When Louis wakes next it's 4am, Harry and Scott are sleeping peacefully. Louis gets up quietly and moves towards the front of the bakery. He looks out the windows and sees the storm seems to have let up. He slowly puts his shoes on, not wanting to make any noise and wake Harry and Scott up. He puts them on, grabs his jacket and quietly heads out into the snow.

At this point Louis doesn't care how bad the storm is or how hard it is to make his way through the snow. He needs to get back home, he needs to leave and head back to London. He can't believe he admitted what he did to Harry and Scott, he had a moment of weakness and it scared him. He just needs to get out of this town and away from the memories, Christmas or not, he's leaving.

He makes it home, grabs the spare key and heads inside. The house is quiet and he makes it to his room, packs his bag, orders a car and leaves a note in record time. Thankfully the private car service is in operation and he can make it out. 20 minutes later, he's leaving and the further away he gets from Holmes Chapel and easier it is to breathe.

Scott and Harry wake to the sound of the bakery door closing. They don't make a move to run after Louis, they understand he needs his space.

Scott sighs.

"I feel terrible for him" he tells Harry.

"I know, I hope we didn't scare him off" Harry says.

"I don't think so, I think we just need to show him we aren't going anywhere and what he told us has not changed how we see him" Scott says.

"Agreed, let's drop around after Christmas lunch, make sure he's okay and give him his present" Harry says.

"Do you think it's weird, I feel like we've known him for years already, it's comfortable and, I want us to be around him, and to spoil him and make him feel loved. Last night was amazing with him" Scott confesses.

"I feel the same, maybe it's because we've known the boys for so long, He's just so easy to be around and everything in me wants to make him happy, it's like my goal is to make him smile" Harry replies.

Scott smiles at Harry, glad they are both on the same page.

They slowly get up, clean up the lounge and turn the fireplace and Christmas tree lights off. They too make their way out of the bakery, making sure it's all locked up.

They step outside and see the street littered with snow, their car too. Other than that, you wouldn't even know there was a snowstorm the night before.

The boys hope Louis made it home okay and make a note to text him when they get home.

The roads are slippery but they finally make it home by 7am, ready to spend Christmas with their families and excited to see Louis later on.

Louis arrives at the airport, he booked his flight on the way, as he's getting into his seat on the airplane he gets a message from Scott and Harry.

"We hope you made it home okay, thank you for a great night. If we were to be stuck in a bakery for the night we're glad it was with someone...not annoying" Harry writes with a winky face on the end.

Louis can't help the small smile that forms, he feels a little guilty that he's leaving without telling anyone, but it's for the best.

As he sits down in his seat, another message comes though.

"We are looking forward to seeing you again tonight for drinks at the boys" Scott writes.

Louis turns his phone off, he hates disappointing people and feeling guilty all the time. His life for the last four years has been nothing but guilt, he just wants a break but knows he doesn't deserve one.

The flight is bumpy the whole way home, he actually wishes Scott and Harry were next to him again, they seem to have a knack for calming him, he looks to the flight attendants throughout the flight though and they are all smiling so he relaxes a little.

Louis isn't going to lie to himself, last night was incredible and for the first time in four years he felt completely at peace, at ease and happy. Harry and Scott were every bit the gentlemen but they were dominant and just the amount of rough that Louis didn't know he needed or wanted.

He has to leave them in the past though, one night of bliss is all he will allow himself, it wouldn't go anywhere anyway. They would soon become annoyed, bored, or sick of him, like most of his past relationships have. Not that he's had many, but they were all the same. They started out great and then turned to shit when his partners figured out he wasn't good enough and told him so. Louis put an end to dating and that was a year ago.

It's Christmas, so there isn't alot of people in the airport when he lands thankfully. He gets a cab pretty quickly and refuses to turn his phone back on until he's in his apartment. He knows the boys will have blown up his phone by now.

Louis apartment is a two bedroom in a cute part of London, it's small and quiet, like he likes and it's not too far from work, which works out well as he walks the 30 minutes there and back every day. It's great in summer but can be freezing in the winter time, especially when It's raining but Louis won't complain, the rent is cheap and it's clean, The apartment is on the third floor and overlooks a nice park.

Considering Smith and Leon still have him on a starting salary of 20k a year, he's thankful for the place. The boys have of course offered to pay for a better place, have offered many times, but Louis declines every single time. They don't need to pay for anything, considering he ruined their lives.

By the time Louis makes it back to his apartment he's exhausted, he stumbles in and doesn't even bother with unpacking his suitcase. He has a long shower and makes himself a tea. He sits on his couch in front of the Christmas tree and sighs. He eventually works up the courage to turn his phone back on, and when he does, as expected, the boys are blowing up his phone with texts and calls.

"Louis, please call us"

"We just need to make sure you're okay"

"What's happened"

"Please call us as soon as you can"

Are just some of the messages from the boys in their group chat.

He doesn't expect the messages from Harry and Scott though.

"Lou, if we did anything to make you uncomfortable we are so sorry, please can we just talk" Harry writes.

"We didn't mean to make you upset Lou, we are so sorry, please just let us know you're okay" Scott texts.

Louis knows he has to reply, he doesn't want the boys to worry.

"I'm fine, landed back in London. I'm home now. Thanks for the last few days and making my birthday special. Love you all, I'll call later in the week. Merry Christmas" Louis texts the boys.

"Louis, you can't just take off like that, we were so worried" Drew replies.

"I left a note" Louis says.

"It's Christmas Louis, there was so much more we wanted to do and say we wanted to spend more time with you" Edward writes.

"Sorry, I really am, I'll make it home again soon" Louis says, and the boys know it's a lie.

"Does this have anything to do with Harry and Scott?" Andy asks .

Louis sighs, he could always just tell the truth.

"No, I just needed to be home, something came up at work" Louis says.

The boys don't push, they don't want to argue with Louis it's Christmas.

"We understand, Merry Christmas, we love you" Drew writes.

"Enjoy your Christmas present, it's in your study" Edward tells him.

"We love you kid" Andy writes.

Louis is confused, he gets up off the couch and heads for the study. He opens the door and his breath gets caught in his throat,

Inside the boys have somehow managed to have his dads old drawing desk refurbished and delivered, it's sitting in his office. He can't believe it.

His dad was an amazing architect and Louis looked up to him so much, he always said Louis could have his desk when he became an architect too. Louis had always wanted to follow in his footsteps and they would bond over designs and drawings. Louis dad knew how talented he was going to be and was his biggest supporter, to have this drawing desk means the absolute world.

He lets out yet another tear, the boys are so wonderful to him, they know him so well and to do something like this just makes him question everything. Why does he deserve them in his life, they are just to good to him.

Louis runs his hand over the desk, realising it has every indent his dad ever made still on in. It's absolutely amazing.

"I don't even know what to say or how to thank you, it's perfect. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you" Louis texts the boys.

"Merry Christmas you deserve it Lou" he receives back.

Louis turns the light off and heads to the couch again.

He needs to stop crying, he's so used to blocking out his emotions and every time he goes home, they just seem to come out.

He pulls up Harry and Scott's group chat knowing he has to reply to them.

"You didn't make me uncomfortable, I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for unloading on you about the crash, I'm sorry for running, I'm sorry for it all really. I just don't think now is the right time for whatever this situation-ship is. I'm not someone you want around right now, I'm just all over the place. I might see you next Christmas, enjoy the rest of your break" Louis writes back to Harry and Scott.

To say Harry and Scott are disappointed is an understatement

"He's pushing us away" Scott says as he puts his phone down and leans back on the couch. he and Harry are at the boys house. When they arrived the boys told them Louis had left and they both feel extremely upset that they could have been the cause.

"What happened between you guys?" Drew asks carefully.

Harry and Scott look towards each other, they really don't want the boys to be pissed at them, they don't want to lose their friendship.

"Oh, OH, you guys, what? Like last night?" Andy says in realisation.

"No way!" Edward says.

"Was he upset about it?" Drew asks a little defensively of Louis. He hopes Harry and Scott haven't hurt him or Drew won't hesitate to hurt Harry and Scott, no matter how much he loves them.

"No, Drew, we would never, ever hurt Louis. It was an incredible night, we really really like him. We wanted more with him" Scott says.

"Then, what happened?" Drew asks.

The boys sigh

"He had a nightmare, about 1am, he tried to leave. He was sweating and so scared, it was awful the poor thing" Harry tells them.

"He gets nightmares a lot, and they tend to be worse around the holidays and when he comes home"'Andy tells them.

"We stopped him from leaving and calmed him down, he was okay, still shaking and in shock but okay. We then encouraged him to open up and he did" Scott says.

"What do you mean he opened up?" Andy asks bewildered.

"We mean he told us about the accident and the nightmares" Harry says, slight confusion in his voice.

The boys then look to each other in complete disbelief.

"What?" Scott asks.

"Louis has never told a single sole about the accident" Drew tells them.

"What do you mean?" Harry asks.

"We mean, he's never told a single person. Not the police, not the doctors, not his phycologist and not even us" Edward says.

"What?" Harry asks confused.

"He must trust you big time boys, that's not a small thing. We've been trying to get him to open up for four years, he's seen so many doctors and he just closes up, pushes it all away. His recent psycologist Kimberly, nearly got him to open up but in the end he shut down" Drew says.

"We know eventually it will all come out and we haven't wanted to pressure him, but this is his first step to healing" Andy says and he sounds a little relieved.

"But we think that's why he ran, why he won't talk to us. He must be upset at telling us" Harry says.

"Because he's never opened up before and he's scared to trust you, he doesn't know what you're going to do with the information. He's scared" Andy says.

Harry and Scott look to each other and then back to the boys.

"We would never do anything with the information, what he told us, what he went through was awful and we just want to be there for him. He's worried we will think less of him" Scott says.

"And do you?" Drew asks.

"No, never, not at all" Harry and Scott say.

"Good, then you need to show him that, if you're serious about Louis, you'll show him that" Drew tells them.

Harry and Scott nod, they agree and as soon as they get back to London they will be working out how to do just that.