*Hey again! Guess what? That something special is a DOUBLE UPDATE! WOO HOO! ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY!!*

LUKA'S POV

"Alpha Luka I've just gotten word that the Bushuyet Lycan pack is asking permission to enter our main territory. They're about half an hour out." I nod to the enforcers in front of me and give them keys to the rooms for Andrei and his pack.

"Make sure they get these when you see them. They will be in the west wing, rooms one to seven. Room one will be for Alpha Andrei and Luna Irina. Room two will be exclusively for Gamma Alexei and the other five are for their pack members. Be courteous and patient, they've had a long trip." They take the keys and write down what I've instructed them before they leave the room.

"Yulia can you greet them please? Naal and I need to head over to the rec centre to make sure everything has been set up accordingly." I catch her grimace at my question but she nods her head regardless.

"I just want you both to hear that I do not trust that their only motive is to find their Gamma a mate. Brother or not there are more than one hundred million people in Russia let alone the amount in Europe. There's another reason that they are here and I suggest we all keep our guards up when they arrive." She says with finality. Naal and I both nod our agreement and Yulia visibly relaxes before she leaves as well.

"And so it begins." Naal says from the couch. I glance at him briefly before packing up my things.

"I can't believe the time has already come. Though the Bushuyet Lycans are early, regardless what this signifies is invigorating enough." I tell him.

"Exactly. Their pack alone has been regarded as one of the strongest packs in the world."

"I know that's why I was caught off guard by Andrei's request. I know how cruel their father was to them and I know the way he punished them so I'm surprised Alexei still hasn't chosen a mate at twenty-six."

"Maybe that's the exact reason. Without all of the pressure of being the Alpha like Andrei or even Beta like his older brother Alyosha, Alexei has had time to himself, something his father never truly allowed. Maybe he honestly doesn't want a mate. Even though for their pack in particular the time frame to choose a mate is from sixteen to twenty-one, he himself chose to defy those laws because his father wasn't in power anymore." Naal comments quietly.

It would make complete sense really. The Bushuyet Lycan pack is pure brutal strength and force. They are a closely knit pack and severely devoted to their Alpha. Unlike Thomas though it's not a dictatorship, they all have a say in almost everything they do but the Alpha's children have to portray strength and power more than anyone else. It's take a lot to make a lycan scar and those guys are almost filled with them.

Their father, Artur, was and is one of the strongest lycans alive making him and his family a target. The amount of assassination attempts on him alone is astounding and when his enemies started to go after his family he took it upon himself to make sure they would always be prepared for a fight no matter how old they were. It explains their upbringing for sure and the need for a mate so that they can become stronger. So it also explains Alexei's defiance.

"So if that's what you believe then why do you think he agreed to coming here? What's the point?" I ask Naal leaving my desk and walking to the door.

"Only one way to find out I guess."

"On a lighter note did you hear about Keegan and Tyffany?" I say changing my shirt. He stands up as well and adjusts his clothes.

"Yeah not too long ago. I'm happy for them. It's a big deal. What about Jason and Artemis? Are you surprised she's pregnant with twins?" Naal responds opening the door. I laugh lightly at his question and shake my head.

"Not at all. All of that pent up aggression for each other had to come out eventually. Art's father gave me the news a few days ago and he also begged me to assign a new living arrangement for them. Apparently hearing his daughter have constant sex while she was in heat was too much to bear." Laughing loudly we leave the pack house and get in my car to go to the rec centre.

"Do you think you'll find what you're looking for?" Naal asks as I start to drive. My only response is to shrug my shoulders. "Yeah that's exactly how I feel."

"In the long run this event is really only to help out other packs. But if we can benefit from this too then that would be great." Stopping the car from the short distance driven, I duck out of the way as a football goes flying over my head. I can't help smiling as I see the young kids playing around here.

The majority if not all of the pack members have taken a liking to this new centre and that makes me proud. With all of the blood shed that has happened, it's good to know everyone can still find the time to relax. I can even see a few members in the pool splashing around with their babies. This peace, though artificial is still a warming sight to see.

***

YULIA'S POV

Sitting in the back of this car unnerves me. I'd rather run to meet these people than drive. Too many memories haunt me when I'm in a car.

***Flashback***

"Come on baby just let me touch you a little. You'll like it I promise." Tristan says pushing me further beneath him in his mother's sedan. I only agreed to this date because of the liberty I felt when my father finally allowed me to date him... but lately Tristan has become too touchy for my liking.

"Tristan you said you'd take me home." I say pushing at his chest. I could very easily knock him off of me now that I have my wolf but I can't because the impact his body would have on the roof might paralyze him. So instead I use my human strength and hold him away from my body.

"I'm going to take you home soon baby I told you that. I just want a good night present." He says licking my neck. From the stories Mara and Artemis have told me this experience is supposed to be sexy and sensual and fun but I'm not having an ounce of fun at all. In fact I think I'm going to be sick.

"But Tristan–" I protest again gasping when his hand squeezes my breast hard enough to bruise. I feel his hard member rub against my heat and the sickness in my stomach roils in angst. He stops his assault on my chest and looks down at me with those beautiful brown eyes I fell in love with but this time they look cold and filled with lust.

"Yulia you need to stop being such a f*cking prude and let me do this. It will feel good. I promise." Closing my mouth I try to heed his words and shut my eyes closed.

That was the first night he molested me.

***End of Flashback***

"Gamma Yulia we are here." Opening my eyes and taking slow breaths I make my way out of the car being sure not to slide or scoot else I am given another memory. As the warm air hits me I find I can finally breathe properly and I turn to see the Bushuyet Lycan pack patiently waiting outside of their cars.

I recognize Andrei Ivanov immediately and I'm surprised to see the warmth and joy in his eyes. He actually seems pleased to be here. With a large build, packed on muscle and tattoos running down his arms he looks menacing but those bright blue eyes are welcoming. Even from two yards away I can see the brutal scars marking his face and all other visible skin but again he doesn't seem like the evil manipulating tyrant rumours make him out to be.

Making my way towards them the car behind Andrei turns off and the door opens. The first thing I notice is his smell. It's like nothing I've ever smelt before; it's a heavy musk with hints of citrus and some kind of alcohol, maybe vodka. But the man that steps out is what makes me dizzy.

Without the shadow of a doubt that is Alexei Ivanov. He too is marred with scars but unlike Andrei's they seem much more severe and somehow... a little sexy, especially the one long scar starting from the top of his hairline and ending under his chin. The right part of his mouth looks like it's in a permanent frown because of that scar but his lips still look full and lush. His eyes like Andrei's are bright blue but I can see the flecks grey in them from here and as he makes his way towards me I can make out the tattoos on his arms as well, though instead of different designs like Andrei's his are thick black tribal marks starting on his chest and ending at the tip of his middle finger. I'm beginning to understand that these tattoos are meant to cover up their scars so they don't look as threatening and yet I don't feel threatened at all. He has both of his ears pierced with small spacers in them and through his wife beater I can see he has another piercing as well. He has and is everything I can't stand about a man and yet I want him more than oxygen.

"Thank you for greeting us Gamma Yulia Remer. It is an honour to meet such a battle strategist as yourself." Andrei says smiling at me. I've learned quite quickly how to tell the difference between an honest smile and a snake and I'll be damned but Andrei seriously is a nice guy. The door to his left opens and out steps a beautiful woman with long honey brown hair and blue eyes with a greenish yellow centre. Her lips are big and full and her cheeks like mine are a little puffy making the smile she greets me with gorgeous. This must be Luna Irina. And if there are women that look like her in Russia I am more suspicious than ever as to why this pack is here.

"I am glad to see that you all have arrived safely and in such a timely manner. My enforcer here has your room keys and all accommodations will be assigned and made when we reach the recreation centre. Welcome to our pack." I say politely. I've noticed that Alexei hasn't taken his eyes off of me and I frankly can't bear to even look at him again for fear I might start to drool.

"As you may know I am Andrei Ivanov. This is my mate Irina Ivanov and my brother and Gamma Alexei Ivanov. My brother and Beta Alyosha sends his greetings from home. Your pack is beautiful and well-kept from what I can see so far. Shall we continue?" I nod and turn to my car again before I stop.

"While it is more than appreciated that you have 'graced' us with your ever so famous presence, I am not so easily swayed by smiles and little polite comments. Whether or not you are truly here to find your brother a mate is a truth I will uncover so I warn you and all who travel with you to tread lightly. We are a growing pack with growing ferocity and we will not be mocked or trifled with. No disrespect to you Alpha but you are on Dark Moon territory now. Do I make myself clear?" Andrei's eyebrows rise in both humour and respect. He understands what's at risk if he tries to do anything stupid or suspicious.

He's about to speak when Alexei beats him to it.

"Ona naglaya malen'kaya zhenshchina s sil'noy seksual'noy privlekatel'nosti. Ona glupo ugrozhat' vam , no ya chuvstvuyu , kak budto ona budet deystvovat' na yeye slova. Ya voskhishchayus' etim . Ochen'" (She is a brazen little woman with a strong sexual appeal. It is foolish to threaten you, but I feel as if she would act on her words. I admire that. Highly).His voice is low and gruff but the way he speaks sounds like running water; smooth and almost gentle.

Heat begins to pool in my belly at the sound of his voice and I have to berate myself for such a childish reaction. It's obvious that he doesn't trust us as much as I don't trust them which would explain why he's only speaking in his native tongue.

"Excuse my brother Gamma Yulia. He knows and speaks fluent English but he's just being a pest. I and my pack will heed your warning. And I assure you that we will give full disclosure to your Alpha when we meet with him." Andrei says firmly.

"Good."

Walking up to him I give him my hand to shake and he accepts with a firm handshake of his own. Now I turn to really leave this time and Andrei's pack follows. Being careful to sit slowly in the car I wind down the window and focus on the trees before my memories return.

***Flashback***

I've tried my hardest to avoid Tristan after what he did to me but he always finds me somehow. It's like I can't escape him and those disgusting memories. But he apologized profusely for his actions saying he was nervous and things went faster than he thought. He said it was a mistake. So I forgave him for what he did and we continued on as a couple but my trust of him was already waning.

Even now as I'm on another date with him I made sure to drive my car separately so I wouldn't be stuck with him again. Why am I even here? Can he really be trusted?

"Yulia? Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?" I look to Tristan and force a smile. He is a good guy. He just made a mistake. What matters is that he acknowledged it and apologized.

"Yeah sorry my mind wandered for a second there. Dinner was amazing Tristan. Where did you even find this place?" I ask him finishing my chocolate mousse.

"My dad and I used to go here a lot before he died. I never wanted to come back here but I wanted you to see it. It's really special to me. Just like you." He says with sincere eyes and a soft smile. My heart melts at his words and I don't hesitate when he asks if I want to ride with him to the lake he used to swim in as a child.

"This is it." He says turning off the car. His arm wraps around my shoulder and I lean into him comfortably. The moonlight reflecting off the water is so beautiful and calming that soon I find myself drifting asleep.

But I begin to awaken when I feel a hot hand groping my bare breast. I try to sit up but something is on top of me. I don't know how but I'm lying down now and I can barely move. Opening my eyes I see Tristan staring down at me with those evil lustful eyes again.

"Tristan stop this. You said the first time was a mistake!" I tell him shaking. He moves his hand from my breast and smiles smugly.

"Yes the first time was a mistake. It was a mistake because I didn't get to finish off. But this time I will. Now I want you to relax baby. I never hurt you last time did I?" He asks sounding as sweet as he did when he talked about the diner.

"No..." I say hating how weak I sound. My wolf isn't much help either. She's just quietly watching everything happen without any backbone to help me out of this.

"Then you know that this time it won't hurt either. So keep quiet alright?" I nod my head and shut my eyes like before.

This time he isn't gentle though. He's rougher than before and bites my nipples. It switches between biting, sucking and pulling and eventually I hear him grunt loudly and the car slowly stops shaking. He releases all over my bare breasts and rubs his member within his seed making it spread and drip down my sides. When I open my eyes again he has the peaceful and beautiful look from before.

"That's my girl."

That was the second time he molested me.

***End of Flashback***

The cars arrive at the rec centre just as Naal and Luka walk out with some babies in their arms, one of them being Savina. The sight of the adorable little angels sleeping on their chests chases away the horrible memories and I'm able to focus again.

Using my frequent routine to get of the car I smile at the boys and they both return it. Naal reaches me first and I take Savina into my arms and kiss her forehead. She's a heavy sleeper for sure but as soon as she rests on a woman's breasts there's no getting her up again.

"Is Tyffany in there?" I ask as Andrei's cars begin to pull up.

"Yeah it's her and Keegan in there. They're just getting dressed now." Naal says petting the child's head.

"So how did you end up with this little cutie?" I ask my mood feeling a thousand times better than before.

"She latched onto my leg and wouldn't let go." I laugh at his answer and hear a faint growl behind me. Turning I see Alexei watching myself, Naal and Savina with a mixture of obvious jealousy and confusion. Thankfully Keegan comes out looking refreshed and happy and a pregnant Tyff is right behind him.

"She's precious." I say to him trying to unhook her arms from my neck to give her to her father. Keegan chuckles at her resistance to let go and whispers something in her ear which makes her wake up and reach for him.

"Yeah she's something." Giving me a side hug he and Tyff leave and our attention turns back to Andrei.

"Welcome to the Dark Moon pack." Luka says greeting them. He and Andrei shake hands firmly and the size difference is astounding. I mean I thought Luka was big but in comparison he almost looks human.

"Thank you for having us Alpha Luka. It is a pleasure to be here." Irina saddles up into his side and he smiles wide before kissing the side of her head. "This is my mate Irina. And that brooding man over there is my Gamma and youngest brother Alexei. Don't pay him much attention he doesn't like flying." Andrei says laughing. Alexei scoffs at that but I see a twitch of a smile hit his lips.

"How about we go inside and I can show you all to your rooms. Once you're settled in and rested I will have a member send for you so we can have dinner. There we will discuss the rules and regulations of this gathering along with the real reason as to why you're here." Luka tells him with a smile.

There's a tension that settles as he says that but it breaks when Andrei smiles back and nods to his pack members to get their stuff. We all head inside the rec centre and take the elevator up. To my annoyance and secret pleasure Alexei makes a point of staying close to me the entire time. If this is his way of making a claim he has another thing coming

Luka takes the lead as the elevator opens and Andrei and Irina are right behind him. Naal is having a serious looking conversation with one of Andrei's enforcers and the rest are silently following behind leaving Alexei and I alone at the back.

"Vy ochen' krasivy." (You are very beautiful) He looks down at me as he says this and I have no clue what it means. So I sigh and stop walking. He's obviously not going to leave me be. Not that I want him to.

"I don't know what that means." I tell him. He looks at me with intense eyes and smiles a little making his scar look odd since most of his mouth looks happy but the right corner still looks upset. When he doesn't respond I just shake my head and continue to walk forward with him still beside me.

We reach the west wing soon after and the pack leaves to their rooms with Alexei watching me again before he closes the door. As Naal, Luka and I head back outside I can't help thinking about Alexei.

"You know when I said Alexei might have a thing for you I only meant it as a joke. But I saw the way he was watching you. I think he's made up his mind already." Naal says quietly.

"He's purposely speaking Russian to me knowing I won't understand. I don't get him." I say exasperated because that's what spending thirty minutes with Alexei does to me.

"Just be careful with him Yulia." Luka says with a hand on my shoulder. I know what he's referring to when he says that and I get upset because of it.

"I may not know Alexei but I do know that he's not like that. Without the shadow of a doubt he's not." Shrugging his hand off I storm away from the men and shift into my wolf. I didn't mean to snap at him but every time I look back at who I used to be I feel weak and I hate that feeling more than anything in this world.

***Flashback***

I don't know what to do. If I tell my father what happened then he will never let me speak to humans again and then he will make sure I remember just how right he was about them. If I tell my friends they will pity me and may even attack him. If I tell a teacher they will think I will need counselling... which I don't.

Damn it what do I do.

"Yuli are you okay? You've been really shaken up lately." Luka asks me during our free period. Tristan as the same period as me and he's being looking at me with the fakest "sincere" eyes I've ever seen.

"I'm fine." I tell him just like I tell everyone else. But I forget that Luka isn't everyone else. He's my best friend.

"I know you're lying but I'm not going to push you. Just know if you need help with anything at all just tell me. Hell you can even mindlink me if it will make things easier okay?" I nod and keep my head in my book but I can smell him coming towards me and it makes me sick.

"Hey Luka. You mind if I have a second with my girlfriend?" Tristan asks sounding more casual and laid back than he actually is. Luka hesitates before getting up, being sure to give my shoulder a squeeze as he leaves.

I don't look up from my book when he sits down. I barely even acknowledge his presence. I just do my best to ignore him.

"Baby... I'm so sorry. Really this time. I feel like the biggest asshole in the world. I hate myself for what happened. For what I did to you." He says quietly. His legs stretches to touch mine and I recoil away from him but he doesn't stop talking. "I need help babe. I can admit that. I need a lot of help but I need you to be with me. I need you by my side. Please Yulia." I take a peek at him from the top of my book and there are tears in his eyes.

"I can't trust you." I whisper to him. He wipes at his eyes and nods his head.

"I know. I can't trust myself." He says brokenly. That's what makes me drop the book and hold his hand. He needs help. He needs me to help him. So I will.

We leave the school and head to his house where his mom is. I agree to go there because I know she is home and he won't try anything. We stay in the living room where I can see her and she can see us and we talk. He tells me about his dad's passing and how that's affected him over the years. I talk to him about my aspirations and he tells me his. We hug and we are comfortable and I am beginning to trust. But then his mother leaves.

"I should head home now." I tell him standing up. But he yanks me back down and starts to kiss my neck. He says nothing and gives me no assurance that this won't hurt. I fight him because I will not be abused again but my wolf gives me no strength. I cry when he pulls at my pants. I bite when he tries to kiss me. I scratch when he gropes me and I scream when he penetrates me. He isn't gentle. He doesn't care. He doesn't stop and he doesn't slow down. All I feel is sickness and pain.

I'm about to pass out when I hear a loud rumble. A large grey wolf stalks into Tristan's living room. It's Luka. I must have called to him through the mindlink. He lashes out at Tristan and he jumps off of me scrambling to pull up his pants. Luka slashes him across the chest and arm and growls loud enough to make him run away. I don't move from my spot. But somehow I end up back at home with tears staining my shirt and blood staining my pants.

That was when he raped me.

***End of Flashback***

Running through the forest I fight at my memories trying to lock them away again. I don't want to feel helpless and weak. I want to be strong. I need to be. Racing around trees and under branches a black wolf appears from my right side and keeps pace with me. I've never seen this wolf before but I can tell by his scent that it's Alexei. Goddess he's persistent.

I pick up the pace and he rivals it as we venture all over the woods jumping, sprinting, and skirting through nature. At one point I'm not running from him anymore I'm just enjoying the sense of freedom this gives me and once I begin to get tired I start to search for a source of water.

Slowing down I stop at a stream to drink and he joins me. Even as he drinks his eyes are still on me and his stance shows me he's ready to chase after me if I make a dash for it. So instead I plop down by the water and rest. Alexei is quick to follow moving closer to me and scanning our surroundings before he drops beside me and rests his head on my back. We stay like this for what seems like a few minutes but as my eyes open again I notice the sun going down.

I can feel a good portion of Alexei's weight on me meaning he's fallen asleep too. Carefully I slip out from under him and shake out my fur. Looking at him now, the scars aren't as prominent as they are in his human form. In fact he kind of looks adorable like this. If I had a camera I would take a picture but I don't have time to stare. Gathering my bearings I watch him one last time before heading back towards the pack house to get ready for dinner.

I reach the house just as I feel Luka trying to enter my mind. Shifting back I have to look around a little more to find some clothes and I settle with an oversized man's shirt knowing I have spare clothes in Luka's office.

"There you are. I was wondering where you'd gone off to–" Luka says stopping to sniff the air around me. I flush knowing he's going to detect Alexei's scent sooner or later.

"I needed to cool off. I'm sorry for freaking out before. I've been thinking about it again." Immediately Luka stops trying to pinpoint the scent and pulls me in for a hug.

"I shouldn't have even insinuated it." I let him hold me for a few more seconds before I toughen up again and pull back.

"Are we just about ready?" He nods and I smile.

"Good do you mind if I use your office to change?" He looks down at the shirt I'm wearing and holds in a laugh.

"Be my guest." He says chuckling.

Rolling my eyes head to his office to get out of this and thankfully I find one of my favourite dresses still here. It's a midnight blue mini dress that works perfect for tonight. Changing quickly I pull my hair up into a high ponytail and take out my heels from his closet. Checking myself in the mirror I force myself to smile at the girl in front of me. The girl who isn't weak and helpless any more. The girl who is stronger than ever.

"Yuli are you ready? They're here." Luka says through the door.

"Coming." I reply applying a little gloss and mascara from my purse. It's always good to have a spare set of clothes in this office, I never know when I'll need them.

Giving myself a quick pep talk I leave his office and am greeted to the ever brooding presence of Alexei. He's changed as well wearing a long sleeve black V-neck allowing me to see the tattoos on his chest again and grey jeans. He looks really good but his face looks really... I don't actually know the word to describe. Maybe a mix between anger and anxiety.

"Vy ne razbudi menya." (You do not wake me up) He says frowning. As sexy as his voice is I can't stand not knowing what he's saying. His hand touches my bare shoulder and I flinch. Calming my heart I ignore the fact that he watched my reaction under a microscope and turn towards the dining area.

"Right well dinner is this way." I tell him walking ahead. With my combat boots on I am at his pecks in height so in my heels and I'm just under his shoulder.

"Kto tot chelovek, kotoryy prichinil vam takuyu ​​bol'?" (Who is the person who has caused you so much pain?) Again he says something to me but I keep walking straight as if I didn't hear him. It's not like I'll understand anyways. We're about to reach the dining area when he grabs my arm. Reflexes kicked into overdrive my claws extend and I slash at his shirt and draw blood. He doesn't let go of my arm as I begin to calm down to realize what I did.

"Oh Goddess. I'm so sorry Alexei. You shouldn't have grabbed me like that. I wasn't aware you were so close to me. I can get you another shir–" He stops my talking with a gentle kiss on my forehead and a hug pulling me into his chest. Again I want to attack him but I have to remind myself that he's not hurting me or forcing me to do anything. He's... he's comforting me. As if he knows.

"Boginya pomoch' ublyudka , yesli ya kogda-nibud' nayti yego." I can hear the words he's saying but I don't care to ask him what they mean again. It's not like he'll tell me.

"The translation of what I said is Goddess help the bastard if I ever find him." Alexei says slowly pulling back from the hug. My face burns at how obvious I was that he was able to tell the truth of my situation but then my stomach does a little flip at the desire and determination in his eyes.

"So now you want to speak English?" I ask him looking down from his face and letting my hand trace his now healed skin. He takes my face in his hand and makes me look up to him.

"Yes. Now I want to speak English." My mouth twitches into a smirk and I take a step away from him so I can think properly.

"What made you change your mind?" He smirks as well bends down to my height.

"I wanted to be able to speak to you and get a response." I smile at his confession and his eyes narrow in on my lips. The charge that jolts between us wakes up my lazy wolf and causes her to try and take control. I watch as Alexei's begin to swirl from blue to black as well and I lean closer into him.

"Hey Yulia we need to get this starte–" Naal stops mid-sentence and stares between Alexei and I. I can barely see him because I'm so lost in this man.

"Sorry about that Naal. Let's get this started." I say taking another step back.

I force myself to look away from Alexei and join Naal in the dining area. Seated are Luka, Willow, Andrei and Irina and three empty spaces for myself, Naal and Alexei. As I make my way to the two free seats on Luka's left Alexei is quick to pass Naal and sit in the seat closest to mine. Naal smirks at that and sits beside Andrei.

As I sit down I catch the big smile Andrei has on his face when he looks at his brother.

"Brat my ne byli zdes' v den', i vy uzhe vybirayete svoyu polovinku?" (Brother we have not been here a day and you already choose your mate?) He says making Irina smile as well. Alexei looks at him with a serious face as he responds.

"Ona zhestkaya i krasiva, no ona bol'no i skryvayet pravdu, pochemu. YA khochu, chtoby pomoch' yey, a zatem, kogda ona luchshe, ya khochu, chtoby otmetit' kazhdyy dyuym yeye kozhi, tak chto nikto ne budet kogda-nibud' prikosnut'sya k ney snova." (She is fierce and beautiful but she is hurting and hiding the truth as to why. I want to help her and then when she is better I want to mark every inch of her skin so no man will ever touch her again).

Irina blushes deeply at Alexei's response causing me to look at him to see if he may have said anything offensive to her. But by the look of his passive face he didn't say anything bad if anything he looks like he was being completely honest with them... I think. A silence stretches amongst the table and Luka clears his throat to get our attention again.

"Well then I've already informed Andrei as to how everything will happen for the next month so let's enjoy this food and then we can start admitting truths."