"Oh my shit," I repeated.

.

"I knew they would not like us," Nicky said to her husband, sadly.

.

She had to be kidding.

She was tall, maybe 5' 10". All legs. Big beautiful, well rounded, perky ..."

.

I felt a hand across my head, slap style.

.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

.

"You were drooling," Betty snapped.

.

"I was not," I said, wiping my mouth.

"I have a saliva condition."

I looked at Betty's chest. Her boobs were nipply.

"And what about you?" I barked accusingly.

.

"Its cold," she contested.

.

"Its like 70 degrees."

But I did understand the attraction.

Nick was a strapping, six foot tall, blonde haired, muscular ..."

.

Betty hit me again.

.

"WHAT NOW?"

.

"Nick? Really?"

She gave me a dirty look.

.

"If our appearances disgust you, we can change back," Nicky offered.

.

"No. No. No," Betty and I said together.

.

Nick smiled.

"Then shall we go?"

.

"What about the Volkswagen?"

I pointed at the spaceship.

.

"Why don't we just dump the piece of shit?" Nicky offered.

.

Nick agreed.

He took what looked like a remote from his pocket.

He pressed a button.

Suddenly Eminem music filled the air.

.

"That is the stereo," Nicky chirped, reaching for the remote.

.

"I know that," Nick chirped back, holding the remote away from her.

.

Harold was still stomping.

.

"Give it to me," Nicky ordered, hands on hips.

Nice, shapely ...

.

Another slap in the head.

I deserved that one.

.

"I can do it," Nick insisted.

He pushed another button.

Red lights started flashing.

.

"That's the blinkers," Nicky laughed.

.

"I know that."

Nick was getting frustrated.

.

'Blinkers?'

'On a spaceship?'

.

Nick kept pushing buttons.

.

Doors opened.

Doors closed.

Engine started.

Engine stopped.

Windshield wipers.

Really?

Headlights.

Stereo again.

Brittany?

.

Nick threw the remote on the ground and started jumping on it.

"Stupid Ikea junk."

.

The Volkswagen spaceship started again.

It slowly rose up above the treetops.

It moved to the left, over the lake.

The engine stopped.

The spaceship dropped.

Hickory Dickory Dock.

.

"Well, there goes the warranty," Nicky snipped.

.

Harold stopped stomping and started laughing.

.

There was one last gurgle and the Volkswagen spaceship disappeared under the still waters of Pristine Lake.

.

Nick let out a long sigh.

"We will probably get shit for that when the next spaceship arrives from Zonk."

.

"When will that be?" I was afraid to ask.

.

Nicky laughed.

"Last estimate was 2046. They missed the gravitational slingshot and ended up somewhere around Saturn, I think."

.

I shook my head.

Stupid aliens.

.

"I heard that," Nicky said, snickering.

.

'You read minds?'

"You read minds?"

.

"Do you always repeat yourself?"

She was smiling.

She had a nice smile.

.

Head slap.

"I am still here, Krall."

.

"I know honey."

I turned to Nicky.

"Shut up," I said, gently.

"Let's go."

.

We started walking toward the van.

.

"You are a virgin?" Nicky wondered.

.

"Shut up, Nicky."

.

"And so is Betty?"

.

"Shut up Nicky."

.

"They are virgins," Nicky told Nick.

.

Betty and I both turned.

I love it when we ...

Well, you know.

.

"If you don't drop it,"I snapped.

"I will lock you in a closet with Harold."

.

"Boobs."

Harold was drooling.

.

Can ghosts drool?

.

"He drools."

.

I nodded.

"Yes he does."

.

Calvin was walking toward us, cleaning his glasses.

"Did you see what Harold did?"

.

"Don't care, Calvin. Get in the van," I ordered.

.

"But?"

.

Betty kicked Calvin in the ass.

How did she do that?

"The van, Calvin. Now."

.

"Boobs."

.

Betty pushed Harold.

"You too, Hornetsky."

.

Nicky stopped before she got in the van.

"Is it always like this?"

.

I shook my head.

"No. Usually it is 10 times worst."

.

"How can you stand it?"

.

Nicky really was beautiful

.

Another slap across the head.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

.

"Why do you keep ogling Nicky?"

.

"I wasn't ogling her."

I sat in the driver's seat.

.

"You kinda were," Nick agreed.

.

"See," Betty snapped.

.

"I wasn't ogling," I defended.

.

"You were, Krall," Calvin added.

.

I started the van.

Drove quickly forward and slammed on the brakes.

Calvin went flying through the windshield.

.

"I WASN'T OGLING," I yelled behind him.

.

"You were Krall."

Now the Baron.

.

I put the van in gear and started driving forward, right over Calvin.

"Not ogling."

.

"Were.

You were Krall.

Definitely.

You like her boobs.

I have nice boobs?

They are rather small for Zonk."

.

I slammed on the brakes again.

Calvin, who had appeared in the van again ...

Well you know where he ended up.

.

Betty looked at her own boobs.

They were nice, but Nicky's were so big, so round, so luscious, so ...

.

Betty slapped me, AGAIN.

How could she know what I was thinking?

.

Betty, as I was saying, looked at her own boobs.

Which are well rounded, firm, perky, perfect.

A kiss on the cheek this time.

.

Betty turned around.

"Drive Krall. I forgot what I was going to say."

.

I drove forward.

Over Calvin, again.

He appeared in the back of the van.

He was getting good at that.

.

I looked out the windshield.

I could see Russell, with the rat on his back flying ahead of us.

And hundreds of crows following.

.

Betty saw it too.

She nodded.

"Now I know why we brought the umbrella."