Read author's note at the end, please!

"Please let go of me," you utter and not even you can recognize your own voice. It's cold and dead...like a corpse, "I don't feel like taking the train anymore."

But Legoshi refuses to let go of you, instead tightening his grip around your arm. It doesn't hurt but it certainly doesn't help the panic growing in your veins.

"No, not yet. We have more to talk about, "he conveys, leaning closer to you as you still refuse to look at him. You can't deal with the humiliation, the memories or the goddamn fear that now rules every single drop of blood in your body.

"No we don't," you retort, tears escaping your eyes, "I was just being honest. Please let me go."

"I know but-"

"Don't lecture me when you don't know shit, wolfie," you hiss and attempt to pull your arm free once more, "Now let me go, damnit!"

"Just don't run from me," he pleads, his grip refusing to budge.

"What's going on with you?!" you begin to sob, still yanking at your trapped limb, "I said let go of me, damnit!"

"No way!"

"I said let me the fuck go, Legoshi!" You shout, your eyes still cast onto the dirty ground of the metro station as the tears stream down your face. You can hear your heartbeat; all you can hear is your heartbeat and that fucking white noise while it overthrows every other frequency around you. The fear rips you apart from the inside, the terror consumes every cell in your body and you can't breathe.

I think...

I think I'm having a panic attack.

"No!" You barely register Legoshi's shout of protest.

"Are you harassing her?!" Naturally, your argument caught the attention of other animals and a small crowd forms around the two of you. Immediately, they bombard the grey wolf in front of you with accusations, none of which are true. He's not harassing you. He's dense and won't let go of you but how should he know what you're going through right now? What kind of friend would he be if he just let you run off on your own in a dark, strange place like this?

"Is there another large sized carnivore around?!" You hear someone yell, most likely for someone to force Legoshi away from you. If you could catch a breath or even a clear thought, you would tell them that you don't need protection from him. He's not a threat.

However, your memories are.

The crowd does not help your scared state, on the contrary, you feel trapped. There's a crowd, there's so many people, just like back then. You can't run, you can't hide, there's no escape and oh my god, she's right there on the other side of the tracks! Get me out, get me out, get me out, please get me the fuck out!

Black spots begin to dance around the edges of your vision as a security guard screams at the grey wolf. "Wolf! What are you doing?! Explain yourself!"

"We were just having an argument," he tries to reason, the grip around your arm softening ever so slightly, "I- uh...I wasn't trying to do anything-"

It's enough for your alarmed body to rip yourself free and grab his wrist, running away from the security and the ghosts of your past. You don't think anymore, you just run. Run, run, run; run and get the fuck away from here!

The guard chases after you and the adrenaline in your veins urges you to sprint faster, almost tripping in the process.

"Why are we running?" Legoshi asks confused from behind you, "They'll be even more suspicious!"

"I don't care, these days a carnivore can be arrested just for breathing the wrong way! Just run, you dimwit!"

It's not the only reason the two of you are fleeing the scene; your mind is still going haywire and you're sure that you're going to collapse the second you stop running.

Run, get out, get away from the tracks, keep running!

"H-Hey, careful! I might kick you!"

"You...you're really difficult to figure out, you know!" you shout, tears blurring your vision, "I don't know what's going on with you today! I can't tell if you're sensitive or just plain rude!"

Don't collapse, don't think, keep running. Don't collapse, don't think, just keep fucking running!

"Actually I'm just," he pants, "trying to figure things out myself. You and I are different in so many ways, we really need to talk it out!"

"Great but for that to happen we need to avoid getting arrested," you yell back, "So get to the goddamn front and run as fast as you can, Legoshi!"

"Come on, hurry!" You tug at his wrist, dragging him with you as you whisk past numerous civilians. The guard is still following you but to be perfectly honest, he's not the thing you're fleeing from. For you, you're running from the memory of your killer, the woman with the gun. Because every time you glance to the other side of the tracks, she's there, pointing that horrible weapon at you.

Your lungs burn for air and your side hurts terribly from running but you can't stop. Not now, not until you're safe and away from the tracks. You're so disconnected from reality, that you only notice the wolf's long legs surpassing your own when he's already in front of you. He gently shakes your grip from his wrist and takes your hand instead. His hand is warm and quickly becomes your anchor to reality, to safety.

Just like you demanded, he sprints at full speed and drags you with him. Legoshi's determined to get the both of you to safety.

Right now, I'm declaring myself as a wolf...in front of my very first crush.

I-I don't know where this will lead. I don't know how it's going to look. But a path is opening up for me, I just have to...

He peers back at you, catching the tears in your eyes but nonetheless, you send him a smile. Because right now, he's your only safe haven; he's your light in the darkness.

I just have to keep moving forward!

***

"Where did they go?"

The guard's footsteps shuffle through the bathroom and you slap your hand over your mouth to keep from making any noise. You're panting heavily, unable to catch a real breath, and you know that you're going to be absolutely lost in your terror any second now. It takes every piece of energy in you to fight the urge to wail and collapse, to sob and cry your heart out until you can't feel anything anymore.

But you don't. The only good it would do, is get you and Legoshi caught by the security guards.

The wolf and you are hiding in a bathroom stall, huddled together on the toilet so the guard can't see your feet. Legoshi's behind you, holding onto the walls and just as out of breath as you. Every limb of yours trembles and your own heartbeat fills your ears, pumping faster than you can count.

Still covering your mouth, you glance at Legoshi and see his long, cream coloured snout right beside your head as he pants. Every now and then, you catch a glimpse of his pearl-white fangs that mark him as a carnivore. Your gaze wanders further and onto his large, clawed hand that rests on the bathroom stall's wall on the other side of your head. His muscles are tense, trying not to move and make any sort of sound that could alert the guard in the room.

Despite refusing to let me go earlier...now, he goes out of his way to not touch me. I'm not sure if I appreciate it or if I want him to touch me right now. Anything to keep me focused.

Your breath, uneven and not fulfilling your aching lungs' desire for oxygen, hitches when the feline guard crouches to look under the stalls.

"Hey, they went over there!" Another guard calls from outside and you internally sigh in relief at the ironic rescue.

"What? But I swore I-" The guard grumbles, before hastily moving to the exit, "I'm coming!"

As soon as the door closes behind him, you rip your hand from your lips and heave, trying to take in as much air as you can.

Holy shit.

"H-Hey," you whisper with a quivering, weak voice, "should we get out?"

You want to get up and leave the stall but another, much bigger part of you refuses to move. Your fear has finally caught up to you and now that you can't keep fighting it, your panic attack hits you with full force.

"Y/n," His voice is so close to your ear and for the first time, you notice the deep, guttural growl behind it as he speaks, "Even at this moment, do you feel out of place, like you don't belong? Do you feel like you're close to dying?"

You don't answer, your vocal chords shutting down as the lump in your throat grows bigger, urging you to scream, to wail or to just hide and never crawl out ever again. It's almost impossible to breathe and freezing yet scorching hot sweat coats your skin. White noise fills your ears, like always, drowning you in the memories of the train station, of your death.

You squeeze your eyes shut and break into tears once more as you slam your hand flat against the wall, right beneath Legoshi's. Your fingers curl and uncurl, tensing and begging to hold onto something for support. A whimper leaves your closed lips and you can't hold still but neither can you move from your position.

This catches Legoshi's full attention as his concerned eyes find your terrified, small form. Your mouth opens in a silent scream, your legs twitching and stiffly kicking the air. You want to hit something, you want to hit yourself and rip out your hair in order to keep connected to reality.

Everything is so loud! It's too much, all of it's too much! I can't handle it, I want to go home!

Home, home, I want to go home!

I can't breathe, everything hurts! Breathe damnit, breathe! Why can't I hear anything?!

Legoshi's unsure of how to react. Are you scared of him? Should he comfort you or would that only make it worse? What is he supposed to do?!

Another whimper leaves your lips, every muscle in your body is strained to the limit; you're ready to run yet you can't move as the world closes in on you. Quiet tears burn your skin and Legoshi's ears drop as he sees your fearful state.

"Y/n? Y/n, what's going on?"

But you can't hear him or at least not fully. You hear a slip of his voice and in an attempt to steady yourself, the hand that rests against the wall frantically twitches to touch his.

That's all he needs.

The young wolf's not sure if it's an instinct or because of his feelings for you, but he immediately wraps his strong arms around your small, quivering form. His hand moves to grab yours and you take this opportunity to intertwine your fingers with his and hold the bundle close to your body. You squeeze your legs against your torso, pressing yourself as close to the canine as possible and relishing in his body heat.

The instant sobs that shake your body draw a worried, instinctual whimper from him; it's his body's primal attempt to calm you down. You're still hyperventilating, squeezing his hand in an almost painful way.

"Shh, Y/n, it's okay," he soothes you, his chin touching your temple, "It's okay. I'm here, you're safe. I'm not letting anything happen to you, you're going to be okay, I promise!"

Slowly but surely, his words fight through your mental barriers. Your breathing is still uneven but you stop hyperventilating. Legoshi's warm fur on your skin reminds you that you're not alone. You're not at the station, you're not there with her, you're not alone. You're safe.

I'm safe. Legoshi's here with me. I'm safe. She's not here, there are no tracks. I'm safe.

Sobs continue to rattle your body for a while longer but the last tears begin to fall. Your panic attack is coming to its end, leaving you with exhaustion, patchy skin and a sore throat. Eventually, your breathing reaches its normal pattern and you lean your head against his chest, closing your tired eyes for a few seconds.

Inhale. Exhale.

You're still trembling and it's fucking freezing but now, all of that is due to fatigue and not because of terror. Legoshi doesn't say anything as he sits behind you, his arms still around you and his hand intertwined with yours. He exhales a sigh of relief when he feels the tight grip of your fingers let up and knows that the both of you have thankfully overcome this obstacle. Still, he doesn't want to let you go just yet.

Slowly, your legs relax and your feet fall back to the ground, your e/c eyes staring at the door in front of you. The bundle of your intertwined hands falls into your lap and you begin to rub soft circles on his hand with your thump.

"Thank you, Legoshi," you whisper, your voice hoarse yet soft like his fur.

"N-No problem," he answers, obviously flustered. Nonetheless, he's happy, now that you're okay. "We should head out now, we need to get the next train."

Wordlessly, you nod. Even though you wanted to stay like this just a little while longer.

Miraculously, you guys managed to catch the next train without any further incidents. You had to run to catch it, Legoshi taking the lead once more and thanks to his speed, you squeezed yourselves inside just as the doors were about to close. There was no time for memories, no time to be caught by the security.

Unfortunately, the train was packed. That meant you had to stand the whole ride, with Legoshi dutifully shielding you from any other animal. He was leaning over you, shyly staring down at you as you held onto his arm, seeing as there were no other things to hold on to, to steady yourself on the train. It was awkward but you'd be lying if you said you didn't find it cute.

You decided to take one last break to sit down at a park near the Academy. So now, the two of you are sitting on a wooden bench beneath the midnight blue sky, each a water bottle in your hands. Your gaze follows the happy couples that pass you, wondering if you and Legoshi have any chances to be like that as well, at least in the future. Or maybe, the two of you were doomed from the start.

"So...," his tone is unsure and he visibly gulps, his Adam's apple bopping, "What happened earlier? In the bathroom?"

You're quiet for a moment, your eyes staring at the water in your bottle as it moves around just like your restless mind.

Now, how do I say this without sounding like a lunatic? I can't just tell him "Hey, I'm dead and now I'm traumatized and can't go near train stations", he's going to think I'm insane and won't want to be near me ever again. I...I wouldn't be able to deal with that.

Finally, your eyes find his.

Well, I don't have to tell him the whole truth, do I?

"I had a panic attack," you blurt out, which shocks the wolf. Sure, he had suspected that much but for you to tell him just like that....it worries him how normal this seems to you.

"I...Something really bad happened to me at a train station a while back. I don't really want to talk about it, I'd rather just...try to forget it. But that's why I didn't want to ride the train anymore, after we talked about that assault shit."

"And then I wouldn't let go...," he fills in the blanks, his ears dropping guiltily, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have forced you to stay."

"You're right, you shouldn't have. But I'm also thankful because who knows what would've happened had I gone off on my own," you whisper, "And when that crowd gathered around us, I knew what was happening. That's why I ran. I wanted to get away and just run away from my problems like always."

"Sadly," you lift your bottle, taking a sip, "there are some problems you just can't run from. The panic attack hit me full force once the guard was gone. Thanks again, for comforting me."

"N-No problem," he stutters, flustered at my gratitude, "I'm happy I could help."

It's silent again, before he turns back to you with worried eyes and slightly lowered ears. "You talk about it so casually. H-How often do you have those attacks?"

"I don't really keep track of them, "you answer honestly, "but since I started attending Cherryton Academy, there were a lot more of them. The worst one was when you and Bill had that fight on stage."

He mutters a quiet apology and you softly bump your fist against his shoulder, "Stop apologizing, idiot."

His gaze rests on your form sitting next to him, staring at the greenery in front of you.

It wouldn't be fair to hide it any longer. I have to tell her about that night. Right now might be the best time.

"I-"

"So," you accidently interrupt him," Actually, I was almost devoured by a carnivore a while ago. That's what caused one of my panic attacks early on. I couldn't handle the stress and the new environment."

You don't notice how Legoshi does stiff next to you. "I didn't see who it was and I honestly don't remember a lot from that night. I think my brain knows I'm already fucked up, no need to add more bullshit to the bunch. It was at school. Remember the bandage on my arm when you came to the gardening club for those roses?" You point to your arm, tracing the light, almost invisible scars.

That was...

"I lied and said I didn't remember how it happened because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. It was...it was also a lot easier to act like it never happened."

I gave you that wound.

Frustrated, the wolf crushed his water bottle.

I can't tell her.

"I'm glad I didn't die that night. It gave me the chance to become your friend. Don't worry," Surprised, his tail rises and begins to wag softly when you lean against him and rest your head against his shoulder, "I'm not scared of you. I feel safe around you, I promise. And I don't necessarily blame the carnivore either, they were just following their instincts to hunt. I think me being a human and not being part of anyone's menu actually helped me get out of it alive. Hey, cheer up! Smile a little, will you?"

No, now is not the time. If I tell her...that would be the end of us.

Until then... I'll just keep on punishing myself.

"Y/n!" He calls out to you as you reach the gate to the Academy and you turn to him, "today, well....thanks for everything."

Your giggle brings butterflies to his stomach as you hold his gaze with your own twinkling pools of e/c. "I should be thanking you, wolfie. You offered to go home with me after all and then you helped me during my panic attack. You're a real gentleman, you know? Now smile!"

"Huh? Smile?"

More laughter bubbles out of you as you see his confused expression, "Is it really that hard? Come on, I know you can do it, buddy!"

Just a little longer. Can I walk in the light with you just a little longer? 

****

Eyo, it is I! I hope you enjoyed this Chapter!

Now, THIS IS IMPORTANT!

I am going on vacation with my family for the next three weeks. Of course, that means I'll be spending more time with my family and relaxing. Therefore, the update schedule for the next three weeks will be every three or every four days. I'll try to stay on track with every three days but I'll put my family first here and won't promise anything besides that, at the latest, there'll be an update every four days. Now, there's also the question of whether or not my internet will be enough to update here. We're going camping in france and most camping spots don't really have free Internet access and my parents don't really want to pay for that. So now I'm hoping that a hotspot will be enough to transfer the text from my laptop onto wattpad because if I had to write it all on my phone, this would be a disaster.

This is the plan though.

Hope y'all aren't mad ⊙﹏⊙

Anyways though, regarding the chapter, I'm pretty sure the MC is going to kill me one day for all the suffering I put her through. Don't worry child, do it for Lego-D! It'll be worth it in the end!

I'm going off of my own experiences with panic attacks (cause social anxiety sucks ass) but I am aware that they're different for everyone.

Now unrelated to the story, I watched a disneynature documentary about Penguins and they legit named our homeboy penguin Steve! Steve's first year as an adult consisted of being late for the group walk of the males to the mating and nesting place, building a neat nest out of stones, scoring a wife, having two kids and keeping them safe until they were old enough to survive on their own.

Steve's a legend and y'all can't change my mind!

Anyways, I hope y'all are safe and healthy in this Quarantine bitch and hopefully not running from the law (unless it's a bad law)!

See you in Chapter 28!