**I went to this thing called Camp Happy, where a bunch of my theater friends play music and bands made by students play. I messed up. I tried to sing a song and I felt so much fear and my legs started shaking, which made my voice crack, which made everyone whisper because everyone knew what I missed because music and broadway shows are their life. I left five hours earlier than I thought I would, I was so embarrassed (6:00. I thought I'd last till 11:00). I didn't even say goodbye to anyone, I mean, what was the point? They had other friends, they don't ever need me.

My biggest problem? I was jealous of my best friend. She's the perfect girl in everybody's eyes with blonde hair and blue eyes and flawless makeup and the latest look and a perfect singing voice.

I was the singing friend when we grew up! The reason I was special, was because of my voice! And I feel like she took that away from me because of how fucking good she is! I felt like I had nothing left. I still feel that. I don't think I'm going to Camp Happy anymore. Too bad. This was my first year and I felt like shit for most of the time. That was my own fault.

Based on animation shown above.**

"Look at all of t)(em!" She squealed. A flurry of rainbows was swirling in the tank by us. Feferi smiles at me, her sharp teeth glimmering. I smile shyly back.

"T)(ey are so pretty, I want to )(ug every single fishy," She cooes. I look up at the fishes of vibrant color that were bringing my friend- girlfriend joy. "L--Et's get a p)(oto wit)( t)(em, please Y/n?" 

I go rigid. It wasn't the fact that it was a place where I can be comfortable around Feferi, but I never got over the fear of being in public with my girlfriend. I mean, we're both female. It's still pretty odd to see two girls dating, even if it is 2018.

"Ma'am, could you please take a p)(oto of us?" 

"Of course, dear."

Feferi smiles into the camera, her arm going around my waist. I shift a little, making the arm fall from my side. Her smile fell a little. 

"Say cheese!" I smile as best as I can. Not enough to make a happy memory.

"T)(ank you!" Feferi looks away from her waterproof phone. Her face looked disheartened and I hate it that I made it like that, but I'm not comfortable yet.

"W)(at was t)(at?" She asks in a sad and low voice. 

"What was what?" I feign innocence. She sighs, frustrated. She goes to sit on a bench that I curle up on, gripping my knees tightly.

"S)(oving me away." 

"I wasn't shoving you away-"

"Y/n, stop saying t)(at! We're a couple, isn't t)(is w)(at matesprites do on Eart)(?"

I feel my face drain from exhaustion and a hint of panic.

"Be quiet-"

"no, I won't be quiet, t)(is is t)(e problem!" Her voice was getting angrier, and all I could do was shrink in on myself. 

"There is no problem, you know that I love you, I don't know why other people need to see it as well," I say, my voice reaching a little with a slight tremor.

"I'm not asking you to wave a pride flag or making out wit)( me in )(ere, but I'm telling you take small steps!" She almost shouts. 

It's almost as if the tanks went dark. I felt tears start building up in my eyes, even though I didn't ask for them nor wanted them. I look away from her and try to discreetly brush them away. The lump in my throat tells me that there's more to come.

"I'm trying," I say, my voice croaking out. "But those steps are bigger to me." I look at the darkened tank, the fish rainbow dissipated. It looks like the tank is empty, but it holds so much. I see her grey skin in the reflection. 

"I just wanted us to seem normal."

"I know you did, Feferi. I don't know when we can take a picture like you want."

"I want is so ta)(at you're comfortable wit)( t)(is."

"With you, it's the most normal I feel." 

She places a hand onto my shoulder and sits beside me. 

"I'll wait for t)(at time t)(en."

Feferi puts her arm around my shoulders and I lean onto her, looking at the fish that seemed to come back. She smiles at them and I smile because we're happy once more.

I don't know when I can take a perfect picture, but I'm willing to take the big step.

For her.