LUKA'S POV

The moment Rae left my sight at the party I was washed with so much guilt and anxiety that I had to sit down. Every nerve ending in my body wanted me to go after her and apologize but I couldn't. My place was at the party and I had to oversee everything and everyone there until it was over. Which sucked because Naal was more than willing to go to her aid... like he always does.

All throughout that event my mind was stuck on Rae and everything about her. It was like my head was a movie reel because all I could see or think about was moments of her. When we first met, my first shift, when she told me she loved me, the years without her, when she finally came back and so on and so forth. I could see everything playing out and all I could do was endure.

But as I watched myself all those years I could see one common thing that I never truly noticed before; the girls I've dated, had sex with or liked, they all have common features with Rae. Aria had deep brown hair and deep blue eyes, like Rae. Alina had the same skin colour as Rae did. Zuri's eyes reminded me of Rae but I didn't know it at the time. Even girls like Mei with her long black hair, it was the same length of Rae's when she straightened it. And Fatima danced like Rae did when she heard her favourite music playing. Everything always came back to Raelynn.

How did I not see this?

Because you are stupid and blind. You've let her get away too many times and this may just be the last straw.

It isn't anger that I hear in my wolf it's pain and worry.

How long have you known that you wanted Raelynn? I ask him honestly.

Right after your sister attacked her. Her scent was one thing but her blood confirmed it. She was made for us and you've f*cked it up time and time again.

It's not my fault! She is like a sister to me! I've watched her grow up with me. How could I think of her as anything else?

Easily! She is not your sister! She is only your friend! You've been searching for the qualities she possesses in other women for years now and you have found nothing in comparison. There is no one in the world like her and we both know it. She is of age now Luka just do something already.

Pure frustration fills my wolf and I feel it overwhelm me too. He's been feeling like this for years and instead of just blatantly telling me what he wants he wanted me to decide for myself.

This is what mom was talking about all those years ago. Sometimes your wolf already chooses who they want as a mate but the human part of us is too stubborn to see.

That evening was longer than any I've ever had. Time went by so slowly as if to taunt me for my mistake. Women flocked to me like sheep to its herder but I didn't care. Usually if I felt this confusion about Rae I would choose one of them to sleep with, someone who would have at least one trait that Rae had, but I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. Instead when the party was finally over and I was allowed to leave I went back to my room and showered thoroughly as if trying to wash the day's events from my skin.

When I went to bed that night I did something I've never done before, I touched myself. All of these years guys in high school and even in my final years at public school had talked about how great it felt. I never wanted to try it because I just didn't know who I would imagine when I did... but now... I could see her so clearly it was as if she was right in front of me.

I stroked my member to her eyes, her lips, her smile and her frown. I stroked harder to her hips and her full ass and squeezed at the sight of her growing breasts. I groaned at her long smooth legs and her toned arms. I sucked in a breath at her lightly swinging hips to the music. Even her painted nails made me stroke faster. Everything that was Raelynn Grace Rose Dawson made me harder than I've ever been before. And when I imagined her coming into this room and slowly taking off her dress... then I'd exploded. It was hard long spurts that consumed my stomach and chest. Even after it was finished I was still so sensitive and breathing heavy.

Yet after I cleaned myself up and went back to bed... I couldn't help bursting into tears at what I'd done.

So after that small revelation I'd made it my mission to apologize to her. I'd known she was with Naal that night so I didn't want to bother her because I knew he would make her see reason as he always does. I relayed messages to everyone she knew that I was looking for her, that I wanted to talk to her but she kept avoiding me.

And rightfully so. My wolf's comments are much more snide and rude now that I am seeing reason.

When I finally caught up with Rae to apologize I could feel my desire for her spiking again. She was wearing only a loose t-shirt that kept falling off her shoulder and jean shorts. Her skin was sweaty and her hair was sticking to her head and she looked like a mess, but she looked like my mess and I wanted more than anything to clean her up. I wanted to kiss and lick the sweat that was trickling down the side of her face. I wanted to pull off that damn shirt and dry her off completely. I wanted so much that I almost kissed her then... but she had pulled back which meant she was still mad. And I could understand.

After that meeting I went back to my room and touched myself to the memory of our time together. Just like before it was a very hard orgasm that left me almost gasping for air. And all of the orgasms after that would be the same. Because it was going to be a long time before I gained any courage to tell her how I really felt.

Every time I'd seen her all I could do was apologize. Maybe it was for all of the wasted years. Maybe it was for being such a blind fool. I don't know why I couldn't just admit the truth to her but I didn't. I kept biding my time until it was too late.

So much had happened with our pack in such a positive light that deep down I knew something bad was going to happen. It had to because it was like I wasn't allowed to be happy and prosperous for long. When we'd killed Kirill and captured and then killed Thomas' rogues maybe I'd gotten too cocky. I'd underestimated him again and it cost me something more valuable than my life.

Rae's happiness.

When I found that half dead warrior in such a delirious state I was afraid he wouldn't be able to remember anything enough to talk but he did. And the poor man sang like a canary until he died. But hearing the words he'd spoken wasn't enough. I had to see the scene for myself. I had to be sure that he was just crazy and I hated that I was wrong. I hated that by the time I got there the town's sheriff and other officers had already taped up the area. I could smell the blood in the air along with semen, hot chocolate, lemon and other spices.

To see that poor little girl laying battered and broken and ra... goddess I can't even say it. Her clothes were ripped and thrown all over the place. Her hair was matted with blood and sweat and those bastards' semen. Her legs were broken and placed on such a disgusting angle. I'd never hated anyone more than Thomas that day.

He was the most disgusting lycan in this f*cking world and he was going to pay for what he did. Before it was one thing, forcing lycans to fight against their will was one thing, ruling as a tyrant was one thing, killing innocent pups was one thing but attacking the woman I love's family? That was a death sentence.

There wasn't much left of Christopher's body and that made me sick. He was a good man and a great father. He was kind and generous and so funny. He didn't deserve to die. Neither of them did. His head was bruised beyond recognition and his arms were bent in painful positions but his legs were gone leaving only the upper half of his body to remain. It was terrible and I couldn't help falling to my knees and sobbing for this loss.

I can't remember how I got home that night. All I can remember was being scared to near death of telling Raelynn what had happened. I hadn't even told Jerri yet because I wanted Rae to know. I wanted her to know I wasn't worthy of her love or praise. I wasn't worthy of her forgiveness. I wasn't worthy of her at all. I was nothing and she was everything and I took her happiness when I let her father and sister die.

When she fainted even through my gut wrenching tears I was able to catch her. I wouldn't let her feel any more pain than she needed to. But I just didn't know what she was going to do. It didn't know she was going to push me out. I didn't know she was going to shut down. I didn't know what to do and I hated feeling so useless.

The days that followed the deaths Raelynn and Jerri had been on auto pilot. They left their room to shower and brush their teeth but then they were right back inside again. Even though they weren't together they were doing practically the same thing. On Christmas Jerri broke first. She wailed and screamed and bawled for hours until she had no voice and even then it didn't stop it was merely quieter than before.

No one knew what to do. My mom and dad were both so grief stricken. My father would cry endlessly for the loss of his best friend and my mom would cry for the loss of such a bright little girl. Naal kept trying to see Rae to comfort her but she wouldn't budge. And a sick part of me was rejoicing that she wouldn't take his embrace. I was overjoyed that she wouldn't let him comfort her just like she wouldn't let me. I was insane and hurting and feeling so f*cking rejected.

It's probably how she's felt about me all of these years. Karma's a bitch.

I would have thought by new year's day that she would have broken down but there was still nothing and the day after when her birthday hit I thought she would have at least left her room but she didn't even know what day it was in the first place. It broke my heart to little pieces when she didn't even care that her birthday had come. She didn't smile, she didn't cry. She did nothing but blink. It was horrible... but it was how she was coping.

So when she said she wanted to get a tattoo I jumped at the chance of being with her again. Even if she didn't want to acknowledge me it didn't matter because we would be together and that would count for something. I remembered that there was a tattoo shop in town but that would be too close to home and we'd get back to the pack much sooner than I'd want. But there was another shop run by a lycan I'd met during one of my swim meets. His father owned the shop and he and his sister ran it whenever he was away. The drive to the town was an hour from my old high school. It was perfect.

Getting Rae to leave was easy but getting myself to stop touching her was harder. I'd put on her jacket and even strapped her in like she was a child but I couldn't help it. I needed to feel her and I needd her to feel me. But every bit of contact I'd made she didn't even flinch. There was no quickening of her pulse like it used to. There was no sharp inhale of my scent. There was no bite of her full bottom lip. I'd gotten nothing and it made me feel hopeless. Arriving at the shop was faster than I'd wanted but maybe it was for the best. We'd called a truce in the car and I didn't want to ruin any little peace we'd made.

I was surprised when I didn't see Daniel running the shop but I clued in that it must have been his sister. I could hear music and televisions blaring in the background which meant there were other people here getting tattoos as well. How the noise didn't bother Rae I'll never know. As we went through the motions and I paid for everything I remembered getting so aroused when Rae removed her shirt. Was it the time or place to be imagining dirty things to do to her with her shirt off? No. But could I help myself? No.

Even as Dalia, who looked like an exact replica of her older brother, spoke I could only see Raelynn. She was so brave to do something like this and on a whim no less. I don't know why she'd want a tattoo when I know she'd once said that tattoos were considered a sin within her religion but I wasn't going to judge her now. I was only going to sit beside her and watch her every move. This beautiful young woman whose grown up and gone through so many things.

This woman I'm madly in love with.

It hurt me physically to watch her have to take the pain on herself. I would have reached out to touch her and share in her discomfort but something was telling me that she wanted this pain. Something was warning me that if I touched her that she'd hate me. So I kept my hands to myself and blew soft breaths against her perspiring skin.

I'd told Dalia to add Rae's father's and sister's first initial into each item because I knew it would mean a lot to her and Dalia grinned widely before getting to work on them. By the five hour mark I'd just about lost my composure and was about to pull her into my arms to tell her I would shield her from all pain if she'd just let me but Dalia had finished.

Within those long, long hours I'd seen many people come and go for tattoos and piercings. Some young girls giggled at the sight of me and flashed me their belly button piercings. Some tough looking men came in with ink covered bodies and left with more tattoos on Goddess knows where. Some people came in with solemn looks and showed pictures of dead loved ones. My heart broke when I saw a young woman, no older than maybe twenty come in to show a picture of little baby feet that she wanted tattooed near her heart. She must have lost a child.

Daniel had greeted me with a hug and a few stories of his life so far. I'd made sure I'd positioned us so I could see Raelynn as he spoke. He's in his final year of university and has a chance to make it into the World's for swimming. I had chances like that as well even an offer to push for the Olympics but my place is with the pack. All of that fame and glory mean nothing to me in retrospect.

I'd told him I'd taken over my father's business and it has been affluent ever since, which wasn't a lie. He looked over his shoulder to where Rae was still getting tattooed and he eyed her in a way that made me step in front of him. He'd asked me if she was my girl and I didn't hesitate to say yes. After that he'd smiled and left. If he'd come back and looked at her that way again I would have killed him.

When we'd left the parlour I'd made sure to leave Dalia a hefty tip for everything she'd done. I remember Daniel mentioning that she was a classical pianist that was going to attend Julliard next year. Hard to imagine she was only eighteen.

Through everything that Rae and I experienced at that shop I had noticed a subtle shift in her mood. She didn't smile and she wasn't happy but when I reached for her hand for the umpteenth time that day her lip had twitched.

And that was enough for me.

***

"We are gathered here today under the guidance of our lord Jesus Christ, to talk about two loving people; two avid members of the church, two children in Christ. Christopher Oscar Dawson and Abrielle Laila Nicole Dawson. God has taken them with him to be in peace and sanctity amongst his angels and though we weep for the loss of two wonderful people, we rejoice in knowing where they are and where they will always be until we meet them again."

The pastor's eyes are rimmed red as he speaks and I know he's just cried for Rae's family. He was always such a nice guy and has aged gracefully over the years. He still has the glasses I remember him wearing but now his head is shaved bald and his mocha skin is a little more wrinkled than before. But his voice is still as powerful as ever.

I'm sitting behind Raelynn and her mother because I was told that shows respect. Her grandparents are sitting on either side of them and they look just as broken as everyone else in this room. Christopher's parents have to be in their late sixties by now with his father's strong jaw and graying hair and his mother's dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. He was the perfect mix of the two of them getting his mom's eyes, his dad's facial features and an even height. They've always been such nice people every time I've met them and today was no different. Even though they are at their son's funeral they went about every row and said thank you to each person for coming and then they gave me and my parents a huge hug before finally sitting down.

Jerri's parents were just as courteous greeting everyone with a smile and a hug. She looks so much like her father it's uncanny. But through it all my eyes always find Rae. Today was the first day she put any effort into dressing up. She's wearing a long black dress that has long lace sleeves. It's cut low enough that you can see the tops of her breasts but not so much that it's overly distracting. She matched the dress with black boots and black stockings. She's wearing no makeup and her hair in up in a bun and goddess she looks so beautiful.

Unlike Jerri she hasn't seen her sister or father so when they arrived early to view the two before the casket closed she finally broke down. It wasn't loud and it wasn't dramatic. She merely stood by their caskets, touched their faces and cried silent tears. Her body shook with every breath she took but she stood tall and cried for them. I was so proud of her in that moment.

"Now I'd like to ask the daughter and sister of Christopher and Abrielle, Raelynn Dawson, to say a few words." The pastor calls up Rae and she stands with ease. I watch as she makes her way to the stage and stands at the podium. A crumpled up ball of paper is flattened and she pulls the microphone closer to her.

"My father was a man of integrity, generosity and love. He rarely ever said no and when he did it was for a good reason. He cared for the ones he loved and even the ones he didn't know. He was an amazing man who was spectacular at his job. He was my best friend, my coach and my advisor. He was my dad and I..." She breaks off and bites her bottom lip to stop from crying. "Many people don't know this but my father had asked if I wanted to join him the day he died. I had said no because I was occupied with other things and that was the last time we spoke. Even when I was busy he would think of me. That was how he was raised. He was an awesome dad and I love him so much. I thank God that I can at least see him again when I go to heaven. I know he's up there watching as the tears fall down all of our faces. I know he's smiling his casual smile and saying not to be so sad because he may be gone in body but he is alive in spirit. And that gives me peace."

She stops talking and takes out another crumpled paper to read from. Goddess she is so strong to do this on her own.

"I've always wanted a younger sibling from since I was three years old. I've always loved kids and I always will. When my parents told me that I was going to be a big sister I cried because God heard my prayers and he answered them by giving Abrielle. Many people said that we were so much alike and so different at the same time. She was my exact replica except she didn't get mom's blue eyes. I would even catch her saying the same things I did when I was her age. It was everything I could have wanted and more. We had planned to go backpacking in Europe when she'd turned sixteen... but now that dream will never come true. Elle was quieter than I was and much more observant but she was strong and funny and so snoopy. She'd wanted to be a private investigator just like my dad and I knew that would have been the best job for her. She worked hard in everything she did and she loved so much. My baby sister... my Elle was my confidant, my reality check and my friend. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her laugh or her smile but I know she's amongst the angels now. And truly that is where she belonged because she always was my angel."

A tear slips from her eye and she moves to sit back down again. I reach my hand out to touch her back to tell her that I'm here for her. That even if she'll never love me the way I now love her... even if she hated me that I'm still here for her. She turns her head to look at me with the biggest blue eyes that have always captivated me and something sparks in her gaze. She doesn't smile or say anything she merely just looks at me, touches my hand and turns back.

The rest of the service is a blur to me. My mind is consumed with my sense of failure and weakness while everyone else's minds are filled with grief. The pastor comes back up to dismiss the crowd and I stand to carry Christopher's coffin. Along with me are my father, Doctor Ewan and three warriors who grew close to Chris over the years. Naal, Keegan, Kyle, Jason, Tobias and Alexei carry Abrielle's coffin. As we make our way out into the cold January air and insert the coffin into the hearse I stay back to wait for Raelynn. Just in case if she might need me.

But she never does these days.

Damn it hurts.

"Luka can I ride with you?" She asks her voice raspy and quiet. I'm shocked that she's even spoken to me but I recover quickly, nod my head and guide her to my car sending a quick thank you to the Goddess for this opportunity. I don't miss the way Naal watches us leave but I don't care to address it. She came to me. Not him.

We follow behind the hearse as they begin to make their way to our pack grounds. The drive is long and quiet and I don't bother to try to make conversation. She wants peace and I will give her just that.

"Can you believe that I'm going to be burying one half of my family at eighteen? Most people would be throwing big parties or go travelling around the world and I am burying my father and sister." Rae says bitterly. I like that she's feeling emotions again. It's a good sign.

"Today is not a good day for anyone." I tell her as I continue to keep my eyes on the road. We stay silent again before Rae speaks up.

"Aren't you curious as to why I asked to ride with you?" She asks turning to me.

"No. I would have offered either way." I respond trying to smile but it comes off as a grimace.

"Do you want to know why I decided to ride with you?" She asks obviously wanting to tell me something.

"Yes."

She sits back in her seat and plays with a loose curl but doesn't say anything. In fact she stays quiet for the majority of the ride. We're almost at the grave site when she speaks again.

"My mom told me the story of how she and my dad met." She starts playing with that curl... making me wish I was that curl.

"Yeah? What was it like?" I question as I begin to slow down.

"She said dad knew he was going to fall in love with her. She told me he pursued her even when she wasn't technically single. She even said he kissed her so she'd see just how badly she wanted him back." Rae stops the story there and positions herself in my line of sight. I've parked the car a little ways from the gravesite so we could have a few more minutes of privacy.

"Oh? Did it work? The kiss I mean." I ask my voice getting husky. She nods her head slowly and undoes her seatbelt.

"All of these years I've been so in love with you Luka. All of these years I've compared every guy I've been with to you. It was always about you. Even when I thought I could be happy with someone else..." Colin, I think to myself, "My heart always seemed to belong to you."

"Rae I–"

"And then when you finally decide that you may want me, that's when I realize that I don't want you back. It's when I realize that you're too late. That's when darkness takes over my heart and mind and I don't want your love anymore. I don't want your touch or your concern. I don't want you at all." She says this with such finality that I feel like I've been shot.

"Oh..." My mouth forms the words but it comes out so quiet even I barely know that I've said it.

She looks down at her hands and begins to wring them earnestly and all the while I can feel my heart being ripped apart in my chest. I can hear that beating organ pounding so hard for a little more life. I can taste blood in my mouth and feel it running through my fingers.

This is the end. You've killed us both. My wolf whimpers out his pain and anguish and I join him in this never ending sorrow. I've ruined everything. I always do. I destroy the things and people that bring me happiness. I'm always just a little. Too. Late.

"But..." I can feel the despair begin to devour my heart that I almost don't hear her say that word... almost. "But still even when I'm so sure that I can't feel anything anymore I can still feel my love for you. I can feel it buried deep under my depression. I can feel it wanting to surface. And then when you touched me... that simple gesture to show that you were there and that you cared I think that's what did it. That gesture reminded me that life is too short." Her voice sounds like the softest melody bringing me closer to light.

"I – I do care. I care so much Rae." I say desperately holding on to the dying hope within me.

"So do you want to know why I got in this car with you?" She asks again.

"W–Why?" I respond my voice sounding sore.

"To do this."

Rae moves closer to me until our lips finally meet. But the kiss isn't soft. It can't be. It's harsh and fast and hard. I tear myself out of my seatbelt and pull her into me. Because she's mine. She's all mine. I press my hand into the base of her neck to keep her to me. To hold her into me. To seal her with me. Her hands are ripping at my shirt and my member is begging to be released. There are tears running down both of our cheeks and sobs mixed in with each kiss. My claws are digging into her jacket and her nails are scratching my face. I'm biting her and she's biting me. I'm panting and she's groaning. I'm sucking and she's licking. This kiss is fire. This kiss is life. This kiss is the beginning of us.

I pull back only because I know we've spent enough time in the car and they must be waiting for us at the site. But Goddess when I behold the sight of Rae's swollen lips it makes me want her all over again.

"I was an idiot." I choke out still trying to reign in my tears. "I was so stuck in the past and who you used to be that I refused to see you as you are now and for that I am so sorry. All those months I spent apologizing to you was because I was trying to make amends for all the wasted years I'd spent trying to supress my need for you. I love you Raelynn Dawson. I love you more than life itself and I will keep loving you until the day I die. You are it for me. Please forgive me for not seeing the truth that was right in front of me. Please forgive me for pushing you away and treating you horribly at times. Please forgive me for–"

"For being who you are. You're a hard-headed asshole who has broken my heart more times than anyone ever should but I forgive you for all of that because you know that you were wrong. And that's all I've ever wanted." Rae says holding my face in her beautifully soft hands. Her eyes are still cold and solemn but I know she's speaking from her heart. "I'm so broken right now. God I can barely feel you in my hands but I love you so much Luka. I love you and I want you. It's so hard trying to get passed this depression and darkness so I'd understand if you'd want to wait a little bit until I–"

"No. I've waited too long. I've been idle for too long. I will be by your side through all of this angel. If you want to cry and scream at me and tear at my clothes then you can do it. I'll let you do anything and everything to me and to my house and to my pack until you feel better. I want to be here for you and I want everyone to know it. I want everyone to know that I've manned up and I've learned from my mistakes. I want them to know that I love you and I want you to be with me forever." I say fiercely feeling my wolf push through. He wants her to know how badly he wants her as well. How long he's waited for this moment.

"Oh Luka. I–"

"Be my mate Raelynn. Be my Luna. Please. I'm nothing without you." I beg her pushing my head past her hands and into her chest. I can feel her tears wetting my hair and I cry into her bosom.

"Yes. Of course yes." She says through her tears. I relax into her chest until I feel such an overwhelming sensation to claim her right then and there that I need to pull back. All of a sudden I'm breathing heavy and my canines have elongated to the point of pain. 

Mark her! Mark her now! Keep her safe from all harm. Make her our Luna. Make her our mate!

I have to dig my hands into the seat to try to calm myself. 

I want to do this. I need to do this to her. To make sure no one else tries to take her from me. To make sure she will always be mine. But I can't... not yet. When she heals then I will mark her. She needs to heal from this hurt so that I can give her true pleasure.

With those thoughts calming me down I open my clenched eyes and see Rae staring off quietly. I decide to speak up to break her out of her trance.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be than in your arms my angel for the rest of my life, but we should get going. As soon as this is done we can go wherever you want. And we can do anything you want or need to help you feel better." I say turning her head and wiping her eyes and cheeks.

"Ok." Again I see the depression trying to overcome her happiness so I take her hand in mine and hold it tight.

"I love you so much my beautiful mate."

"I love you too Luka." Rae tells me trying her hardest to give me a genuine smile but not being able to stop the blush that stains her cheeks.

I get out of the car and allow the winds to knock the lust out of me and the sense back in. Going to her door I open it for her and she steps out with a grave look sitting on her face. She reaches for my hand and I hold it tightly as we walk to the gravesite. As suspected everyone is already there and they are silently standing by waiting for us. Realistically they could have been standing there for hours and they wouldn't have been able to do a thing because I have to be present.

I'm about to let Rae's hand go so she can stand by her mom but she continues to hold on and brings me with her as the pastor begins to speak again. I can feel the buzz of excitement and emotion through the pack's mindlink as they begin to understand what my position beside Raelynn means. And I'm glad they do. She's my mate now. She's their Luna.

Pastor Quentin finishes his prayer and the coffins are lowered into the grave. Rae takes a white rose and throws it down where her family will be buried and then she takes the shovel and digs into the dirt and throws it on top of each coffin before her mom does the same and then the rest of her family. I join the action as I sign of my respect and Naal, Yulia and Alexei follow. Rae, Jerri, my parents, Willow and Tobias and I all stay until the graves are fully covered. It's then and only then do we make our way back to the cars.

Rae was ok with the idea of a wake so we drive to the pack house where food and soft music is already set up. People come and give their condolences to Rae before giving us both a suspicious look but my returning glare makes them leave quickly. Today is not about the beginning of our mating. Today is about the end of two amazing lives.

The day goes by slowly and the sorrow and grief hangs like a heavy perfume in the air but I stay by Rae's side the entire time. I'm glad to see my friends and their mates mingling amongst each other. Keegan and Tyffany are smiling as they've just had a baby boy and the same goes for Jason and Artemis who've one girl and one boy. I can smell from here that Marianne is expecting but I keep it to myself. Yulia and Alexei are talking with Jerri's parents and it's so good to see his hand on her waist showing their mating. I even see Conor and Cate, who I haven't seen much of in years and they smile warily with a shy wave. The only person that is alone is Naal and it hurts to see that. He's my best friend and practically my brother and he must feel so alone. Especially now that Rae and I are in the process of mating.

I would have gone to him to see how he is doing with everything that's been going on but I don't want to leave Rae alone and her grip on my hand tells me she doesn't want me to go either. So I mindlink him instead.

"Naal how are you handling all of this?" I ask leaning down to kiss the top of Rae's head. I know she likes it even if she won't say so.

"It was hard carrying Abrielle's coffin but I am coming to terms with it. How is Raelynn? You two were gone for a long time after the service." Naal asks suspiciously.

"We needed to talk." I reply back casually.

"Talk about what?" He asks pushing the subject. He's never been this invasive before.

"Talk about the death in her family. And about her future." My response is clipped and my irritation begins to rise.

"What about her future?" Again with these damn questions.

"What does it matter to you?" I question back. I can feel his jealousy and possessiveness through the link and it makes mine own possessive nature rouse.

"It matters to me because I care about Raelynn. I always have. I care about her wellbeing, her health, her heart, her f*cking sanity. And I care about her making the right choices." Ok now he needs to back the f*ck down.

"What are you trying to say Naal? Is Rae not making a smart choice right now?" I ask, a threat underlying in my voice.

"You tell me." He scoffs back.

Now that I know how I feel about her. Now that I'm not afraid to love her fully. Now that she's said yes to being my mate... now I'm not taking shit from anyone any longer. SHE'S MINE.

"I don't know what your problem is Naal and right now I don't care to find out because Rae needs me with her but understand this, when I walked out of that car reeking of her scent it was because she agreed to be with me. She agreed without hesitation to be my mate. So I don't give two shits whether you think she made the right choice in choosing me because it was her choice to make. Do I deserve her? Absolutely not but I'm going to worship her every day until I die to make up for the pain I've caused her. If you don't like that then we can deal with it tomorrow." I say fighting back the building rage. Our eyes meet from across the room and for the first time since we were kids I feel such hatred towards him.

"If Raelynn made that choice... then I have nothing more to say." He walks out of the room and blocks his mindlink as strong as he can so I can't speak with him anymore. It was a smart choice for him to leave. If he'd stayed any longer questioning our future bond... I may have killed him.

The rest of the evening I'm angry but I'm trying not to show it. This would be the one time I'm grateful for Rae's dark mood because without it she would have noticed my tension. When the moon rises Jerri goes up to bed first and my parents follow soon after. Willow stays around Rae to keep her spirits up with Tobias still lingering with her and my friends hang around to help clean up the remaining mess. When Rae tugs on my hand and looks to the stairs I understand that she wants to go to bed so I say goodnight for the both of us and let her lead the way.

My mind is set on going to her room so I'm surprised when she walks right past it and into my own. She goes into my washroom to freshen up and I hear the shower turn on. I want to join her like nothing I've ever felt before, but now isn't the time. I go to her room and washroom and collect her things so she can get comfortable and am back when she's just turned the shower off. Her lip twitches at the sight of her little pink lacy underwear in my hands along with the t-shirt I bought her but she takes them and closes the door.

Once she's out I go in to take my own shower and stop myself from stroking my member tonight. It's something I'd come to do often whenever I was with Rae but now was not the time. Washing off and turn off the shower I grab a towel as I brush my teeth and dry myself throwing on my underwear and some shorts.

The sight of Rae sprawled in my bed arouses me to the point that I know she can see it but she just motions me to join and I follow her command. Adjusting myself so I won't be a bother I pull her into my arms and kiss her head softly.

"I love you Raelynn." I tell her pulling the blanket over us.

"I love you too Luka." She whispers back.

It takes her only a few minutes until she's fast asleep but I stay awake little longer so I can enjoy the feeling of her body against mine. I pull her further into me and kiss her neck relishing in her scent and everything that is Raelynn. I love this woman. I've probably been in love with her since I was young and it took too much for me to realize it but I've learned from those mistakes and I won't make them again.

Now that she's in my arms I'm never letting her go.

To be continued...

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AWW WE'VE REACHED THE END!! :'( AM I THE ONLY ONE CRYING RIGHT NOW???? THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR JOINING ME ON THIS JOURNEY! 

STAY TUNED FOR DETAILS ON THE THIRD STORY AND OTHER STORIES IN THE FUTURE.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!