Leigh walked home with me so that we could continue working on our project. I tried with all the power I possessed to convince her not to come to my house. Ash didn't know she was coming. And without any warning; I don't know what he's do; I've guessed he's a bit unstable around people. He might just freak out and threaten to kill her like he did with Tyler. The last thing I want is my bedroom being a crime scene.

We had finally arrived at my front door when an idea struck me. 'Leigh?' I tried to do the same sweet voice that she did to persuade people. I opened the door and lead her to the living room. 'Can you give me a second to clear up my room? It's a mess right now and I don't want you seeing that...'

'It's fine, Ev. I won't mind.' She smiles, sitting down on the sofa.

'But I would!' I keep insisting 'I'd feel much better if our work space was much tidier than it is.'

'Well, if it makes you feel better...' She shrugged and I ran up the stairs and opened the door before slamming it again.

'What up.' Ash looks up from his phone screen. He's lying on his back on the width my bed with his legs dangling from the edge onto the floor because they won't fit. They would if he was laying down the right way round on the bed but I think he just wanted his head nearer to the window.

'Ash, you need to hide!' I yell quietly, trying to pull him up but he won't budge.

'What? Why?!' He complains, not wanting to move because he wanted to win the game he was playing on his phone.

'Just hide!' I answer, hoisting him up by the arm 'Leigh's here. We have to do a project. She can't see you!!' I push him off the bed and he falls with a loud thump on the floor. Biting my tongue, I hoped that Leigh hadn't heard that. Ash stood up, rubbing the back of his head, looking this close to losing his shit. But I couldn't afford him to have a lash out with Leigh right below us. I dragged him to my closet with all my clothes, opened the door and pushed him inside.

'The fuc-' he couldn't finish his curse because I had slammed the door of the closet shut.

'Please Ash. Just for a few minutes.' I say so that he could here me behind the door 'Keep very quiet. Don't say anything and don't do anything. Please.' Without waiting for a response from him, I ran down to the living room and called Leigh to my room. She cheerfully walked up the stairs and nearly freaked out when I opened the door.

'OMG, your bedroom is so cute!!' She squeals, holding her fists near her chest and swaying side to side 'Pink is, like, my fave colour!!' She was referring to my wallpaper. I myself am not a huge fan of pink. It just came with the house and we hadn't had the time to change it. Leigh carried on admiring everything she saw 'Those curtains are so nice. I think I have the exact same but in red!' She then walked up to the closet. I gulped. Don't open it, don't open it, I prayed. Fortunately, she walked past it and stopped to check out my bookshelf 'Woah, did you read all of these?!' She asked in amazed way as if reading a book was a huge challenge. I nodded.

After Liegh was done complimenting everything in my room, we sat down on my bed and got out our folders from class. I took my laptop from my desk and started to do some research and write down notes. Leigh is working on what she was going to say for the presentation. It was silent for the next couple of minutes and I wondered if Ash was alright in the closet. He could breathe in there, right? Of course he could. Stupid.

It wasn't long before Leigh began to chat again. That girl can't go five whole minutes without talking.

'So Evelyn,' she began 'Are you excited?'

I shrug, not understand how or why what she said was relevant 'For what?'

'For everything, Ev!' She replied 'Graduation, Prom, all that stuff! By the end of this year, we'd have finished high school! Aren't you at all excited?!'

'Leigh,' I sigh, putting down my pen 'It's barely even January let alone the end of the academic year. That's a long way away.'

'Time can fly by fast,' she quotes, still giggling as I continued to write up my notes still wondering how Ash was doing. We were back to the silence but I knew it wouldn't last. Just as predicted, a few minutes later Leigh had started up another conversation 'So Evelyn,' she started it up the same way as the previous conversation 'Ever had a boyfriend?'

I blush violently. Not because I ever did but because I was too embarrassed to say I didn't. 'That isn't really important, Leigh,' I answer instead.

'Come on!' She pleased 'Please tell me!,' but I did not respond and instead continued with my work 'Fine, you don't have to tell me. But there at least must be someone you like!'

I thought for a moment. It was a personal question, obviously. One that I wasn't so keen on answering. But some kind of feeling made me want to tell her at least something truthful. 'I don't know,
Leigh. There isn't really anyone I like in that way. I'm not saying that I have high standards or anything. I of all people don't even deserve to have standards for other people but... no one's ever appealed to me like that.'

'Not even a celebrity crush?' Leigh sounded disappointed.

'No.' I shake my head gently.

'Oh,' she went back to her work. After another couple of minutes, Leigh said she had to make her way back home so she gathered up all her work and started to leave. 'We'll work on the rest on Friday, okay?' She suggested.

But then I remembered that Ash's birthday was on Friday. We already had plans. 'Sorry Leigh,' I rub the back of my neck 'I'm actually busy on Friday so...'

'Oh. Then how about the weekend or something like that?' She suggested an alternative.

'Okay,' I agree 'Bye,'

'Bye Evelyn,' she reaches out and hugs me which took me by surprise. I could tell that even she was a bit shocked, she didn't expect me to be so small and frail. She let go and stepped out of the house, waving 'See you on Saturday!' And she closed the door behind her. I couldn't read what she had been thinking this whole time but I could tell that she had left, unsatisfied. I frowned; even if she sort of knew I was not so close to her, she still considered me a friend. I guess some people are like that.

I went back up to my room to find that Ash had left from inside the closet and was now sitting cross legged on my bed with his eyebrows furrowed. 'Sorry about that,' I sighed 'I hadn't planned ahead.'

'That's not a good enough excuse to stuff me in a fucking wardrobe for half an hour!' He complained 'I was getting bored in there! You're luck I had my phone with me or I would have just stormed out and slit both your throats...'

I was used to his death threats by now. I knew he didn't have the guts to actually do it. No matter how many times he's claimed that he's murdered before. I sit down on the chair next to my desk. We sat there for the rest of the time without talking to one another. Ash is still angry, I guess. He just needs to calm down.

I'm the first one to speak and what comes out of my mouth stuns us both 'How do you feel when you kill someone?' He looks at me for a second, processing what I had just said.

'Well, I can't really explain it,' he begins. So he's actually answering this? 'It feels, you know, like a weight's been lifted off of me. I feel free, relaxed, like I have no worries. I don't really give a shit about the person, in any other way to put it, they probably deserved to die.'

'Do you just chose someone at random or do you have some kind of way of choosing a victim?'

'I'm not a serial killer. I don't go around selecting a certain person and leaving a message at the crime scene for the police to find like in those mystery novels. I kill who I want, when I want and I don't give a fuck.'

'You don't even feel guilty about it?' I ask suddenly.

'No.' He simply says 'I feel powerful. I feel like nothing can possible get in my way.'

'So you just go around murdering anyone like you don't give a damn?'

'There are some people I don't kill. Geez, I'm not crazy,' he says. Wow, you're right Ash. You are the sanest person I've ever met and the things you do are completely normal. 'What about you? How does it feel like when you hurt yourself?'

I don't reply.

Ashe gets the hint and doesn't ponder me and instead asks 'Does it hurt?'

'Yes. A lot. But I like it,' I answer 'I like the pain.'

'When did you start to...you know...' He gestures the nail of his index finger running across his wrist.

'I guess the first ones that I carved were when I was 15,' I said casually as if it was a normal thing to do 'I think it just began because of the stress of a new school and living up to everyone's expectations but then when that feeling stopped, the cutting didn't. I just got addicted. So it carried on until now.'

'Stress? About school?' He repeated 'That's stupid! Why the heck would you harm yourself over something as fucking stupid as school?'

'I don't know...' I admitted 'I was only 15. I didn't know how else to handle it.'

He stopped asking questions for a second until finally he had said 'It's not true is it? That you don't like anyone?'

'What are you talking about?' I raise an eyebrow, confused.

'You know. What you said to that girl like 15 minutes ago.' He added 'That you weren't really interested in anyone? Did you just tell her that to shut her up or-'

'No, it's true.' I correct 'I'm not that kind of person to be into stuff like that.'

'But that's like human nature! Even I was crushing on someone when I was a kid! You gotta like someone-'

'I don't!' I interrupted him 'I don't like anyone!!'

'...Not even me?...' He suddenly said in a cautious way.

'Of course not!' I scoff because I thought what he had said was supposed to be some kind of joke. But something in his tone changed, I don't know what, but something. He just kept silent.

*****

Ash's POV

The day had started off fine. I got up from my corner of Evelyn's room. She'd obviously gone to school like the nerd she is; even with the hangover, and her mom had already gone to work. So it was just me in the house. I got up from the floor, stretched out a bit because I always get a fucking back ache when I sleep on the floor and then I go downstairs for breakfast. Which usually just consists of three donuts and a slice of that cake. Sharon always sent me morning texts to remind me of my next appointment so the next thing I got as I sat down with a plate full of confectioneries was an annoying message from my therapist pop up on my phone.

Sharon: Remember Session next Friday at 4

Sharon: Show up

That pissed me off for the rest of the morning. When Evelyn's gone, I usually just watch whatever's on TV until she comes back. TV or snooping around her house when she's not there. I recently found a huge leather-bound photo album on a shelf somewhere in the living room and just occupy myself with that. There's a lot of pictures when Evelyn was younger and her parents were still together. After about age 7 or 8 years, they just stop. And I don't know whether it's because the family got too busy to take any more photos or they just didn't care. Either one, it's still kind of disappointing because it just stops halfway through. Like aged 5 she went to the beach for her birthday and at age 6 she spent it in the zoo but then you don't know where she had her 7th birthday because that's where the album ends. Did she even celebrate her 7th birthday? Or maybe she did but they didn't take pictures? I'll never know.

I quickly hid the album and went back upstairs when I heard Evelyn start to walk onto the pathway of the house. There was someone else with her. Was it her boyfriend, I sniggered but remembered she wasn't really the type to be in a relationship. Maybe it wasn't even Evelyn. Maybe it was just to random people that had stumbled drunkly across the street and stood at the front door unknowingly that it wasn't their house.

My doubts soon cleared however, when I heard the door open and heard Evelyn's voice. She was saying something about tidying her room and the person had replied something else. I couldn't really tell from upstairs especially because the door was closed. I was on my phone now, playing some game. Then I heard Evelyn rush up the stairs and storm into the room.

'What up,' I greet her, only looking up once from my phone and then looking back because I really wanted to beat this level. Instead of saying hello or even Hi back, the next thing I know is her trying to pry me off the bed with all her strength.

'Ash, you need to hide!' She screams at me but I saw no reason to. It wasn't like the person downstairs was coming up here.

'What? Why?!' I reply because I really didn't want to move.

Then she says some stuff about some girl called Leigh being here and that she couldn't know that I was here and the she fucking shoved me into the fucking closet of hers. She brings the girl upstairs to her room and then they start to do some random stuff but I don't know what because they aren't really saying anything. Maybe homework. I could tell the girl was one of those really hyper people because the first thing she did when she stepped into the room was scream about every single piece of furniture. After she had calmed down there started to do as I believe was their homework.

Then the girl starts to talk stuff about school. Evelyn doesn't really respond much. Just some monotone one liners with that kind of depressed and irritated voice she has. I was starting to get bored after that had stopped talking and I had nothing to listen to so I just played more games on my phone until the conversation started to get really interesting.

'Ever had a boyfriend?' The girl, Leigh I think her name is, says.

She doesn't reply immediately so I knew the answer she had must be something intriguing but then she just dismissed the idea and carried on doing her work or whatever the hell it was she was doing.

But the other girl did not give up. She asked if there was someone she liked. I sat up straight with my back against the closet wall and I listened carefully, waiting for an answer.

'I don't know, Leigh. There isn't really anyone I like in that way. I'm not saying that I have high standards or anything. I of all people don't even deserve to have standards for other people but... no one's ever appealed to me like that.' She said in a long sigh sort of way.

Oh, I thought. No one. But then I thought maybe it wasn't the truth. I mean, you don't just go around telling people these kind of things and maybe the girl and her weren't really the best of friends. I refused to believe her. She may not have told Leigh the truth but if I asked, maybe she would tell me. I wasn't some bitchy schoolgirl that spread rumors like my life depended on it. Evelyn could trust me, right? She's already told me all this other stuff that probably no one else knows about. And this was just a silly little crush question. She's obviously tell me.

After another ten minutes, the girl decided to leave and Evelyn went down with her to see her off. I took this chance to get out of the closet and sit myself down back on the bed. As pissed off as I was, I couldn't stay that angry at her.

'Sorry about that. I hadn't planned ahead.' She apologized.

'That's not a good enough excuse to stuff me in a fucking wardrobe for half an hour! I was getting bored in there! You're lucky I had my phone with me or I would have just stormed out and slit both your throats...' I ranted a t her and she just took it all in. Then we both fell silent. Content.

Then...

'How do you feel when you kill someone?' She blurts out as if it was involuntary or she was just thinking. How does it feel? I repeated the question in my head. It was difficult to answer but I'm that type of person that will reply no matter what. So I spend at least two whole minutes thinking up a response. It was a blunt and straightforward answer and it did not satisfy her. 'Do you just chose someone at random or do you have some kind of way of choosing a victim?' She had then asked.

No. I don't have a specialised list of who I would target next. Whatever made me feel better, I did. And that was more or less the answer I had given for her second question. This was easy because all I had to tell her was the truth. You wouldn't ever find me telling this stuff to Sharon. I don't trust her; I know what she'll use it for. She'll write all this down in her folder and then diagnose me with some weird shit, stuff pills down my throat and then send me to a madhouse. I am not mad. I am not mad. I am not mad.

No matter how many times I need to tell her that, she won't listen. Neither will Darla. Even if she is my lawyer. She doesn't care what I need to say. Nobody cares. It's only me. I'm the only one that will listen. Me.

'You don't even feel guilty about it?' She inquired, a little shocked with my new response. Never. I never feel guilty. People have to die someday so I'm just making it easier for them. My killings are always quick and painless. I don't torture beforehand. It only wastes time is what I think. I just get it over with. No gruesome weapons or insane mutilation. Just a knock on the head, a sharp sensation and then complete darkness.

'What about you? How does it feel like when you hurt yourself?' It was my turn to ask the questions. But instead of answering me, she stayed silent. She wasn't as open to me as I was to her. So I just ask the obvious to change the subject. 'Does it hurt?'

'Yes. A lot. But I like it. I like the pain.'

Okay... Kind of weird but who was I to judge. I asked her when she started and she said about three years ago. Because of stress and school. Now that is just really weird. So I tell her my opinion and it kind of hurts her but I say it anyway because after all, it was my opinion.

I don't know...' I was only 15. I didn't know how else to handle it.' She seemed pretty sad about it so I changed the subject.

'It's not true, is it? That you don't like anyone?....' I say kind of nervously because I don't know how she would react. She kind of cocks her eyebrow at me as if she doesn't understand what I said and answers with a 'What are you talking about?'

'You know. What you said to that girl like 15 minutes ago. That you weren't really interested in anyone? Did you just tell her that to shut her up or-'

'No, it's true.' She cuts me off. Rude. 'I'm not that kind of person to be into stuff like that.' What? Everyone's got to love something! That's how it works! That's how everything works!

So I tell her 'But that's like human nature! Even I was crushing on someone when I was a kid! You gotta like someone-'

'I don't! I don't like anyone!!'

Silence.

'...Not even me?...' I finally say.

'Of course not!' She tells me in a kind of way as if type say 'Wow, Ashe, you are so dumb! How could you even think that?!' And it hurt. It really did. For the first time in ages it actually stung to near someone say something like that. Of course, I didn't comment on it or anything. I don't want her thinking anything about it. What am I even thinking about this?! Why the fuck should I even care?!

'Anyway...' I say to break this one sided tension between us 'I was planning some stuff for my birthday. Is your mom okay for us going to the beach yet?'

'Yeah,' she agreed 'I told her that I was going with Leigh somewhere.'

'Alright. I'll pick you up afterschool?'

'Okay.' Evelyn nodded, getting up from her seat because her mom had just arrived downstairs 'I better go down now. We wouldn't want mom coming up here and seeing you.' She leaves the room, closing the door behind her and for once, the emptiness I felt without her or anyone for that matter sucked.

(A/N Sorry guys, I have honestly been so busy. Hope this extra long chapter makes up for my inactivity! Please comment and vote!! And a happy belated Valentine's day to all!!)