Bright daylight floods the empty hallways, the green colour of the walls seem stale against the dark, chestnut-coloured floors. Legoshi is alone as he stalks through the corridors, a rolled up newspaper in his hand. He slouches, as usual, and his eyebrows make his sorrowful mood obvious to anyone. His gaze is focused on the ground as he mindlessly hits himself in the back of the head with the newspaper, using little enough force to not hurt himself. The tall grey wolf is on his way to Tem's memorial, a spot that's been vacant of student life for quite some time now.

It's been three months since Tem's incident. No report yet on them arresting anyone.

"Back to the drawing board?"

"Heh...it's just not the right time! I...Don't worry! I'll wait for the perfect moment to tell her my feelings."

One of his ears sheepishly drops to the side as he thoughtfully looks up to the ceiling.

True feelings, huh?

Hm...

With a forlorn expression, he glances down as he thinks back to yesterday, the night of the blackout. Watching you scream in terror at the mere sight of him, a large breed carnivore, makes his stomach knot in the most uncomfortable way. Despite your reassurance, the dark, terrible voice in his head keeps on reminding him that someone as pure and perfect as you could never fully feel comfortable around a predator like him, let alone love him. He doesn't want to think that way but the majority of his mind is convinced that, even if you constantly deny it, you are scared of him.

Y/n's true feelings are apparent now after yesterday's blackout.

And he doesn't want to stand in the way of your's and Louis' relationship.

"What did she tell you?"

"Well...nothing really."

"Then we're just friends."

Even though his heart aches at the thought of the two of you together, he's mature enough to understand that the stag is a far better option than himself. Ever since that conversation with Louis, he's kept a close eye on your interactions with the red deer, at least when he's in the room as well. He has noticed how comfortable you feel around the other male, how you're not afraid to touch him or stand close to him. He has noticed that the two of you tend to vanish together into the same, long forgotten room and how your scent tends to stain the buck's own ever so slightly.

Legoshi hates it.

But he knows how much he hurt you, even just accidentally. Louis never did that. With Louis, you wouldn't have to worry about being devoured or coming to any harm by the hands of the one, who claims to love you. Despite how much he wants to be the one holding you in their arms, he'll let you go if it means that you're safe and sound.

I'm sure her and Louis have been close since...well, long before I even got to know her name. It probably didn't even take him that long to sweep her off her feet.

Urgh...what am I supposed to do?

C'mon, help me out, Tem!

Once again, he gently drums the newspaper against his temple, passing two ebony doors on his way to the memorial.

But just as he turns the corner, he sees the familiar red deer crouched in front of the alpaca's picture. Quickly, he catches his balance and runs back the way he came at a speed that even Usain Bolt would be jealous of. He flees into the nearest empty classroom, now standing behind the window of the ebony door he passed just a minute earlier.

He sighs and leans his head against the wall, slightly panting from his sprint.

Since everyone tends to stay away from that area, I bet nobody even knows that Louis continues to bring flowers for him. For Tem.

Huh....Louis.

Suddenly, he notices movement on the bottom of his vision and he glances down to see a jaguar. The feline wears the school uniform, his eyes seething with prideful fury as he crouches, his gaze fixated on the buck. Sneakily, the jaguar follows after him, before launching to attack the popular student.

But luckily for Louis, Legoshi tackles the other male to the ground before he even gets the chance to lay a finger on him. Although the herbivore notices the shift in the air and glances behind him suspiciously, the wolf has already hidden himself and the feline behind the corner, trapping the male with his tight grip. With ease, he keeps a hold of the smaller student as he struggles and listen's to Louis' footsteps as the deer walks away.

He tried to attack Louis! Why?

The jaguar rips the wolf's arm from his mouth and frees himself from his grip, his voice harsh and hoarse, like that of a very mad cat being forced to take a bath. "My bad, let go of me!"

However, before he can get away, Legoshi grabs a hold of his tail and yanks him backwards. Successfully, he traps the smaller male in a chokehold, his gums lifting in a snarl.

"Damnit," the jaguar growls," When did Louis hire a bodyguard?!"

"I'm not a bodyguard, I'm a student!" Legoshi responds roughly, throwing the feline to the floor and painfully yanking his tail back. He still has his neck in a chokehold, watching as the jaguar struggles to free himself. "Why? Why were you about to attack Louis, huh?!"

The other carnivore laughs condescendingly, flashing his fangs at the wolf, "If you're just a student, why should I tell you? Just go and do some tricks for Louis!"

He yelps in surprise as Legoshi tightens the hold around his neck, before pinning the smaller feline down with his weight, a dangerously clawed hand now resting on the spotted head. "Ah, Damnit! Okay, okay, I'll tell you!"

The jaguar pants, his eyebrows angrily twitching. "Come on, you're a carnivore. You should know! There are a lot of us out there...who are trying to kill Louis right now."

At this, Legoshi's eyes widen as an ice-cold shiver travels down his spine.

What?

"After the festival, it's pretty much confirmed that Louis' going to be the next beastar. If that happens, that'll surely weaken the carnivores' power. So...that's why I thought I'd make a name for myself by getting to him before all of that." He laughs idiotically, seeking false comfort in the other carnivore. "Hey, you're a wolf. You get it, right?"

But the grey wolf can only attempt to comprehend the severity of the situation, his dark eyes settled onto the body beneath him. His thoughts however, reside with Louis.

He breaks up a brawl between a wolf and a tiger, steals the best girl...and takes time to remember a late fellow student?

On the other hand, I lose control whenever I try to solve anything. I'm a total failure.

Unconsciously, he increases the pressure on the jaguar's head with his claws, causing the feline to sweat nervously. "Okay! I give up!"

I don't have the right to stand in between Y/n's and Louis' relationship. Plus, I'm realizing exactly what it is...what it is I should be doing right now.

Nobody else is worthy of becoming the beastar. If carnivores are his enemy then...then I'll do whatever it takes to protect Louis!

I have to give up on love...because since the beginning-

His thoughts are rudely interrupted when the jaguar lands a hit on his jaw and another on his cheek, running a safe distance away from the canine. "There's no way you can protect by yourself! You idiot!"

Then, he runs off, disappearing behind the next corner like the coward that he is.

Panting, Legoshi holds his throbbing snout. A gloomy glaze crosses his eyes, the dark irises starring daggers into the empty hallway.

Things are more serious than I thought. I need to hurry up and make the decision already. To fully protect Louis.

To do that, I-

He halts when he feels a familiar, wet warmth on his hand. A surprised gasp leaves him as he catches sight of the red liquid coating his fur.

That damn feline scratched his nose.

***

You scream in harmony with the vacuum cleaner as you aggressively sweep it across the floor. It's a small hope, but you thought that maybe, just maybe, a clean room would indeed make you feel better about yourself and your pathetic situation.

Damnit...why couldn't I just stick to fictional characters? They were a lot less complicated to fawn after, that's for sure. I have feelings for a wolf, as the only human in this fucking school, in an extremely racist world.

Urgh...what am I supposed to do?

The sun mockingly shines through the window, her rays tickling your skin. Naturally, you feel exhausted after yesterday's disaster but that doesn't stop you from destroying the dust bunnies all over the dorm.

Should I change my name? Dye my hair and move to a new country? A new planet?!

You excessively inhale, halting in your movements for a moment while the doorknob begins to jiggle.

As it opens and Aisha enters, you're harmonically screaming in tune with the vacuum cleaner again.

Taken aback but astonishingly not surprised, the white Greyhound stares at you before closing the door behind her. With slow, calculated steps, she approaches you in a similar manner one is advised to approach a hungry individual before giving them a snickers bar.

"Y/n?" She asks quietly, trying to get your attention. Not to anyone's shock, you can't hear her with your screaming.

"Y/n!"

"What?!" You shout back, continuing to clean the same spot you've been in for the past two minutes. A forced smile graces your lips when you make eye contact with the canine, giving her a two finger salute. "What's up, Aisha!"

She merely stares at you, the question Why? clear on her face as she stands in front of you, frozen in place and hesitant to come closer. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm violently cleaning the dorm!"

"Why?!"

"Because maybe, it'll distract me from my existential crisis and the oncoming disaster of having emotions!" You grin, brokenly.

She face-palms, glancing around the room before calmly exhaling. "Turn off the vacuum cleaner!"

"What?!" You yell, unable to understand her and basically deaf after all the screaming. "Send you off to Argentina?!"

"No!" She shouts, suppressing her slight grin, "Turn of the vacuum cleaner!"

"Blow off the- Aisha, should I be concerned?!"

With a quick roll of her eyes, she snatches the cleaning device from you and turns it off, leaving the room in relieving silence. She sighs contently, whilst you pout because now, you'd have to find another way to deal with the stress of your, relatively normal situation.

Still childishly scowling, you grab a cardboard box that previously carried Hinari's figurines before she got her neat-looking shrine and a sweater of yours. With a raised eyebrow and growing worry, the white canine watches as you drape the sweater over your head and sit in the cardboard box, your knees pressed against your chest as you silently hum a song from that 'Hamilton' musical you told her about.

"Hey kiddo," she coos softly, making her way towards you and gently placing her hand on your shoulder as she crouches down to your level, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you grumble in response, "I'm fine."

"You're not fine and you know that, "she gently scolds," Now tell me what's wrong before I'll get Legoshi to-"

"No!" She's surprised by your sudden outburst, the moisture in your eyes only increasing her concern, "No."

"Y/n," her tone is kind, yet firm, "What's wrong?"

You don't answer. All you do is hug your knees tighter, burying your face into your skirt, away from the shame. Your mind's going haywire, unable to process this unknown situation properly and honestly, the circumstances are not the best either.

I'm such a mess.

Aisha observes you for a moment. Then, she clicks her tongue and grabs your hands, pulling you out of the box and onto the floor next to her. She sits next to you, your backs leaning against the wooden exterior of your bunk bed, before handing you a ball.

Her eyes twinkle as she hands you the yellow and black sphere, ultimately confirming to you that she is indeed a Hufflepuff. You grin in gratitude, squishing the soft ball in your hands and noting how relieving it felt. Not as relieving as screaming in tune with a vacuum but still, it's nice.

"So," she tries again, her head leaned forward ever so slightly to stare at you with her sweet eyes, "What's going on with you?"

You bite your lip in contemplation.

Should I-? I...I don't really have anyone else to confide in.

But talking about it...makes it seem so real. It makes it harder to ignore, to forget about.

Damnit....I don't know what to do anymore.

Finally, under her affirming, sisterly gaze, you crack.

"Aisha," you begin carefully, your voice meagre and quiet, "What would you do if you liked someone but if you were to pursue that...crush.... You'd potentially destroy their entire future and keep them from choosing the right path for themselves?"

A look of confusion crosses her face for a moment and she ponders for a few seconds.

"This is about Legoshi, isn't it?"

Damnit. She knows me better than I thought.

"Shit," You chuckle humourlessly, "I can't get anything past you, huh?"

"No, you can't." She responds. "But that explains the screaming. And your whole I want to bury myself alive type of mood."

You stay silent, gaze fixed on the small ball in your hand as you squeeze it once more.

"I think," she says with deep glance at your dim expression, "you should let him make his own decisions. Let him decide on his own what he wants to do with his life. If he wants to try having a...relationship and isn't interested in the 'right path' so to speak, then that's his decision."

"But it would probably destroy all his chances at a great life." You argue. "I don't...I don't have the right to take all of that away. He could have it all; a great reputation, status, a great relationship with another grey wolf that isn't a fuck-up like me and-"

"Y/n!" The canine beside you interrupts you sternly. "You are not a fuck-up!"

You chuckle dryly, your grip on the ball tightening and your brows furrowing, "Oh trust me, I am. Just look at me, I'm- I don't...He deserves someone who won't hold him back, who won't have a panic attack every fucking second! Someone who isn't so fucking afraid all the time! Someone who belongs into this shit-show of a world!"

"He can make his own decisions, Y/n! You don't have to carry the weight of someone's future on your shoulders!" Aisha exclaims. "And you couldn't hold him back even if you tried! I know you and I know how much you care about him. You would give everything in your power to help him achieve his dreams." Slowly, a grim realization dawns on her. "Even sacrificing your own happiness. But Y/n-"

"I don't know why I'm making such a big deal about it anyways," you cut her off, running a hand through your dishevelled hair, "We're just friends, nothing more."

"Just friends don't look at each other like that," her soft voice sounds from beside you. You stay silent, glaring at the soft sphere in the palm of your hand and suppressing the tears that threaten to leave your eyes. You don't want to cry again.

"You're like a sister to me, you know that right?" You nod. "So then, you'll have to believe me when I tell you, that no one would make that damn wolf happier than you. I know that mixed-species relationships are looked down upon but that doesn't mean they're wrong or...or shouldn't happen. Just because society doesn't like it, doesn't mean you should throw everything away before your love could even bloom."

"It's not just society though," you admit, your voice beginning to break under the pressure of your own mind," It's...It's me, as well. Yes, I'm mainly concerned that if he actually likes me and we begin a relationship, that he'll lose so many opportunities just because of me, but there's so much he doesn't know about me. Stuff that...that would destroy everything we built together."

It's silent for a moment and you refuse to meet Aisha's eyes. Then, a white hand enters your vision as she moves to sit in front of you and lifts your chin. Despite wanting to avoid it, your eyes meet hers, their comforting gleam threatening to break your walls almost instantly.

"Y/n," she begins gently, "What do you feel for Legoshi?"

"I...."

You don't want to say it out-loud. Saying it, hearing it in your own voice, would make it all too real. It would make it harder to ignore, to bury in the depths of your mind. Aisha's warm eyes sparkle with compassion, her hand wandering to grab a hold of yours.

A few stray tears finally break past your barrier and stream down your cheeks.

"I think I'm in love with him, Aisha."

She smiles at you, her eyes wise and comforting. "See, that wasn't so hard now, was it?"

"Don't worry, Y/n. You guys will be fine." The canine giggles, her hand squeezing yours in a playful manner as her eyes meet yours. "Besides, what could be so bad, that it would keep that love-struck wolf away from you?"

You don't think before you speak.

"I'm dead, Aisha."

Like someone slapped her across the face, she stares at you. Her mouth is agape, her expression neutral and shocked as her hand grows tense on yours.

"What?"

I need this burden off of my chest.

Quickly, you unbutton the front of your uniform before dragging the fabric down, showcasing your bullet wounds.

"I'm dead."

****

Yeehaw homies! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

I'm sorry for the cliffhanger but it had to be done! I'm evil, I'm sorry!

Also sorry that this chapter is a day later than promised. Hopefully, it won't happen again.

So, the MC finally told someone that she's dead, huh? Wonder how that will go ┐( ∵ )┌ I was contemplating on whether or not I wanted Aisha to know but I felt like this was the right time to do it. Also, we said the L word so yay, the ship's close to sailing, homies!

I'm still trying to figure out some things regarding the final episodes (the  Shishigumi and all) because there's a fine line between cringey and cool and obviously, I'm trying to be cool with the writing and the actions of the MC.

I'll figure it out eventually though, don't y'all worry!

Anyways, what's your Hogwarts house?

I'm a Slytherpuff so basically, I'm an abomination in the eyes of everything holy and that's all I strive for in life.

Also, if y'all want any more Beastars fanfiction, I advise you to check out 'An oddity among Beasts' by CrowR1. It's not an xreader but it's a human MC and it's an awesome story. Surprisingly, it also kind of relates to this one in a way but I won't spoil anything. Like I said, I advise y'all to check it out if you haven't already. The MC's a guy too, which is lacking in the fanfiction departement.

I hope y'all are safe and sound right now because the numbers are rising againಠ﹏ಠ!

See you in Chapter 32!