Warning: This chapter contains triggering themes

(Long chapter up ahead guys) 

-

It's 5 am and Taehyung's awake.

But this time, it isn't because of the blaring screams of his alarm. No, instead, it is to the sound of, Jungkook, frantically calling his name while pulling on his arm.

"Jungkook?" Taehyung asks groggily while lifting himself into a sitting position, his vision blurry with sleep.

"H-Help," the boy calls out, startling Taehyung out of his sleep-like state.

"Jungkook, what's wrong?"

Jungkook doesn't give him time to ponder, instead, he tugs him up and then starts running, prompting Taehyung to follow him.

Taehyung hastily stumbles behind the boy, rubbing his eyes to clear his sleep-deprived vision. They both arrive at the dormitories shared kitchen. Jungkook doesn't need to say anything for Taehyung to realise what's wrong.

Taehyung's eyes bulge out upon seeing the fiery blaze lighting the stovetop. He frantically rushes to the fire extinguisher and then aims it at the base of the fire. With several puffs of the extinguisher, the orange haze slowly dies down till it finally diminishes.

Taehyung puts the fire extinguisher down and then bends over, panting. "Jungkook.. w-what the hell?" He exclaims after calming down.

Jungkook looks away with an annoyed expression, his arms crossed over his chest and eyebrows furrowed irritatedly.

"Jungkook...?"

The boy huffs in response.

Taehyung bursts out into laughter, doubling over and clutching his stomach as Jungkook continues to grumble.

"W-Were you trying t-to cook?"

Jungkook shakes his head immediately, getting really defensive. "N-NO!"

Taehyung continues to laugh. "O-Oh my god, what w-were you trying to make?"

Jungkook huffs our in embarrassment. "Nothing."

Taehyung walks over to the blackened pot on the stove and then peeks over it, trying to see the contents in it. He frowns. "Jungkook, there's only water in here?"

Jungkook glares at the pot causing Taehyung's jaw to drop.

"Y-You started a fire while trying to boil water?"

"Shut up!" Jungkook growls defensively as a bright blush runs over his face.

Taehyung stares at the taller boy, eyes softening. He looks around, making sure no one else is there before walking over to the boy and giving him a peck.

"What were you trying to do?" He asks softly.

Jungkook drops his defensive stance and then pulls the boy into a hug, grumbling into his shirt, "make breakfast."

"Why?" Taehyung asks with an amused smile. "If you were so hungry you could have just woke me up. I would've rather got up early to make breakfast than to fight a fire," he jokes while patting the ravenette's chest.

"That's why, Bambi. You always make breakfast for me. I kinda wanted to return the favour and do the same. But in the end, it kinda failed."

Taehyung chuckles while pulling away from the boy, "I appreciate your efforts but I think we should leave the cooking to me, okay?"

Jungkook nods, expression still somewhat bitter. Taehyung shakes his head with a small smile. "Now come on. After nearly watching the school burn down, I feel kind of famished. Why don't we make breakfast together? Properly this time."

Jungkook nods reluctantly and walks up to stand beside the smaller boy.

Taehyung carefully places the burnt pot in the sink and grabs out a new one. "How did you even start a fire while boiling water?" He asks, genuinely confused.

Jungkook shrugs. "I was trying to boil eggs and read this thing somewhere saying that if I start with some hot oil and gradually add water, it will boil faster-"

"You added water to hot oil?!" Taehyung asks, flabbergasted. "Jungkook, we literally learnt this in chemistry last week- You can't- Jeez. Tell me you're at least passing chemistry?" Taehyung asks worriedly.

Jungkooks scoffs, "as a matter of fact, I got a 93% in the test last week." He states proudly.

Taehyung's eyes bulge out and he drops his jaw. "No way..."

Jungkook nods with a prideful smirk.

"...No way you beat my score." Taehyung frowns.

Jungkook laughs. "Aw, Bambi, maybe I should tutor you sometime?" He jokes, knowing damn well that the boy didn't need tutoring.

"No wonder Mr Fo loves you," the smaller grumbles. "How do you get a 90% but then do that," he says while pointing to the burnt stove.

Jungkook huffs and crosses his arms over his chest again. "The internet said it was fine and I trust the internet."

Taehyung smiles while plopping two eggs into the pot. "You trust some crack head on the internet over credible textbooks written by people with actual degrees."

Jungkook stares at him for a while. "Yes."

Taehyung giggles while shaking his head in dismay. Jungkook watches with fond eyes as the boy's lips stretch into that beautiful smile and his eyes crinkle with joy. He goes behind him and wraps his arms around his small waist. Taehyung blushes but continues to pay his attention to boiling the eggs.

Jungkook pecks the nape of his neck before resting his chin on his shoulder. "M'sorry I woke you up so early. I wanted to do something nice for once."

Taehyung laughs softly. "You don't have to go out of your... urm comfort zone... to do something nice for me. But thank you, I appreciate it. You know what they say; it's the thought that counts."

Jungkook chuckles and pecks Taehyung's cheek, not being able to get enough of the boy's soft skin. "Just say I suck and go."

"You suck," Taehyung says before pulling away and walking towards the door.

Just as he's about to exit, Jungkook grabs him by the wrist and pulls him in. "Don't you dare," he says, eyes twinkling with playfulness.

Taehyung giggles as Jungkook pulls him into a kiss. They shortly pull away and Jungkook gently pats the blue heads ass. "Right, now that I've taught you how to cook, let's eat, shall we." The ravenette says with a teasing smirk.

Taehyung playfully rolls his eyes. "Yes, sir."

He doesn't see the way Jungkook gulps at that.

And neither of them see the way that those dark eyes stare at them from the corner of the room.

~

"Here comes the mother trucking aeroplane."

Taehyung opens his mouth only to have Jimin shove a long-ass sushi roll into it.

Jimin giggles as Taehyung borderline chokes on the sushi. "You good, bro?" He asks while patting the boy's back.

Taehyung coughs a little before nodding. "You didn't have to feed me the whole damn roll, Chim!"

"The bigger the better," Jimin says with a playful smirk.

"You know what else is big," Hoseok says while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Your ego." Jin deadpans.

Hoseok gasps, "Oh my god, I can't believe you ju- wait, you're kinda right."

"Who's right about what?" A voice calls, approaching the table.

"Jinyoung!" Jimin exclaims happily.

"Hi," The boy smiles, his eyes crinkling into small crescents as he waves.

Taehyung freezes. What on earth is he doing here?

"Oh, Taehyung, you weren't here yesterday when this happened. But after you left, we invited Jinyoung to sit with us," Jimin says.

Taehyung feels as if his heart stops. This can't be happening.

Jinyoung smiles at Taehyung, "you're okay with that, right Tae?"

Taehyung snaps out of his trance and stiffly nods. The group continue to chat and Taehyung sits there, quietly eating his food and contemplating everything. He listens as the boys compliment Jinyoung, telling him how sweet he his. How funny he is. How good at everything he is. Taehyung just listens, not bothering to join the conversation.

As the boys approach a livid conversation on busty cheerleaders, the bell rings (Taehyung thanks God for that) and everyone gets up to go. However, as Taehyung's about to leave, he feels a hand grip onto him and pull him back, slightly startling him.

"Can I talk to you in private," Jinyoung asks, voice lower than usual.

Taehyung hesitates before reluctantly nodding his head. The two boys head outside the college to an enclosed grassy area.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?" Taehyung asks nervously.

Jinyoung smiles before shrugging. "Just wanted to see how you're doing."

Taehyung narrows his eyes, "I'm doing fine. Now if that's all you wanted to know, I'll be taking my leave."

Jinyoung grabs onto Taehyung's hand before he can walk off. "I miss you..." he says quietly. His words are so abrupt they halt the blue-head in his steps.

Taehyung's posture stiffens. "W-what?"

Jinyoung sighs, "All this time that we've spent apart, I've been thinking. I realised that I-I miss what we had. I miss you, baby."

Taehyung flinches at the name. Baby. He turns around to face the black-haired male, eyes hard, void of emotions. "What are you doing, Jinyoung?" Just saying his name out loud makes Taehyung feel queasy.

"Look, I know we may not have left off on the best page but... that's in the past. This is the future. We can move forward, build up what we had..." the boy says while wrapping his arm around Taehyung's waist.

Taehyung pushes him off and steps back, eyes enlarged. "A-Are you crazy?! J-Just get off me! You're just a part of my past and I would like to keep it that way! What we had is over. It was over the minute you walked out that door."

And there it is. Taehyung sees it. The switch. How his starry eyes narrow into a darkened gaze. How his softened features turn hard and grim. How that oh so sweet smile of his drops into an angry scowl. He sees Jinyoung. The real Jinyoung; The Jinyoung behind that deceiving mask.

//

Jinyoung kisses Taehyung's cheeks as the boy giggles. "You're the cutest little baby in the worlddd," the black-haired boy sing songs. Taehyung shies away and hides his face in the crook of his neck.

Jinyoung trails the kisses down from the boy's cheeks to his neck, kissing and sucking on the skin tenderly. Taehyung gasps, surprised by the action.

"Mhm, you smell so good, baby," the older hums while nipping at the boy's neck. Taehyung giggles shyly but then frowns when he feels the boy's hands slip under his shirt.

"O-Oh?"

"So good," Jinyoung states as he slowly pulls off Taehyung's shirt.

"Jinyoung?" Taehyung calls out. The black-haired boy looks up at him, eyes hooded. "Yes, baby?"

"W-what are you doing?"

Jinyoung smiles lazily, "M'gonna make you feel good, so so good." He says while slowly dragging his hands to Taehyung's pants.

The younger slightly gasps, "u-uh, Jinnie, I-I... I t-told you before. I'm not ready for this..."

Jinyoung stops his actions and looks up, his hooded gaze suddenly hardening as his lazy smile drops into an irritant scowl.

"You know what, Taehyung? I'm starting to think you don't really love me."

Taehyung's eyes widen. "W-What?!"

"You always push me away when I try something."

Taehyung frantically shakes his head, "n-no! It's nothing like that, i-it's just that... I'm not ready for that... it's not you, I swear."

Jinyoung looks away, his grip on the boy's waist tightening, almost painful. "If you really love me, that wouldn't matter. You would be willing to give yourself away for someone you love. But clearly, with you, that's not the case..."

Jinyoung looks back at Taehyung, a small smile etching his lips, eyes soft, ever so gentle. "I guess you never really loved me, but that's oka-"

"No!" Taehyung interjects, feeling guilt pool in his gut. "N-no, Jinnie, I-I do love you. I do."

Jinyoung stares at the male for a few seconds, completely silent. Then there's a flicker in his soft eyes. A change. A change that Taehyung doesn't seem to notice.

"Then prove it, baby."

-

Taehyung lays there next to the boy, both stark naked. The moonlight filters into the room and shines over their bodies, reflecting off the speckles of tears that cling onto Taehyung's lashes.

"I love you," Jinyoung says, flipping over and falling asleep.

"I love you too," Taehyung croaks out, words trembling with unshed emotion. He doesn't fall asleep that night. Or for many nights to come.

But he was so naive because he thought that it was worth it. The pain, the heartache, the fear.

It was all worth it because it was for love...right?

-

"T-they despise me!" Taehyung cries out. After his parents had caught him and Jinyoung in bed, it was like a hell ride for Taehyung.

"Jinyoung, w-we can't c-continue being so p-physical for a-a while... w-we can be together but- My parents, i-if they catch us again, t-they'll kill me. B-But I love you... I won't let them b-break what we have."

Jinyoung looks down at the crying boy unamusedly. "So you're saying like... no more sex?"

Taehyung looks up with teary eyes, looking a little confused. "Y-Yeah but, t-that shouldn't matter, right? I-It's o-only for a while, t-till I get away f-from my parents-"

Jinyoung sighs heavily. "Look, Taehyung, don't take this the wrong way but if we can't fuck around, there's really no point of this relationship."

Taehyung freezes at the boy's words. "W-what? B-But... I thought- you said- you said you love me..."

Jinyoung snickers, "yeah, love how tight your ass is."

Taehyung feels his heart drop, tears welling up in his eyes for a whole different reason. "Jinyoung, y-you can't be serious, r-right?"

The boy rolls his eyes. "Look, um, what I'm trying to say is, we should break it off? Okay? No hard feelings."

Taehyung stares at him, wide-eyed. No hard feelings?

"J-Jinyoung, we can't... b-but... I love you," he says softly, voice sounding just as broken as his heart.

Jinyoung looks at the boy boredly.

"Get over it, Taehyung. Love is just a word."

And with that, he walks out.

~

Jinyoung suddenly scoffs, snapping Taehyung out of his thoughts. "I see what it is," he says while walking towards the boy. Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, feeling anxious and rather confused.

"It's that boy, isn't it? Your roomie. Jungkook, is it?"

Taehyung freezes upon hearing the boy's name. "W-What?" He let's out breathlessly. He tightens his fists and looks up at him firmly. "I don't know what y-you're talking about."

"Oh don't act stupid, Taehyung. I saw what happened this morning in the kitchen. Saw how close you both were." The elder scoffs. "Isn't he supposed to be homophobic or something?"

Taehyung's breathing becomes slightly laboured as the boy continues. "Didn't think you had it in you," the elder says, shoving his hands into his pocket while smirking. "To seduce some homophobic prick. But I should've known better, a slut like you can get any man if you try hard enough."

Taehyung stays quiet.

"It's why you don't want me anymore, ey? Because you got another dick to bounce on."

And suddenly, Taehyung's feelings of fear replace with something else. With anger; A turmoil of betrayal, heartbreak and loathing that mixes together into a fit of pure rage.

"No," the blue-head says, sounding oddly calm. But when he looks up at Jinyoung, the black-haired boy sees it; The fire behind his eyes. Something he isn't quite used to seeing coming from the small fragile boy.

"It's not because of that."

He steps forward and then stops right in front of the boy.

"It's because you, Jinyoung," He says while poking the boy's chest. "are a manipulative dirtbag who can't be loved."

"A prick..." he spits, "who lies through his teeth to please his own sick desires."

Jinyoung steps back slightly as Taehyung takes another step forward. His voice trembles as he speaks but not out of fear. It's out of pure rage. "I can't be with you again because I was never with you. Kim Taehyung was never with you. To you, I was a rag doll, a sex toy. An ass to shove your dick in when you felt horny. You tossed me away when I was broken because you could no longer play with me. But now? Now I'm all fixed, looking almost new. You want to play with me again, huh?"

Jinyoung stands there, unknowing of what to say.

"Well too bad. You gotta learn that in life, you can't have everything you want. Not even if you go around baring that fake ass smile of yours. You can't always win. Learn to deal with it."

Jinyoung stands with his mouth slightly agape, feeling shocked. Is he getting rejected? No! No, he can't get rejected. Not now, not ever. And so he does what he's best at.

He softens his eyes and casts them down, making himself resemble a kicked puppy. He furrows his brows and lets his lips droop down in sadness. This always worked on Taehyung.

"T-Taehyung, you got it all wrong. I-I truly do love you."

Taehyung looks at him, face not giving away any emotions. He stares at the boy's sad eyes; At his heartbroken expression.

Taehyung leans in closer to the black-haired boy and then he smiles, ever so softly.

"Love is just a word, Jinyoung. Get over it."

And with that, he walks away. He clenches his fist as his body slightly trembles, angry tears threatening to spill past his eyes.

Jinyoung watches as the boy walks away. He lets his face fall, sad eyes shifting to a furious gaze. He scoffs, feeling ever so embarrassed. No one, NO ONE has rejected Jinyoung. No one except Kim Taehyung. And that fact doesn't sit right with him.

He scoffs as he watches the boy's retreating backside, "You're gonna regret that, Kim Taehyung. I'll make sure of it."

~

Jungkook had decided to skip classes today because his injuries were acting up. He was left alone in the dorm and without the little blueberry to entertain him with his silly quirks and adorable faces, there was quite frankly nothing to do.

He was left alone with his thoughts and that wasn't that good for him. As he lay there boredly on the bed, his mind drifted. Drifted to somewhere dark, somewhere where his fears lurked. Somewhere he hated.

It drifted to his past.

"When you grow older, I'll marry you off to a rich successful man. That way, you can keep our company name running and be rich! Wouldn't that be great, Jungkookie," His dad says cheerily, eyes dreamy as he lets his thoughts drift.

Jungkook tightens his fist. No, no that wouldn't be great. He didn't want that. He wanted to marry someone he falls in love with, someone he cares about. Not some random rich dude who only wants him for his body and nothing else.

He drops his head, "d-dad..."

As he speaks, his father comes over to join the conversation. "It would be great if we could marry him off to one of the Park heirs. They're bloody rich and getting a share of their company would boost our income by millions."

Jungkook's doe eyes glance up in fear, staring between his two dads. "F-Father, I-I."

His parents pay him no mind. They continue talking about money. About business. About marriage. Anything but their child's wellbeing.

Their words spiral into his head, causing him to feel dizzy. They want him to marry a complete stranger. Someone he barely knows. Someone he might hate.

"I-I don't want to," he finally speaks up as his thoughts become overbearing. His dads look at him. "What did you say?" His father asks, voice lowered into a deep grumble.

Jungkook looks up, his youthful eyes glistening with determination. "I said I don't want to."

His dad rolls his eyes, "oh don't be silly dear, you will do as we say and marry a man of our choice. Now quit making a fuss over it, it's no big deal."

"No," Jungkook says firmly, watching as his parents narrow their eyes. "I don't want to marry a man."

Suddenly, he stumbles back from the impact of a blistering hot slap. His father stares at him in anger as the small boy cups his stinging cheek. "You will do as we say!" He growls. "The decision is not up to you."

Jungkook huffs out in anger, "B-but it's my life!"

As soon as the words pass his lips, an iron grip tugs at his hair, pulling his head back to stare into his father's dark menacing eyes. "It may be your life," he spits while shoving the boy into a wall. "But never forget who raised you."

Jungkook turns his head away, hands shaking from fear and lips trembling.

"Do you understand?" the elder asks lowly.

Jungkook takes a deep breathe before looking back at his father eyes. If he let's go now, he will never be able to pick himself up again. He will always be bound by his parents constraints. He...he will never be happy. And so in a final act of determination, he shakes his head.

And then he watches in terror as his father's dark eyes light with a fiery rage. He is harshly shoved to the ground and a kick is sent into his ribs. He cries out, his small body curling in on itself.

"Quit being a brat, Jungkook and listen to your father and I," his dad says from the back, lazily checking out his nails as his 'son' cries out in pain.

"You're a worthless piece of shit," his father rages, kicking the boy once again. "We raised you all these years and this is how you pay us back? Through defiance?"

Jungkook whimpers in pain, trying to crawl away from the heavy blows.

"Well then how bout I teach you a lesson so that you never defy us ever again?" The man says while leaning in closer to the broken boy.

Jungkook lays there, bloodied, bruised, aching. And hovering above him is the man who inflicted all this pain. The man he's damned to call 'father'.

"I hope you learnt your lesson son," his father speaks, eyes looking ever so carelessly at the injured child.

Jungkook stares up at the man with a dull expression. The bright spark he once had in his eyes has now dimmed down to a grey entity; Washed down by the cruelness of the world. 

"I hope this taught you to never defy us again."

And at that moment, with blood on his skin, tears on his face and hatred in his veins he promises himself one thing.

He promises himself that never in his life would he listen to these monsters. Never would he go by their commands. He will forever hate them and hate anyone like them.

And never in his life will he fulfil their biggest wish;

Never will he fall in love with another man.

~

Jungkook snaps out of his thoughts at the sound of the door opening. He knows who it is and silently wonders why he is back so early but the thoughts of his past had worn him down to the point where he doesn't care to ask.

He listens as the smaller boy silently walks over to his bed and sits down next to where he is laying. He lifts his head up and notices that Taehyung's head is hung low.

"Bambi?" He whispers.

Taehyung hesitantly turns his head and looks at him, catching Jungkook off-guard with his red-rimmed eyes.

Jungkook sits up, his heart clenching in his chest at the sight. He reaches over to the boy with furrowed eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

Taehyung huffs while frantically wiping his eyes. "M'not sad," he states, causing the ravenette to tilt his head in confusion. Taehyung looks at the boy hesitantly, seemingly contemplating something in his head before he slowly crawls over to Jungkook and slides himself between the boy's arms.

Jungkook's heart unknowingly flutters at the small action. He looks down at the boy who is now leaning against his chest with a small smile. "Then why are you crying?" He asks gently while he wipes his damp cheeks.

"I-I'm not sad. J-Just angry. Y-Yeah. I was r-really angry!"

Jungkook can't help but coo at the pouty boy. He pulls him in closer and then runs his hand through his soft blue-locks.

"My little Bambi is angry, huh?" He coos teasingly. "What made my baby angry?"

Taehyung slightly blushes at the nickname but then looks away to avoid his thoughts getting muddled. "Jinyoung," he says, almost inaudible.

But of course, Jungkook hears him. He frowns, having not expected that answer. His teasing smile drops and switches with a more serious expression. "The new kid? Why, what did he do?"

Taehyung inhales a small breath before letting it go. He grips onto Jungkook's shirt as he builds up the courage to look into the boy's eyes.

"J-Jungkook?"

The ravenette nods, "yeah?"

"That new kid, Park Jinyoung...he's... he's my ex."

He watches as Jungkook's eyes widen, his face morphing into shock.

Taehyung sighs as he continues. " And I have a bad past with him."

And with that, he sets off on explaining to Jungkook about him and Jinyoung. He tells him about the kind of person he is. He tells him about the past. And he tells him about what happened today. (He decides to skip out the part where Jinyoung found him and Jungkook in the kitchen).

By the time he's done, Jungkook looks furious. Unlike Taehyung when he's mad, Jungkook doesn't have pouty lips and cutely furrowed brows. His eyes are dark and he seems menacingly scary. Taehyung slightly cowers at the sight because it reminds him of when he first met Jungkook.

"I'm gonna kill him," Jungkook says while standing up.

"NO!" Taehyung gasps while pulling the boy back down with all his strength. "N-no you can not confront him about this. J-Just don't confront him, please."

Jungkook clenches his fist in anger before sighing. "Yeah, okay fine I won't. But I'm still gonna kick the ball right into his face when playing soccer."

Taehyung giggles as he cuddles into the taller boy. "Yes please."

The blue head sighs and gently traces random patterns on Jungkook's chest, unknowingly soothing the both of them. "I'm just s-scared that he's going to do something." Taehyung sighs. "I think I really pissed him off."

Jungkook shakes his head, "No. As long as I'm here, I won't let him do anything to you."

Taehyung smiles, feeling comforted by his words. Jungkook looks down at him and then pulls him in close, so close that his face gets smooshed against his chest.

Taehyung listens to the boy's rhythmic heartbeat, noticing how fast it was racing. "Your hearts beating so fast," he says with a small giggle.

At this, Jungkook's soft smile drops. He sighs and looks away. "Y-Yeah..."
He looks down at the blue-haired boy, meeting his doe eyes.

"..I know."

-

A/N: I'm literally so nervous while writing these chapters. (I'm nervous cause I'm scared to see your reactions to them)

QOTD: If you have one, what's your favourite chapter or chapters in this book? (I wanna know where I did well so I can do that again)(If you don't remember the chapter just describe the scene)

Anyways, sorry for this long ass chapter, it was kinda boring cause it was mainly on both their pasts but it was an important chapter.

Thank you for reading, I love you.