**Fuck, I don't know how to make this romantic. I tried? Y/b/n= your boy name. Also, mention of pineapple on pizza; Yay or nay? I'm allergic to pineapple, so I can't answer.**

"What do you want from me?" I spit out. Blood was leaking out of my nose and theses weird aliens looked at me in disgust. Well, fuck you, you made me bleed! "Lowblood shit." I heard one mumble to another. I spit blood at them. My arms are chained up and I was facing a great, gold throne with what I think is their queen sitting upon it. I don't know, whatever the aliens call her. She had yards of hair and a fuchsia lipstick style. "W)(ale, w)(ale, W)(al--E." She smirked at me and I frown at her. "Looks like we fin-ally got a )(uman, isn't that rig)(t Y/b/n d--Ear?" She smirked at me. 'Yeah you did, not let me go back the fuck home!" I yell. "Fuck this castle, fuck this throne room, and fuck you!" The aliens gasped and murmured amongst themselves. "Don't MOTHERFUCKIN say that to the MOTHERFUCKIN CONDESCE." A tall, beefy troll came up to me and looked ready to murder me. I roll my eyes, playing my fear off. "What, are you her fuckbuddy or something?" The guy roared, but the Condesce silenced him with a wave of her perfectly manicured hand. "Leave )(im be, G)(B." I glare at the apparent GHB and he glowers back. "Send Y/b/n to one of t)(e guest rooms. Preferably near mine." Condesce smirked and I get dragged away. Oh boy, what's in store for me?

I sit at a desk they had in the guest room. The guest room was coral and seashell themed, with an aquarium of cuttlefish. I hear the door open, but I make sure my back is turned. "You )(ave some guts, bouy." The voice of the queen rang through the room. "Nobubbly stands up to G)(B and lives." "I don't care, just take me back home," I mumbled, fiddling with my hands. "I don't know why you even want me here." "Isn't it obvious?" She sneered. I could already see her face, her eyes narrowed and lips pulled in a frown. I barely knew this woman for a day and already I can see her in my head. "No it isn't!" I say, turning around. Her arms were crossed and her hair surrounded her like a cape. I go towards her threateningly. "How would I know what a spoiled, bitchy alien queen would want with me? Why don't you tell me, Condy?" She and went close. "I want ---EV---ERYTHING. Tell me aboat )(umans." "Why do you even want to know?" I sneer. "To take over the planet so you can make more slaves?" She smirked and tapped my nose. "I )(ave a smart bouy )(ere!" She walked away, exiting the room. "Start talking tomorrow and maybe I won't set t)(e s)(arks on you." The door closed and the lights in the room dimmed, the aquarium lights cast shadows on the walls. I grumble and walk over to the bed. Might as well wait for death.

We glared at each other in an awkward silence. Even her stupid clown guards could feel the tension. ")(ow do your species-" "None of your business." "Oh guppy, you best let me fin-ish my cod-damned sentence!" She said in a fake sweet voice. "We get t)(is over wit)(, and you can go to your )(ome." I cross my arms and the chains rattle. ")(ow do---ES your species deal wit)( only two quadrants?" I raise my eyebrow. "You know, love and )(ate in your stupid words." "We just do. There's nothing else for romance." I scratch the back of my neck and sigh. "Either they like you or they don't." The queen looked at me confused. "What, you got everything you ever wanted, eh Condy?" I smirk. "You probably never been dumped." She stands up and the guards lead me back to my room. 

Apparently I wasn't listening as well as I thought, because I could have sworn I heard "I'll make sure you never get dumped again." Must have been my imagination.

"Condy, I've been over this." I roll my eyes. "I know, I know, but )(ow can you )(umans eat PIN---EAPPL---E on pizza?" "It's good!" "You weird fuck." I roll my eyes once more and cross my arms. Over the last few weeks, months, Condy's gotten sweeter. She made sure that I was well-kept for a prisoner and the chains from earlier are gone. I have to admit, I have grown sweet on her too. I know, Stockholm Syndrome, but if it's fine for a beautiful princess in Disney, it's fine for a motherfuckin alien-abucted boy. While Condy cringed I laughed. She smiled and stood up, ending our session of learning each other's species. I start to walk off with the regular guards when she came up to me, applying her lipstick on already colored lips. The guards tensed and went closer to me as well, as if they expect me to fight the 'Heiress'. She comes close and grabs me by my tee shirt, startling me. I felt plastic on my lips and then I realized; it's her damned lipstick. I kiss back and she separates from me quickly. The guards are stunned and I must look like a mess in front of her. My eyes were wide, I bet I had lipstick on my lips, and I also bet I was blushing like the apparent lowbloods on this planet. "Y/b/n, let's talk again tomorrow, yea)(?" She smirks and walks off. I stand stunned until the guards drag me away. "What the actual fuck." I whisper to myself. Once I'm back in my room, I wipe off the lipstick and grin. 

Call me crazy, but I like the Condesce.