.

An artwork he is; Kim Taehyung.

His whole existence is painted on by someone else's opinion.

Taehyung slightly flinches at the sound of the bell and gets up from his chair. People snicker and make snide comments at him as he walks out the door but he chooses to ignore them. He walks into the hallways and starts heading towards the rooftop, ensuring to take a more secluded route so that no one would bump into him.

But Kim Taehyung is never lucky. Of course he bumps into someone. Of course he bumps into him.

"Ahh, Taehyung, how nice to see you."

~

"JUNGKOOK!" Yoongi yells, finally garnering the ravenette's attention.

The boy tiredly looks over at the shorter male, his sleepless eyes boring into him. "What?" He asks monotonously.

Yoongi frowns, "I was just wondering what the fuck you're thinking about. You've been staring at the damn wall for like ten minutes and haven't been talking." Yoongi states before leaning in and whispering, "it's not anything about the boss, right?"

Jungkook shakes his head absentmindedly, causing the blond-haired boy to frown even further. "Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you then? You've been acting like some depressed bitch with separation anxiety for the past few days."

Jungkook grits his teeth, "I'm fucking fine," he states lowly.

Yoongi looks at the male carefully before sighing, "is it because of what happened the other day? Don't worry dude, people know you're not gay. They know that bitch was just trying to get in your pa-"

"Can you shut the fuck up!" Jungkook yells before storming off, causing a few eyes to curiously glance his way.

The ravenette storms out of the cafeteria and walks towards the more secluded side of the school, desperately in need of one of his nicotine sticks.

He rounds the corner while grabbing a cigarette out of the packet but then pauses when he hears some voices. He furrows his eyebrows and peeks behind the wall. He spots two familiar figures and finds himself silently listening into their conversation.

"What do you want, Jinyoung?" Taehyung asks, sounding ever so tired.

"Mm, nothing, Tae, just wanted to see how you're going. Are you doing okay?"

Taehyung scoffs, "Yeah, like you care,"

Jinyoung frowns, the expression looking rather exaggerated. "Why on earth would you think that?"

Taehyung looks up at the taller male, eyes glaring, "Don't act like you didn't call my father and tell him a load of crap to get him pissed off. You know exactly what you did. You've won, you happy now? If so, leave me the hell alone."

Jinyoung snickers, his empathetic facade dropping into a mischievous expression. "Why would I leave you alone, Taehyung? The fun just got started. You should have known not to mess with me."

"Why can't you just let me be?! What have I ever done to you?!" Taehyung yells, his expression exploiting his frustration.

Jinyoung chuckles, "I could leave you alone, Tae. That's easy. All you have to do is one thing."

Taehyung glares at him and clenches his fists.

Jinyoung smirks, "you just have to get back with me and all your troubles will be gone. I'll even call up your father and tell him I was joking. Then you'll have your dorm back, your money back, your life back..." Jinyoung leans in towards the boy and drags a finger over his jaw, making the smaller flinch. "...Me back," he says with a smirk. He chuckles, "It's quite a simple decision, Tae."

"No," Taehyung states firmly. "I will never get back with a prick like you!"

Jinyoung mock pouts, "aww, that's too bad then. I guess I just have to keep teaching you more lessons until you realise that you'll never win. You're quite pathetic baby, thinking you can just leave me like this."

Taehyung takes a deep breath before he spins around and storms off, not bothering to reply to the boy. All he can really do is walk away. There's no point arguing. It would be like fighting a battle that he's already lost.

Jinyoung watches him walk away before laughing mirthfully and taking his own leave. He rounds the corner to head back to the cafeteria but suddenly he feels himself get harshly shoved against a wall.

He groans in pain as his back hits the brick wall, feeling a jolting ache sear down his spine.

"A-ah, what the fuck," he exclaims and then looks up, meeting dark eyes. The boy stares at the ravenette in front of him, "d-dude, what the fuck!? Let me g-"

"Don't you fucking dare try mess with him," Jungkook growls, his entire body seething.

Jinyoung cocks an eyebrow as he struggles against the boy's tight grip that curls around his neck. "What's your pr-problem. I-I wasn't even talking to you!"

The ravenette leans in closer to the boy, his dark eyes piercing through the now cowering gaze. "If you even think about hurting him I'll rip you apart. That's a promise, not a threat."

Jinyoung glares at the boy despite the pain around his neck and back. "K-Kinda hypocritical of y-you to say, isn't i-t?"

At this, Jungkook's strong hold slightly falters, his hard gaze flickering with several emotions before he shakes them away and refocuses his attention back onto the squirming male.

"Maybe so," he says with a smirk. "But that shouldn't hide the fact that you're threatening him. If you're so big and brave why don't you try mess with me instead, huh?"

Jinyoung smiles weakly, attempting to look cocky. "Maybe I will. Maybe I'll tell the whole school that I saw the homophobic bad boy and the gay kid kissing in the shared kitchen a few weeks ago."

At this, Jungkook's eyes slightly widen but he quickly changes his gaze back into a deadly stare. "Oh yeah? Go ahead, try it. Just know that I'll have you dead before you can even open that mouth of yours," Jungkook says while applying more pressure onto the boy's neck. The boy chokes and struggles against his hold, frantically kicking his legs around like a fish out of the water.

Just as Jinyoung's eyes start rolling to the back of his head, the ravenette let goes, causing the boy to drop to the floor with a resonating thud. Jinyoung coughs as he holds his neck, tears glazing the rim of his eyes.

Jungkook walks away from the boy, ignoring his penetrating glare. He walks to the end of the hallway but then turns around to face him one last time.

He looks over at the boy with an expressionless face but his eyes shimmer with this sort of deadly intensity. "And next time, if I catch you messing with him again, I won't be chocking you as a warning."

~

Taehyung is still pondering over what had just happened with Jinyoung when he receives the phone call. He half expects it to be his dad calling him again to tell him how pathetic he is. But it's not.

It's his manager. And he is angry.

"WHAT IS THIS I'M HEARING! YOU CAME AN HOUR LATE TO WORK YESTERDAY?! IS THIS SOME SORT OF JOKE TO YOU? IS YOUR JOB A JOKE TO YOU?"

Taehyung flinches at the man's loud voice and pulls the phone away from his ear.

"S-sir, no, Y-Yuri told me the t-time changed for the s-shifts."

"They changed for HER! Not you." The man seethes. "How can you be so thick-headed? So brainless? You may have the looks but you're an irresponsible piece of shit that can't get any work done."

Taehyung clenches his fists to calm his frustration. He has been working his ass off ever since he started working at that place just a few weeks ago. He even worked overtime some days so the restaurant would be left in pristine condition before he left. He finished all his work despite his tight schedule but this is all he gets.

"S-sir, I'm sorry but it was just miscommunication. I-I didn't-"

He hears the manager scoff from across the line. "Miscommunication huh? This is the third time this week that you have been coming late to the shift. Are you going to blame that on miscommunication? Or is it because you missed the bus again?"

"I'm really sorry si-"

"Shut up. I don't need to hear your pathetic excuses. Instead, listen up close so that there won't be any miscommunication when I say this."

Taehyung bites his lip anxiously as he waits for his manager to speak.

"You're. Fired." The man spits out, emphasising each word.

Taehyung stills. No no no no, this can't be happening. 'N-no, sir. Plea-"

But the line is cut.

Taehyung feels like screaming. Is this really happening? Did he really just get fired from his job? This has to be some sort of nightmare. Because if it isn't a nightmare and this is really his dreadful reality, how is he supposed to pay the bills?  How is he supposed to have a roof over his head? How is he supposed to eat, sleep, study?

How am I supposed to survive?

It's like the world doesn't want him to survive.

~

Taehyung feels numb as he walks to his bible studies class. Usually, he would be eager when approaching the day's final lesson but right now he doesn't feel anything. He feels void; like a pit of darkness; Of nothing.

Taehyung feels like nothing.

It feels like every moment of every day just keeps getting worse and worse. Everything is falling apart, his whole life is crumbling down.

And all Taehyung can do is watch as he falls to his own ruins.

He enters the class and trudges to the back of the room. He hears the 'whispers' of insults but to him, it all sounds like white noise. Like static.

"Right class. I hope you all prepared well for today because I certainly gave you a lot of time for these presentations. I am truly expecting the best so don't disappoint me," Mrs Song says while clamping her hands together.

"Okay, I'll draw a name from the hat to see which lucky pair gets to go first."

The students groan as the teacher smiles. She shakes a small hat around and then picks out a piece of paper from it.

"Right. First up we have Soobin. So Soobin and Gyeomgi, please set yourself up and start your presentations. Remember boys, I don't want the presentations going over 6 minutes because I want to get through all of them today."

The two boys nod and set up their presentation. Once they're done they face the class with nervous smiles and then start presenting.

"Homosexuality," Soobin starts, his voice sounding a bit wobbly due to his nerves. "By definition of the dictionary, it states that it is "'the quality or characteristic of being sexually attracted solely to people of one's own sex'".

Gyeomgi then steps forward, "but by the definition of the bible, homosexuality is defined as a sin."

Taehyung mindlessly watches the boys speak, their words sounding almost dream-like and foreign to his ears. sin.

The boys continue speaking and then finally finish off. A new pair comes on and starts speaking.

"Homosexuality is a crime," states the blond-haired speaker. "It is an appalling disturbance to the public eye and hence why God deemed it a sin."

Taehyung watches the boy as he waves his hands around animatedly. crime. appalling.

He watches in a daze as the teacher picks more names out of the hat and more people present.

"Homosexuality is disgusting."

"It's an act of lust. Of pure lust."

"The bible states that if an act of homosexuality is committed, the sinners shall be 'put to death'."

Taehyung continues to listen blankly and finds his once empty head now spinning with all these words.

sin. crime. appalling. disgusting. lust. death.
sin crime appalling disgusting lust death
sincrimeappallingdisgustinglustdeath

The static noise ringing in his head seems to get louder and louder until it's broken. Broken by his name getting called out.

It's his turn to present. Their turn to present.

Taehyung gets up, not even realising that his body is slightly trembling.

He walks to the front of the class, hearing the snickers and snarky comments as he walks past the students. For a split second his eyes meet those familiar dark eyes as the boy steps to the front but he mindlessly averts his gaze.

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows upon seeing how pale the boy looks. They both set up the presentation and start presenting. Jungkook looks at Taehyung hesitantly who now stares back at him with a blank expression.

"Come on boys, get a crack on it. We don't have all day," the teacher says while checking her watch.

Jungkook turns away and takes a small deep breath. He clicks the PowerPoint and it slides to the information slide.

"Urm," he starts awkwardly. He gestures towards the slide. "In the bible, Homosexuality is called an abomination. Uh, this reinforces the religious ideologies of homosexuality and how it is a sin," Jungkook states awkwardly and then turns to Taehyung because it's his turn to speak.

Taehyung has this void expression on his face as he starts speaking. "Yes," he states. The class looks at him with intrigue, waiting to hear the response from the gay boy on what he thinks about homosexuality.

"I think homosexuality is...disgusting," Taehyung states, causing a few eyebrows to raise up in surprise. "In fact," Taehyung starts while standing up straighter. "I think it's treacherous. Loving the same gender is deadly."

Ms Song opens her mouth to remind the boy that in homosexual relationships it is lust that is felt rather than love but she pauses as the boy continues speaking.

"Feeling warmth, joy and happiness with the same gender is sin. It's horrendous. It's inhumane. Because love has boundaries. The strongest emotion of all has a boundary. Gender. Because if a man can't love a woman, a man can't love at all," Taehyung says, his tone sounding bitter.

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows because everything the boy said isn't part of the script they planned. He looks over at Taehyung and notices this frantic glint in his eyes. He notices how the boy is trembling.

"And if one can't love, one is a sinner. A disgrace to god. A criminal. And they should be punished. Should be shunned. Should be hurt. Because when you're a homosexual, you aren't human. You're filth. You're dirt. You're a worthless fag."

Ms Song furrows her eyebrows at the boy's words. "Uh, Taehyu-"

But the blue-haired boy cuts her off by staring right into her eyes, his voice quivering as he speaks. "And I believe that all homosexuals deserve to die."

And with that, the boy grabs his bag and rushes out of the classroom. The class is stunned to silence.

Jungkook stares at the spot that Taehyung was standing in. He hears the boy's words repeat itself over and over again in his head. And I believe that all homosexuals deserve to die.

He feels this pit of worry grow within him. His mind tells him to go after the boy.

But he doesn't. 

We're strangers now. He reminds himself firmly. 

And so he stays.

~

Taehyung stumbles onto the rooftops and then drops himself onto the cold hard floor. He curls his trembling body into a small ball and stares up at the darkened sky.

And before he realises, before he can stop himself, he's crying; Sobbing. Chocking on his sobs as tears stream down his face. The icy wind whistles a tune and carries his heartbreaking grief into the air. He shivers at the cold and curls himself into an even tighter ball.

"P-Please," he begs. To who? He doesn't know. For there is no one to listen; No one to care.

"PLEASE," he cries out desperately to the gloomy skies. His body wracks with sobs as he continues to cry. The blistering cold slaps against his exposed skin but he feels too numb to even care. His body craves warmth yet he knows he can't have such thing. For who would he get the warmth from?

His family? His friends? Jungkook?

No one is there to give him warmth. They all left him. They all left him because he's a homosexual. Because he's a fag.

He can't help loving the same gender, he was born that way. But why? Why is he getting so harshly punished for it? Why is the world making him suffer so much? All because of something he can't control?

His whole life has been a mess but this? This is something else. His grades are suffering, he's jobless, he's risking his life and working for the mafia, he has a crazy ex who wants to ruin his life even further. He's constantly hungry, constantly cold, constantly alone. He's so so alone. He has no one. No one to give him a hand, no one to offer him a smile. Anyone who looks at him looks at him with malice; With hatred. With disgust. In this universe filled with billions of stars, billions of galaxies, billions of people. Kim Taehyung is all alone. A lone star in the mass spectrum of space.

"I-I'm only 18," he cries softly to the sky.

Youth is supposed to be beautiful, supposed to be memorable.

But for Taehyung it's traumatic. His youth is filled with his spiteful parents, his fake friends and his wounded heart.

His grandma always told him to believe in love. She taught him to let his heart guide the way and let fate do the rest.

He stares up at the clouds and smiles sadly, imagining his grandma watching him from up above.

"I-I f-fell in love, Nini."

He sniffles, wiping his tears away. "I-I let my heart guide me."

He chuckles into the silence of the evening. "Was it supposed to hurt this much?"

The sky just glares down at him with its thunderous clouds, not answering his desperate question and leaving him to hang onto this hopeless tragedy called life.

His heart feels heavy and his throat feels tight. "I miss you, Nini," he calls out weakly.

"You're the only person who's ever cared."

Taehyung doesn't understand the point of his life. Why is he here? What's his purpose? Who is he? Every time he would try and be himself, the world would shut him down, tear him apart. Wreck him.

So who is he supposed to be? Who is he supposed to mimic? Because clearly, living as Kim Taehyung is not what the world had set for him. No one wants Kim Taehyung. They want his facade. They want him to be a straight boy who talks about girls and loves playing sports. No one wants him.

This hollow feeling settles within Taehyung's body. It's eerily comforting but also suffocating. He feels empty. The thought repeats itself in his head, creating this dreadful melody that eats away at his crumbling body.

No one wants him. No one wants him. No one wants him.

But then a name flickers in the back of his mind, settling this tiny speck of hope in his gut. A small light in the darkness. A breath of air to stop his suffocation. A sense of hope.

Hope.

His shaky hand reaches for his phone and clicks on the contact. He desperately waits as the line rings and then a familiar voice picks up.

"Hello?"

"Emily..." Taehyung calls out, his voice just above a whisper.

"Taehyung?" The girl asks, her voice sounding slightly muffled by the rush of voices in the background.

He takes a deep breath. "C-Can I t-talk to y-"

"Hey, Tae- uh sorry sir, that's not on the menu today- uh, I'm really busy right now, I'll call you back another time." And with that, the dull tone of the phone line rings through his ears. The echoing beep carries this bitterness with it and Taehyung smiles sadly as he drops the phone from his ear.

He looks at the ground, still hearing that dull ringing of the phone line. Like the noise a heart monitor makes when the heartbeat stops.

It's a cruel thing; Hope. It fills you with this small sense of joy, of relief, but then it rips it away. It leaves you feeling more bitter; more numb; emptier.

Taehyung clenches his fists against the concrete floor, not caring about how the sharp rocky texture scrapes the skin of his knuckles.

It's wondrous how he had hope. Taehyung breathes out slowly, watching his breath as it comes out in tendrils of frozen vapour.

It is what ruined him. Hope.

For he had hoped for things to get better, hoped for love, hoped for acceptance.

He had clung onto this sense of hope oh so pathetically, hoping that it would be the answer to all his miseries. But oh how wrong he was. This hope he had is what left him broken. What hurt him the most.

It gave him an empty promise. A delightfully wrapped present with nothing inside. It left him feeling despair.

And he just wishes that he realised sooner. Realised what this so-called hope was doing to him; Realised that it was only breaking him even further; Realised that it was only raising him higher and higher so it could drop him down and let him suffer in the pits of rock bottom.

He was a fool for hoping.

For all it had done was temporarily mask his dreadful life. Deceived him of his evil fate. Kept him walking down an endless road.

But at least he realises now; His life is just an endless road. There is no path, no glorious destination. The journey is just a sickening car ride. A car ride in which he has no control over.

And now, Taehyung feels apathetic. He's glad he has no hope because it made him realise. Realise the answer to his question.

His life has no point; It is pointless. Meaningless. Worthless. Kim Taehyung has no purpose.

Not every star is born to shine.

Some are just created to diminish into a lightless blackhole.

Taehyung gets up, his legs shaking as he walks to the edge of the rooftop. He places his hands on the edge and then looks down. He notices how the ground seems miles away from where he is stood. Falling off it would mean instant death.

Taehyung imagines his body on the floor, crippled away from life as blood seeps out of him. The thought is gruesome but somehow, Taehyung doesn't find it disturbing.

He imagines what the school would think if they saw him like that.

They would gather, maybe take a few pictures. They would surround him and laugh. No one would mourn his death. They would rejoice it. To them it would mean there's one less fag in the world. One less criminal. One less sinner.

He wonders what his old friends would think. He imagines Jimin's face. The blond would probably scoff and walk away, disgusted by how weak he was.

His mind then drifts to his parents. The school would call them up, telling them how their son has jumped off the building and fell to his death.

He could hear their reply. "Sorry, we don't have a son by the name of Kim Taehyung."

Then his mind finally drifts to Jeon Jungkook. He imagines his face. He might be shocked at first. He imagines what he would think.

"Damn, the boy I was fucking killed himself?"

Then he would walk away, moving on with his life. Forgetting that the name Kim Taehyung ever existed.

He would forget, just like everyone else. Because a star that doesn't shine is of unimportance to everyone. No one cares. They wouldn't even notice the change.

Taehyung smiles to himself and then looks up at the sky.

"I've tried to stay strong, Nini, just like you used to tell me. Just like I promised you all those years ago. I really did try. And I'm sorry to have to break my promise to you..."

The sun slowly slides past the horizon, casting a luscious evening glow with that golden liquid that enriches the dark clouds. The sky bursts with vibrant colours, from hues of royal purple to pastel pinks. It's a beautiful sight. A beautiful world. A beautiful day.

Taehyung just wishes it was a beautiful life as well.

But for him, it isn't. And sadly, it never will be. He understands that now.

He sighs in melancholy, feeling that everlasting sense of numbness finally take over his entire form. "...But I just can't do this anymore."

~

Jimin thought to grab a coffee from the school cafe before he went home.

He trudges down the large hall but stops when he feels a light tap on his shoulder. He turns around and the first thing that goes through his mind is; Woah, she's pretty!

A pair of big green eyes stare up at him, accompanied by luscious blond hair, similar to his but without the artificial colouring, its seems.

"Uh, hi?" The girl asks, sounding a bit confused with herself.

Jimin smiles down at her, "hey?"

The blond smiles, "Um, I'm Emily. Are you Jimin? Park Jimin?"

Jimin nods while smiling, "yeah, that's me."

She smiles hesitantly, "you're a friend of Taehyung, right?"

Jimin is slightly taken aback by the question. He ponders for a while and then looks away to the side with a slight frown. He shrugs with bitterness lacing his actions, "I-I- I dunno, yeah?"

Emily nods frantically at that, looking somewhat relieved. "Do you know where he is?"

Jimin shakes his head, "no?"

She sighs and runs her small hand through her hair. "Dammit. I've been trying to get ahold of him again but he won't answer. He called me when I was really busy with work and I couldn't talk but he sounded kind of urgent. I tried calling him back as soon as I got off but he won't answer. I-I'm kind of worried."

Jimin watches with a crease between his brows as the girl rambles on. He hasn't talked to Taehyung in nearly 4 weeks, let alone does he know his whereabouts. But Emily's words set of this slight unease within him.

"I think I might know where he is," Jimin says while scratching his nape.

Emily's eyes light up and despite the odd situation, Jimin can't help but think how adorable she looks.

"Can you please take me there?" She asks.

"I mean, it's his dorm. Girls aren't allowed up there."

At this, the girl's smile drops off her face. "Oh," she says, lips drooping into a frown.

Jimin hesitates, "b-but i guess I could sneak you up there?"

Emily lights up once again. It was like she was this crazy lighting system that reacted with her varying emotions. "Can you really?"

Jimin nods.

And that's how Jimin ended up ditching his evening coffee and sneaking off to the boy's dormitories with a pretty blond girl to find his ex? best friend.

~

"It's only 5:00 pm but it's already dark outside," Emily whisper yells as they walk oh so suspiciously down the dormitory halls. Emily is clad in one of Jimin's hoodies which he lent her, allowing for her to hide her blond locks and blend in with the rest of the male population.

Jimin frowns as he watches the girl walk, "stop walking so femininely, you're making it so obvious."

Emily looks back at him and snarls slightly before slouching and walking like a classic douchebag. Jimin can't help but chuckle at her actions. They look around warily as they approach the boy's dorm and then walk up to it to knock on the door.

"Gotta warn you. His roommates a dick. God forbid you if he answers the door," Jimin states as he comes up and stands next to the girl.

They both wait a few passing seconds before the door is finally opened. They are greeted with the sight of a ravenette with dark sleep-deprived eyes, wearing a loose sweater and sweatpants with a cigarette dangling from his lips.

Jungkook frowns as he sees the pair. "What do you want?" He bites out, but his voice sounds more dull and lifeless than irritated.

"We came to see if Taehyung is here," Jimin mutters quietly.

Jungkook shrugs, "he doesn't live here anymore."

Jimin's eyes widen, "what? Where does he live then?"

Jungkook sighs, his voice sounding rather pained as he speaks. "I'm not sure."

Jimin nods and then looks over at Emily who is chewing on her fingernails. "Dammit, I'm such a bad friend. I should have talked to him when he was on the line!" She runs a hand through her hair in frustration and tugs at the blond locks.

"H-he needed to tell me something but I completely blew him off! God, I'm horrible," Emily rants as she anxiously chews on her nails.

Jimin places his hand on her shoulder to calm her down, "Hey, don't worry. I'm sure it wasn't that urgent. He probably just went out and wanted to see if you wanted to join or something?"

Emily shakes her head, "N-No, there was something in his voice that felt urgent. But I brushed it aside because I was so caught up with work!"

She starts rambling again but is cut off by the ravenette. "What are you two talking about?" He asks with a frown.

Emily sighs, "Taehyung, um- you're roommate, called me earlier and asked if he could talk to me but I cut him off because I was busy even though it sounded urgent and now- now I'm scared something's wrong and it would be all my fault and-"

Jimin cuts her off, "hey, it's okay. We can go look for him, okay? Stop panicking."

Emily nods, "y-yeah, o-okay."

She smiles weakly over at Jungkook, "thanks for the hel-"

"I'm coming with you," the ravenette states firmly.

Jimin frowns. Doesn't he hate Taehyung?

But then he sighs to himself as he asks himself, but then again, aren't I also supposed to 'hate' Taehyung?

~

"How are we supposed to find him if we have no clue of his whereabouts?" Jimin asks while they walk down the school halls.

Emily shrugs, "I-I don't know. Maybe we could ask aro-"

Jungkook cuts her off, " If you have his number, shouldn't you be able to track where his phone is?"

Emily jumps up at that, "oh my god, yes! Why didn't I think of that before?!" She pulls out her phone and goes on the 'findmyfriends' app.

She scrolls through her contacts and clicks on Taehyung's name but pauses as soon as the phone location pops up on the screen. She frowns, causing the two boys to look over at her with a curious expression.

"What is it?" Jimin asks while peeking over her shoulder to look at the device.

"His location...it's...it's still in the school."

Jungkook frowns and feels this weird gut feeling settle within him. "Where does it say he's at?"

She squints her eyes, trying to read the screen but then shoves the phone in front of Jimin. "Do you know where this is?"

Jimin scans over the screen and frowns. "That's just a random hallway near B block."

Emily gnaws on her lip as she thinks, "m-maybe he dropped it there?"

"No," Jungkook interjects. "Let's go check there."

The two nod in response and they head towards the hallway.

"There's no one here but us," Jimin states as they look around the narrow hall.

Emily frowns, "there doesn't seem to be any phones laying around either," she sighs. "But this is where it says his phone is," she exclaims, pointing to her screen.

"Maybe the app glitched?" Jimin suggests.

"Yeah..." the girl says sadly. "Maybe we should-"

"-where does that lead to?" Jungkook suddenly asks while pointing towards a door that is slightly ajar.

"Isn't that out of bounds? It leads to the rooftop," Jimin states while turning to face the door.

Jungkook feels his gut slightly twist at that, that odd feeling in him only growing more intense, slowly consuming him.

"Let's check up there," he states softly.

Jimin shakes his head, "are you crazy? That's out of bounds. If we get caught they will probably give us a month worth of deten-"

"Then leave. I'll go by myself," Jungkook states, silencing the blond.

The ravenette walks to the door and finds a set of stairs that he starts to climb. He hears footsteps behind him and looks over to see that the two actually followed him. He turns back as he steps onto the last step and is met with another door.

"That's probably locked," Emily states softly as she approaches the door.

Jungkook tugs at the handle but to his surprise (and dismay), the door opens.

The trio step through the door onto the rooftop.

The sight up there is mesmerising, dark brooding skies accompanied by early stars and the tops of leafless trees. It would have been an eye-catcher.

But that's not what catches their attention.

That's not what makes them freeze on the spot.

That's not what makes their hearts stop.

It's him.

The boy standing on the ledge of the dangerously tall building.

Kim Taehyung.

They watch in pure shock as the boy leans his small body forward, waiting for the mere brush off the wind to push him off, to send him plummeting to his death.

Taehyung heard the click of the door opening but he doesn't bother looking back. He doesn't care who it is because, in just moments, he won't have to care about anything. He won't have to worry about anything. He will no longer have to keep living this dreadful life of his.

He will be free.
He may meet his Nini once again; He may get the chance to finally be with someone who cares for him.

And with that thought in mind, Taehyung takes a deep breath, his last, and then leans forward.

And then he's falling. He's falling for what feels like hours but is less than a second. He's falling until he feels the harsh impact of the cold ground.

And then there's silence.

Silence that stretches for miles, drowning his mind with this empty melody.

Is this what death is? A realm of utter silence that stretches on for eternity?

Is this what it feels like to be dead?

But then Taehyung notices the odd details. Like how the cold hard ground that he supposedly plummeted into is actually rather warm and smooth.

Taehyung frowns as he registers the strong arms wrapped around him.

He hesitantly opens his eyes and finds himself staring up at the gloomy sky. He confusedly looks around, frowning even harder when he registers his surroundings. He's still on the rooftop.

It's then that Taehyung realises that he isn't dead; That he actually fell backwards onto the rooftop instead of the ground below; That just before he fell, a pair of arms had pulled him back and now he is laying between those arms; That he is very much, still alive.

Taehyung turns around and his eyes meet those familiar dark irises that he wasn't expecting to see again. Jungkook.

The boy looks back at him with the widest eyes, his face looking paler than what the cold weather could take credit for.

His voice is small, shocked, choked up as he speaks, "B-Bambi."

The name seems to trigger something within Taehyung. He stares at the boy expressionlessly for a few passing seconds before his eyes pool with angry tears. He glares down at the ravenette below him, his entire body fuming.

"W-Why?!" He cries out, his voice cracking with the weight of his overbearing emotions.

"WHY!" He screams, his entire body shaking as tears slowly stream down his face.

Jungkook looks at him with that same expression. He fumbles with his words as he speaks, "Y-You- I- I'I'm sorry, I-I never meant w-what I said t-to you. I-I-"

But Taehyung cuts him off. "-why didn't you let me fall?" He asks weakly, casting his eyes away from the boy.

At this, Jungkook is at a loss for words. His heart stops as he replays what the boy just said. He can hear it in his head, over and over again. Why didn't you let me fall?

Taehyung looks back at him with that angry stream of tears still falling down his red cheeks. "Why'd you stop me? Huh?" He asks, his voice laced with bitterness. "Is it for your sick satisfaction? Is it so you can continue to watch me suffer? So you can continue to see me constantly get bullied and abused? Or is it for something else?"

Jungkook sits up, the smaller boy now seated on his lap. "T-Taehyun-"

"-is it so you can pretend to like me? So you still have a hole to shove your dick in when you feel like 'being gay'? Oh, I'm sorry, I should probably not say that around you, you're not very fond of fags, are you?"

Taehyung chuckles humourlessly as he furiously wipes away at the tears that continue to cascade down his face.

"You could have let me fall, Jungkook," he says sadly. "That would wipe away your dirty little deed. After all, I was just a reckless mistake, wasn't I?"

"Those whispers of sweet nothings, those countless hours of stargazing, those endless days of laughter, tears and joy, there were all just a reckless mistake, wasn't it? To you, everything was just a reckless mistake, a sin, a crime. Just like to everyone else. Just like everyone else, to you, I was just a misfortune. So why didn't you let me fall, Jungkook?"

He smiles weakly, "Afterall, you let me fall once and that hurt more than this ever could have."

Jungkook reaches out his shaky arm and pulls the quivering boy into his chest. He holds his tiny body closely and Taehyung just limply lays against him. Every word the smaller said echoes in the ravenette's head, haunting him. He feels his throat tighten and his heart constrict with every muffled sob that escapes the smaller boy.

He buries his head into the mop of blue hair as he shakily lets out a breath. He feels his own tears threatening to fall out of his eyes and he desperately tries to hold them back but it's no use.

He cries silently.

Tears of sadness. Sadness for the small boy cradled between his arms.

Tears of anger. Self loathe.

Tears of guilt. For he had done this.

Jungkook had done this. He had hurt the boy that he cared most about because he was so foolishly blinded by fear.

Despite his image, he is a coward. A pathetic coward hiding behind a ferocious lion skin. And it is his cowardness that caused this. It is his fear that caused this; It is he who caused this; Caused the once bubbly cheerful boy to become miserably sad. Caused that gorgeous smile to turn into a permanent frown. Caused those Bambi eyes to lose their spark.

I caused this. I ruined him. I hurt him. Me.

And all he can say as he softly cries along with the boy is,

"I'm sorry, Bambi. I'm so sorry."

It's pathetic that that's all he can say. Sorry; A broken word to plaster the bursting dam of anguish. It feels like blowing onto a bushfire to try put it out. For he already knows that the damage is done. Sorry couldn't fix what he had wrecked. But it's all he can say right now.

I'm sorry I stole the stars from your gorgeous Bambi eyes.

The onlookers marvel at the heartbreaking sight. They watch in complete shock as the homophobic bad boy cries silently as he cradles the small blue-haired boy. They can't process what had happened. One minute they walk in to see Taehyung standing on the edge of the rooftop, about to fall off, but then the next minute they see Jungkook running to the boy, grabbing onto him just before he falls. And now they watch as the two lay in each other's arms, sharing a moment that seems too intimate to be deemed platonic.

Soon the sky blooms with a mystic darkness, alerting the boys of the passing time but neither of them budge. Taehyung relishes in that familiar warmth that he'd come to love but also despise. Their emotions rush, both minds in different worlds yet parallel in thoughts.

They both feel week.

Taehyung, for feeling so content in the arms of the one that hurt him the most and Jungkook for being the coward who hurt the boy in his arms.

They both feel shaken.

Because one had nearly killed himself and the other was the leading cause of it.

And they both feel so so scared.

Because who knew what the future held?

And as if to top their thoughts with a freezing touch, it starts snowing; Crystals of white fluffy snow spiral down onto the two boys, adding an icy flare onto their warm embrace. Soon enough, specks of snow decorate their bodies. From the tips of their hair to the points of their shoes; It's a pattern of polka dots created by the innocence of the harsh weather.

It's a sight worthy of being painted; Two youthful hearts; loathing their own foolishness as they cling onto to one another. Their miserable tears only contrasting to the joyous speckles of snow and the gleaming stars in the sky.

It would be a painting worth a thousand words.

A painting about the ignorance of the two youth who cried so childishly yet failed to understand the truth behind their tears.

For neither of them knew the real reason behind their tears.

Not because of guilt. Not because of anguish. Not because of fear.

They cry because they both unknowingly crave for the one thing that seems impossible to have.

They cry because they both crave one another's hearts.

-

A/N: 8682 words... i'M okAy. I'm sorry for the late update guys but my school started and I have such little time to write this book. My exams are in like 3 weeks and so I won't be able to update this book constantly which sucks since there's like 3 chapters left. 

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter because I went through hell trying to write it 😅😂 (It's kinda all over the place but this is the best I could do right now.)

I love you :) ❤️