thirty-seven: the sounds of the broken

Zayn woke up on the couch in the downstairs living room, an empty bottle of what appeared to be scotch sitting on the coffee table. His head was pounding and he felt like at any given moment he would puke. He grimaces when he looks at the clock to see it was only six in the morning, far too early for him to be awake considering he hadn't fallen asleep until at least four.

His phone begins to ring next to the empty bottle, causing him to grimace yet again at the loud noise. He picks it up once he sees that it's Johannah calling, clearing his throat before answering the call.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Johannah demands instantly before Zayn could even get a word out.

"Good morning to you too, Johannah." He answers, clenching his eyes shut at the ping of pain going through his head at the sound of his own voice.

"Why didn't you tell me Louis was missing? I'm his mother, I have a right to know." She says, anger clear in her voice and Zayn was about ready to slap himself because she was right. He'd honestly been so caught up in his own head he'd forgotten all about it.

"I know... I'm sorry Johannah. It uh... it was a rough night and the thought honestly left my mind. I meant to call you first thing this morning, but it appears you've already been informed." Zayn whispers, biting on his bottom lip once he's finished as he suddenly feels the need to cry. He was half tempted to get up and see if he could find another bottle of scotch but the kids would be up soon and he didn't want to be that kind of father.

"I'm sure they'll find him, Zayn. They better or I'll go out there and look for him myself. How are the kids?" Johannah asks and Zayn hesitates with his answer because he wasn't quite sure what to tell her. He believed that the twins at least knew something was off... Quinn was still a little too young to understand yet.

"They uh... they don't know. I haven't... I don't have the heart to tell them. I know I should... but I can't." Zayn manages to get out, once again biting back sobs as a few tears fall from his eyes. It's silent on the other end for a moment, almost like Johannah was giving Zayn a chance to let it all out but Zayn didn't want to. Letting it all out meant accepting that Louis was gone and Zayn didn't want to accept that yet.

"Do you... Do you need me to take the kids today? Give you a chance to be on your own for a little and figure out what to do?" She asks after another minute of silence. Zayn clears his throat as he looks towards the stairs, contemplating Johannah's offer.

"I don't want them to see me like this..." He finally says, his voice coming out hoarse as he does speak. He keeps his eyes on the stairs, almost as if he was waiting for Louis to come down them with a bright smile on his face. Zayn knew better though, even if it was all he wanted.

"I'll come pick them up around nine... it's going to be okay, Zayn. They're going to find him." Johannah says, but Zayn didn't really feel like she even believed herself. Johannah and Zayn exchange their goodbyes after that, hanging up the phone and leaving Zayn alone in a silence that he could hardly stand.

He doesn't move for the first few moments, silently crying as he moves his phone back forth between his hands. When the silence becomes too much, the anger and the sadness coming at him in full force and Zayn grabs the empty bottle off the coffee table only to throw it against the wall in frustration. He watches as the glass shatters, spreading all around the floor. Zayn, realizing his mistake, walks over to the mess and makes a move to pick it up.

He hisses when a piece cuts his finger, the blood oozing out and Zayn tries not to laugh. Not even twenty four hours ago, he'd come home to blood on the floor and here he was again letting the blood hit the floor. He allows this to go on for a moment before he seems to come to his senses. When he does, Zayn kneels down in front of the broken pile of glass to once again go to pick it up only to let out a small laugh, letting his knees touch the ground as he allows himself to laugh uncontrollably. The laughing turns hysterical and before Zayn knew it he was a sobbing mess on the floor.

It takes him a few moments to calm down, his sobs slowly fading into quiet sniffles as he looks away from the pile of glass. A confused expression finds its way onto his face when he notices a book on the floor almost underneath the couch. It had clearly been knocked off the coffee table and accidently kicked underneath the couch, probably when Louis knocked over the lamp. Zayn reaches for the book, pulling it out and flipping it over. He lets out another choked sob when he sees the two sticky notes on the front of it, a list of names written in Louis' handwriting.

"I'm going to find you, Lou. I promised to always keep you safe and I'm going to do just that."

---------------------------------------------

And there's chapter 37. Jfc. 

Poor Zaynie. 

There won't be a dedication on this one cause my Internet is down at my house and I'm using my phone to write and post this chapter (Thank you mobile data tbh)

QOTC: what do you guys think will happen when Zayn realizes who took Louis?

Comment

And

Vote

Connie xx