[Trigger warning... Suicide brought up, depressing. You have been warned. It's your choice now.]

All of it.

All the lies. The insults. The pain. The denial. The betrayal. The loss.

The darkness.

It consumed me.

It didn't take long. After twenty days of its growth it threw me over. I couldn't control it. With all the happiness I could muster, I fought back but it won without a fuck given. As though it was usual. All too usual.

It destroyed me.

Then how darkness intensified when I became aware of my body.

Not only was I a freak, but I was the worst kind. Sure, my eyes are pretty but I'm not.

I'm terrible.

The darkness made the wounds deeper than they wanted to be. The darkness made even the playful insults feel like a knife dragging itself slowly across my heart.

I though I'd never ever escape. I even contemplated suicide to get away from it. Then I realized it would grab my soul and I would be more vulnerable.

I slowly did not speak another word in fear that it would take over and lace my thoughts with poison.

I hide it. Way too well. No one suspected it. They thought it went away. They thought it had disappeared but it became so powerful that I do things that I have no control over.

The blades became addicting. The external pain mulled the internal perfectly. But it wasn't healthy. I didn't help after a while. The first time was near euphoric. I fell asleep with a smile on my face for the first one because the pain was lessened. But like all addictions. You try to chance the feeling you got the first time.

I tried therapy but I never helped.

I tried recreation. I attempted to let the feelings flow from my body as the felt free but I just led to crying and cutting.

I tried to let the feelings out through my voice but that didn't do much.

I tried to let it control my body in some sort of darkness dance where my body showed emotion vibrantly. Then I remembered I can't dance.

I attempted art. Tried to let the sadness show itself through a canvas.

Problem is I still need to be aware and the feelings won't just take control as well as the used to do.

They seemed to have deeply rooted themselves into me to the point where I couldn't draw them out. They came out when I needed them the least.

That's when he came along.

Him.

Mitch.

His beauty at first glance shot something through my heart that could only be visually be described as pink aura.

I call love the pink aura.

It seems to surround my heart and brain and battle the darkness fearlessly when he comes near me.

Then finally, he kissed me.

His poured every emotion in the existence of time into that one kiss and it completely obliterated the darkness.

All that is there now is the pink aura. It grows drastically ever single day.

He is my world. My light.

I know that he won't but if he were to leave me. The pain of heartbreak itself would leave me.

If the pink aura that saved me were to leave, the darkness would hit me to the point where I would physically stumble and die instantly.

He was there when I needed him and he helped more than I thought possible.

Now I'm free. I feel amazing.

I can smile genuinely without the fear that darkness will seep out.

I see people that I used to be like. Sad. Made to be darkness' bitch.

Not anymore. I hope those people find a 'Him' of their own.

This him?

He is mine.

He saved me and he doesn't even know it.

He did all of this without even trying.

He could dominate existence itself if he actually tried. But I'm happy that he didn't try in me because he saved this soul.

He grabbed darkness by it's throat and threw it into space to die.

For that, I'm grateful that LOVE stepped in.