**Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. I've been ridiculously busy, and I wish I could say I am happy with it. Figured out that I have to see a therapist about my anxiety again, even though I have play practice, eight classes, and am the graphic designer for the drama booster at school. I don't know how I'm doing it, but I am.

I need to write more often, I know, but my college class is taking up all free time that isn't taken up by other study time and play rehearsal.

Hope you guys enjoy, because I don't think there will be an update for a while. Bye.**

 I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do about anything.

It's almost like a mantra in my head, a song in my heart, and a problem for myself. I haven't felt like this for a very long time, and I wasn't planning on having this awful feeling ever again. I hate it so much, why can't it all go away?

Stupid Eridan. Stupid heart. Stupid love.

I glare at the clock, ticking away at the time, waiting for the day to end. Eridan was supposed to meet with me about some chemistry homework he needed help with, but I have to cancel. I've been having this feeling of butterflies and warm faces. I have the urge to hug him and be with him constantly, and I hate it all! I text him, my hands going rapid to make the text send and be unnoticed by the teacher. I look down to proofread.

"Hey Eri! I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cancel today, I have too much homework going on and I feel sick :(. Sorry."

No no no, he'll know it's fake if I have both reasons. But I also know that he'll still come over if I'm sick or have too much homework because he can't get sick like a human, and he's smart.

Fuck my life.

I put my phone away and wait for the bell, which should happen in about two minutes. I pack up my binder and pencils, ready to get out of here as soon as possible.

The bell ringing is the worst but best noise in the world. It lets us out of school, but it also grates on our ears like we skidded on concrete. I get out the suffocating class and get a fresh breath of air right before I saw the violetblood waving at me. 

"Y/n, ovver here," He calls. "I got the car today!"

I slide through the crowd, making my way to the lightning-horned alien with a grin on his face and car keys in his left hand. I brush away the butterflies that are invading and pinch my cheeks to stop becoming red from feelings. He smiles at me then takes my bag. Gentlemanly of him, but also it looks like we're dating. Get that damn thought out of your head, Y/n!

"Hey, you feelin' alright?" He questions. "You're spacin' more than usual."

"I'm fine, Eridan," I say in a bit of a flat voice. "I'm just tired."

He takes my response, but not before a suspicious look. I hop into the passenger's seat of the violet convertible, the engine barely revving. I roll down the window and look out to the road ahead of us. It isn't a far away drive to his house, I just fell like everything is going too slowly, except for when I talk or when he stops to smile. I hate this, my cheeks feel warm and I know for certain pink is shining.

I take out my backpack and we head up to his room to study. We take out our textbooks with drawings of dicks and weird faces, preparing for the memorization ahead of us. A silence is suffocating us, but I try to ignore it. I mean, what else am I supposed to do? Confront my feelings or something?

"Y/n," Eridan pipes up. "I wwas wwondering if you'd like to stop studyin' for a feww hours." 

Tempting. But what would that entail? I vocalize the question, and he thinks about it. His eyes went somewhere far away and he was spacing out a little.

"Howw about dowwntowwn?" He asks. "Wwe can get coffee or somefin."

I nod. I wouldn't be opposed to that. We close our text books, he grabs his cape ("it's FASHION, my dear Y/n."), and I grab my sweater. The air was getting cold, and I don't feel like getting sick.

A quaint little coffee shop was open and bustling, tons of high schoolers, college kids, and tired adults getting pastries and coffee. I fidget as we go in, it seems to crowded and crowds are not fun. We order then sit at a two-person table, looking outside. The sun wasn't setting yet, but the weather is getting colder, the curse of September. I sip on my hot drink, Eridan getting a black tea and I getting a f/d.

I look over at him, zoning out for a moment. He kept looking in the distance, for wht, I don't know.

"Y/n?"

"Yes?"

I wait in anticipation. I don't know why, but my face grows warm and my stomach churns. I tap my foot out of anxiety as he takes his time.

"Wwhy havven't you gotten a boyfriend?"

I roll my eyes and the stomach churning goes way, along with the blushing cheeks.

"I don't know, I guess I just haven't liked anyone," I say in an obviously sulky tone. He notices. Fuck.

"Wwhat's wwrong?" He says in a slightly playful voice. "You like someone, don't you?"

"I wish I didn't," I complain. "I just can't get him out of my stupid head."

"Wwoww, you're wwhipped for him, huh?" He says, stirring his tea, not looking at my face. I shake my head, probably looking like a bobble head toy.

"No, I'm not. I just like him."

"Stop kidding yourself, wwhen you wwere blushing you wwere thinking of him, huh?"

"Well, yeah." I run my hand through my hair, my frustration clear to anyone around us. "I just don't want to ruin the friendship I have with him." 

"Just do it, Y/n!" He looks at me with a false smile. "You'll finally havve someone."

"That's kind of difficult when he's right in front of me." Well, aren't I a smooth motherfucker?

His face instantly erupts in violet and smiles, making my own face turn pink.

"Well? Would you like to be my boyfriend?" I ask, a bit shyly.

He nods like an energetic puppy and reaches across the table to hold my hand. He squeezes it tight and we watch as the sun dips below the town and stars appear in the sky.

I finally went for the leap.

Thank god it worked out for once.