CALYPSO

"Yessss!" I said. Giving Slim a round of applause, I cheered him on from the loveseat in the recording studio. The Engineer raised his thumb of approval and Slim grinned.

We had been working on his second mixtape for months and finally just finished recording it. I helped him write most songs, even a few in their entirety. That mixtape was not our first time working together, but it would be our first project. We spent hours of time we could've spent working on the creases in our relationship on that project. But, with our minds focused on helping each other pursue our dreams, we were willing to sacrifice our romantic life.

"I feel like I'm officially starting my career." He said while pushing the ignition button. As if he hadn't bust his ass to create his first mixtape all by himself. That was even before him and I met. I smacked my lips and gave him a side eye.

"Had you been listening to me, you'd realize you started a long time ago." I said. He connected his phone to the Bluetooth and one of his old songs called Time began playing. "See, all you gotta do is believe in yourself and things will happen in due time!" He didn't respond, but he knew I was right. And, he still asked me if I was hungry and we grabbed some Popeyes on the way home.

"Bless the bottle," Jason said. Jason was Slim's best friend. So close, they considered each other brothers. Jason visited us from our hometown in Michigan. He brought his girlfriend/babymomma Shayla with him. Jason passed the Dusse around and we all touched the lid, blessing the bottle. "Congratulations to ma brotha"

"Thank you, Bro." Slim said. They did their special dap and poured everyone a shot.

"This reminds me of old times," Jason said. Him and I both took our double shots to the head. Shayla was still babysitting hers and Slim was taking sips as usual. "We used to have the best double dates."

"Yeah, like that one time Caly got drunk as fuck off that Amsterdam and threw up out the car window as we drove on the highway." Shayla said. Everyone shared a laugh as we recalled the memory. I poured me another shot and Jason set his glass next to mine for me to pour him another as well.

"Hey, it was my first time drinking Amsterdam. That shit humbled the fuck outta me! I see why they call it Thot Juice." I said. I took my shot and Jason followed after.

"That night was lit, ain't that when we seen them skunks?" Slim said. We all nodded. He finally finished the rest of his shot and pulled out his lighter to light up his weed stuffed backwood.

"Hell yeah, we was fucked up!" Jason said. Him & I locked eyes for a short moment. Slim passed him the blunt and he took a long pull. "Slim ass ended up on our bathroom floor posted up right next to the toilet."

"Yeah, he would've slept in there if I ain't help him walk back to the couch." I said. He exhaled smoke through his nostrils and passed the blunt to me, somehow allowing our fingers to touch. I pretended to hit it once, then I passed it to Shayla. Slim grabbed the dusse and poured him another shot he know he's not gone drink.

"Nah, I would've taken care of him if you wasn't there. You see I was in and out of the bathroom making sure he was straight." Jason said. By that time, I was starting to feel the liquor warming up my body. So, I pour my last shot and took it to the head without hesitation. I could see Jason in my peripheral fixated on my lips. Shayla put the wood back in rotation, passing it to Slim as she blew out smoke through her lips. As expected, she still hasn't finished her shot.

"Good looking, bro. I ain't gone lie, you did what you was supposed to do." Slim said. He hit the blunt before passing it to Jason. I split the cloud of smoke and walked into the kitchen to fix me a glass of water. "Aye, Bae! Bring me a glass of water too."

Slim went to the bathroom, and Shayla decided to drive to the store for a chaser because she can't drink dark liquor straight. After I finished making Slim's Ice water, I heated up my leftovers from the Popeyes I bought earlier.

"Damn, Caly," Jason said. I do a whole 180 turn to see him biting his bottom lip. His brown eyes were low and he was leaning up against the wall that divided the kitchen and living room. His mocha toned skinned was glowing as the light bounced off of it. I caught a glimpse of the veins in his forearm and had to turn back around. Yet, I could still see him through the reflection on the microwave. "You done got thick as fuck on a nigga."

"Boyyyy, stop it." I said. I rolled my eyes and could have just laughed it off. But, that's what got me in this position to begin with. He stroked the small hairs on his chin as he examined my body. "You gone get us caught the fuck up if you keep on."

"Not if you don't tell nobody." He said. He smirked, but once he heard the toilet flush in the bathroom, he was on his way back into the living room.

Just like old times, it wasn't long before Shayla was ready to call it a day. Although she bought a chaser, she still didn't drink much. Her & Slim were more high than anything. The sun JUST went down and my buzz was bout gone. Slim and Jason set up plans to play the game once Jason made it back to the hotel.

Later that night, I decided to put some focus on the career of my own. Like I said before, all my attention had been on Slim lately. So, I pulled out my music journal, grabbed my rose-gold ear buds, sat on the couch and played some beats I'd already written to just to get me in the mood. Within seconds, the world around me no longer existed. I was in my head and couldn't be bothered. Reciting my own lyrics and editing bars gives me an adrenaline rush. Whenever I closed my eyes, I would imagine what it would be like to perform in front of an audience. Or, even on the radio for DJ Funk Flex. Sometimes, it began to feel like I was really there. On that stage, in that room, or in that studio. I wanted to experience the true lifestyle of an artist. Before I could begin writing to a new beat, that I purchased from a local producer some months ago, Slim snatched one of my earbuds out of my ear.

"What is your problem?" He said.

"What the fuck is YOUR problem?!" I said with a frown. I tried reaching for my ear bud that he now was holding in the air, but his arms are too long. "Gimme back my shit! Why do you feel the need to bother me every time I'm minding my own business?"

"No, why you always in your phone?!" He grabbed my phone and stood up. At that point, I'm irritated. So, I completely go mute and give up on fighting with him. I wasn't about to waste my energy on his bullshit. I ended up doodling in the back of my journal to calm me down. "Get up and do something, you don't do shit. You don't cook. You don't clean. You just sit on your phone all day. Lazy as fuck!"

"Mhm," I said. "As lazy as I can be." In that moment, I was fed up. We had been in a relationship for a few years by then. 3 and half to be exact. Our arguments consisted of the same elements, same issues. Things neither one of us wanted to change because we felt we deserved better from each other. Besides, why would you expect me to want to give in my all when I feel like I'm receiving nothing from you. Not to mention, everything I give is never appreciated let alone acknowledged. So, there I was. Stuck.

"If this is how you're going to continue to be, I don't wanna be in this relationship anymore." He said. I chuckled as I continued to doodle. He grabbed his PS5 controller off the coffee table.

"If you're going to leave, then go. I don't cook FOR YOU because you expect me to. I don't clean AFTER YOU because you expect me to. I'm just lazy TO YOU because I don't do shit when you ask. But one thing is for sure, none of that shit gets done unless I do it!" I said. I followed him in to the bedroom where he had his PS5 set up. He sat down on the edge of the bed and began to play as he ignored me.

"I'm not the one sitting on my ass all day. I try to do something productive once a day at the minimum. The least you can do is make sure I eat. But maybe I'm just something you don't care about." He said. I marched to his game system and snatch out the cord. He took a deep breath and set the controller beside him as he stood up. The stare in his eyes were blank.

"I just spent MONTHS working FOR YOU!" I said. My emotions were high, and the fact that he was walking in my direction didn't phase me. "Niggas start feeling good about themselves and think it's cool to belittle everyone else. This ain't that. Take that shit somewhere-" then he smacked me. So hard, I fell into the TV. He managed to make sure it didn't fall, though.

That was the first and LAST time he hit me. I didn't hit him back. There wasn't a long apology from him, nor did I give him the satisfaction to see me cry. He reached behind me and plugged the game system back in, soon he resumed playing. I grabbed my phone that sat on the bed next to him and returned to the couch in the living room. Every since then, I ain't put my pen down. Not for nobody.

"Girl, he did what!?" Bria said. Bria is a girl I met there in Tremont that do hair. She was braiding one of the last few knotless braids that go down to my knees.

"Yes, girl," I said. "Shayla and Slim was sitting right there! I knew he was on all bullshit when he tried to sneak in the kitchen."

"Wow," she said. She sprayed my little bit of hair I had left and started to comb it out. I took a look at the length of my braids in the body sized mirror that sat against the wall of my living room. "Have you told Slim about what happened that one night?"

"Mm, mm." I said. She began braiding my second to last braid. With a smack of her lips, she shook her head as we looked at each other through the mirror. "How am I supposed to tell him something like that?"

"Exactly how it happened. Just do it." She said.

"It was just a kiss I-"

"A kiss?!" She said. Still keeping eye contact, she added in hair as she continued to braid. "Sis, he had you pinned against the wall and your legs wrapped around his waist. That was more than just a kiss."

"Ya know.." I said. I let out a small sigh and pretended to care about the chipped nail polish on my nails. "Even when I hear exactly what happened, it doesn't completely translate for me."

"Why not?" She said. She stood back as she extended the braid and I held it for her.

"Were weren't doing it for the same reasons. I can say that about a lot of relationships I've had in my life. But, that time was really my breaking point. I finally gave in. I had gotten so desperate for love that is was willing to exchange it with lust." I said.

"Every dog will have their day, boo. That's why you gotta tell the truth and move on." She said. She let go of the braid and grabbed my head, lightly squeezing the braids. "You gotta do what you gotta do."

"I wanted to feel wanted. I wanted to feel needed. Not even that, I just wanted to feel like I simply enough. Like, I was the woman of his dreams and he finally realized. But when I kissed him, I felt disgusted and dirty. As if, I was a game and that was the goal. I was looking in the wrong place. Maybe, I'd be satisfied if it was Slim." I said. My eyes began to water and I refused to look into the mirror. Bria finished my last braid and ran her fingers through all of them.

"Or maybe, Slim isn't the one for you. There is a man out there who loves you every minute of every day and doesn't know it yet because he hasn't met you yet. A man you makes you feel beautiful instead of just saying it. A man who respects you even when he's upset. And he damn sure won't put his hands on you." She said. She picked up the hair from the last piece of hair off the ground and stared at me through the mirror. My cheeks got warm and I looked away. I stood up and helped her clean. She put her hair supplies in her Coach purse.

"How did you know he-?"

"What? Hit you?" She said. She grabbed my hands and looked up into my eyes. "This is one of those things where if you know, you know. But, I'm here for you if you even need me. Imma get going, tho. I'll text once I make it home."

"Hey, YouTube. I know it's been a while..." I said into my IPhone. Sitting in front of a ring light and tripod, I recorded a video that would confirm my return to social media after being off the grid for so long. "I haven't been myself lately. I thought it was simply because I've just been surviving this whole time. But, I really forgot who I am... As of right now, freestyle Friday is back on. It's not much but it's a start in the right direction."

The instrumental to a familiar song began to play after I recited my "Bitch From Da South" by Miss Mulatto remix called "Shorty from tha Midwest." I stopped recording, and I allowed the beat to play. Prada You.. my head swayed side to side to the melody and my heart was beating in sync with the bass. Almost suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the vibration and my eyes began to water. A little part of me knew that somehow, someway, that was a sign. I just didn't know what. But what I did know, was I just HAD to write to that beat. It may not have been one of my usual type of beats, but that one was special. I meditated to that beat for hours before I began writing. Next thing I knew, I was revising and editing for 3 days straight. On just ONE beat.

After my 3 long days at Amazon, I needed a break. It felt like all I did was work and after the week I just had, I needed some ME time. I woke up to the smell of butter and cinnamon. The sound of oil popping in a pan, and a spatula scraping another came from the kitchen. I sat up against the headboard, as I noticed a note that's read "Good Morning, beautiful" on the nightstand next to my side of the bed.

"I love you. Come eat." I read aloud. I got out of bed and walked out of the room to see rose petals leading from the bedroom door to the dining table and Bathroom.

"What's this?" I said. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of him making me breakfast butt ass naked. I sat down at the booth that sat in the corner of our kitchen. I let out a chuckle at the sight of him jumping out of the way of popping grease.

"Enjoy," he said. He set our plates of food in front of us. "Happy anniversary, by the way."

"I thought we weren't doing that this year." I said. Honestly, I had been so preoccupied with running from my relationship that I completely forgot about my anniversary. I scooped a spoonful of buttery cheese grits and eggs into my mouth.

"I'm sorry." He said. He stopped eating and stared at me.

"For what?" I said. He shrugged his shoulders and in I set down my spoon.

"Whatever I did to make you this upset with me. I'm just trying to help you relax." He said. I let out a deep breath and the sides of my face giving my braids a squeeze.

"So, you don't know why you're sorry?" I said. I sat back against the booth with my arms crossed.

"I don't need to have a reason to say sorry." He said.

"In other words, you're not actually sorry. You're just saying it because it's the right thing to do?" I said. Before he could turn up on me, I just got up and walked out of the kitchen.

"You don't even appreciate when I do shit for you, what's the point of trying when it's never fucking good enough?!" He said. I grabbed my phone and some clothes to get into the bath. Slim was throwing away all the food he made, including what was on my plate when I walked into the bathroom. The tub had bubbles filled to the top, flower petals, and candles surrounding it. The smell of lavender and Shea butter filled my nostrils. Tears gathered in my eyes as I stare at the pregnancy test box sitting on the bathroom sink.

"It's crazy how you'd be so passionate about having a child with me. Yet, you've mocked me for wanting to marry you." I said. I threw the unopened box in the trash next to the toilet as I shook my head. I took a look into the mirror, staring at the woman I was and I hated it. The bags under my eyes. The acne breakout from stress. The tears that were drying on my cheeks, and unhappiness that always lingered because I was never at peace. I pushed my pride aside, like I always do, and I got in the bath he made for me. That day went on to be just as stressful as the last.

🌻🌻🌻

JAYDA CHEAVES as Bria

TOOSII2x as Jason

💭💭💭💭

Do you eat Popeyes?

Is Slim wrong for hitting Caly?

Should Caly tell Slim about what happened with Jason?

Did Bria give Caly the right advice?

Should there ALWAYS be a reason for you to say sorry?

What kind of relationship Slim & Caly have?

If it were you, what would you do in Caly's position?