"Now I know why we brought the umbrella."

.

Betty and I were huddled together under the umbrella as a virtual shit storm was erupting above us.

Russell, with General Bob on his back, and hundreds of crows, were flying overhead, shitting on all those gathered.

.

Betty and I moved back under the relative protection of a he fir tree, but still stayed under the umbrella.

.

The burial ground was filled with Indian ghosts, most, like us seeking shelter from the defalcating dive bombers.

With the exception of Chief Chit Face / Chief Mac, who was standing in the middle of the small clearing, hands in the air, yelling, "Do not hide my people. It is good luck to have crows shit on you."

.

Russell flew down and landed on a limb above us.

.

"You shit on us and you get Calvin for a week," Betty snapped quickly.

.

Russell laughed.

"Couldn't do it if I wanted. I am officially all shit out."

.

"Good," I snipped.

"Now get all your buddies out of here, so we can move on with this thing."

Russell nodded and flew off.

.

"My son is an idiot."

.

Betty and I turned quickly, together.

I love it when we do things together.

.

The Baron was standing next to us, with two other Indian ghosts.

Like we need more ghosts.

.

The Baron spoke.

"My son, I would like you to meet Chief Rapid River. He is Chit Face's father."

.

I shook his hand.

.

"And this is Chief Golden Showers, Chit Face's grandfather."

.

Betty and I looked at each other.

We had to laugh.

.

"Sorry Chief."

.

The Chief nodded.

"No worries. I have heard it all in my time. It was not what my name meant at first. I was born in the afternoon of a golden sunset, during a sun shower.

Although I did enjoy a good shower."

.

He winked at me.

.

Betty grimaced.

.

The crows were now gone and Russell joined us again.

"All yours now Krall."

.

"Do you know that crow can talk," the Chief's said together.

.

I nodded.

"Yea."

.

"Okay," Chief Rapid River said.

"Let's get on with this shit."

.

"Yes, father?" Chief Chit Face / Mac, spoke.

.

Chief Rapid River looked at his father.

"We should have left him on the prairies. In buffalo dung."

.

Chief Golden Showers put his arm around his son.

"Yes, we should have."

.

They both walked to the centre of the clearing and joined Chief Chit Face / Mac.

The rest of us came out of hiding and formed a circle around the three men.

.

The Indian ghosts began a beautiful chant.

.

I was impressed.

Maybe this would be a moving ceremony after all.

I collapsed the umbrella, shit flying everywhere, tossed it aside and took Betty's hand.

It was warm and soft.

.

Russell flew and landed on my shoulder.

I looked at him.

.

"No shit," he whispered.

"I promise."

.

I let go of Betty's hand and put my arm around her.

This was a special moment.

I was so glad she was there with me.

I kissed her head.

"I am so glad you are here with me."

.

She put both arms around my waist and cuddled into me.

"So am I darling."

.

She called me darling.

.

Chief Rapid River raised one of his hands.

The chanting stopped.

"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here ...."

.

Chief Golden Showers slapped him in the back of his head.

"I warned you."

.

"He's not even my son."

.

He slapped him again.

"He is the son of our people. He is of his mother, my daughter, so he is your son."

He took a deep breath.

"Even if she was a two bit whore who would sleep with anyone."

.

"Father? Really?"

.

It was the woman ghost standing next to Betty.

We moved a little further away from her.

.

She pointed at us.

"See that is the shit I have had to put up with all of my life. Just because I had one child out of wedlock ..."

.

"ONE," Chief Chit Face / Mac yelled.

.

"Okay, eight. But just because I had a couple kids out of wedlock, doesn't make me a bad person, does it?"

.

She was looking at Betty.

.

"She is a virgin," Nicky added.

.

Betty turned to Nicky.

"Really. You had to bring that up?"

.

She shrugged.

"I didn't know it was such a sore point with you."

.

"Really?" Legs Always Open inquired.

"You are a virgin? How old are you, like 40?"

.

Betty pulled away from me.

"You want a piece of me, bitch?"

.

"Cat fight," Calvin screamed.

.

Legs Always Open grabbed Betty's hair and pulled.

.

How did she do that?

.

Betty simply punched her in the face.

She went down hard and lay there.

"Take that, biotch."

.

"I think you killed her," one of the other Indian ghosts said.

.

Betty looked at me.

I shook my head.

"Don't bother sweetie. Wouldn't make any difference."

.

She took my hand.

"Dumbest ghosts in the world."

.

"Can we get on with this?" Chief Rapid River wondered.

.

"I will do this," Chief Golden Showers informed him.

"This is a special moment for the Cowar Dly nation, as one of our greatest Chiefs has taken upon himself to rid himself of the sacred name given to him by his father ..."

.

"I am not his father," Chief Rapid River reminded his father.

.

His father slapped him across the back of the head and continued.

"As I was saying. It is a special moment when a great Chief goes against tradition and drops his sacred Indian name to become more in tune with the world as it is now."

He raised his hands.

"Chant my people, chant."

.

They started the chanting again.

I was wishing I knew the words.

Betty began to chant.

She must have know the words.

I hummed.

.

Chief Golden Showers raised his hands.

"Oh Spirits of our ancestors. As the world changes, so does the interpretation of our sacred names. So that we can continued to be remembered with the dignity, honor and reverence that we deserve, we sometimes have to change our names.

But the deep rooted respect and honour that we have for our father's and their fathers, is in no way lessened.

So, by the power given to me by the great ancestors of the Cowar Dly Indians, I proclaim that as of this moment and from this day onward, into eternity ...

I shall be known as Chief Mac."

.

A loud cheer erupted from all those gathered except for Chief Chit Face.

.

I looked at Betty.

"What just happened?"

.

She shrugged.

.

We watched as Chief Chit Face approached his grandfather.

We could not hear what was being said.

.

"What are they saying?" Russell wondered.

.

I shrugged.

"I can't hear."

.

The new Chief Mac put up his hand.

"Silence my people.

And, as is my right, I also proclaim that my grandson shall from this day forward, my grandson shall be known as Chief ..."

The Chief hesitated as he looked around.

.

Russel shit on my shoulder.

.

Chief Mac smiled.

I pushed Russel off my shoulder.

.

"You have crow shit on your shoulder hun," Betty pointed out.

.

I thanked her as i flicked it off.

It landed on General Bob.

.

"Yuk. Crow shit."

.

"From this day forward," The Chief continued.

"My grandson shall be know as the great Chief Shitting Crow."

.

The Indian ghosts snickered.

Chief Mac glared at them.

The Indian ghosts cheered.

Chief Shitting Crow smiled and waved to everyone.

.

"Should we say something?" the Baron wondered, aloud.

.

I shook my head.

"Would it do any good?"

.

Chief Mac raised his hands.

"My people. Now, as is the tradition of the Cowar Dly Indians, we will celebrate."

He pulled a Peace Pipe from inside his top.

.

How did he do that?

.

He lit the pipe and drew heavily.

"And now, in the words of the 20th century's greatest songwriter, Mr. Bob Dylan ....

Everybody must get stoned."