so before I begin, this is the last chapter. it's a whole year (okay... it's not a whole year cause I wanted to end it at a certain point....) in a chapter like i did in the first two books... so yeah. 

connie xx

forty-nine: one golden year

July

"So, what brings you into my office today?" She asks, looking across the room at Louis who's playing with his hands. He doesn't want to look at her, feeling insecure and wondering if this was exactly the best decision. 

"I uh... I have... I feel like I need help. I feel like I need someone to talk to who isn't my husband or my best friend... I need someone to help me get over this... this feeling of fear I've got inside of me." He says quietly, biting down on his lip as he continues to play with his hands. 

"And how exactly would you describe this fear?" 

"Everything in my life for the past four years has just been... they've been hard. I feel like I've lost who I am and I don't know if I can ever find myself again. I feel like I'm a bad example for my kids, that I'm causing my husband more problems than I am helping him." 

"Well how about we start with the beginning... What started it?" 

"It started with a party...." 

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August 

"I think this is it... I think this is our home. What do you think?" Zayn asks, looking away from his computer screen and towards Louis standing in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Louis takes a few more seconds to finish up before walking over to the bed and crawling into it. He places his head onto Zayn's shoulder as he looks at the images, a soft smile on his face as he does so. 

"I think it's perfect... Maybe we can go take a tour tomorrow?"

"I'll call our agent." Zayn says, getting ready to climb out of bed only to have Louis grab his arms. 

"Call her tomorrow. Right now I want to sleep." Louis whispers, nuzzling his face into the crook of Zayn's neck before moving his head down to Zayn's chest. He lets out a content sigh at the calming sound of Zayn's heartbeat. 

"I love you, Lou." Zayn whispers, kissing the top of Louis' head but Louis was already fast asleep. 

--------------

September 

"How about we start today with what makes you happy, Louis." 

"I don't really know the answer to that question..." 

"I'm sure that's not true. Tell me about your kids..." 

"Well I've got three of them... one more on the way. Nathan's my oldest, bit of a trouble maker and he really hates hearing the word no. He can be the sweetest little boy though, always willing to go out of his way to help me with his younger siblings. He's a sweet boy, takes after me when I was around his age I suppose. Next is Ethan... He's Nathan's twin brother, only younger than him by a few minutes. He's quiet, shy, but such a cuddle bug. He's probably the easiest out of the three, he's more like Zayn than me. Quinn is my youngest currently, the only girl. I'm not really sure who's she's more like, there's days where she reminds me so much of Zayn... but then she's like me. I have a feeling she'll break more than her far share of hearts when she's older... And then there's the one I've got coming... He was supposed to have a twin sister but I lost her a few months back... I'm having a hard time with this pregnancy, and I know it's because of that... I can't... I can't bring myself to be excited about this one. I usually feel something towards the baby when I see it on the ultrasound, but every time I look at that screen... I just feel sad." 

"Well you lost a baby, that can't be easy..." 

"I can tell that Zayn is excited... We bought a house last month, we're getting ready to move there in just a few days... but I just... I want to be happy, I want to be excited, I want to feel something besides this... this sadness in me." Louis says quietly, wiping at his eye when a tear slips out. His therapist gives him a soft smile, sitting up a little straighter in her chair as she looks at him. 

"And that's why I'm here. I'm here to help." 

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October 

"Daddy! Look!" Nathan screams out, pointing excitedly towards the candy he could clearly see the lady handing out to the other kids. He's tugging on Zayn's hand, trying to get his father to walk faster but Zayn wasn't budging. 

"Nate, slow." Ethan whines, trudging behind Zayn as he holds onto his other hand. Louis is even further behind, chatting excitedly to Quinn who's pointing at every single house. 

"But candy." Nathan pouts, holding a hand out for Ethan to take. Ethan seems hesitant at first but he takes it anyways. Together the twins skip off towards the next house, Zayn keeping a watchful eye on them as he waits patiently for Louis to catch up. Once he does, Zayn throws an arm over his shoulder and nuzzles his nose with Quinn's. 

"Enjoying yourself?" He asks, earning an actual smile from Louis before he nods. 

"Who knew dressing up as the five teenage ninja turtles would be so much fun." 

-----------------------

November

"So you're doing better then?" She asks, earning a nod from Louis who rubs at his rather large baby bump. 

"Yeah... I've been spending a lot more time with the kids since Zayn went back to work. We're getting ready for this little guy to get here... and I'm happy. For the first time in a long time, I don't... I don't want to run. I want nothing more than to stay right where I'm at with my family."

"I'm glad to hear that." She says, smiling as Louis nods with a bright smile of his own on his face.

----------------

December

It was an early morning when Louis went into labor, the pain literally waking him up. He sits up with a gasp, blindly reaching over to where Zayn is sleeping in the bed next to him.

"Zayn... Zayn wake up." Louis says, shaking Zayn only to have him let out a quiet groan. Louis gets a little more desperate, knowing for a fact that it was only a matter of time before that kid was ready to make his debut into the world. 

"Zayn Malik, wake the f uck up." Louis says a little louder, practically shoving Zayn out of the bed. A loud thud sounds when Zayn hits the floor and he wakes up instantly. 

"What the hell, Louis?" His voice comes out groggy as he rubs at his eyes.

"Baby is coming, Zayn." Louis says, his voice coming out in a rush and Zayn is wide awake. 

----------------

"He's beautiful, Lou." Zayn whispers, looking down at the sleeping baby as Louis blinks back tears. He never thought he'd reach this moment, sitting in a hospital room with the view of Zayn holding their newborn baby in a recliner right next to his bed. Zayn was literally glowing, the happiness radiating off of him as he looks down at the baby. 

"I love you, Zayn." Louis whispers back, still smiling brightly before turning his gaze towards the birth certificate. 

Name: Mason Levi Malik DOB: 12/13/2019 TOB: 6:03 AM Mother: Louis William Malik Father: Zayn Javadd Malik 

----------------------

January 

"And what are your plans for the new year? What do you hope to accomplish?" She asks, earning a smile from Louis who simply shrugs. 

"For once, all I want is to spend it with my family. I want to be happy, I want to love every moment of it... I don't want anything to pass me by." 

---------------

February 

"Happy birthday Uncle Harry!" Nathan yells out, running towards Harry with open arms. Ethan is right behind him, both of them grabbing onto Harry's legs and holding on tight as they smile up at him. Harry who's holding the newest addition to his own family smiles down at them, reaching down with one hand to ruffle their hair. 

"Can I see baby?" Nathan asks, looking at Harry in excitement. 

"Course, we just have to sit down first okay?" Harry says, earning a nod from Harry as they move over towards the couch. Ethan pouts when he sees there isn't a spot for him, sulking over to Louis who's in the middle of a conversation with Niall.

"Mummy... I want baby." Ethan whines, holding his hands up like he always did for his little brother but Louis didn't have him.

"How about you see if Daddy will help you hold him?" Louis offers, pointing over where Zayn was at across the room holding a sleeping Mason as he watches over Quinn and Easton on the floor. He watches as Ethan walks over to Zayn, clearly asking to hold his brother. 

He can't help the smile on his face as he watches them sit down together and hold the baby. It was a sight he would never get used to and it was a sight he never wanted to forget. 

-------------------------

March 

"Where are we going anyways? It's not everyday you literally drag me out of the house." Louis teases, allowing Zayn to lead him down some random street. 

"Well today isn't just an ordinary day, my love." Zayn says back, looking over at Louis before leaning over and kissing Louis' cheek. Louis reaches down and grabs Zayn's hand at that point, interlocking their fingers.

"We really did it, didn't we?" Louis asks, a bright smile on his face. 

"One year down, a lifetime to go." 

"Can I tell you something?" 

"Course." 

"I love you." Louis says, his smile growing bigger as Zayn smiles too. 

"Can I tell you something now?"

"You can tell me anything." Louis says, letting out a giggle when Zayn literally twirls him around only to have him wrap his arms around his waist. 

"I love you too." 

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and that is how i end this series.

i'm honestly surprised at how many of you guys wanted a sad ending....

i guess it's cause some of you think Double Trouble takes place immeadity after this story ends but Double Trouble is about the twins when they're grown up and stuff...  

credit for the therapy idea goes to xNo_Jimmy_Protestedx, thank you to KingCommenter for helping me figure out to do the ending haha. 

anyways, thank you guys for all the support you've given this series. it means a lot and i really hope you enjoyed reading as much as i enjoyed writing.

Double Trouble is already posted. Here's the cover:

and this is the description: 

"You know what, I used to think there was nothing worse than watching the person you love fall in love with someone else. I was wrong because honestly, the worst thing is watching them fall in love with your brother without a single thought about you."

or the one where Nathan is in love with his brother's fiancee

once again, thank you for all your support. 

connie xxx 

UPDATE ON DOUBLE TROUBLE:

due to the fact that I really dislike the way i wrote the spinoff and the fact that i don't have any time to write the sequel to said spin off, Double Trouble has been taken down.