TW:Suicide

I rock slightly to the music blaring from my speaker. It's all i could do, there's no point to anything anymore. I hate this stupid game, I hate this stupid planet, everything is so stupid, stupid, stupid! I wipe off the tears that have leaked onto my face. "TEREZI." I hear Karkat say through my door. "WH4T D0 Y0U W4NT?" I yell back. "YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF THAT ROOM SOME TIME, PLEASE, IT FUCKING HURTS THAT YOU'RE SHUTTING US OUT." I shake my head and curl up smaller on the human bed. "L34V3 M3 4L0N3!" "NO." "K4RK4T, FUCK 0FF!" "NO, GET OUT OF YOUR FUCKING ROOM! THIS ISN'T WHAT Y/N WOULD'VE WANTED." My ears bristle at her name, her beautiful name. I couldn't even see her and I knew she was a pretty human. I wanted her to be my matesprit, but of course this stupid fucking game thought she should die! I rush over to my door and open it, Karkat yelping from the suddenness. "WH4T D0 Y0U KN0W?" I sneer. "SH3'S D34D. SH3 D03SN'T KN0W M3, SH3 D1DN'T KN0W M3 WH3N SH3 D1ED, AND SH3'LL N3V3R FUCK1NG KN0W TH4T 1-" My words get choke back by a sob. I fall back onto the floor and cry harder. Karkat's arms wrapped around me. "THAT'S NOT TRUE." He said. "SHE KNEW YOU, SHE LOVED YOU IN HUMAN TERMS." I shake my head and try to get out of his grip. "N0, SH3 D1DN'T." "OH YEAH?" I ned my head and he takes me by that hand. "COME WITH ME." I grip his hand tight and stand up. He leads me to another room and I sniff the air for something recognizable. Only the smell of film and dust invaded this room. "SHE MADE YOU THIS."  I felt something go over my eyes and I blink once. I can see the room! It. It was Y/n's room. "WH4T TH3 4CTU4L FUCK K4R!" I yell. "1 D0N'T W4NT  T0 B3 H3R3, 0UT 0F 4LL R00MS!" He shook his head and pointed at the walls. I look at them, the goggles not being able to hold my tears. Or my shock.

The walls were covered in pictures of me. Not in the creepy way, but just ones of my smiling and laughing. There were a few where Karkat had roped me into a selfie with Y/n. We both were blushing and smiling giant grins. There was one where we were both asleep, curled up with each other. I didn't know when that happened, but she looked so peaceful lying with me. I felt more tears leak out and I hug Karkat. "SHE WAS TOO SCARE TO TELL YOU." Karkat murmured. "SHE DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW HOW TO SAY ANYTHING TO YOU." I look back at the pictures and I noticed one in particular. I pick it up and wipe off the dust clinging to it. It was Y/n smiling in the midst of flower petals, I think they were cherry blossoms. Her eyes were sparkling and her smile was so pretty. Her hair was messy, as if she rolled around in the flowers first. I clench my hand and slide the photo into my pocket. "I W4NT T0 G0 B4CK T0 MY R00M." "WAIT, TEREZI-" "K4RK4T, D0N'T FUCK1NG 4RGU3. 1'M G01NG B4CK T0 MY R00M." He sighs but leads me back. I look only at the ground, at my red shoes, and at Karkat's black shoes. I open the door to my room and thank Karkat. I hug him once more and he hugs back tightly. "WHAT DID I TELL YOU? SHE LOVED YOU." I nod and close the door after his statement. I look around the room to find scalemates and rope. Perfect. I pull over my chair from my desk, my husktop dinging from notifications I refuse to answer. I carefully tie the rope into a noose, like so many times before with the scalemates. I throw the rope around a hook in my room so that the noose could hang, and I slip my head inside of it. The chair held me up fine, but I kick it away. My throat burns and I cough before I start spastically try to drop. I cough once more and smile. I'm coming, Y/n.