A/N: Pizza delivery au. It's Valentine's Day in-series.
More palerom than anything.
Dirk is 16, Karkat is 13.
I've been trying to write this for weeks now but screw it I'mma just post it
----------------------------------------------

The rain was pouring outside by the time Dirk made it to his last stop.

He parked his truck in front of the house and looked over at the three boxes of pizzas--he'd assumed someone had ordered them for a Valentine's party, but there were no cars in front of the tiny, one-floor house. He rechecked the address, but nope, that was the right house.

He slid the boxes into a large bag to keep them from getting wet, then stepped out of his truck.

He briskly walked to the door and knocked.

No answer.

He had to knock again before there was a faint, "HOLD THE F*** UP, I'M COMING".

The door opened, and all he saw was a kitchen and dining room until he looked down to see an albino kid by the door, about 5 feet tall. The dark circles under his eyes made him look exhausted, and one of his eyes was bruised and swollen. Dirk was reminded of another beaten-up kid with red eyes, and he couldn't help but grimace slightly.

His first thought was to ask, "Are you okay?"

The kid looked him up and down, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. "Why the pants sh*tting f*** do you want to know? And how the f*** is that any of your damn business? Do I know you?"

Dirk frowned at his volume--did the kid have to constantly raise his voice and swear at people just to get heard?

"No, but it looks like someone's left their kid alone to order food for themselves."

"Maybe they're running errands. How would you know? Again, why do you care?"

Because Bro was always leaving them on their own.
Leaving them all alone for days, with nothing but bandages to hide their bruises, all just so that he could go buy more beer.
Just to get drunk off his @$$ and beat them all over again.

"Let's just say it reminds me of a kid I once knew." Dirk said simply. "No-one should have to have lived like he did."

"Why, what happened to him?" the boy asked, folding his arms and trying to look irritable, despite the curiosity in his voice.

"He showed up to the pizza delivery man with black eyes and stolen money, and he had to order boxes and boxes of pizza for him and his lil bro so they didn't starve."

The boy's expression softened. "Oh.
...Is he okay? Not that I care," he added hastily.

"He's standing in front of you now, isn't he?"

There was a pause, then the boy admitted, "...I don't have food, either. My older brother's depressed and hasn't talked to me or gone to the store in weeks."

"Is it okay if I ask what happened?"

"His boyfriend left him. The fact that it's Valentine's Day is just f***ing him up even more."

Dirk nodded softly, then pointed to the kid's eye. "He didn't do that to you, did he?"

He shook his head. "No. That's from school." he said, his voice sounding more hoarse than before.

"Again, are you okay?"

The boy looked at the ground, shuffling his feet. "I'm fine. I'm just hungry."

"It's $15 for the pizza, then."

The kid looked at him for a second, then leaned to the side so he could look at something behind Dirk.

He shifted his feet around again, asking, "Is there thunder outside?"

"It's not that bad, but yes, there is."

As if to prove his point, there was another long rumble of thunder, and the kid jumped.

Dirk raised an eyebrow. "Did that startle you, or is there sonething else?"

His untrusting stare returned, and he asked instead, "You're a teenager, right?"

Dirk nodded. "Sixteen."

The boy looked over his shoulder, biting his lip. After a second, he stepped aside and nodded torwards the dining room.
"You can come in until the rain stops."

Dirk nodded back and walked inside, scraping his boots off on the welcome mat before moving into the dark living room.

He set the pizza onto the table as the boy disappeared into the hallway, calling, "Ignore the sh*tty decorations!"

Dirk didn't listen and looked around, seeing a multitude of motivational wall art and wood letters, with messages such as "appreciate everything" and "do something your future self will thank you for". He decided not to ask. He also decided not to question why none of the lights were on, or why all the blinds were closed, though he guessed it must've been because the albino's eyes were sensitive.

The kid came back after a few seconds and handed him the money.

Dirk thanked him and put the money in his pocket for the time being, and after that there was silence.

"So what's your name?"

"Karkat. And you?"

"Dirk Strider."

Karkat sighed. "Strider as in 'the older brother of that one kid who always hangs out with the crows and pretends to be cool even though he's a complete and utter f***ing dork'?"

"Other than the part about being a dork, yes. I'm Dave's older bro."

Karkat scratched at his neck, then mumbled, "I always thought he was bullied, too. But it wasn't the other kids, was it?"

"If it was just a bunch of kids, I could've protected him sooner." Dirk agreed solemnly.

There was a silence before Karkat said,
"...I know I don't know anything about you, but I don't think you could've done anything."

"I could've. But I appreciate the thought." he changed the subject, asking, "So is there anything I can do to help you with your situation?"

"I seriously doubt it." Karkat replied, opening one of the boxes and taking out a slice of pizza. "I think he needs to talk to someone. Professionally. I don't know how to get someone, though."

"Do you have parents?"

"They're always travelling for work. They have no idea what the f*** goes on in our lives. Not that we do much, anyway." he grumbled.

Another clap of thunder resounded throughout the street, and Karkat dropped his pizza slice. "F**K!"

"You are afraid of thunder, aren't you?" Dirk asked calmly. Karkat looked away, and he added, "There's nothing to be ashamed of."

A pause.

Then, he mumbled, "It's loud. It's loud and I don't trust the lightning rods."

"Being forced to have no control over something is admittedly somewhat unnerving," Dirk agreed.

"Somewhat unnerving?"

"Maybe outright unnerving, then. It depends on the situation."

Karkat rolled his eyes and deadpanned, "Are you talking about yourself or are you agreeing with me?"

"That's up to your interpretation."

"What the crotch-blistering f*** is that supposed to mean? You can't just f***ing sell out and say"--he adopted a whiny, nasally voice--"'oh, well, I'm going to keep spewing sh** about some vaguely personal issues that no-one needs to know about, and then vehemently refuse to clarify what the actual hell I meant by all that'."

"Was that supposed to be my voice?" Dirk asked blankly.

"Were you or were you not paying attention to a single word I said?"

"Of course. You made up another insult, then mocked my side of the conversation in a pitch that I don't think I can physically reach."

"And that's all you got out of that?"

"Well, excuse me, princess, would you like a 500 word essay on your little rant? 1000? Name the word count, and I'll start typing." Dirk teased.

"Typing with what? Your phone?" Karkat snorted.

"I have my ways." he smirked.

Karkat stared at him in disbelief, before exclaiming, "See? There you f***ing go again with the random bullsh** vagueness. That's not even f***ing necessary! What the actual f***!"

"You know what else isn't necessary?" He paused for a good 3 seconds, then said, "Your language."

Karkat groaned exaggeratedly loudly and facepalmed. "Holy sh**, don't do that...!"

"Do what?"

"The oversensitive, overcritical bullsh**. What are you, a f***ing nun?"

Dirk raised his eyebrows and asked, "How'd you find out?" He twisted to look behind him, then asked, "Did you find my ruler? Or maybe I dropped a bar of soap."

"A ruler?" he repeated, sounding more tired than he actually looked.

"So I can smack your hands if you keep cussing like a sailor."

"This is why--"

Another pang of thunder crackled outside, and Karkat winced. He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his ams around them, and a couple seconds later, mumbled, "...why nuns are exclusively old ladies."

"Would you like a blanket, Brother Karkat?"

"What? No. Why?" he asked rapidly.

"I assume you would just yell at me if I told you it was because of the thunder?"

"Wow, you're right for once! Holy sh**!"

"Then you look cold, so you should probably sit on the couch."

The thunder kept increasing in volume until he could feel the sound in his chest, and Karkat made a distictly unmasculine sound, hiding his face in his arms.

"It's really f***ing loud, that was really f***ing loud--"

"Where's the safest place in your house?" Dirk interrupted, frowning.

"Why?"

"If you can find somewhere you feel safe, then that should calm you down."

"I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm--"

"You clearly don't feel okay, and being in here doesn't seem to help. Again, where do you feel safe?"

"You're going to laugh."

"I won't."

"No, y--sh**sh**sh**--" he swore as there was another rumble of thunder. "You know what, f*** this, I'm going into the closet."

Dirk decided to keep his comments to himself, and he nodded. "Do you want me to stay in here?"

"Well, isn't this a wonderful set of choices! I could leave the pizza delivery man in my living room, or we could have some fun, quality closet time together! Gogdamn, isn't this just f***ing peachy?"

"Quality closet time?" Dirk asked, raising an eyebrow.

Karkat stood up and grabbed the pizza box, though his hand was shaking. "Shut up. Follow me."

"Kinky."

"I will choke you to death with my bare hands."

"If you're going to kill me in a closet, could you at least choke me to death with some pizza for maximum irony potential?"

Karkat glanced at one of the other doors in the hallway before moving to the opposite room, peeking inside for a second and then leaving the door fully open.

"This is my room. Touch anything other than the carpet, and I will murder you." he grumbled, tiptoeing around discarded laundry, books, and stacks of movies.

"Ooh, how spooky. I hope the hero of my respective cheesy horror flick will save me. Maybe that guy." he commented, pointing to one of the romcom posters on the wall.

"Get away from my TFIOS poster." Karkat snapped.

"Alright, alright." Dirk paused, then said, "Maybe 'go away' can be our 'alwa--'"

"Don't."

He opened the closet door, still cringing at the noises outside and somehow managing to look as pale as his hair.

Dirk took one look at the mess of his closet and asked, "How do you fit in here?"

"Is that a joke about my height?"

"You'll get taller someday."

"I'm shutting the doors...!" Karkat warned, swinging one of them shut.

"I can see that."

"Oh look, the other door is magically shutting itself, too! What do you know?"

"Aw, he's already bribing me to join him in the closet. How sweet."

"Oh, sh**, the doors are closed! I wonder how that happened." Karkat yelled from behind said closed doors.

Dirk sat with his back to the closet and commented, "I can always sing Frozen songs at you."

There was dramatic thunder, which normally would've been hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that there was a thud against the wall. Dirk whipped to look back and the doors again and asked,

"What was that?"

"I instictively hit things whenever someone mentions Frozen."

His voice sounded smaller than before, but Dirk decided to let it go, seeing how pointing out his fear clearly wasn't helping. He felt a stab of something--empathy? Pity? No, not pity. Protectiveness? Whatever it was, it was ridiculous--he'd just met the kid, and just because he reminded him of...of the past...that didn't mean that Dirk should suddenly get involved in some stranger's life. It was stupid, he was just the pizza guy.

"Hey...@$$hat, are you there?"

"I'm here."

"You got quiet all of a sudden."

"I was thinking."

A pause.

Then Karkat asked, "Do you have a lot to think about, or are you just that self absorbed?"

Damn, okay.

"I'd say it's a good amount of both." he said. Then, considerably less serious, "Why, do you miss me already?"

"Oh, yes, I do." The albino retorted, his voice containing more sarcasm than any 13 year old should ever be able to muster. "My maiden heart can't handle a single second of golden silence, because all I want is to be serenaded by your beautiful, relaxing voice, 24/7."

"Well, how could I refuse a charming, kind soul such as yourself? However, I'm afraid your maiden ears will have to wait several more agonizing seconds while I pull up some opera lyrics."

"Opera?!" he screeched.

"Opera for the young lady."

"I'm not a lady!"

"Opera for the bocchan."

"What the f--"

Karkat was drowned out as there was another long rumble of thunder around them.

There was another silence, then Dirk asked, "Would you prefer me to give you a distraction, or silent company?"

"Is there another option that doesn't include being anywhere near a certain creep?"

"You shouldn't insult the people who handle your food." Dirk teased.

"Holy sh**, get out."

"I'm already out of the closet."

"Then get back in."

"Distraction it is."

Dirk opened the door, set aside a few sweaters, then sat down on the small clearing, ducking underneath the clothes on hangars.

Karkat shut the door, asking, "Did you bring a blanket?"

"I figured you would just 'serenade' my ears with your original insults, given that you wouldn't want me to intrude."

"Oh." he said shortly. "That's probably true."

"Mmhmm." Dirk nodded. "So is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

"So...you said you'd been in a similar situation, right?"

"Yes, I have."

He decided to force the memories out of his mind and concentrate on whatever Karkat was asking instead.

He could practically feel the thoughts creeping up on him--

"I know I said he needs to talk to someone, but...how can I help my brother?"

"How long has he been depressed?"

The kid snorted. "F*** if I know. Probably years--definitely before they broke up."

"I take it you haven't really talked to him about it?" Dirk asked.

He couldn't really tell in the dark, but it looked like Karkat's frown deepened.
"No."

"Then I recommend just sitting down and asking him what's really going on. Maybe he just needs to know someone genuinely cares for him and will listen. Try finding the root of the problem, and then if you get stuck, feel free to go ask someone for help."

"That's it? That's all I have to do?" Karkat asked slowly, sounding skeptical.

"It's the first step. That doesn't mean it'll be easy, but it should help a lot."

The two of them wound up losing track of time--at first because Karkat kept asking questions and seeing if he had any advice, but then that turned into small talk, and Dirk found out that he and Karkat shared an otp. (Dirk thought he was the only guy who got excited over yaoi pairings. Damn, was he wrong.)

Eventually his phone buzzed, and he looked to see Dave was texting to ask when he was coming home.

"Holy sh**, it's been over three hours," he mumbled. "I have to go."

There was a pause, then, "I'll walk you to the door."

"What a gentleman. You never cease to amaze, lil man."

"Shut up," Karkat sighed, in a tone that made Dirk imagine he was rolling his eyes jokingly.

He opened the door and they both stepped out of the closet (hallelujah, cue the obligitory YMCA singing).

They silently walked to the front door, before Dirk stopped to ask, "Do you want my number? For fanfic sharing reasons, of course. Or advice, if you need me."

"Do you have good internet? Or would you be unavailable if something happened?" Karkat asked slowly.

"I don't make promises, but normally my internet's pretty decent. It should be fine even if it rains or something." Dirk nodded.

They exchanged numbers, and as Dirk walked away he thought he heard a mumbled "thank you."

He smiled and couldn't help but feel sort of warm inside at the thought of being able to actually help someone for once.

"Anytime, Pizzakat."