Thank you so much for all the votes and the comments, it means a lot to me. And for the ones who read on IF, chapter 11 has been updated.

The dinner was a quiet affair. She sat next to his empty chair, stirring her food with her fork, staring into nothingness and let an exhilarant sigh when her eyes caught notice of the door of their room, his room. Knowing, that he wouldn't come downstairs, knowing that she was expecting too much from him and settling her heart for more disappointment.

Preeti elbowed Pushkar who looked at his sister-in- law cum best friend. He could tell by the forlorn look on her face that something was amiss. He was aware of the fact that she wasn't getting much sleep, the bags under her eyes visible now.

Lately, she spent all her nights taking care of Shravan, who was completely oblivious to the fact.

She mindlessly continued to stir her food in a murderous way.

Tonight was different. She looked exhausted like she was tired of life, like she had fought with all her resources without getting rewarded and he could see the longing in her eyes when her gaze lingered on the empty seat next to her.

Sumo had always been a role model in his life, he had always admired her for being so strong. Especially the way she never let her circumstances affect her willpower.

The admiration was mingled with a certain sense of protection, so now when she had her shoulders plumped down, her head bowed down and her eyes twitching every now and then like she was fighting tears, he had the urge to say something but he knew that words would not be enough. She was a fighter but when it came to his brother, it's like she stopped functioning altogether.

Everyone seemed to notice how lost she looked. Lala Ji joked a little bit, to lighten the atmosphere Kamini chachi joined him, Ramnath Uncle appreciated the food but she could only force herself to smile, the heart wasn't there.

Vandy Bhabin urged her to eat and even served her sev ki sabzi, his favorite. She smiled at the memory, she remembered the lunches they had shared together, and how he used to get his plate filled again and again with it, how gingerly he used to gulp down down the whole dish, not letting anything for others. It seemed like another lifetime to her.

She tried to eat but she couldn't get herself to swallow, the food would get stuck in her throat and the only thing she could think about were his words and his eyes and all the events kept playing in her mind over and over again.

Had he eaten? The thought just made her already poor appetite vanish.

She excused herself and went into the kitchen. The situation slowly dawning on her. It happened weeks ago, just after the announcement of Aditya and her wedding. She had seen it, she had perceive it in his eyes, the sense of betrayal, the hurt but she decided to act blind, not to care, to push it back in a corner of her mind.

If only, she had gone behind him that day, said something, anything to stop him but at that moment she was too blinded by her ego and him by his hurt.

She should have never pushed him the way she did. But then she was bounded, by her debts, by the several favors that had been bestowed on her as an orphan. Sometimes it looks like her existence revolved only around that, the favors.

How was he supposed to know ?
It sure didn't justify any of his actions but she now understood him, Shravan never hurt her just for the sake of it, unlike her belief, he was always driven to the point of no return. No matter how much he denies, she had seen it in his eyes, he could never hurt her without hurting himself, like their hearts were bound by a force.

If one would break the other was already in pieces and they lay together on the floor.

"Sumo." Someone called her name.

"Pushkar, kya huwa kuch chahiye tha tujhe?" He had a small smile playing on his face like always but it seemed like he had the urge to ask her something.

"Kuch nahi. Tu bata, kaisi hai tu. Aaj kal nazar hi nahi aarahi."

"I am okay. Bas tu janta hai Shravan..." Just mentioning his name was like a pang to her heart.

"Accha sun mera ek kaam karega?"

"Haazir bhabi ji aap hukum to dijiye." He bowed down in a dramatic way, her lips twitched in a soft smile, just a tug at the corner of her lips.

"Pushkar, wo mujhe thoda kaam hai, tu Shravan ko check kar ka aayega, please?" She didn't like the way he was looking at her, like something was cooking in that sharp brain of his.

It reminded her of the day, he had come to her PCT, claiming that Shravan and her were beyond 'just friends' and now she realized how different were her equations with all these people and how messed up their lives had become.

"Ye bhi koi puchne wali baat. Accha, sun I don't mean to pry, but is everything fine between the two of you?" He inquired, he didn't want to disturb her, he just wanted everything to be sorted out between the two of them.

If anyone deserved their chance at happiness, then it was the two of them, more than anyone.

Her eyes turned softer, the arrow had touched its aim. "Of course, sab theek hai, tu tension mat le." She continued to do what she was doing, he noticed her hands wavering.

"Tu jhoot bol rahi hai, tujhe kya lagta hai tu bolegi nahi to kisi ko nazar nahi aayega." His voice raised.

She looked up at him. Of course, he would notice out of all the people. He was a lawyer after all.

"Bola na sab theek hai tu zyada mat soch aur jaa, dekh kar aa usse. Please." She didn't want anyone to worry about her dynamics with him.

He reluctantly walked away, not before shaking his head at this stubborn woman.

She couldn't get her feet to move upstairs she didn't have it in her to confront him, to look at him in the eyes. She found every reason not to retire to bed. But soon she felt her eyes dropping and understood that this was her cue.

He looked at the untouched food in the plate which was in the tray. She hadn't eaten either as per Pushkar. He, at least had some morsels, for the sake of the medicine. He was aware that she couldn't eat when she was this upset. This is how she functioned as a person.

No matter how nonchalant she acted about it. She was really sensitive at heart.

He looked here and there and changed sides several times, his eyes never leaving the clock. With the passing minutes, his impatience seemed to grow. The loud tick tock almost defying him to go and check where she was and what was keeping her so busy that she hadn't returned to the room yet.

What if she had decided to leave? What if she had finally reached her saturation point?

So this how it felt. Loneliness. He looked at his room in the semi darkness. He wouldn't wake up to the soft humming of her song, the left side of his bed would always be cold. The bathroom would not be filled with her citrus scent anymore. The cupboard would be filled only with his clothes, with colors she found bland. His room would be empty, once again like its owner.

Sheer dread rose in him. This is what he wanted so what did it feel so empty, so cold. Why was he scarred all of a sudden?

The sound of the knob opening, made him flinch. He buried himself into the duvet and stayed still. He could hear her dragging her feet, painstakingly slowly. He waited for her to crash next to him but she just stood in front of the bed for a while, observing him.

She knew him too well, to believe that he was asleep. He had always one leg out of the duvet and he always slept on his left side, she could tell he was awake with the way he had turned his head to the right side and how stiff his posture looked.

She finally took a cushion and maneuvred herself till the couch. With every retreating step she took, he felt his heart constrict a little more in his chest.

He peeked from his duvet, after a while. She was staring at the ceiling. She felt an intense gaze on her, when she turned to look at him he hastily put the blanket over his head. She propped herself on her elbows, to have a better view but she was met with dead silence.

"Shravan." It was a mere whisper, almost felt like a peace offering in the darkness of the night, like a ray of hope. He wanted to get up and engulf her in his arms but then what? What was the next step?

He stayed unmoving and kept laying like a dead corpse.

He heard her long sigh. Not getting any response, she laid back looking towards him, exhaustion finally took over her and she fell asleep, him being the last thing on her mind.

He pushed back the duvet from his head and slowly stood up on his feet, the movements hurt his already sore body. The fever was still present and the medicines had quite an effect on him, He walked till the couch and sat near it on the floor.

She looked so tired, like him. His reflection. The only difference was, that everyone could see him but no one could depict it for her, expect him.

He wanted to talk to her. About something, anything. Even bicker, fight if it was possible. He was just tired of the omnipresent silence between them.

"Main pichle das saal se tumhara intezaar kar rahi hoon."

She told him that she was waiting from him. Since ten years. All the while he was trying to forget her, to erase her existence. But she was such a part of himself, that a scent, a word was enough to trigger all the memories, he had locked away into a room of his heart.

Was she really waiting for him? She would never lie about something like that. They both knew what it implied, how it could change everything.

He really wanted to believe her but what if it was just a trick to make him feel better about himself, un trompe l'oeil.

He had tried countless times to hate her, to hurt her and he had failed again and again.

As far as he remembers, happiness had always been an overrated concept to him. He had tried so desperately to grasp light with his fingers, like the way people at the end of their lives hold onto every moment but it just evaporated into thin air.

Every time, everything looked like falling in place he could finally give a new chance to life, another dagger was thrown at him and everyone expected him to simply forgive and forget.

"I want to hurt you but I just can't. I can't Sumo. Sab ke samne strong bina partha hoon, par sach to ye hai, ke main... main tumhe aur takleef nahi de sakta, mera dil mujhe iss baat ki aur ijaazat nahi de tha."

He tried to but every time she looked at him, his resolve broke a little more, day by day. As much as he tried to hate her, to remind himself all the wrong she had caused him, his heart acted blind and only chose to see what he wanted to, her soul.

His flawed but real Sumo. Perhaps that's what love is all about, seeing someone for who they trully are, loving them and accepting them despite all their shortcomings.

"Tum har baar kese taise aapne paas keech leti ho mujhe." She always had a hold on him, on his mind and on his heart.

"Kabhi kabhi aisa lagta hai ke tum parchai ho. Mera aks jo mujhe hamesha aapna sach dikha deta hai to kabhi mere aankhon ka dhoka."

"Mujhe lagta tha main tumhe jaanta hun, khuli kitab ki tarah par sakta hoon, lekin main to tumhare dil ke darwaze tak kabhi pohonch hi nahi paya." His fingers played with the corner of the cushion she had laid her head on.

Their relationship did lack of communication, understanding at times but trust. He thought trust was always there, perhaps it was just not strong enough.

"Kyon nahi bulaya tumne mujhe? Kyon akele saare faisle liye? Kyon?"

He almost reached out to wake her up but then he remembered all the times she pushed him away, his father's revelations, her words, his own words it seemed like his mind was on an overdrive and it was enough to make him recoil.

"I am sorry Sumo, I am really sorry." His fingers tugged the lone strand behind her ear, which hid her beautiful face from him, not daring to go further.

He didn't have it in him to trust again, to believe again. He might be a coward, he might be too afraid to love, to meet with disappointments and he admitted it, at least to himself. He didn't have anything to give anymore.

----------------------------
It seemed like Shravan Malhotra had vowed to make his wife's life a living hell but he wasn't aware that he had called trouble upon him.

She was in one of those moods where she had reached her limits. He had pushed her buttons again and again but she stayed quiet.

"Utho." She ordered her hands on her hips. He momentarily glanced towards her,  and returned his attention back to the book he was reading.

"Mene kaha utho." She was now planted in front of him, towering him for once. He kept ignoring her. She snatched the book from his hand, making him protest in return.

"Kyon utho, mele main jaana hai tumhe." He was annoyed beyond measure.

"Naha ke aao abhi ke abhi." She had one finger pointed towards the bathroom and she was glaring down at him.

"Kyon?"

"Because you stink!" Her voice raised a bit.

"Toh? Big deal. Tumhe iss kamre main nahi rehna to tum jaa sakti ho. Koi zabardasti nahi hai." He replied smirking. Oh how she wanted to wipe off that cheeky grin from his face.

"Nahi uthoge ?" She asked one last time.

"Nahi."

"Fine."

Finally. He could get some moments of peace, he closed his eyes and leaned back.

Splash!

"What is wrong with you?!" He screamed. She smiled sweetly at him, a bucket of water in her hands. He was completely soaked, his hair were a sopping mess and his t-shirt clung to him like it was a part of him. The realization made her look away.

"Ab jaate ho ya puri balti khali kardoon tumhare sarr par." She threatened.

"Now I am sure about it, tumhe pagalpan ke dore regular circles pe hi aate hain." He huffed in annoyance and went into the bathroom, as she stuck her tongue at him.

She smiled to herself, he was never going to grow up.

Showering was actually a good idea. His head was feeling too heavy in the morning, the hot water helped in calming his throbbing nerves. He wasn't going to tell her that.

He came out of the bathroom, fully clothed. She thanked her stars for that, she was aware of her husband's tendencies.

She was arranging her side of the bed when he plumped down on the bed and sneezed.
Then a second time.
Then a third.

"Shravan dry your hair, tumhe sardi lag jayegi."

"No I am good." He assured but sneezed again.
She threw a towel at him and he threw it back. She plumped it on his face but he turned his head sidewise, she took his face in her palm and made him look at her but he turned it again.

"Shravan."
"Suman."

She tsk in annoyance. "Itni zid kyon karte ho tum. Stay still." He glared at her but she remained unaffected.

She slowly rubbed the excess of water from his hair and couldn't help but notice how the drops seemed to be clinging to his thick eyelashes, following the vein of his neck before disappearing into the hollows of his shirt.

She was wearing a simple peach kurti, minimal makeup, her hair curled into soft waves he itched to play with, yet she looked ethereal and the way she was looking at him just added to his misery.

Their eyes met for a temporarily moment and they couldn't look away. She leaned slowly towards him, her hands on his strong shoulders as his own hands came to hold her elbows.

A soft knock on the door broke their intense staring session. She stepped back as if she was on fire and he immediately felt the lose.

"Come in." Her voice fumbled a bit.

The door opened with a small clang.
"Main andar aa sakti hoon?" She asked hesitant.

"Of course, Aunty aaye na." She welcomed her with a big smile on her face and they shared a hug. Their smiles widened when they saw him awkwardly standing, it was his way to welcome her .
She slowly walked towards him, her hand cupping his face lovingly. "Ab kaise ho tum ?"

"Theek hoon aur aap ?" It was endearing to see how the usual strong baritone was reduced to a mere whisper.

"Main bhi theek hoon." She nodded her head, the smile everlasting.

"Aunty bethiye na." She urged them to sit on the couch.

The atmosphere between the two of them was thick, like the first time two strangers meet.

Nirmala kept looking at him lovingly but he looked down at the carpet as if it was the most interesting ever. She took her cue to give them some space.

"Accha aunty main aati hoon abhi." She was about to leave.

"Kahan jaa rahi ho?" He asked urgely his fingers almost touching her wrist. He looked anxious, exactly how he looked before giving his exams. She knew that he didn't want to be left alone with her but it was the need of the hour.

"Shravan I'll be downstairs." She assured him with a tentative smile.

Before going, she looked at them one last time and her heart filled with happiness. She had seen both of them miserable without each other. She had seen Shravan craving for love and Nirmala Aunty missing him like anything. They deserved a second chance.

After she left the room, they looked at each other and smiled.

Her hand came in contact with his forehead then his hair and she let out a chuckle."Tumhare baal bilkul pehle ki tarah hain. Kitna time laga te ho inne sawarne main?"

"20 minutes." He answered sheepishly.
Her hand came to rest against her mouth as she stifled a laugh. He smiled, embarrassed.

"I am sorry Shravan." She said, her eyes glistening.
He nodded curtly.

He didn't flinch neither he leaned into her touch when she played with his hair, remembering old times. He let her even hug him and dropped her till the gate with the promise of coming back. He smiled, his first genuine smile in months.

He met his father at the threshold of the house, he was about to say something but he passed in front of him. It hurt him to do that but the wound was still fresh.

When he came back to his room, Pushkar was already setting the food. He scanned through the whole room but he couldn't see her.

"Bhaiya, come khana khate hain." He gestured him to sit down next to him.

"Sun baaki sab kahan hai?" He didn't want to enquiry about her directly.

"Preeti, Tiwari killa gaye hai. Vandy Bhabhi aur Mumma went out. Varun Bhaiya, office main as usual aur Lala ji aapne kamre main so rahe hain." He started eating without noticing his brother's restlessness.

He couldn't hold it anymore. "Aur Sumo ?"

"Shoot. Main aapko batana bhool gaya wo PCT gayi hai, Preeta ka phone..." He didn't listen to the whole sentence. She had done it again. She had again chose something else over him. He kept reasoning himself that she might have a reason but he couldn't push the building hurt and anger he felt.
--------------------
"Thank God Sumo tu thi, warna aaj to siyappa hojana tha." Preeta let out a breathe of relief. She didn't want to come and leave Shravan but she had no choice.

Preeta had called her in emergency and if she hadn't reached on time, PCT would have faced harsh consequences. She still wasn't ready to go but Pushkar convinced her somehow.

"Chal Ab main chalti hoon, Shravan intezaar kar raha hoga."

She put the keys in the engine, when her phone rang.

"Pushkar main abhi pohonch hi rahi hoon."

"Sumo.. Bhaiya."

"Kya huwa Shravan ko?" Her hold tightened on the steering wheel.

"Wo mil nahi rahe hain."

"Kya matlab nahi mil raha, tujhe bola tha na mene ke uska dhyan rakh na. Hadd karta hai pushkar. Ab kahan dhundon main usse?"

"Sumo, please tu tension na le, mil jayenge wo.

"Accha main kuch karti hoon, I'll call you if I find him."

---------------------

She reached to the park in record time and she felt herself regain her senses when she caught the sight of the tall masculine figure sitting against the pillar. This was their spot, whenever life didn't make any sense this is where they found solace.

"Kya laga tha main tumhe dhundh nahi paongi." Her anger had reached newer heights as she approached him.

"Umeed to yahi thi tumse." He replied with a sardonic smile. She was so frustrated at this point, she felt like slapping him. Everyone were sick worried about him and he was sitting here, not caring about anyone.

"Tumhe kisi ki parwa nahi hai?" She looked at him in disbelief, this couldn't be Shravan, he would never play with emotions.

"Nahi." A simple word, yet it hit home.

"Fine, I don't have it in me to argue anymore, now get up let's go home." She was hurt and was tempted to leave him to sulk here, but at that moment he was her responsibility.

"I don't want to."

"What is wrong with you, get up, chalo abhi." She held his arm in attempt to lift him but he took it back.

"Main uss ghar main nahi jaana chahta." He got up to face her and she could see the anguish glistening in his eyes.

"Kyon, kya hogaya hai?" She stepped closer to him, her hand almost touching his arm, he stepped back and her hand fell limply at her side, reminding her, her position in his life.

"Mujhe ghutan hoti hai wahan." His voice finally betrayed him, as he turned his face. This was another kind of hurt, when home was not home anymore.

She sighed and stood next to him, sighing, taking in their surroundings and how everything still looked the same. The same decor, but changed us' she thought

"Bachpan kitna asaan huwa karta tha." She said, smiling fondly, remembering their childhood.

He chuckled in return. "Humare liye to kabhi nahi tha." That's the moment their eyes met, regret and longing visible in the eyes of the other. He was the first to tear his gaze away.

They kept looking ahead. Even in the silence, the thumping of their hearts mingled, to become one. In that moment, just standing next to each other, in their own shell, where they were completely exposed. Parts of their broken hearts were mended.

"Have you forgiven him ?"

"Who ?"

"Papa."

"Yes." She nodded, even though he wasn't looking at her.

"Why ? I mean he kind of ruined it for you."

"He did. But I still forgive him, because I understand where he comes from... and he is important to you."

"To tumne mere liye unne maaf kiya."

"Nahi, aapne liye."

"Itna asaan hai kya, kisi ko maaf karna?" He now turned towards her, to meet her gaze.

"Nahi." The wind blew on her face, harshly, making her eyes brim with tears.

"Aap ne aap se ladna parta hai. Har waqt. Samne wale ko samajhna parta hai, ke uss insaan ne aise kyon kiya. Sometimes, you don't understand, other times you don't want to understand, because a part of you still don't believe that, the person you trusted the most played you."

"Maaf karna, zaroori hota hai?"

"Haan, aapne liye. Kyon ke tum jitna aapne andar iss ghusse ko, iss nafrat ko jagah doge, utna wo legi. Tumhe andar se khatam kar degi." Every word she uttered hit home. Holding grudges kills. It's like watering a seed inside of you, it'll grow but it'll bring no good.

"I am losing my mind here." He held his head and let out a cry of frustration. She instinstively reached out to him and held his hands into hers, to prevent him from hurting himself.

"Hey, look up talk to me, please don't hurt yourself." She had started crying, unaware to herself.

"I thought that I had it in me to forgive everyone, but I can't. I just can't. He looked so lost and tired of fighting against himself, she felt her heart breaking for him.

"Mera dil unne maaf karna chahta hai, main sab kuch bhulna chahta hoon, lekin beech main yaad aajati hai. Unn ki awaaz sunta hoon, to wo saari baatein yaad anne lagti hai mujhe aur main kitni bhi koshish kar loon, main wo sab nahi bhool pa raha hoon. I can't even look at him, mera dil andar se dhuk ta hai."

"Aaj, jab maa aayi thi, to bohot dil kar raha tha, unn ki god main sarr rakh kar sone ka, lekin nahi kar paaya. Himmat hi nahi huwi. Main khush hona chahta hoon, ek normal life guzarna chahta hoon, lekin mere andar dobara tootne ki himmat nahi hai."

His eyes were blood-shot and his lips quivered but he recovered quickly, still hiding from her. His hands were still encaged into her small ones.

That's the thing with people you love. No matter how much they hurt you, no matter how much they break you, you always find your way back to them, you always end up forgiving them, because a part of your heart already belongs to them.

A shuddering sigh left her. "Haan, maaf karna, aage bharna zaroori hota hai, lekin aapne pace par, koi jaldbaazi nahi hai. Nobody is asking you to forgive everyone, tomorrow. The unability to forgive is what makes us human. Itni takleef main bhi, tumhara dil sab ko maaf karna chahta hai and that's the sign of healing. Waqt ko waqt do, aapne aap ko, sab ko."

"What about love? Do you think they ever really loved me?"

"We are imperfect people Shravan, kabhi kabhi pyaar jatane main ghalti kardete hain. But we all have our own clumsy way to express it, even though we fail most of the time. What truly counts in the end are the people who stand by you and love you no matter what. Whatever they did was out of love, for you." Her hands clutched his, hoping that her words would reach him.

"So what you did, was out of love?" He looked at her, his gaze intense. She didn't like the tone he used, it felt laced with humor, dark humor. Her hold slackened and she took steps backwards.

"Baat humari nahi hai."

"Baat humari hi hai. It's about us." He stepped in front of her, blocking her way.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why?" He questioned, he needed to know.

"Kyon ke tum nahi samjho ge." She yelled, her voice trembling.

"To samjhao Sumo, samjhao mujhe. Pehle to haq se samjha thi ti na phir ab kya hogaya." He peered down at her, she kept looking here and there not wanting to meet his eyes, he jerked her by her shoulders.

"Tumhe itna farq kyon par raha hai Shravan and it doesn't matter what I say or do, you are always quick to assume the worst out of me." She accused her own hands gripping his shoulders.

"It was easier for you to give up on me." The words still hurt.

"You never tried to explain it to me." He retorted back.

"Kya sunna chahte ho tum, I could say anything and you won't believe me, because you have drawn your own conclusions. You never... understand me. Bol ke kya karoon."

"I-" His breath hitched.

Her phone rang again and they both part away as she answered.

"Ghar chalo." They walked next to each other, hundred scenarios in mind. Rehearsed apologies went down the drain.

They were both hurt beyond measure and once again silence conquered it all.