We both laughed hysterically.

.

But no one else was laughing.

'Why weren't they laughing?'

"Why aren't you laughing?" I asked, looking around.

.

Betty shrugged her shoulders.

"What is so funny?"

.

"Are you ... shittin' .. me," Russell gasped.

"You are part of a group called Bullshit."

.

We started laughing again. Tears were filling my eyes.

I think I even peed a little.

.

Russell did pee.

On the floor.

.

"What are you talking about?" Betty demanded to know.

.

I struggled to stop laughing.

"Betty, your group, the Brotherhood of Unicycle Lads and Limp-nodes .... whatever, whatever whatever. it stands for Bullshit."

.

I could see Betty thinking, then she thought out loud.

"B, o, u, l, a, l, s, t, h, i, t. That spells Boulalsthit. That's not even a word."

.

"No," I half screamed. "You don't use the ofs and ands and tos to make a part of the word. Just the main words."

.

Again I could see her thinking.

Her face suddenly changed.

.

"Ah ha," I snapped.

"Now you got it."

.

"The 's' is silent," she said calmly.

"It spells Bullhit. Kinda like Bullet. Has an edge to it, don't you think?"

.

"You can't make the 's' silent," Russell crowed.

He looked at me.

"Can she?"

.

I shook my head.

"No. Since when did that start? That's like saying NASA is just NAA."

.

"It was my father's group and now it is my group and if I want the 's' silent, then it is silent."

Betty folded her arms and glared at me.

"So there."

.

Russell and I stared at each other.

We both shook our heads.

"No way," we both cracked.

.

"Way."

.

"No way."

.

"Look," Betty snapped.

"It is my group and I will call it what I want."

.

"Bullshit," Russell snickered.

.

Betty pulled her pistol out of her body bag and aimed it at Russell.

.

Russell crapped ...

BIG TIME ...

on the floor.

.

"Stop that," I yelled.

.

"She's aiming that cannon at me," Russell screamed in defence.

.

"Not you, the other you."

.

General Bob pulled his gun as well.

.

"Okay, hand them over," I demanded, holding out my hand.

.

Betty shook her head.

"No, my gun."

Now she was pouting.

She looked so cute when she pouted.

.

"My house."

.

"I wasn't going to shoot him."

.

"I was," General Bob sneered.

.

"Let me eat him, Krall. He might taste like shit but I can brush my teeth after and take a laxative."

Russell started walking toward the rat.

.

I put my hand in front of him, stopping him. I then shook my head and sat on the couch next to Harold.

.

"I don't get the bullshit thing," Harold whispered.

.

"Shut up, Harold."

.

The Baron was pouring another scotch.

.

"You dump one more glass of booze on the floor," I warned him, "and I will lock you in a room with Calvin and Harold."

.

He put the decanter back down.

I swear he shivered slightly.

.

I looked back at Betty.

She was so beautiful.

"Tell me about Bullet."

.

"Bullshit," Russell whispered.

.

"Shut up, Russell."

.

Betty sat in an armchair across from me.

"My father was abducted by aliens when he was very young. But they did not treat him badly. Actually they treated him very well and he even described the ordeal as something like summer camp.

He found that the aliens were very intelligent and nothing like what was shown in the movies."

.

I looked at Russell and General Bob.

'Intelligent life?'

I had to snicker.

.

Russell crapped on the floor.

"That was for what you were thinking."

.

"I will turn you into a fucking stew if you do that again."

I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily.

.

"Please don't say fucking stew," Betty asked sweetly.

.

She was so cute when she was sweet.

,

Betty continued.

"Anyway. Aliens are constantly travelling across the universes. They are like vacationers, looking for a nice planet to spend a few years or decades.

Unfortunately, many planets. like Earth, look at these visitors as a threat. Look what they have done in the past.

My father became a tour guide to these visitors and helped them come to Earth and actually enjoy their stay here. No matter how long it was."

.

I was dubious.

"So, there are visitors often?"

.

Betty nodded.

"All the time. Since my Dad passed, I have taken on his job and help alien visitors come to Earth."

.

"So what are you doing here?"

.

"I was born here, Krall. I am from Earth."

.

"Not here, here," I stammered.

'

Russell laughed and whispered.

"She's a real keeper, Krall. You two should do a Jeopardy year challenge."

.

"Fuck off," I whispered.

.

"Krall please don't say fuck off."

.

I smiled at Betty.

"What was i saying?"

.

"You were asking if I was born on Earth."

.

"What is an Einstein clone, Alex?" Russell snickered.

.

"No. What are you doing in this town?"

.

Betty got very serious.

"We have had some incidents between visitors and Earthlings. There have been some deaths. We believe that there may be people here in this town who are rouge aliens, trying to cause problems and start some kind of war between aliens and humans."

.

I tried to picture who in town might be an alien.

"Shit," I gasped.

"That could be half the town. They are all strange."

.

Everyone was silent, staring at me.

.

"What?" I snapped.

.

"Well Krall, you are not exactly a shining example of sanity."

.

I stared at the Baron.

I liked him better when he just said, 'Hummingbird'.

"I liked you better when you just said Hummingbird."

.

The Baron shrugged.

"Still, it could explain all the disappearances that have occurred over the years."

.

I nodded.

"And my missing 30 days."