Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming.
All we can do is learn to swim.

Vicki Harrison

A month passed by and now slowly and gradually we learning to move forward taking one step at a time.

Losing a loved one is such a shattering moment. You feel helpless. Hopeless. Numb. Denial. Although you living it still you hope it all to be just a nightmare. Nothing more than a nightmare, that when you wake up it all be gone and you again be living a life fill with the presence of your loved one.

Lately I googled about grief and I got to know there are 7 stages of grief.

1. Shock or disbelief: The stage is understood as the numbness often associated with initially receiving the news of the death of a loved one

2. Denial: The stage that can initially help you survive the loss. You might think life makes no sense, has no meaning, and is too overwhelming. You start to deny the news and, in effect, go numb.

3. Bargaining: The stage is a line of defense against the emotions of grief. It helps you postpone the sadness, confusion, or hurt.

4. Guilt: The stage refers to feelings of regret about difficult aspects of the relationship with the deceased.

5. Anger: It is common to experience anger after the loss of a loved one. We are trying to adjust to a new reality and we are likely experiencing extreme emotional discomfort.

6. Depression: This may be a period of isolation and loneliness during which you process and reflect on the loss. The upward turn. At this point, the stages of grief like anger and pain have died down, and you're left in a more calm and relaxed state.

7. Acceptance/hope: In the last stage of the 7 stages of grief one arrives at the belief that although life will never be the same again after the loss, there is hope that life will go on.

To be honest, I still don't know I am at what stage still anyhow we all together moving on with it.

I remember during the time of my brother's funeral. I don't know from where this rumours got spread like wildfire in my society that you aren't allowed to cry for the huge life loss that has been the huge part of your life. I mean why ?

Don't we feel hurt we missed a bus or a train and we keep thinking about it even though we get into the next one but still we can't forget the fact and sometimes we even cry for it, if there's an important event going to be happen at a particular time and now we know we be late.

We cry over for such little things that doesn't even matter in the long run  then how come we expect a person not to cry over the extreme loss he/she going through. Let them cry. For crying is healing in itself.

Crying over such events is not prohibited provided that you do not revolt against Allah and you surrender to his orders. Indeed it has been narrated about "the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) that he had cried for death of his children and grandchildren".

There's an hadith narrated by Anas bin Malik: We were (in the funeral procession) of one of the daughters of the Prophet (pbuh) and he was sitting by the side of the grave. I saw his eyes shedding tears” (Funerals of Sahih Bukhari)

Crying is a natural process. When we suffer from any kind of loss we cry over it and later on we somehow learn to accept the fact and start moving ahead in life.

Indeed it is said have sabr (patience) but having sabr doesn't mean we can't go through breakdown, feel sorrow, sadness or pain. We will feel all and sometimes altogether. But in all these times, what we shouldn't be forgetting is Allah (swt). The one who is known as Al-Basit (The Reliever). The one who has put into the situation, will take you out of it beautifully.

Grief or loss is a part of life. Everybody has to face it someday or other. Even the prophets did and the time when prophet (pbuh) lost both his beloved ones, the wife Khadijah (ra) and his uncle Abu Talib in a year. The year was called as 'the year of sorrow'.

This reminds us he too experiences grief/loss and he left an example for all us humankind to live a life like him and follow his footsteps (the sunnah).

Don't forget to bid a beautiful goodbye to the loved one. After all it's the final goodbye. Though we don't feel like but we have to be strong enough to bid adieu.

If one feel like holding their beloved one hand for one last time, hold it. If feel like kissing their forehead, kiss it. We have love them all our life and now when they leaving us we still keep on loving them.

There's an hadith from Al-Bukhari says, "the prophet (pbuh) kissed the face of 'Uthman ibn Mathoon' (after his death)".

It is also confirmed that, 'Abu Bakr (ra) kissed the prophet (pbuh) after his death".

This clearly states that, touching or kissing a dead body isn't a sin. It is allowed in Islam as prophet (pbuh) himself perfomed it.

During this grief process, the one will feel alone, shattered, anti-social, hopeless and etc. Just know this all are natural. After all for the growth of living you have to leave and to live ahead.

Just like that, to give a birth the mother has to go through all the pain and the loss of placenta but the second she holds the tiny human in her hand she forgets about all the pain and the loss rather she accepts the fact happily and move on with it.

And this is why it is said, "we don't move on from grief, we learn to move forward with it".