RAELYNN'S POV

TWO YEARS LATER

"Willow have you ever broken up with someone before?" I ask skimming through my World History textbook. The brunt of the book lands on Ralph's back and he grunts in annoyance before shifting his body closer to mine and resting head on my legs. My big bad wolf of eleven years is just a big old softie.

Looking back to my textbook I try my hardest to focus. I have a test on Friday that I've been studying non-stop for. To be quite honest history is my worst subject and not because it's boring, it's because I genuinely get confused between Lycan history and human history and in turn I get them mixed up. Doesn't help that the teachers think I'm purposely making my answers up for the fun of it.

"Well I haven't had a real boyfriend like Tobias before but I have rejected people plenty of times... why do you ask? Do you need some advice?" She asks quietly.

I laugh inwardly when she mentions Tobias. Those two have broken up more times than any couple I've ever met. It's usually Willow that's breaking up with him for some lame excuse; she wants to explore other options, she doesn't trust that he's being faithful, she needs time to herself, or she doesn't want to be tied down so early in her life blah, blah, blah.

They usually stay separated for around a week or two before Tobias gets frustrated and suspicious and comes storming over here to make sure no one actually tries anything with her or vice versa. Since they both have unlimited access to each other's territory and they are already recognized as each other's future mate there's never really any commotion when they get back together. It helps that Tobias's pack is closer to ours than any other.

There's only been one time in the past two years they've been together that Tobias has ever truly broken up with her before.

I remember it was around Christmas time last year when Willow and Tobias were on a break again she ended up kissing a Tracker under the mistletoe. She was only teasing when she said she'd do it but everyone already knew that she and Tobias weren't technically together and so he used that as his ammunition and went for it.

Most of the time the famous break ups happen no one dares try anything with Willow because they know she'll be back with Tobias before long but I guess he didn't get the memo. They had a thing for a few days until Tobias got wind of it. When I say he was furious I mean it.

*** Flashback ***

This Christmas I bought Colin a video game he so desperately wanted but never admitted to wanting it. He'd seen me browsing through YouTube and watched quietly behind me as I enjoyed the awesome trailer. Ever since then I'd caught him going back to that trailer over and over and the excitement on his face was more than enough proof.

"Do you like it?" I asked him as we made hot drinks for the little pups and members that were lingering around the pack house or playing in the snow. I was going to wait to give him the game on Christmas day itself which is still two weeks away but I couldn't wait any longer.

"I love it. Thank you so much Raelynn. My parents aren't fond of video games because it takes away time from my training so I wasn't sure how I would ever ask them for it. I'd actually forced myself to stop hoping. But you are the perfect girlfriend." He tells me adoringly.

"Well I do try my best to keep you happy but I'm sure if you keep saying that from time to time you'll get a lot more than just a video game." I tell him moving away from the drinks.

I know he can sense the underlying meaning of what I said and he raises an eyebrow before he smiles.

"You." He says, slowly walking towards me.

"Are." His hands encircle my waist.

"The." His head dips to the hickey he left on my neck and he bites it softly.

"Perfect." He licks that spot and I catch my breath.

"Girlfriend." When he raises his head to look at me I feel my face begin to heat up.

He lifts me from where I'm standing and places me on the counter before stepping between my legs. I know exactly what's about to happen and I welcome it. I've learned to love this part of our relationship very much. Even though I know he's probably dying inside because we haven't had sex he doesn't make it too obvious and treasures the little pleasure I give him.

His kiss starts slow like he always does now and my body immediately becomes aware of him. I pull him further into me and bite on his lip.

"Someone's beginning to get eager aren't they?" Colin teases me.

I roll my eyes and kiss him again. His low hum of approval sets me on fire and I feel my hand moving across his chest and down to his stomach. The more I explore the harder he kisses me and once I reach his belt buckle I know he's too worked up to ever stop me. It always gets like this.

I pull at it slowly and he growls deeply. So I unbuckle it quickly let my hand rest on his bulge before I squeeze it gently. His head drops lower into my shoulder and his hands slide up my legs and towards my bum where he squeezes it hard and pulls me even further into him so I can feel both my hand and his arousal against me.

"Is there something you want me to do Colin?" I say seductively like Willow has so vigorously taught me.

He pulls back from kissing my neck, his eyes swirling between brown and black and his canines glistening under the lights. I've always loved seeing him so worked up like this and to have him teetering on the edge of control. It's so hot!

"You know exactly what I want." He tells me with a husky voice.

"Say it." I tell him with more authority. His fingers are kneading my bum and I move my hand out of the way so he can push against me a little harder. It feels so good. I can understand why people want sex so badly. If what we're doing is anything close to it then damn I can't wait.

"I want you." He says lowly. I feel his hands wrap my legs around his back and I lock my feet.

"You want me what?" I tease. I can see him warring with his wolf and I smile wide.

"I want to f*ck you." My head falls back at the words he's said so many times before.

No matter what I love to hear him say it even though we both know it won't happen. It's the prospect of it happening one day that makes it so thrilling because we both don't know how far we will go. We don't know who will be the one to stop who.

"Oh Colin." I murmur out as he drops his head to my chest.

This is where things start to get hard to handle. Colin isn't a virgin and he was honest in telling me that he never really wanted to lose his virginity when he did but he was feeling pressured by his friends so he did it. But one thing I know Colin is good at and I'm still trying to get my bearings on is foreplay. He's the fricken master of seduction and he loves that I don't know what to do to truly stop him.

My head falls back as he licks and sucks on my exposed chest. Somewhere in my mind I know we should stop because someone could easily walk in on us but I don't care. Thankfully though I feel Colin lift me up and take me to one of the rooms nearby. There's a couch and a desk in here but I know all Colin sees is the couch as he lays me down on it gently before locking the door.

He returns to his teasing before he looks up to me with cautious eyes.

"What?" I ask him breathless. He lifts his head higher and gives me that shy smile I remember from when we first started to talk to each other.

"What I want to do to you is something you've never experienced before. It's something I've been dreaming of doing to you for months. But I want to be sure you're ready for this." He says with lust dripping from his voice. I'm surprised he was even able to speak a coherent sentence with the way he's so wound up.

"Yes I want this please Colin." I say pulling him to me again.

He smirks at that and pushes my sweater up off of my stomach and past my bra. My breasts are exposed to him though my bra is still on and I begin to get an idea of what he wants to do. Willow mentioned something about this being extremely pleasurable.

"This is going to sound so terrible but I have to admit I love the sound of you begging for me." Colin's eyes go completely black now and he slowly undoes my bra.

I gasp as the air hits me and cry out when his mouth latches onto my nipple. The first thought that comes into my mind is that if we don't at least try to have sex right now I'm going to die.

Colin is careful with his canines when he bites me and I am so surprised at how good this feels. His hand goes to my other breast and he massages it in the same motions he's using with his tongue before he switches places. When the cool air hits my now hot nipple I moan out some incoherent words that makes Colin growl his pleasure.

Through my thick haze of lust I feel him move on top of me and begin to grind against me like he's done before. My hands go to his hair and I don't know why I'm grabbing him so hard but I feel him wince at how firm I pull before he growls even lower and grinds against me even harder. My legs wrap around his back and his free hand travels around my back squeezing my bum really hard.

"C–Colin!" When I cry out his name I feel the most intense rush go through me and he lifts his head from my chest to kiss me really hard. One of his hands is groping me still and the other moves down to touch my heat and when he massages me through my tights I know the exact moment I experience my first ever climax and damn it's phenomenal.

My body shakes for a few seconds before I open my eyes and see Colin with the most pleased smile on his face but then he pulls back from me.

And this is when things get depressing.

I try to pull him back to me but my arms feel like jelly and he stands up to adjust himself.

"Colin–"

"It's alright Lynn. All I really wanted was for you to experience that and I'm so happy that you did so you don't need to say anything. Let's just enjoy this progression." He tries his best not to sound upset but he fails miserably.

"Yeah." I say sitting up from the couch. I fix back my clothes and run a hand through my hair. That really was amazing. But now I don't know what to do. Getting up I unlock the door and head back to the kitchen.

"We should get these outside now." I make sure to reheat the cold drinks before I start to put them on a tray. Colin nods and wordlessly follows.

This is what I hate; this awkward state we're put in after I reject any inclination of sex. I know he's not mad and he's more than willing to give me time but it still bothers me.

Sighing I put down the drinks and pull Colin close to me to kiss the crook of his neck. He has to bend a little for me to do so but he still sighs in gratitude and hugs me tightly.

"I'm sorry if I seem so miserable. I don't mean to. It's just hard on me." Taking his face in my hands I kiss him gently and he smiles.

"I know. It's hard on me too believe it or not." He laughs when I say this and I frown. "What?"

"Oh I know how hard it is on you. I can smell your arousal Lynn and it's heavy and so damn sweet. So it's definitely a consolation prize knowing I affect you as much as you do me." I hit his arm in shock but the blush that comes isn't from embarrassment.

"Shut up you horny wolf." He laughs again and picks up the tray of drinks.

"Yes my horny girlfriend." I laugh with him and this time we finally leave the kitchen.

We go to the training field where kids are making snowmen and angels. I call out that the drinks are ready and they come swarming over to me and Colin. I glance over to my right to see Luka and Naal having a conversation with each other and my heart pangs.

Which it shouldn't.

Especially after what just happened between Colin and I. But I guess it's just a reflex.

They both turn and catch me staring and I smile as softly as I can raising my almost empty tray of drinks to them. I feel myself dance inside when they nod and start to walk towards me. And as usual I feel my heart kick it up a notch when I take in the sight of Naal.

I don't know when it started but I've found myself beginning to become attracted to him. I mean how I feel for Luka is obvious but Naal, it's so weird and confusing and he's really hot and caring and he looks so damn good in that jacket because it makes his eyes stand out against the white snow.

I'm such a terrible girlfriend.

"Hey Rae. How have your Christmas holidays been going?" Luka asks as he takes a hot chocolate. My mind flashes back to what just happened with me and Colin and my cheeks burn.

Naal takes notice of my discomfort and leans closer to me.

"I'm going to account your red cheeks to this cold weather and not what I'm actually presuming." He says it as a joke but we both know he understands what happened which makes me fall just a little harder for him. He's always been so analytical and observant.

"My holiday is fine. Though I feel like we haven't spoken in so long... I miss you guys." I say honestly. Naal pulls me in for one of his long and comforting hugs and I feel so inappropriate for the thoughts going through my head.

"Well you've been busy with Colin and we've been hunting down clues and tracks towards Thomas along with many new developments for the pack. This year hasn't been kind to any of us." Luka says sounding more and more like the powerful Alpha he is. "But I won't lie, not being able to see your smile and hear your laughter as often as I'd like has definitely made the house seem emptier than usual."

I smile at the young woman who takes the tray from me and I use my free arm to hug Luka as tight as I can. He smells so good and feels so strong against me. And I bury my face in his chest so I can hear his heartbeat. I still love him so much.

TERRIBLE GIRLFRIEND!

"I've missed you too Raelynn. You're going to be seventeen in less than a month. I remember when you were seven. And now you're almost an adult. It's both perplexing and exciting." Naal says leaving a soft kiss on my head.

Being sandwiched between these two strong men makes me feel light headed and faint hearted. It was hard enough feeling this way about Luka but now with Naal slipping into the equation I don't know how to handle myself. Where's Colin when I need him?

I'm about to respond when I hear a loud crunching sound. At first I think it's merely someone eating way too loudly or maybe a pup snapping a branch but when I see a streak of red in the snow I know I've thought wrong.

Looking just a few feet away I see Tobias standing over that tracker's body with jealousy burning in his eyes. Willow is some feet away looking both shocked and pleased and the poor guy is just rolling around in the snow holding his broken nose.

"Do you think I am some kind of a fool? What the hell is this Willow? Why would you do this to me?" Tobias asks with pain lacing his words.

I mean he's really angry and I can tell by the way his body won't stop shaking but I think beyond that he's truly hurt that she would actually try to move on with someone else.

"Tobias it's not what it seems. We only kissed once before and it was nothing." She says cautiously walking over to him. I know she doesn't want to cause a scene but it's way too late for that now.

"Not what it seems? So I was mistaken in believing that you weren't leading this boy on just to make me jealous? That you didn't touch him and kiss him like you would me, knowing I would find out?" When Willow doesn't respond Tobias starts to shake his head.

"You have no right to be upset with me! We broke up!" Willow says holding out her hands.

"We've never truly broken up before Willow and you know it!" Tobias responds still shaking.

"Well yes but–"

"Not once have I ever touched another girl let alone looked at them since I'd met you. Not once had I ever thought to stoop this low just to get your attention. Never."

"Okay Tobias I understand I was in the wrong but–"

"There's nothing more to say Willow. You want us to break up then fine, you have your wish. Merry Christmas and blessed Winter's Howl. I won't be attending this year."

"Tobias wait! Please!" Willow screams after him and we all turn away from the sad scene.

We all knew it was a risk to try and fool around with this tracker but I will admit I've never seen Willow look so devastated in my life.

***End of Flashback***

The reservation in her voice makes me close my book again waking up Ralph from his sleep. This time he growls low and nudges me in the stomach softly as his way of telling me to shut up. The older he gets the grumpier he becomes. What a baby. I comply anyways and run my hands through his fur. It's getting lighter now that he's losing his undercoat again.

"So I'm seventeen right?" I start but Willow rolls her eyes and sits up with me.

"Yeah way to rub it in." She remarks snidely. I smirk at her apparent jealousy and continue.

"Like I was saying, I'm seventeen now and Colin is nineteen. His parents are starting to ask him personal questions about our relationship and I know it's because–"

"They're hoping the two of you will be mates! That's so perfect! Has he asked you yet? Are you going to do the human thing and wait till you're eighteen? Oh my Goddess! Are you going to get married?!" I put a hand to her mouth to stop her from talking and she narrows her eyes at me.

"Let me finish please." When she sighs and nods her head I take my hand from her mouth and continue... again. "I know they're asking because they want him to find a mate and whether or not they want that girl to be me is beyond me but I've been thinking."

"About what?" Willow pipes up again this time sounding bored.

"I will be eighteen next year and... Well Luka will be twenty-two... And so will Naal. And I've just been thinking. About a lot lately–"

"This is a first." Willow says quietly.

"What's a first?" I ask still petting Ralph. She shrugs lightly and plays with her shirt.

"You've never usually included Naal in your conquest for love." She replies. I nod and rest my head on Ralph silently thanking Doctor Ewan for the herbs and potions he's been giving him to keep this wolf stronger and healthier than any before him.

"Yeah well... I don't know. I think it may have started after I kissed him two years ago–"

"HOLD ON A SECOND YOU KISSED NAAL?" Willow asks effectively knocking her textbook to the ground. I blush and sigh.

"Not on the lips... not fully at least. I don't know why I did it and I can't remember what I was thinking. I just remember moving towards him and kissing him on the cheek but somehow I kissed a bit of his lips. After that I started to see Naal in a different light. When we would be training I found I couldn't pay attention because he just looked so good all of a sudden. It was so distracting. So I started to avoid both of them and focus more on Colin, you know try and play the good girlfriend card." I say pathetically.

"I can't believe I didn't know this sooner." Willow looks genuinely upset when she says this and I throw a pillow at her.

"Can I continue?"

"Wait, do you think Naal could feel the same way? I mean I know he's just as protective of you as my brother so it's possible." She has a valid point.

"I don't know... all I know is as soon as I turn eighteen next year no matter how hard either them tries they won't be able to see me as a child anymore because I will be a legal adult."

"And you're hoping if you're single it will give them a choice to be with you?" She asks curiously. I nod slowly and sigh.

"Yes." I admit honestly. Willow sits back on her headboard and hums to herself.

"Well then I say go for it. If you're not going to be completely head over heels for Colin then you might as well end it and I can admit that being eighteen will help to change my brother's and Naal's perspective of you. Either way if it's what you truly want then it's a risk worth taking." I jump into Willow's arms and hug her tighter than I've ever hugged anyone before.

"Do you seriously mean it? I mean do I even have a chance?" I ask her nervously. She shrugs in response and picks back up her Calculus book.

"In all honesty I have no idea if you have a chance but again it's worth a try."

"Thanks for the faith bestie." I make sure she can hear the sarcasm.

"You're more than welcome bestie." She replies laughing at me as I throw a pillow at her head.

"Don't get lost in your book already I need help with Colin. What am I supposed to say to him?"

"How about, 'Hi you amazing boyfriend' because that's a perfect start." We both turn to see Colin standing in the doorway with a rose in his hand. Just great.

"Hi Colin... um what are you doing here?" I ask him already feeling my nerves shoot through the roof at what I'm about to do. He looks at me as if I'm crazy and frowns.

"What do you mean what am I doing here? You asked me over so I could help you study. You said I wasn't allowed to tease you this time because this test is really important and I promised I would only kiss you every time you got an answer right." He says apprehensively.

I vaguely remember us having that conversation a few days ago but now it seems so irrelevant.

"Oh yeah. Right. Well I don't need your help with that anymore. But I'm glad you're here." I tell him softly. He mistakes my change of voice for seduction and he moves closer to me with a smirk playing on his cute lips. Man I'm going to miss those lips.

"Are you now? What are you going to do with me?" Colin says leaning in to nuzzle my neck.

"She's going to break up with you." We both turn around to the snide voice of Willow behind me. Her face is impassive as she continues to write out math equations and I feel like choking the life out of her.

"Wh–What?" Colin stutters taking a step away from me. Sighing I take him by the arm and pull him into the hall.

"Colin–"

"Tell me that was just a joke. Tell me Willow's just trying to be annoying or something." I try my hardest not to look in his eyes because I know they'll be pleading with me to tell him the lie he so desperately wants to be the truth.

"Colin–"

"If this is about me not mating with you it's only because I want to wait until you turn eighteen. I've already told my parents to lay off and they have. They are willing to wait just as I am." He says holding my hands to his chest. "And don't worry about the not having sex thing. I don't care about that anymore. It's never really been an issue for us anyways. Right?" He asks desperately. I blow out a breath in frustration and Colin continues.

"But if you want to do it now we can! I'm willing to. I'll do it if you want me to. Please just tell me that. Please." The desperation in his words forces me to look up and what I see almost makes me change my mind... but almost isn't enough.

"Colin I'm in love with someone else." I confess honestly. The blatant hurt that burns in his eyes makes me look away again. But I feel his hands begin to tighten against mine and I try to yank them away.

"Who is he? How long has this been going on for? Did you cheat on me with him?" I listen as his voice travels lower and lower in bass until I know his wolf has taken over.

"Colin I suggest you let me go before one of us gets hurt." I say as calmly as I can.

"One of us? You mean you." His wolf replies in anger. I watch little hairs begin to sprout on his hands and travelling up his arm and I begin to strategize which pressure point to hit first.

"No she means you. Remove your hands from her now or I will do it for you." The sound of Naal's angry voice makes us both jump.

I try to pull my hands back again but Colin still won't let me go. Instead I twist my hands around his to release the grip and hit him twice before stepping back. The points that I hit will help him gain control again. I'm not dumb enough to actually try to engage Colin in a fight now with the state he's in. I slowly make my way towards Naal and stand by his side. It's the smartest thing to do.

"I suggest you leave the pack house now before you show you out myself. And if I ever see you laying a hand on Raelynn without her consent again... I'll break every bone in your body beyond repair. Am I clear?"

Naal's wolf is beyond mad right now if the way he's trembling is any indication. Colin looks at Naal and then to me and I watch his wolf release control and the heartbreak seep back into his eyes. I didn't mean for this to happen. I whole-heartedly wanted to love him the way I should have but I couldn't.

"I apologize Beta for my mannerisms it won't happen again." His eyes never leave mine as he says this and he walks up to me with pain written all over him.

"I love you. I was trying to find the right time to say those words to you but I was too afraid to admit it. And now it seems I'm too late..." He pauses and wipes at his eyes. "I love you so much Raelynn Dawson and I would have made you happy if we mated. But I can't change the way you feel no matter how much I really want to."

He leans into me looking me in the eyes and gives me the most devastating kiss I've ever received before stepping back and walking away.

***

I've always loved kids. Even as a kid I loved kids. There's something beautiful about their innocence, something serene. So as I play with Keegan and Tyffany's baby girl Savina I find myself forgetting about the disgusting news that Colin has been sleeping around with girls left, right and centre. Instead I enjoy this blue eyed brown haired beauty wholeheartedly.

"Isn't she so cute?" I look up to see Tyffany smiling down at us. She makes an amazing mother.

"She looks exactly like Keegan so yes she's cute. And she's smart too." I say giving Savina a raspberry to the tummy. She giggles and pulls at my curls making me laugh with her.

"That boy has such a dominant gene. Thank God she at least got my eyes."

"And they are an amazing set of eyes for sure." I say letting Savina go and watching her waddle towards her mom.

"So I heard you're planning a big party in tomorrow." I nod at her assumption and pick at the grass beneath me.

"All of you guys are going to be twenty-one and even though you're all great, I'm planning something for Luka and Naal. They haven't had a big birthday party since the power change and even then it was less of a birthday party and more of a 'You're in charge now so get to work' initiation kind of thing." I say watching the little baby crawl in the grass.

"Yeah I get ya darling. We've all missed you though. No offense but you used to be Luka's little shadow and now you're your own woman with a boyfriend–"

"Ex–boyfriend." I say bitterly. Tyffany raises an eyebrow at that and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Did something happen honey?" The concern in her voice makes me want to laugh since it should be directed at someone other than me.

"I broke up with him." I tell her stoically.

"Did he do something wrong?"

"No I just didn't feel the same way for him as he did for me." I shrug my shoulders trying to seem casual but just thinking about him reminds me of what I've been hearing and that makes me angry all over again.

"OH. Okay I can understand that. As long as you're okay and he's okay as well."

"Oh he's more than okay. He's been having sex with every girl he sees. I guess it's his way of shoving in my face what I was missing." I can't believe how jealous I sound right now.

"When did you two break up?" She asks timidly.

"About a month ago."

"Does it hurt?"

"More than I thought it would." She laughs at that and pulls me in for a hug.

"Don't let him bother you. He's just being a heart-broken boy." I nod smiling weakly.

"If that's what heart-broken boys do then I am disgusted. Anyways I really hope you can make it to the party tomorrow I know with Savina it's not always easy but it won't be the same without you and Keegan."

"Oh don't you worry sweetheart we will be there. Keegan's mom is more than happy to babysit Savina." We both watch as said baby comes waddling back into my arms to pull on my hair again. I think she likes the way it bounces or something.

"Well I'm glad to hear it then. I have to get going." I give Savina a big kiss and hug Tyffany close before I go to look for Kyle and Jason.

Thankfully I find them close by and make sure they have everything ready for the party and when they assure me they do, then do I head back to my room to choose an outfit.

***

"I want to say thank you to our party planner and closest friend Rae for throwing this in honour of both of us. This is a well needed break for sure." Everyone raises their glass to me and I smile and wave.

Everything is going perfectly. I invited all of their friends and some family to this party. I wanted it to be intimate but fun at the same time so I made sure it was clear that it wasn't open to the entire pack. Sure they're great but they have a tendency of treating Luka and Naal like leaders even when they're trying to relax. It's best that they can be themselves without a hitch today.

"I'm also very glad you guys are all here today as it makes this much easier to say. Naal, Yulia and I have spoken with the elders of our pack and the elders of the packs nearby and we have come to a mutual agreement. This time two months from now we will be hosting a gathering for all high ranking pack members looking for a mate. We've agreed that although searching for mates within our pack is tradition it helps to broaden the potentials and create alliances by inviting other packs to join us. It will be a four day event which will include a grand party. I am expecting you as both my friends and the heads of your respective ranking to be courteous and helpful to any visiting members. This is a very big step and I will need all of your help to make sure this is accomplished appropriately and with the best results." He pauses and something in me freezes at his next few words.

"Naal and I are both hoping this event will finally give us what we've been looking for... our mates."

And there went my hopes.