I left Sharon's office halfway through her still actually talking but she doesn't stop me because she knows she screwed things up by bringing out that photograph. Looking back at old stuff makes me angry and maybe if Sharon knew how to do her fucking job, she'd know that too. It's not as freezing as it was last week and the sun's really low so it's blazing in my face and everyone else's on this godforsaken street. I'm glad though; if they weren't squinting as they walked maybe they'd see me and recognise who I was. 

Since the sun's so low, it's suddenly really hot and wearing my thick hoodie isn't such a great idea but I like this hoodie and I'm not taking it off.

Fuck Sharon. Fuck the fact that she's not helping by trying to help. If she's so smart then she could have figured out already what's wrong with me. My phone buzzes again and I think it's Sharon asking me to come back and finish the session but it's Evelyn. I'm not that angry anymore. 

Evelyn: We had a sub and the class started talking about Jeffery Dahmer instead of doing math

Evelyn: Made me think of you

I grin but try to hide it as I type back.

Ash: I ain't a serial killer

Ash: I'm a regular killer

She's already typing by the time my second text sends.

Evelyn: Same thing

Evelyn: You loony 

Ash: Hey, I have feelings you know :(

Evelyn: B^)

Ash: (ง'̀-'́)ง

And it just carried on like that for five solid minutes until she texted that she had to get to her next class. I put my phone away and start to walk home. I've always used that term loosely since every single house I've been in never really felt like a home. But I've always just used that word anyway because it feels nice to say it and to think it. But when I call Evelyn's house a home, it just feels right. I actually do feel 'at home', even if 50% of that home's residents don't even know I'm there. 

Since Evelyn's at school and her mom's at work, I'm the only one there as usual. I know I can't be there for long though; Evelyn'll be here any time now with her jumpy little friend for their braiding session or whatever and she probably doesn't want me to kill the mood. Kill the mood. Kill the mood. Haha. I'm fucking hilarious. 

The first thing I do is go to the kitchen and stuff a bunch of snacks into a tote bag I found somewhere in the house. It's mostly just a bag of animal crackers and KitKats and three packets of Oreos so to even it out I take two bananas and an apple. Probably not gonna eat them but at least my snack bag looks a little healthier. I sat down on the sofa that Evelyn's mom usually sleeps on when she comes back too late from work and lift my feet onto the coffee table. Might as well watch a few things before I leave. 

All I manage to watch is half an episode of some Spanish telenovela where the wife spends most of it crying over her dead husband and the rest moping around her empty house in a silk night gown and crying over the things she saw that reminded her of him. Pfff, boring. I switch off the TV and get up from my seat, heading out the front door and back into town. I stop a couple of times in the park and finish all the KitKats and half the Oreo packet. Then, I finally run out of ideas of what else to do besides eating and walking around. Since I'm not allowed to kill anyone and I'm guessing from how crowded it's getting with kids that Evelyn's back home from school with Leigh so I'm not allowed there, I have nothing else to do to pass the time. 

I really need a hobby. One that doesn't involve getting convicted. I start making a mental list of all the potential hobbies that I could actually do, analysing them carefully. Baking? No, too much measuring and waiting. Arts and Crafts? Too fiddly, I'll get pissed off too quickly. Sports? Just thinking about all the rules pisses me off already. Reading? Come on, I'm not that desperate for a hobby. I can imagine having a conversation with Sharon about this; this is the kind of thing she'd want to talk about with me. 

I can almost hear her snobbish voice 'Ashely, you should really branch out on your hobbies! It's a great way to keep your mind off of...things.' She's so afraid of saying the word 'murder' it's like it'll give her an allergic reaction or something. My imagination is so good that I can actually clearly hear her voice until I realise it is her voice. I face the direction it was coming from around the shop I had wandered in after getting too bored. Sure enough, it was Sharon talking with some random dude as they picked out a bunch of different. Must have been her fiance. It was weird seeing Sharon outside of her office and outside those freaking pant suits, just in casual clothes. It's like seeing your teacher outside of school, doing normal human things. I try to avoid her at all costs because I know how awkward that conversation would be. But since the universe fucking hates me, obviously she spotted me stood stealthily behind a clothing rack and approached me with her parasite still latched on with their arms together. 

'Funny seeing you here, Ashley.' She flashes a smile which I am sure is 100% fake. 'This is my fiance, Gabriel. The man I was talking about earlier today?' I nod along like I give a damn 'And Gabe, this is my client, Ashley.' I love how she uses the word 'client' instead of 'patient' as if she's sparing me the embarrassment when in actual fact I couldn't give a single shit even if I wanted to. The guy held out his hand, awaiting me to shake his hand. He looked like a life-size Latino Ken doll. Perfect for the life-sized bitchy therapist Barbie doll. I don't shake his hand so he clears his throat awkwardly and takes it away. I can tell Sharon's told him everything there is to know about me already. Patient confidentiality my ass. You really think it isn't part of their daily basis for Sharon to spring on new gossip about every nut case she had to see at work that day? They're probably getting ready to go out and she brings up the depressed loner she has sessions with every Thursday. Or they're having lunch and she tells him how the schizophreniac she saw in her office that day almost lost their marbles. They're probably in getting steamy in the bedroom and she's like 'You know that asshole Ash  I have to see every week? He started crying over a photograph I showed him and left the office before we could finish our session. He's a pathetic little pussy, that one.' I stop imagining it because it gets a bit too graphic and grosses me out especially since the two people are right in front of me right now, waiting for a response, a sound, anything from me.  

'So what are you doing here anyway, Ashley?' She finally asks because she knows from experience that I won't be the one starting the conversation. 

'Duh, I'm buying clothes.' I tell her, rolling my eyes. Her fiance chuckles. I wanna push the shelf of clothes parallel to us over him but Sharon start's speaking again.

'Ash, you're in the women's section.' She giggles. I look down at the racks in front of me and see only blouses and dresses on the hangers.

I furrow my brows 'Who said I was shopping for myself? And even if I was, what's wrong with me shopping in the women's section? I thought you were all about that 'open mindset' and 'changing times' bullshit?' 

'I didn't say there was anything wrong with it, Ashley. I just didn't think it was your style.' She replied defensively but Gabe started laughing.

'I can see why you tell me about him all the time,' he chuckles 'The kid's funny.' See, I knew they talked about me.

'He is an interesting character, isn't he?' She leans against him and they start to walk off 'Anyway, I'm afraid we'll have to be off now, Ash. Gabe's planning to buy me at least 50 new outfits before the shops close down for today,' Gabe grins and shakes his head slowly 'Try and stay out of trouble, okay?' They start to walk down the aisle of clothes, their arms linked again. I thought they'd never leave. But Sharon's bitchy demand did give me an idea. I should really buy a new outfit for Evelyn to wear next Friday. 

Since it's getting warmer for spring, I'm thinking it should be one of those short sleeved dresses. But then I remember she doesn't want to wear that kind of things because then her scars would show. I'll have to figure out how to solve that problem too. 

I'm scanning through a bunch of different tops and dresses, none of them really sparking my interest. I decide to leave that store; if Sharon shops from here then no wonder I'm not finding anything I like. I hop from store to store spending at least half an hour in all of them respectively until I get to the one I'd taken her to a couple of days ago. My cheeks sort of tingle as I glance at the changing room, remembering that kiss. Maybe it was too cramped and needy for a first kiss. I wondered if she felt how pathetic I was feeling. Then I wondered why I was calling it a 'first kiss' like it was ever gonna happen again. It was a one-time thing and we both knew it. She needed it at that moment, to reassure her that she wasn't just some thing that no one cared about. Sometimes I think maybe I needed it more than she did. 

The clerk looks at me struggling through all the different clothes but same bullshit and clears her throat before she speaks 'Do you need any help, sir?' I look at her and she kind of recognises me from the other day for being that guy who begged her to let him into the changing room even if she'd get in trouble. She frowned a bit but then went back to normal 'Is it for that girl you were with?' I nodded. 'Then come with me.' She leads me to a different section, deeper in the store, with a collection of dresses. 'I think she'd look really good in one of these ones,' she handed me a couple of hangers and then went to a different shelf 'and if not, these ones would also suit her.'

'Thanks,' I say, inspecting every single one of them 'And sorry for getting you in trouble the other day.'

'Oh, I didn't get in trouble.' she said, handing me a final article of clothing. I was down to five different dresses and the clerk was helping me choose between them. The first one was a soft lilac colour, with long sleeves and a straight skirt 'This one would really bring out her eyes,' she said, examining it was hard as I was 'But it's far too simple and plain. And if it's a birthday, like you said, then I don't she should wear this.'

'Yeah, it's way too churchy,' I agree, my hand holding my chin like I was thinking things thoroughly, like this was some science experiment.

The second one was a dark blue one, its skirt was a puffy and satin. 'The skirt?' The clerk simply says.

'The skirt.' I nod and she throws the dress on the pile with the rest of them. 

The third one was a pale yellow colour. The sleeves were short and stopped at the top of the shoulder and there were small white beads that lined around the hem of the skirt. 'This one's cute.' I say, holding it in my hands 'This one's really cute.' I repeat, ignoring the other ones she was ready to hand me. 'I want this one.' 

'You sure?' She asks 'There's still two more we could look at.'

'Yeah, I'm so fucking sure,' I grin, staring happily down at the dress. I notice the sleeves and My grin kind of shrinks 'It's just...the sleeves.'

'What about them?' 

'They're too short. My friend doesn't like short sleeves.'

The clerk looks at the dress before smiling 'There are ways to solve that, you know. Come, we'll pick out a cardigan to go with it.' I follow her to another section, one closer to the entrance and she picks out a white cotton cardigan with bead buttons that matched the beads on the dress. 

'My god you're a fucking genius.' I say, taking it from her hand. She giggles and I buy the pair from the counter and start to leave. 

Before I do, she says 'I hope you and your friend have a great time.'

'Oh, we will,' I grin. After buying that outfit, I'm left with nothing to do again. Plus it's getting darker outside now so I must have spent a long time in the mall. I check the time on my phone and just as I do a message pops up. 

Evelyn: Leigh's gone

Evelyn: You can come home now

Home.

(A/N Hey hey hey! New chapter out, hope you enjoyed it! Trying to update this book more frequently now. I have two other upcoming chapter I'm currently still writing and loads more I have yet to write. Hopefully, my updating 'schedule'(lol nope) stays consistent)