Kabanata 9

The following days, I avoided Clary's questions about Sarathiel. I also tried diverting the topic to Alex — pero napupunta pa rin kay Sarathiel 'yung usapan.

Ghad, Sarathiel pati ba naman sa bahay binubulabog mo ang mundo ko?

Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang palagi na lang kaming nagkakaroon ng interaksyon.

It's not like we're super close. Hindi ko na siguro siya sobrang kinaiinisan pero hindi pa naman naaalis ang pagkamuhi ko sa kanya dahil minsan hindi ko tanggap na mas mataas ang mga scores niya sa akin sa mga core subjects namin. Although, I have to admit that I see him as a friend now. A rival but a friend.

Sabado no'ng araw na 'yon at saktong nasa sala ako dahil gumagawa ako ng powerpoint para sa isang presentation namin sa EAPP. Clary excitedly went to my side. Nilingkis niya ang kamay niya sa braso ko habang nakanguso.

"Can you just give me his number, please?" Clary pleaded, giving me her puppy eyes.

I stopped typing, my fingers were getting numb. Lumingon ako sa kanya at kitang-kita ko ang pagasa sa kanyang mga mata. She was really hoping and I could just give it to her but...

I contemplated if I should give it to her or not. Pero sa huli ay binigay ko na lang para hindi na niya ako guluhin.

I swallowed hard because deep inside I didn't know why did I even have to hesitate. I shouldn't question it! She's my cousin! Kadugo ko siya at kung susundin natin ang kasabihan na 'blood is thicker than water' I shouldn't even consider Sarathiel as someone I should care for.

Yet, I feel that I did something bad to him.

Nasira lamang ang litanya ng aking iniisip nang tumili si Clary nang matanggap ang text ko ng number ni Sarathiel.

"Thank you so much! I swear, ikaw ang bride's maid sa kasal namin." Hagikgik niya habang tuwang-tuwa sa pagtitipa sa cellphone niya.

Hindi ko alam bakit natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. I choose to ignore the uneasiness that I feel because I didn't have the right to feel this way.

I shouldn't feel this way.

Kaya naman iiwasan ko na lang si Sarathiel. It was easier this way. I didn't want to feel awkward with him. It also didn't made sense why the both of us are speaking to each other. Magka-iba kami ng strand- wala namang common saamin bukod sa core at applied subjects.

My shoulders slowly slumped. Ang bigat sa pakiramdam dahil kailangan kong mamili. Can I just have them both? Pero mukhang mali kung sakali.

I don't even know why it felt like it was wrong. We are just friends...

I did appreciate he treated me as his friend, though.

It was fun while it lasted.

I looked over my phone and realized that I have to choose. Si Clary ba o si Sarathiel — and I know the reasonable answer, it was Clary and it will always be her. Pinsan ko siya at siya ang kasama ko nang mas matagal. Sarathiel on the other hand...

I nibbled on my lower lip, hindi madugtungan ang dapat sabihin. Sarathiel was a friend. He was just a friend...

He shouldn't make me feel like he was more than that.

Undas break was over. I decided to block Sarathiel on Facebook and his number too. Bumisita rin kasi ako sa bahay namin sa Batangas kaya pagbalik ko sa Manila ay para na naman akong bagong salta.

I was walking towards the ABM building, pagod at tulala dahil sa haba ng biyahe pauwi ng Maynila. I didn't want to go back yet because I was enjoying my stay in our province. Pero may pasok na kasi kung kaya't nabitin ako sa aking bakasyon.

"Zafirah!"

I halted from walking and groaned as I spun around to face him.

"Tangina ka, Giorgi. Kaya unang scene pa lang sa IT, namatay ka na e." Iritable kong sabi nang maramdaman ang presensya ni Gio sa likod ko.

He only chortled, he even had the guts to put his hand on my shoulders.

"Aga-aga, badtrip ka? Di kayo nagkita ni baby Sarathiel?" Gio was smiling like an idiot.

It made me annoyed in an instant! Bukod sa pagod at iritable ako dahil kulang sa pahinga, si Sarathiel pa ang ginawang bungad sa akin!

I remove his hands on my shoulders and nudge him as hard as I can. He groaned as he followed me towards our room.

Papunta pa lang kami sa room ay inuurat na ako ni Gio. Gusto ko na lang kausapin 'yung teacher namin sa Oral Com nung first sem na palitan 'yung grades namin para lang tantanan na ako nito! Di ko naman kasalanan na mas mataas ako sa kanya ng isang puntos!

Wala pang tao sa room nang dumating kami ni Giorgi. Sa tingin ko ay may hangover pa sa bakasyon ang mga kaklase ko. Although, I saw Adren reading a book while seating on one of the desks.

Ghad, ang pogi talaga nito. His jet black hair complements his fair white skin. Everything about him screams mystery. Ang alam lang namin sa kanya ay mayaman siya at mahilig siya ngumiti.

Anak kaya 'to ng Mafia?

Matapobre kaya ang pamilya niya?

Kapag kaya nagalit 'to, bibilhin na lang niya 'yung kaaway niya?

I absentmindedly shook my head to dismiss the thought. Nope, isang malaking hard pass kay Adren.

Kaya kahit gaano 'to ka-gwapo ay hindi ko magawang landiin. Takot ko lang makita ang katawan ko na lumulutang-lutang sa ilog 'no.

"Hoy, ano 'yan? Bawal 'yan, ah?" I tilted my head to Gio's direction.

"What?" Kumunot ang noo ko kay Gio. He was looking at me as if I betrayed him.

"Teacher ang type ni Adren. Tirador 'yan ng student teacher. Di mo kaya 'yon." Seryosong sabi ni Gio.

Sinapak ko siya sa braso. "Gagio ka talaga kahit kailan!"

"Totoo nga! Wala kang pag-asa riyan. Naku, ako na nagsasabi sa'yo kay Sara-"

Sarathiel. Pakiramdam ko ay may tinik sa lalamunan ko. I didn't want to talk about him. Ilang araw ko tiniis na huwag siyang kausapin. I blocked every option for us to communicate. Siguro naman ay nakagawa na ng paraan si Clary upang landiin siya.

Bitterness crawled into my heart as my lips twitched on the thought that maybe the two of them was talking during our break. Pakiramdam ko ay traydor ako dahil nakakaramdam ako nang pangungulila sa atensyon.

Pero, bakit ko naman ito mararamdaman?

Gio was talking when I decided to cut him off before our talk about Sarathiel would escalate more.

"Gio, may sinend ba sa GC si Ms. Cynthia?" I diverted our conversation.

"Ha? Anong sinend?" he looks confused. Palagi naman 'tong mukhang walang alam.

"Format sa research? Mali kasi 'yung nagawa namin."

Isa pa sa maling nagawa namin sa research ay pinangunahan namin si Ms. Cynthia. Dapat ay hininay-hinay pala namin. Hindi maganda ang isang research paper kung minadali lang ito.

He nodded his head. "Sige, send ko na lang sa'yo ulit para di ka na mag-backread. Baka kasi natabunan na."

"Wow, ang effort. Mahal mo talaga ako 'no?" tinusok-tusok ko pa siya sa tagiliran.

He chuckled. " Mas mahal ka ni Sa-"

My smirk immediately faded. Walang pagkakataon na hindi niya binabanggit ang pangalan ni Sarathiel!

"Gio, tawag ka! May meeting daw mga class president!" may tumawag sa kanya na kaklase namin.

Thank ghad, a life saver! Hindi ko kaya kakayanin na puro Sarathiel na lamang ang lalabas sa bibig ni Gio. I wanted some peace and sleep! Kulang pa ako no'n!

"Ang aga namang gawain niyan! Pakisabi naman na kakabalik ko lang sa school, may gawain na kaagad kami? Wala man lang welcome back party, ampucha." Napakamot sa ulo si Gio.

"Class president pa more," halakhak ko. Umirap sa akin si Gio at pumunta na sa may pintuan.

Hindi ko talaga alam bakit si Gio ang binoto nilang class president. Halata kasing pinagtripan lang siya- halos lahat kasi ng nasa class officers ay matino, si Gio lang talaga hindi.

I went back to my seat when Gio needed to go outside for the errand. Kinamusta ko lamang si Bea at Melay na mukhang nabitin din sa kanilang mga bakasyon.

Habang nasa meeting si Gio. Dumating na ang homeroom teacher namin na si Ms. Lourdes, she's our ABM001 teacher which is Applied Economics.

Ms. Lourdes was just asking us about our Undas breaks. Syempre may mga kaklase ako na nag-kwento ng mga kababalaghan na nangyari sa kanila. Akala mo talaga mga nasa KMJS dahil may actions pa mag-kwento.

The door went ajar and it revealed Gio with a goofy smile on his face. Agad siyang pinahintulutan na pumasok ni Ms. Lourdes.

Pumasok na si Gio sa classroom at dumiretso kay Ms. Lourdes. May binulong siya kay Ms. Lourdes kaya naman tumango ito. Tumikhim ito upang kuhanin ang aming atensyon, all eyes went to their direction.

"Class, listen. Mr. San Pedro has something to announce," Ms. Lourdes said, to get our attention.

I grinned when I saw how Gio's face cringed at the mention of his surname.

"Lahat kayo ay hindi makakapasok sa langit- Joke lang po." Nag-peace sign si Gio kay Ms. Lourdes nang makitang kumunot ang noo nito.

"Ito na guys, seryoso na tayo. Sa susunod na linggo, Intrams na ng SHS department."

There was an uproar of cheers from my classmates. Hindi sila masaya dahil mahilig sila sa sports activities- masaya sila dahil walang klase, puro lang panonood ng mga laro na akala mo naman sports enthusiast kami.

"Ito 'yung dates para sa tryouts. Everyone is encouraged to join." He said while writing the dates on our whiteboard.

Ang ganda ng sulat niya, grabe- talo pa ang cuneiform sa sobrang gulo. Parang kailangan pang i-decipher ang meaning.

"Pres, ako na mag-sulat." Inako na ni Faye na aming secretary ang pagsusulat. Naaawa na siguro siya saaming mga kaklase niya na hindi maintindihan ang sulat ni Gio.

Sinulat ni Faye ang mga dates at nilagyan niya sa ibaba ng 'For ABM only' ibig sabihin ay ibang dates ang para sa mga STEM, HUMSS, GAS at TVL.

"By the way, per strand daw po ang magiging labanan." Gio added.

"Excited na akong mag-cheer sa crush ko from STEM!"

"Traydor ka, ABM ka!" saway ni Gio kay Melanie.

"Tol paano 'yon?! Jowa ko nasa TVL!"

"Mag-break muna kayo, balikan mo na lang pagkatapos ng Intrams." Kibit-balikat ni Gio.

Ako naman ay tulala lang. Nakaawang ang bibig dahil hindi makapaniwala.

Bakit para akong nilalaro ng tadhana? Pinapaikot nang pinapaikot ang mundo ko kay Sarathiel? I thought it was possible for us to just mind our own business since we're not from the same strands.

Paano ko iiwasan ni Sarathiel kung may mga activities kaming ganito?

"Any questions?" Gio asked and I raise my hand. Agad niya akong pinili dahil mukhang alam niyang seryoso ang itatanong ko.

"Required ba manood ng lahat ng laban?" I asked. Tumingin naman saakin si Gio, he has a playful grin on his face.

"Hmm, di naman. Pero attendance raw ang manood sa mga laban ng ABM sa iba't-ibang strand," sagot ni Gio.

My heart thudded at the thought that there was a possibility that I have to watch a game with STEM students. At dahil nga required para sa attendance, there was a possibility that Sarathiel is there too!

Fudge. Ibig sabihin kapag may laban ang ABM sa STEM kailangan namin manood. Umakyat na naman ang kaba sa dibdib ko.

I nodded as I slouched on my seat. Lumapit saakin si Bea dahil napansin ang biglang pagbago ng ihip ng hangin.

"Dora na naman ba magiging pangalan mo, Zaf?" tanong ni Bea sa tabi ko.

"Sana hindi." Ngumiwi ako.

The remaining hours of classes was focused on remembering our past lessons before we moved forward to new ones. After that, we had a meeting inside our class for the upcoming intramurals. Lahat sila ay masaya at tanging ako lamang ang mukhang binagsakan ng bato sa mukha.

"Gagawa ako ng banner! Go ABM!" Melanie said while waving her hand in the air, acting like she has a banner.

"Gawa tayo ng ribbon headbands? Anong color ba ang ABM?" Lumingon si Bea saakin.

I answered despite not being in the mood.

"Blue 'yata." May color coding kasi para mas madaling makita ang support system ng bawat strand. Red for STEM, blue for ABM, yellow for HUMSS, green for GAS, and purple for TVL.

"Gawa ka ng red," sumingit na naman sa usapan namin si Gio. Akala mo walang kaibigan sa room e, ako palagi kinukulit.

I shot up a brow. Why would I need to create a red one?

"Bakit?"

"May susuportahan ka sa STEM, 'di ba?" He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Kahit wala?"

"Ay shet, LQ sila." Umakto pang nagulat si Gio, may patakip-takip pa ng bibig.

"Kaya di ka crush ng crush mo kasi ang daldal mo e," umirap ako kay Gio.

Gio laughed. "Kasalanan ko bang lawyer ang nais niya? Ayaw niya sa CPA Lawyer na tulad ko?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Di mo sure sa CPA."

Magkakaalaman kami sa grade 12. Wala pa kasi kaming accounting ng grade 11. We'll encounter that subject when we're already on grade 12 according to our specialized subject teachers.

Pero ang balita ko ay sa ibang school mas nauna nilang kinuha ang subject na 'yon. I guess it really depends on the school.

I sighed, I wanted to have an accounting subject already. Pakiramdam ko ay sawang-sawa na ako sa mga nababasa ko lamang. I want an application too! Kaso sa kasamaang palad ay mukhang next year ko pa malalasap ito.

Pagkauwi ko ay nakita ko si Clary na nakabusangot. Nakahilata siya sa sofa at hawak-hawak ang cellphone niya.

When she saw me entering the house, she immediately run towards me as she pushed her phone on my face.

"Zafi! Sure ka bang kay Sarathiel ito? Isang beses niya lang ako nireplayan e- tapos question mark pa! After no'n, hindi na siya sumasagot!" ngumuso si Clary saakin.

"Baka walang load," I shrugged my shoulders. Binaba ko ang knapsack ko saka pumunta sa kusina para kumuha ng tubig.

She sneered at me.

"Niloloko mo lang 'yata ako, Zafi e! Ang mamahalin ng hoodie niya tapos wala siyang load?"

"Di kami masyadong close ni Sarathiel. Ibang strand 'yon," sagot ko sa kanya habang naglalagay ng tubig sa baso. As I pour water on the glass, I could see my hand trembling.

"Ano ba strand niya? Matalino ba siya, Zafi? Lalo lang ako nat-turn on sa kanya!" lumaki ang ngiti niya.

I gulped the water down, umaasang maaalis nito ang nakabarang mga salita sa aking lalamunan. I wanna tone my voice down a bit. Ayokong masaktan si Clary.

"STEM? Matalino? Palagi siyang tulog sa klase."

It was the truth though. Hindi ko naman sinisiraan si Sarathiel at sa kanya mismo nanggaling 'yon. In fact, I think I still have the recorded tape of his interview from before.

"Type ko talaga siya, Zafi!" hagikgik ni Clary.

Uminom ulit ako saglit dahil parang may nakabara na naman sa lalamunan ko. Kailan kaya ito maaalis? Then I remember someone, the root of the reason why Clary met Sarathiel. Si Alex na dapat sanang ka-date nitong si Clary.

"Paano si Alex?"

"Anong meron kay Alex?" she ask, nonchalantly.

"The guy likes you. Don't you think he might be hurt that you like his friend instead?"

That was a low blow and even I would be offended if someone use me as their bridge to form a relationship. Masakit 'yon para kay Alex.

"Well, Alex and I still talk. Pero di ko naman siya masyadong type. Sakto lang, ganun." She was typing in her phone.

"Bakit naman?"

"Masyado kasing mabait sa lahat? I want someone who's masungit but only kind to me. Sarathiel has that kind of vibe." she was giggling.

Tinamaan na talaga siya kay Sarathiel. Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya- but it felt like I was faking it.

Good for her, I guess. Sarathiel's a catch - sans checking his attitude. Pero mabait din naman siya, once in a blue moon nga lang.

After that, I decided to go to my room so I can have my rest already. It's been a rough day, I wanted to relax.

I was preparing myself to sleep, I took a hot bath and drink some milk. Pero bwisit na brain cells 'to dahil ayaw pa akong patulugin. Para silang mga tangang bumubulong saakin na tignan ko ang account ni Sarathiel sa Facebook. Ginawa ko naman. Bwisit na 'yan.

I unblocked his account and saw that I had to add him again as a friend. Mabuti na lang na mutual friend namin si Adren dahil kung hindi, di ko siya ma-add ulit.

I was biting my lower lip when I click the 'add as friend' button. I was curious on how he was doing during the time we haven't interact with each other.

I decided to check notifications and friend requests. Nakita ko ang isang pamilyar na pangalan.

Iscalade Altreano was a familiar name so I decided to click accept. Since we've become friends recently, some of his posts were on my feed.

Iscalade Altreano
Sino first time lang ma-ghost? Congratulations bro Sarathiel Aracosa Binata ka na! I'm so proud of you, dude!

What? Sarathiel was ghosted? By whom? May kalandian pala 'yung tangkay na 'yon?

I checked the comments to see if someone mentioned the girl. Para lang aware si Clary.

All I saw were comments from Sarathiel and his friends.

Sarathiel Aracosa:
Hari ka ba, Iscalade?

Iscalade Altreano:
Bakit dude?

Sarathiel Aracosa:
Kasi Kingina ka.

Wala namang mentioned na babae. Madalas ay mga babae lang din ang nagm-mention ng mga kaibigan nila na sinasabing ang swerte raw ng nang-ghost kay Sarathiel.

Matutulog na dapat talaga ako dahil maaga pa ang pasok ko. I was about to close the Facebook application when a notification came in.

Sarathiel Aracosa accepted your friend request.

For some reason instead of going to sleep feeling relaxed — I didn't even have a blink of sleep. Dahil ito sa pusong naghuhumerantado na pilit binubuksan ang aking mga mata.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ✎❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜