Naal's POV

I could feel her anger from the training field and it stirred my wolf. It wasn't polite of me to ease drop on their conversation but Luka left his mindlink open again and I was curious to know more about this budding young Alpha anyways. And I must say I am more than surprised at who he seems to be.

Tobias will be a force to reckon with if he continues on this path. Although the Blue Moon pack is smaller than most they have loyalty like none I've ever seen and that is strong in itself. Let alone if he does mate with Willow the alliance between our packs will make them stronger than ever. It's definitely something to look forward to.

"That's enough for the night pups head home already. I'm sure your parents are wondering where you are." The two thirteen year olds finally stop sparring and fall to the grass in a heap. They're both training to be warriors and they personally asked me to watch their practicing. I think humans call people like them brown nosers? But I think it's smart for them to come to me. I may not be the strongest fighter but strategically I'm deadly.

"Thank you Beta Naal for staying to watch us." One of the pups says still gasping for air.

"Yes we really appreciate it." His opponent says trying to sit up.

"It was my pleasure believe me. You both have your strong suits and with a lot more practice and fine tuning you will be far better than you've ever imagined. But it is always best to spar with someone you don't know. That increases your chances of winning and losing so you will be able to account for your mistakes and you victories better. In reality you won't be often blessed with the chance the fight someone you know and studied. Now get moving, the moon will be rising soon." I tell them helping both up simultaneously.

Before I go to check on Rae I make sure they've headed in the right direction first. I can't afford to have them getting lost right now.

Turning to the pack house I smile. I'm sure I'm going to be hearing about this from Luka soon and no doubt he will complain and fuss about why he believes he is right and so on but for now, what's Luka's loss is my gain.

***
"You know I could sense your frustration from outside." I say quietly.

I don't enter her room as of yet even though her door is open; which means she isn't too upset right now, just most likely disappointed... I know the feeling.

"Come in Naal." Stepping in I close the door gently behind me and stay where I'm standing.

"I just don't understand why–" Rae starts but I choose to interrupt her.

"You want to know what I've learned these past few years?" She closes her mouth at my question and beckons me to sit next to her but I still stay standing. I love the look of disappointment that flutters across her face at my rejection.

"What's that?"

"It's that no matter the species, man or lycan, we are selfish." Her eyes widen at my answer before they're cast down to her painted toes.

"I guess I know where you're going with this." Rae mutters.

"If you do then please finish what I will say." I tell her kindly. She sighs and lifts her eyes again.

"You're going to say that it's selfish of me to expect Luka to feel the same way I do. And that's wrong." My smile softens at her voice and I finally sit beside her.

"In part yes but what I mean is this. We are selfish. We want what we can't have and when we have it we want more. Is it fair to be so greedy? Is it right to constantly chase after things we want when we have what we are blessed with? What will we gain from that? What will we lose? Is your friendship with Luka worth losing by constantly pushing him away and pulling him back? Are you the ocean? Are you the moon? Do you create the constant push and pull of the waves?" She giggles at my analogy and shakes her head.

"Alright, alright. I understand." Taking her hand in mine I kiss it softly and hold it against my cheek.

"My dear Raelynn. You know that I love you right?" She nods and smiles brightly.

"I love you too Naal." Hearing those words warms my heart and spreads throughout my chest like wildfire.

"Then you know I care about you. So much so that when you're in pain it bothers me to no end. But I also care for Luka. He has so much weighted upon him now. He has to be strong for not only himself anymore and you know that. Causing him this stress, though real and true, isn't necessary nor is it fair. I am not telling you to stop feeling whatever it is that you feel, I am only telling you to be happy with what you've been blessed with."

"And what is that? You?" Her attitude flares again but I don't let it bother me even though she should be more than happy to have me.

"Yes of course!" I say proudly. She rolls her eyes and giggles while hitting my shoulder and I smile with her but then I begin to sober up.

"But no. I mean Colin." By the deflation of her body I know she can't help but see the truth now. "How it is fair to have him care for you the way he does if you will not wholeheartedly reciprocate it? Why bait him on?"

"I'm not baiting him on! I really do like him." She says in earnest but even I can hear how hollow her words sound.

"Raelynn have you ever heard the story of Helen of Troy?" Taking her hand from my cheek I still hold it in mine.

"Yeah I think so. She was the women that brought on a war. She was so beautiful and so loved that she... oh."

"So you're beginning to understand then?" I ask her softly. She nods her head once again but this time in defeat.

"I understand and you're right. You always are." Holding her chin gently I turn her to look at me and I smile.

"This isn't about me being right. This about what is right and what is wrong. Your feelings for Luka may feel right but setting aside Colin and confusing both men is wrong. Let alone how Zuri must feel." Tear gather up in her beautiful eyes and she slowly accepts the truth.

"Ok. I just... I can't believe I was so selfish. I'm acting like the girls I can't stand! When did I become so weak? I didn't mean to be seriously I didn't but... oh Colin. He's so sweet and kind and I just treated him like... Poor Colin. I should apologize." She says more to herself than to me.

I can sense she is still at war with what she feels which makes it harder for me to handle because I really do wish this was about me but I set aside my heart, again, and put her first.

Pulling her forward I kiss her forehead and breathe in her scent. I've missed her more than she'll ever know.

"Yes you should and then you should get some rest." I say reluctantly pulling back. I watch her as she sits up from her bed and heads to her door. I'm about to follow when she stops and turns towards me.

"Naal... I don't know who I'd be if it weren't for you. I mean I know I'd be fine but you... you've always been here right behind me to make sure everything is ok. Even when Luka isn't there you are... Whoever you choose to mate with I really hope she deserves you." She smiles brightly as she says this and heads towards Luka's room. Taking her place by the door I look around her room and sigh.

"I really hope she, is you."

***

Walking through the forest at midnight is one of the most relaxing sensations I've ever experienced. With no human sound to corrupt the peaceful silence I have time to reflect. Time to myself is something that now I am the Beta, I really don't have any more and it's something I've learned to appreciate. But the worst part about being alone in silence is that you're alone in the silence.

Being in this silence means I'm alone with my thoughts, with my troubles... with my demons. Demons meaning the incessant thoughts of constant bodily harm to both Colin and Luka on a nightly basis. Dark, horrible thoughts that I have to push away from my mind so I don't act on them. Even when I really want to.

You need to make your claim on the female now! We've waited long enough. If she stays with this pup she will be lost to us.

"It's not that easy. I can't force her to feel that for me yet. It would be the exact same thing she is doing to Luka. I'd be a hypocrite."

Who gives a damn about hypocrisy!

"I do and I can't be that person. She needs someone she can trust and someone who will be there for her when everyone else fails. She's already acknowledged that I am that person. Now it's just a waiting game for just a few more years. And then when she is of age I will make it clear."

THAT WILL TAKE TOO LONG!

"There is no other way I will go about this." My wolf growls in response but says nothing else. There is nothing more for him to say, Raelynn is only fifteen years old I can't expect anything from her right now. It would be pedophilia to humans and though those rules don't realistically pertain to lycans I still believe she should have a solid life and enjoy her youth before she is claimed. Besides with the way I have this planne–

The sound of a branch breaking sets off my internal alarms. Someone is following me and by their scent it's a female of my pack. Relaxing a little I continue to seem oblivious but worry begins to seep in. I don't know how long this female has been following me but if she is smart then she would have understood that who I was speaking about was Raelynn. And if this woman is as loyal to Luka as I fear then she will stop following me soon and tell him my intentions.

And I can't have that happening. Not yet.

Picking up my pace I scan my surroundings for a stable tree to perch on and soon I find one not ten feet away from me. Pausing my stride I focus my senses to locate where this female is and I make a dash for the tree. Smirking when I hear her gasp I jump and grab onto the nearest branch launching myself up in the air and perch onto the strongest limb of the tree

"Why are you following me? No better yet what makes you think it's a good idea to follow me in the first place?"

I watch as the female emerges from the shadows and I'm shocked to find it's only Mara.

"Relax Naal I mean no harm." She walks towards me slowly with her arms raised.

"Why were you following me?" I ask jumping down from the tree. We meet each other halfway and the worry begins to intensify. Mara and I already have a complicated relationship but her loyalty to Luka is unwavering and we all know how he is with Raelynn.

"I just wanted to check up on you." She moves closer to me but stops when she notices I'm not in a welcoming mood.

"What did you hear?" Her eyes shift at my question answering what I've been worrying about.

"It's so clear to everyone how Luka feels about little Raelynn Dawson, but you... I'm surprised I didn't notice it before. You've always been so selective when it comes to women and I know you're not gay. Who would have guessed you were just biding your time?" Mara says with a laugh. As if there is some joke I'm missing out on.

"There's no point in denying it. I want Raelynn to be my mate. Not anytime soon but eventually. Will you tell Luka?" She shakes her head no but I can sense there is something else she wants.

"It's not my business to tell Luka anything when it truthfully doesn't concern him. But what I will say is this, it's never going to work out the way you want it to with Raelynn. She will never want you the way she wants Luka. Hell she'll never look at you the way she even looks at her boyfriend. You are a brother to her and the sooner you get that the easier it will be."

I can feel the change even before she finishes her sentence. My wolf isn't just mad, he's furious. So when I slam her against the nearest tree with my hand at her throat all I can get out of my mouth is a growl.

"The truth is a bitch Naal. Like learning that the man you've grown to love is enamoured by another girl who is four years younger than him and a human no less. It stings huh?"

Again I growl out but this time I can actually speak.

"What do you want Mara?" I snarl out with my canines tracing her neck.

"I will keep your secret as long as you make me a promise." Her breathing hitches when my tongue darts out to lick a vein.

"What is it?" I feel one of her hands slide up my chest while the other slips lower down my abdomen.

"When Raelynn rejects–"

"IF!" My wolf corrects her.

"If Raelynn rejects you I want to be your mate. I've been waiting long enough for you and I will continue to wait."

Her hand slips under my shirt and into the jeans I'm wearing. Unlike Luka I'm still a virgin and I haven't had the time or the interest to lose it to any woman yet. But with the frustration and anger flowing through me along with the adrenaline that Mara's touch is giving me I doubt I'll be a virgin for much longer.

"If that were to happen then yes I will mate with you." Mara's wolf surges forward and removes my hand from her neck.

"Then we should get started." My pants fall to the forest floor as Mara's eyes turn black. This is not where I imagined I would have sex but at this current moment I couldn't care less. And when she grips my length with a smile on her face I know tonight will be memorable.

I watch as she sinks down onto her knees and licks my member slowly and a sensation like nothing I've ever felt before rushes through me. I barely know what to do with myself as she continues her assault so I grip the tree in front of me and supress the growls rumbling within my chest. Pushing my senses farther out I make sure no one is around to witness what's about to happen and when I hear nothing I growl out loud and pull Mara up.

"You know I've never done this before right?" My lips are sucking on her neck and under her ear and her hands are still touching my member.

"Yes and neither have I. I'm sure we will get the hang of it." She turns around and faces the tree. I watch as she slowly undoes her shorts and slides them off in a very sexy manner. Seeing them fall off her hips is oddly erotic.

"Mara maybe we shouldn't do this. My wolf is still upset and I fear he won't be gentle with you." As I finish my sentence her underwear falls to the ground sealing our fate.

"Then don't be gentle."
***

"Naal you seem very preoccupied. If you're wondering if I apologized I did. Luka said I didn't need to but I know he was more than happy to hear it. I also told Colin that I was sorry for seeming aloof and well... you don't need to know what he said to that. I was going to apologize to Zuri but then I laughed and went to training instead. So everything should be good now I promise."

Somewhere in the back of my mind I know Raelynn is talking to me and yet I can't seem to focus on it. Her voice is my beacon but I can't reach it. Instead all I can hear are Mara's screams and cries of pleasure. All I can feel are her nails scratching my back drawing blood. All I can taste is sweat in my mouth and smell our scents mixing together.

Sex was never a priority for me but now I feel as though I need it all the time. It's only been a month since that encounter and every chance I get I am at it again. Driving into her over and over until exhaustion. I swear I'm beginning to crave her.

And yet the worst part of all of this is that I still love Raelynn. And I know deep down I will never truly love Mara the way she wants me to. So is it right for me to use her like this? Have I become the bad guy?

"NAAL!" My eyes focus on Raelynn standing over me with a frown on her face.

"I'm sorry did you say something?" I say rubbing my eyes.

"No I wasn't talk for the past 20 minutes. What's up with you today?" She puts her glove on the floor and drops her ball beside it. I was supposed to be helping her with softball today but I've been so side-tracked lately.

"Nothing you want to hear about I'm sure. I apologize for not paying you any attention. Get to work on your underhand pitching. Ever since you started this dance thing at your school you've been great with your flexibility and leg strength but your upper body strength is lacking." I tell her pulling at the tree branch beside me. I wait for her to begin again but instead she just stares at me as if I'm the biggest idiot she's ever seen.

"I already know that because you told me the exact same thing yesterday when I asked you to help me out. You literally said it word for word. So what's going on? Really?"

Sighing I move away from the tree I'm leaning on and walk into the forest. I can hear Raelynn a few steps behind me and I continue to venture deeper and deeper until I'm there.

"After all these years, this spot is still intact." I tell her sitting on the branch. She follows me by sitting beside me and memories dance around the back of my head. Of a younger us... a much happier us.

"What's wrong? I know you're not one to openly express yourself but you're also not one to keep secrets from me of all people. Are you ok?"

"I don't know that you'd want to know Raelynn. It's very personal." She scoffs at that and scoots closer to me.

"This is coming from the same guy who came to my room in the middle of the night to scold me for loving two guys at once." We both laugh at that and I concede.

"That is true. But it's my job to make sure the Alpha has a clear head and with everything that's been happening..." I stop talking to see her shaking her head. "Alright fine. Mara and I had sex about a month ago and I can't stop." I blurt out. I feel my face begin to burn red at the confession.

"Can't stop?"

"Going back to her for it." There's a silence for a few seconds before Raelynn bursts into laughter. "I didn't know it was something to be laughed at." I tell her trying my hardest not to feel offended.

"Naal come on! So what? You're lusting after her! It's not a big deal and it's quite common. You're a guy and there's nothing wrong with being a guy especially since I've seen the chemistry between you two."

"Chemistry? Really now?"

"Of course!"

"But don't your beliefs contradict people having sex before wedlock?" She stops laughing at that and bites her lip. This is a new trait.

"Yes. You're right it does... well I mean I can't speak for God but I believe that with the relationship you and Mara have it's kind of like being married so in a sense it's not wrong. Then again when he spoke of that law I don't think it pertained to Lycans anyways. So maybe there is a loop hole?" I can't help laughing at her question. She's adorable.

"Thanks for trying. I guess my only problem is the sex is merely physical. I know exactly how Mara feels for me but it's hard to reciprocate those feelings." Raelynn takes my hand in hers and rests her head on my shoulder.

"I know how that feels believe me. But sometimes you have to put your heart on the backburner and let common sense take control. It's usually the best way for you to go to bed with a clear head and a good conscience. If you don't feel the same way for Mara as she does for you then make that clear and if she still wants to pursue you then she will understand that the only person that can truly hurt her is herself."

Taking the time to truly let the words that Raelynn just spoke sink in I realize that, if even physically possible, my heart just grew for her; more in the sense that my love and respect grew for her. Goddess I honestly don't think people understand just how smart Raelynn really is.

"Well wow. That... that really helps. It actually lifted my spirit. Thank you Raelynn for your honesty." Smiling I stand and help her up.

"You're more than welcome Naal. This is what friends do."

And there's the sucker punch to the heart.

"Yes of course." I watch as she walks ahead of me with a pep to her step while I slowly digest what Raelynn just said. It stings, ok no it's like a cloak of silver has been draped over my heart but it's nothing I can't get passed.

"Oh and Naal." Looking up from the branches and grass at my feet I find Raelynn still smiling up at me.

"Yes Raelynn?" She moves closer until she is almost face to face with me.

"You're an amazing man and you're one of the kindest people I know so believe me when I say that this is only a minor setback. Whatever you may or may not feel for Mara doesn't change who you are instead it helps to mould you into the man you will become. Soon you'll be back to your normal self just like me and we can continue on with our life with ease. Besides... I need you to be you so I can be me."

I'm about to respond when Raelynn rises to the tips of her toes and kisses me on the side of my mouth. I don't know if she intended to do that or if I may have moved a little more than I should have but it doesn't matter because I felt it. I felt her. I felt us and what we could be and it feels f**king fantastic.

"You mean everything and then some to me Naal Ryon. And if Mara can't say that to you with the most sincere heart, then don't waste your time on her. Amazing sex or not." Her hand cups the area she just kissed and she smiles even wider before whistling low.

Ralph trots towards us with eyes focused solely on her and after he's circled her to make sure she has no injuries, does he finally acknowledge me with a nudge to the leg. Raelynn leaves her hand out for him to go to and once he reaches her they begin to head back to the pack house.

My heart is set to jackhammer and won't slow down and my hands are shaking slightly but by far this is probably the best day of my life which allows me to finally move forward and start my walk back home.

If I wasn't so distracted by everything that just happened I would have been able to sense that Mara was nearby and that she'd witnessed the whole thing.

PICTURE OF MARA ABOVE

***

Ok folks can we just discuss this chapter? I mean seriously! WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED???