"So where exactly does this friend of yours live?"

Walking next to Valentina, the air around you mostly silent due to your easily angered state of mind, you cautiously observe every turn you take. The streets you're passing through are on black market territory, so it's only natural that you're questioning the legitimacy of that 'Professional'.

"You'll see when we get there." She answers slyly.

Graffiti, dirty streets and the occasional weird wandering individual are all that cross your path as you follow the mountain lion. It's dark already, the sun had set about an hour ago. Though barely any stars are visible.

"Do you miss your home a lot?"

The question catches you off guard and you freeze for a few seconds. What prompted her to ask this now? During the entire time you've known her, Val had never asked a single question about your old world. So why now? "Yeah, I do. Not as often as I used to but I'm getting there. It just would be nice to see another human for once, you know?"

She nods absentmindedly but it's obvious that there's more that she's not telling you. Keeping your poker-face, you choose to return to the comfortable silence from before. At least to you it seems comfortable; you don't know if you could say the same for Valentina. The mountain lion tends to open her mouth to speak, only to close it again without uttering a sound.

What you said wasn't that far off. Sure, you're not the most social person but it definitely would be nice to meet another human again, no matter how sophisticated they are. Someone who kind of looks like you, who understands at least some of your struggles. But apparently, that is too much to ask for.

"We're here." Lazily bumping into Val's back, you pull your light jacket tighter around your body and peer at the house you stopped at. "Huh? Wait, this is Gouhin's place!"

Smirking, the feline winks at you before knocking confidently, to which a familiar deep voice sounds from the other side. Soon after, the door swings open to reveal the face of the big panda. He's clad in regular blue jeans and a beige sweater, which oddly enough fits him really well. Like the last time you saw him, he has a cup of what you presume to be bamboo tea in his hand.

"Are you kidding me?" You voice your opinion as he invites you inside of his clinic, closing the door behind you and taking off your shoes. "So Gouhin's supposed to be my new shrink?"

Your eyes stay focused on the big panda, who laughs at your sarcastic remarks. However, you notice that Val's standing as still as a statue, her gaze frozen on something on her left as you come up to stand next to her. But before you can reach her side and take a peak for yourself, Gouhin distracts you, his eyes settling on the many bandages on your arms, as well as the bruise on your face. "Those are a lot of injuries. Are they self-inflicted?"

"Wow, you're bold," You comment, taking the cup of tea he offers you and staring down at the rising steam, "Some are, some aren't. They look alarming though and I'd rather not get any more unwanted attention."

"Val tells me you've been going to your doctor appointments a lot lately." His strategy is pretty obvious; he uses small-talk to get a personal evaluation of your mental status. Not that you necessarily mind, seeing as you have no qualms about really speaking about what's going on with you here. Gouhin's a doctor, though hopefully not one of the ones you're used to; so maybe he can actually help you feel something positive for once. Even if it's just amusement about how unsalvageable your situation seems. "Can you tell me why? I doubt it's a pleasant process."

In the corner of your eye, you see Val making wild gestures at the Omnivore. You're unsure of the reason.

"It's not," You answer truthfully, "But I can now tell you exactly how my body reacts to the venom of a tiger snake, a forest cobra, the south American bushmaster and that of a wolf spider. Which isn't exactly out of the usual...Doctor Masago was quite disappointed to see that I'm apparently not immune against various types of venom. Guess they thought I'm the second coming of Christ or something."

"What?!" Val screeches, although you refuse to look t her. "You never told me that they're testing venom on you!"

"It never came up," You mumble, taking a sip from your tea only to burn your tongue, "Oh, fuck shit, that's hot!"

"They can't do that to you!" The older woman argues, her tail viciously swishing back and forth. Her eyes only widen further when you release a humourless chuckle, aware of the hopeless situation you put yourself in. "Actually, they can. Legally speaking, I'm property of Japan's government. I'm not protected by any laws or some sort of political group as far as I know. I'm lucky they even let me go to school and have some sort of private life. They could legally sell me off to the highest bidder and none of us would be able to do a thing about it."

Uncomfortable silence settles in the clinic as Gouhin takes an awkward sip from his tea. They know you're right. Legally speaking, you're nothing but a toy who's allowed to have the illusion of freedom.

You've come to terms with that fact a long time ago.

A quiet growl echoes through the room and taken by surprise, you turn your head in the direction it came from. Once again, you wish you hadn't.

"Legoshi."

Oh Fuck!

Dark eyes stare into your own, his ears falling back against his lightly-furred head. His tail hangs lifeless behind his legs whilst his hands cover his mouth, another growl falling through the barrier. Even though his compassionate eyes seem to tell you that you're not the target, you don't know what to believe anymore when it comes to the young canine.

So it's only a simple reflex when you flinch back from the wolf, even though there's a good distance between you. You don't know it, but that minor action almost tears a whine from Legoshi's throat.

Quickly, you avert your gaze back to the floor, screwing your eyes shut to not cry again. You've done enough of that in the past; you're tired of shedding anymore tears when nothing's going to change. One second, another; about a whole minute passes where you simply count your breath in order to keep your moist eyes under control.

Then, you force a cheery fake smile onto your face, hand Gouhin your tea and grab Val's arm, making your way to the door. "Sorry for intruding, we'll come back later or something!"

Before the mountain lion, or anyone else in the room for that matter, can protest, you've already escaped out the door and are dragging her along with you. Your breath grows faster, tears streaming down your face the very second you cross the threshold. Broken sobs escape your lips while your speed increases and soon enough, you find a secluded corner in a dirty alley way.

Leaning against the filthy brick wall, you let your walls crumble down for the final time. It's hard to breathe and damnit, if you didn't know any better, you'd have guessed you got bitten by a tiger snake. Your voice comes out in desperate sobs and wheezes as the air refuses to enter your lungs.

How much did he hear? How long was he there?!

What if he heard the whole thing? What is he thinking right now, how is he? Is he okay? Is he happy? What is he doing in Gouhin's clinic? W-was he growling because he saw me? Does he hate me that much?

Damnit, it hurts, why does this hurt so much?!

I deserve this! This is punishment, this is just karma getting back at me. Fuck, why can't I stop crying?

"Y/n, sugar, what's going on?" Now free from her stupor, Valentina appears in front of you and grabs your shoulder. The other hand gently takes a hold of your skin, forcing you to look into her golden eyes, concern swirling within them. "Sweetie, breathe. Hey, you have to breathe, got it?"

Frantically nodding, you try to stop yourself from hyperventilating, your hand scratching at the brick wall behind you.

"V-Val, I-I can't breathe," You choke out, a fringe of panic settling amongst the self-hatred, "I can't breathe!"

"Shh, It's okay! Just breathe with me, got it?" Enduring the intense eye-contact, you follow her instructions. You force yourself to inhale at the same time she does, exhaling in the same fashion. It takes a short while but finally, you've collected yourself. Your limbs shake from the escapade and your eyes burn from your tears.

"What happened in there?"

"I-I don't know," You mumble, sniffling pathetically, "I just saw him and I...I broke down. I had to get out of there."

"But why?" She questions again, her tone soft and motherly. "I get that you'd be upset at him but sugar, you're hurting yourself here. Why did you feel the need to run like that? That's unusual, even for your current state."

"Because he hates me." You cry out. For a moment, the feline is completely silent, her ears turning back as she purrs in an attempt to calm you down.

"Sugar..."She starts, gently rubbing the top of your head, "He doesn't hate you. That pup was furious at the doctors if you ask me. I don't know him as well as you do but trust me when I tell you, he could never hate you. He's probably just an idiot who doesn't know how to handle the dilemma he's in."

Her eyes don't break contact with your own, the e/c colour having lost its shine over the last few weeks.

"He doesn't hate you."

You want to believe her. Almost desperately, you want to believe that Legoshi doesn't hate you. But that nagging, terrifying voice in your head drowns everything out, consuming any form of light and hope that shines through. Why wouldn't he hate you? It's harder to find a reason for that. Nevertheless, you stay quiet and keep your suffering to yourself.

Valentina's been burdened enough by your antics; it's useless to add more unnecessary baggage.

She smiles at you and pulls you into a tender hug, cautious to not trigger any of your fight or flight responses. Because unfortunately, even those tend to get out of control now. At least unless you're actively suppressing them.

Quickly, you wipe the remaining evidence of your little fiasco, before nervously following Valentina back to Gouhin's place. Re-entering the little clinic, the panda is already seated on his chair with your cup of tea in front of him.

Legoshi's nowhere to be found.

Valentina guides you to your chair and with a fair-minded expression, she sits down next to you.

"Well, then," The big panda grins, "Let's get started, kid."

***

Seeing you waltz through the entrance of Gouhin's clinic was the last thing Legoshi expected to see. Much less in the company of the fierce mountain lion.

Even though solving Tem's murder and focusing on his training are supposed to be his priorities, every now and then he'd catch himself searching for you. Especially after he walked in on you and Pina about a month ago. The flirtatious Dall Sheep is anything but a devoted male and back then, he was sure that you had moved on.

But apparently, that wasn't the case.

Of course he had noticed that you stopped attending the drama club meetings, as had everybody else in the club. The President attempted to calm the worried members with, "She's just busy at the moment."

And if Legoshi had known what was keeping you busy, he'd have sought you out that very moment.

So seeing you walk through the door of the Clinic, your arms wrapped in bandages and a nasty bruise on your cheek, it took every bit of self-control he had to not give into his protective instincts. Wolves are monogamous creatures and very devoted ones at that; it's simply in their nature to care about their partner.

It was a miracle it took that long for you to notice his presence, though the mountain lion kept on telling him to leave with her frantic gestures and fierce glares. The way you conversed with Gouhin wasn't your usual self; even though you liked to use humour or sarcasm, it had never been this dry or severe. Your stature was slightly slouched, your once vibrant s/c skin had lost its shine and your hands trembled every now and then.

The way you talked about what happened in that lab was so casual, despite the horrors you've endured. It's as if you had lost any form of respect for yourself, the fire that once resided in your core had gone out.

And he knew he was to blame for it.

He shouldn't have left you. The entire point of his training is to become stronger in order to protect you, so why isn't he doing that? Why did he never think things through?

Maybe that's the reason why he didn't control his rage at the situation in that moment. The growl that crawled from his throat was deep and menacing, though its power still surprised him. And when you locked eyes with him, a violent shudder ran down his spine.

Dark bags resided under your e/c eyes, their colour having lost its lively gleam. You looked so sad, completely broken.

When you flinched away from him and fled from the clinic, he could do nothing but stare after you with his tail between his legs.

He left shortly after, with Gouhin's oh so wise words in his mind.

"You've got a lot of things to fix with that girl."

***

Why can't this fucking headache just go away?!

To say you're beyond irritated would be a heavy understatement. Sure, you've dealt with these headaches and other types of pain for quite some time now, but that doesn't mean they get easier to deal with. Especially not when the pain only increases. It feels like there's a fire in your head, aching and burning against your skull.

During your lessons, you've just been existing, functioning on auto-pilot and taking notes when the teacher told you to; not that you can actually study with a headache like this. You're thankful for Val's training today because hopefully, it'll help you deal with this overwhelming amount of rage slumbering within you.

You're not sure if your condition worsened due to your session with Gouhin yesterday, like some kind of rebellious reaction from your brain. Speaking of your first session with the Panda, you're not sure what to think of it yet. In a way, you hope he'll get you out of the void you've lost yourself in but on another note, you're scared to let someone in. Even if that is literally his job as your therapist, it'll take a lot out of you to let down your walls and let him see the mess that you are.

"Y/n! I need to talk to you!"

Oh no. Oh god no. Oh fuck no. Why now?! Why her of all people?! I don't want to talk to her; I just want to get out of this fucking school right now!

"Hey, wait up!" Being the stubborn she-wolf that she is, Juno easily catches up to you and grabs a hold of your wrist, ultimately forcing you to come to a halt. You haven't talked to her since that day in the wolf room but you've had enough encounters with her little fanclub to avoid her for the rest of your life.

What would she have to say to you? Naturally, your body perceives her as a threat, tensing up and slouching to make yourself as small as possible.

"What do you want, Juno?" Despite not being on good terms with you, the female canine is still surprised at how vacant your tone is, your voice shaking slightly as you refuse to look at her. It's definitely unfamiliar when it comes to you; usually you always had some kind of emotion when it came to her. Whether it is compassion like you had during the first time you met her, or fury at her actions. "I need to talk to you about Louis."

"What?" At this, your eyes widen and you freeze for a moment. You haven't heard from Louis since he left school, not that you expected anything else. So to hear his name come out of Juno's mouth of all people only confuses you further. Still, you force yourself not to care and rip your arm free from the she-wolf's grip. "What Louis does isn't my concern anymore. Have a good day, Juno."

I'd rather not be seen around her. I'd like to avoid getting beat up again simply for talking to her.

"What do you mean? You're friends, why would you not care anymore?! That's what friends do!" She appears beside you, easily keeping up with you due to her canine speed. Still avoiding her piercing periwinkle eyes, you flee into a distant hallway, free of other students.

"Friends don't just leave like that!" You snap. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you slowly exhale. This is truly not the day for this conversation. "Please just leave me alone, Juno."

Once more, you try to escape from the situation. But the first-year doesn't know when to stop apparently.

"No, you can't just leave!" Grabbing your shoulders and pushing you against the wall, ignoring your instinctual fearful reaction, the canine stands in front of you filled with determination. "What's going on with you?"

"Juno stop-"

"No! You're acting weird." Pouting like a child, the grey wolf analyses you under her scrutinizing gaze. "You've never been scared of me. So why are you now?"

"Well things change," You mumble. Her ear flaps in confusion, her claws grazing the skin of your upper arm on accident. But that accident is enough to bring the aggression to a boil because you just want to leave; but ultimately, you can't.

You're a cornered animal.

"Do you know that he's become a delinquent? He's the leader of some lion gang in the black market now."

What?

And that's enough to break you.

"Let me go, Juno." You growl, your mind entering a state of frenzy and madness. All you see is red, a disgusting shade of crimson that consumes your entire vision. But Juno refuses, not understanding what's going on with you. "No, we're not done talking! Just listen, Y/n!"

There's only one lion gang in the black market.

The Shishigumi.

The group that almost killed you.

And Louis is working with them.

Your former friend is working with the people who tried to eat you alive.

"I said let me go!" Thrashing against her hold, you're incapable of forming a single rational thought.

The pain, the fury, the bullying, the betrayal, this terrible loneliness; all of it explodes into a blurry mess of absolute animosity.

And before you know it, your fist meets Juno's face with full force. 

***

Hey ho Homies! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

We've got a Juno situation here! Can I just say that her character can be really hard to write? I'm introverted and Juno's the literal definition of an extrovert, so I have no clue what's going on in her head.

Still, things are going down and from next chapter, we'll be trying to follow the plot a little more. We've still got a killer on the loose and a stupid wolf playing Sherlock holmes.

As another side note, aggressive behaviour and feeling unusual amounts of rage and anger are also a symptom of PTSD. Like I said, I'm trying to incorporate symptoms befitting the storyline and the mental illness.

Anyways, I hope y'all are safe and sound and healthy! Stay safe guys, gals and nonbinary pals!

See you in Chapter 55!