He stirred slightly in the shared bed, making me stop sniffling. I tried to subdue tears that started rolling on my face. I scoot closer to the edge of the bed, sitting up once I'm there. 

I feel a soft hand gripping my arm. I turn to see Karkat looking at me with bleary eyes and a sleepy smile his face.

"Y/n, what's up?" He asks in a raspy and for-once quiet voice. He blinked a few more times, him looking absolutely adorable, but I couldn't focus on that right now. 

"Go back to sleep, Karkitty," I say in a cracking voice. Fuck, I hate this. His ears perked at the voice crack, thatches when I'm in a bad mood. He sits up in the bed. 

"What's wrong, love?" He sits next to me and attempts to wrap his arms around my shoulders, but I shuffle away from him.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want to be touched." I say once I see his face; hurt, confusion. "I don't know why, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, you don't need to be." 

I don't know why, but tears started dribbling back down my cheeks. My throat clenched and my hands tightened around the sheet that we were sitting on.

Karkat was still sitting close to me, but not touching me. His shadow in the moon and starlight loomed above me, and I felt like curling up and becoming smaller. I resist the urge.

Instead I let loose a choked sob I've been trying to keep down, and I stop trying to be strong around Karkat. I want him to hug me, to hold me, but I felt like I had to be strong form, for everyone. 

When we were in the game, I was co-leaderfor the humans. I saw John and Jade die, I saw Rose topple and Dave collapse. I saw Karkat die and kept straight faces. I felt the weight of the deaths on me, I felt everyone relying on me to make situations better.

Now, I can't even get myself back up.

"Hey," I heard him say in a soft, delicate voice. I felt his hand on my cheek, brushing away tears. I look at him, his face kinder than what people think. "Come here."

I curl up in his lap, my head in his shoulder and soaking through his night shirt. He runs his hands through my hair, a soothing gesture, and lightly paps me. 

We sit there till I'm run dry for tears.

"Thank you," I murmur. "I'm sorry I'm like this."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He kisses my temple and checks the clock over my back.

"We should probably back to sleep." I nod and get backorder the covers, same with Karkat. He faces me and kisses me on the forehead before wrapping his arms around me tightly. I can feel his heartbeat going on the normal rate it's supposed to go, and I try to relax.

We stay close of the rest of the night, his breath slowing and mine matching his as we face each other, always knowing we'll have each other.