SATH
Kabanata 36

"Sarathiel..." Mom was looking at me while straightening my polo with her hands.

I moved backwards because I feel awkward. Hindi sa ayokong matawag na mama's boy o kung ano man, I just didn't feel like we were close enough for her to address me like this.

It was funny because she's my Mom. Under any circumstance, I should be close to her. Pero hindi naman lahat ng anak ay close sa magulang. It is as simple as that. I didn't feel any hate towards her but I know I'm not also as filial as any other child.

"Can I at least see you off to school?" she asked in a small voice. My eyebrow shot up, hindi ako agad nakasagot sa kanyang tanong.

"Nevermind..." dismayadong lumukot ang kanyang mukha. Hindi ko na lamang ito pinansin, I grab my knapsack and decided to leave before anything else happens.

I'm not a kid anymore but she still does that. Did she really want to make up for the times they neglected me?

I was opening the door of the car when my Mom hurriedly went towards me. A hopeful look on her face makes me feel guilty that I couldn't share the same sentiments with her.

"Please do tell if I can help with anything, okay?"

I nodded even though it wasn't true. I could never ask her for anything - ayokong umasang maibibigay nila. I don't want to get my hopes up for nothing, again.

They're trying and I'm grateful for it. Pero hindi talaga ako sanay. All my life up until now, all they ever do is work. Hindi ko naman sila masisisi, a child shouldn't be a reason for you to step down from your career.

I was watching a show on my phone while we were on the way to school. I was trying to divert my emotions from reacting to what happened earlier. I feel awful but indifferent at the same time. Hindi maipaliwanag ang nararamdaman para sa mga magulang.

Hinatid ako sa school ng family driver namin. I wasn't allowed to drive but Dad told me he'll let me choose my own car when I'm already on my legal age, that way he's sure I'm responsible enough for driving.

Being the good son that I am, I agreed. I never really saw them while I was growing, it made me feel I don't have a right to disagree with them.

Maaga akong nakarating sa classroom. All of them are almost familiar with each other since a groupchat was already made prior to our first day.

"Ang layo mo naman sa amin, Sarathiel." Iscalade hang his arm around my shoulder. A goofy smile plastered on his face.

"Mas malapit sa pintuan, mauuna ako sa dismissal." I clicked my tongue out. Sa totoo lang ay ayoko lang muna sa ingay. I wanted to finished the show that I was watching, I really didn't want to be bothered by anyone.

"You sure you don't want to sit with us?" tanong niya at tinuro pa ang ilan sa mga kaibigan namin na nasa iisang linya ng mga upuan. They even reserved a seat for me.

"Tunog mean boys," I smirked and nudged him. "Nah, I'm good."

I like being alone sometimes. Mas nagkakaroon ako ng oras para makapagisip-isip. It is not like I don't like their company, I just prefer not mingling with people.

Hinilig ko ang ulo ko sa upuan at tinakluban ang mukha ko ng hoodie na suot ko. I like wearing jackets and hoodie because I'm sensitive to cold.

I didn't want to be disturbed so I kept myself hidden from their sight by wearing the hood of my hoodie. Tinapos ko lamang ang natitirang episode nang marinig ko ang kaluskos ng upuan sa tabi ko.

I sense someone sat beside me. I was near the door so the person probably didn't also like cold places.

I decided to check my phone for the time. Binalik ko ito sa aking bulsa nang maramdaman ko ang titig niya sa akin.

I was dumbstruck.

She looks uptight. Masyadong malinis ang uniporme at naka-ponytail ang buhok na para bang walang makakatakas ni isang hibla sa pagkakatali nito.

Her cold exterior contrasts her nervous behavior. Kaya naman minabuti ko na kausapin siya para malaman kung bakit mukha siyang kinakabahan.

"Yes?" I asked, noticing how she was staring at me.

I didn't mean to sound arrogant. Sa katunayan nga ay hindi naman talaga malaking bagay sa akin ang itsura ko. I'm only considered as good looking because my blood is mixed.

It wasn't new to me. I did inherit the genes of my supermodel mom. Pero minsan lang may makakuha ng atensyon ko.

I don't stalk my blockmates but I'll immediately notice her if she was on our groupchat.

I was pretty sure I wouldn't be this bored if I knew someone like her will be my classmate.

She looks like someone with wits. I was weak for those type of girls. Sapiosexual pa more, dude.

"Wala. Medyo kinakabahan lang ako kasi akala ko late na ako." She said, nervously.

I had to stop myself from lifting the corner of my lips.

Cute.

Snap out of it, Sarathiel. Kakakilala mo pa lang sa kanya. I wanted to smack myself because I can't believe I said that.

"Not really, there's a few minutes before homeroom." I said, maintaining my composure.

I removed my hoodie because I was feeling hot. Tangina, Sarathiel. Kinausap ka lang akala mo naman nag-hubad na sa harap mo. Kumalma ka, gago.

"Hey, I'll share something." Lumapit pa siya sa akin na para bang close kami. Medyo nahihiya man, I also decided to enclose the remaining distance between us.

She sounded almost giddy. Para bang may natuklasan siyang bagay.

Lumingon ako sa kanya. It was a bad idea. I got a closer look of how she looks like. She has an almond shape eyes, pointy nose and full lips.

I cleared my throat.

"What?" just fucking kill me already. First day na first day pa lang, tinitest na ako ni Bathala.

"Nag-basa ako ng iilang bagay pagdating sa accounting. Just some basic things to know," she said and I tried to listen to her. Focus on her voice, Sarathiel. Makinig ka nang mabuti.

"Ang mga accounts na nasa debit ay assets, expenses at drawings. Sa credit naman ang liabilities, income at capital. Syempre depende pa rin siya sa transanction pero 'yun 'yong normal balance nila. I just wanna share it to you 'cause maybe you also have a few tips?" she enumerated.

My jaw dropped. Ilang beses pa siyang kumurap-kurap sa akin. She was expecting me to tell her something about accounting too. Tang ina? Anong alam ko roon? Hindi nga ako nag-advance study dahil galing naman ako sa special science class noon?

Teka, STEM ba 'to? Bakit para siyang ligaw na kaluluwa?

She's speaking jargons from the corporate world. I know because I have friends who are future stockholders of certain companies.

"Bakit mo ako tinuturuan ng accounting?" I ask, curiously.

She arched an eyebrow.

"Well, I just want to give you a heads up. It could help you in the future. Obviously, pag-aaralan natin 'yon."

What the hell? She's not from STEM then. Sayang.

I mocked her tone. "Want to talk about Pre Cal?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. Hindi ko mapigilan ang mapuna ang perpektong pagkurba nito. What the fuck? Lahat na lang ba ng gagawin niya ay maganda sa patingin ko?

"Why would we talk about Pre Cal? ABM naman tayo, that's for STEM." She said, oblivious that she's not in her rightful class.

"Ikaw lang ABM dito, STEM kami." I smiled, mockingly.

"What?" her forehead creased in confusion.

Ayoko man na mapahiya siya pero habang tumatagal siya rito sa aming classroom, I feel bad that she might really be late for her real class. Kaya naman sinabi ko na sa kanya ang tingin ko.

"You're in the wrong room, Miss. STEM 1 'to, you've been sitting on the wrong room for a while now."

Ilang segundo lang ay mukhang natauhan na rin siya. I can't help my face from reacting.

She stood up, her face was flushed. I can't help but look at her being shy all of the sudden.

"Hey," she called Caecelius.

"Po?"

"Anong strand 'to?"

Umiling naman ako sa sarili ko. Ayaw pang maniwala, ah? Mukha ba akong hindi mapagkakatiwalaan?

"STEM 1 po."

Her face turned into the color of tomato, cheeks almost glowing in red. Agad na hinanap niya ang gamit niya. She's probably aware of it now. I suppressed my laugh. I wasn't laughing because she's embarrassed, it just made me feel like she was acting cute. The hell, lahat na lang ng gawin niya.

"CR lang ako saglit," she said, it was obviously an excuse. Kinuha niya ang bag niya at akmang aalis na.

I waved my hands off.

"Ingat ka, baka maligaw ka ulit." I told her and I saw how she stared daggers at me.

She didn't say her name. I only know her strand. Well, it's not like we're going to see each other anymore. We have no reason to. Sayang talaga.

"Kaya pala ayaw tumabi sa amin, lalandi naman pala." Iscalade teased me. Agad naman akong umiling.

"Hindi, ah?" I denied, drinking on my soda. We were already having our breaktime. Inikot ko ang paningin ko pero hindi ko na siya mahagilap. Sa laki ng school namin, I wonder if I'll ever stumbled upon her again.

"Noted na sa first day pa lang uupo na ako sa pinakadulong upuan para instant lovelife." Tumango-tango pa si Iscalade na para ba talagang gagana itong sinabi niya.

It's been months since that happened and I never saw her again.

Hindi naman ako umasa. Pero gusto ko pa sana siyang makilala. It felt weird that I wanted to know her more. Crush ba ito? Sa unang tingin? I can't help but feel bad because I wasn't this rusty. I had a few mutual understandings before, pero hindi mauwi sa commitment dahil sa mga edad namin.

"Pwede ka raw ba maging cameraman, Sarathiel?" Czanne asked me. Tumango naman ako sa kanya.

"Thank you! Malakas talaga ako sa'yo," Czanne said. I only shrugged at her.

She was my only female friend since junior highschool. Palagi kasi kaming magkasama sa mga quizbees o kung ano mang paligsahan sa school.

Pumayag ako dahil ako lang din naman nakakaalam ng settings ng DSLR ko. We went to evergreen garden and was about to start shooting when we saw a group of students already setting a scene.

"Time natin, ah? May permit tayo..." one of my blockmates said.

May kumausap sa amin na galing sa kanila nang mapansin ang pagtitig namin sa ginagawa nila. Apparently they're from ABM 1 and they weren't aware of the permit. Sa dami siguro ng gawain ay nakaligtaan na lang din nilang gawin.

"Anong meron?"

Fuck.

There she goes, effortlessly making me look at her.

She walked towards our direction. She's so beautiful that she deserved a fucking background music as she walks her way to us. Nakakunot ang kanyang noo.

I smirked because finally I'll be able to ask for her name. We started at the wrong foot, I hope we can still be friends or more if she wants to.

Walang pilitan, kung gusto lang naman niya. Sino ba naman ako para mag-inarte?

"Zafirah, kailangan pala muna ng permit para makapag-shoot dito. Marami raw kasing gagamit ng lugar na 'to kaya nag-palagay sila ng permit para hindi magsabay-sabay at hindi masira 'yung mga halaman," the other guy explained.

Zafirah. Her name suits her strong personality. I like it.

"Hindi ba pwede na gamitin natin kahit saglit lang? Nakapag-make up na kasi si LJ at saka Heranie." She pointed at the girls who were already dressed up.

So, they already had their set up. Pupwede pa naman siguro kami mag-shoot sa susunod. Mahina akong tumikhim sa mga kasama ko. I got this, guys. Salamat sa kooperasyon niyo, ako na bahala.

"Pwede naman, you can just use our permit-" ewan ko bakit ako nagpakitang-gilas.

"Ikaw ba kausap ko? Bakit ka sumasagot?" she rose an eyebrow.

I was baffled with her sudden attitude. Kitang-kita ko ang inis sa kanyang mga mata. Anong ginawa ko sa'yo? Nagtaas ako ng kilay sa kanya.

Sungit.

"O puso mo, baka malaglag. Galit na 'yan?" wala naman akong ginawa sa kanya? Bakit ang init ng ulo?

"Ginawa ka ba ng Diyos para inisin ako?"

Hindi ako sigurado sa paratang mo pero sana ginawa ka ng Diyos para sa akin.

"Brave for you to say na ginawa ako ng Diyos para sa'yo," I told her, suppressing a smirk.

Hindi ko alam bakit parang naging ganado pa akong kausapin siya sa ganitong paraan. Her annoyance was evident on her face.

The other guy whispered something to her. Her lips parted as she shook her head furiously.

"What the hell, Gio? Mukha ba akong papatol sa kanya?" she pointed towards me.

Woah, baka kainin mo sinabi mo ah.

My blockmates laughed at her. She was being rude but I was clearly amuse by it.

"Grabe, basted na kaagad si Sarathiel! Payag ka no'n?"

"Okay lang 'yan, Sarathiel! Dami pa namang babae sa mundo na maiinis sa'yo,"

"ABM pala ang hangad ni Sarathiel kaya walang pinapansin na STEM."

She glared at me, as if I didn't deserve to be in her sight.

Easy, kinakabahan na tuloy ako. I really didn't want to piss her off. Kahit na ang cute niya mainis. I decided to act like it was all cool. Sana lang ay kagatin niya.

"Well, here's the permit. Bigay niyo na lang saamin 'yung permit niyo kapag nakakuha na kayo." Still, kahit papaano ay gusto kong maging maayos ako sa paningin niya.

"Hindi na 'tol, nakakahiya -" the other guy was cut off.

Zafirah grab the permit from my hand because she did it instantly, she accidentally pulled me too.

Our hands touch. I felt a volt of electricity when her skin touches mine. She withdraw her hand as she glared at me. Mukha siyang bulkan na sasabog sa inis. Ang pikunin naman nito.

"Permit lang po, hindi po ako kasama." I decided to tease her.

I really want to get close to her but seeing her pissed off face makes my day.

Saan na lang ako lulugar?

"Heh! Akin na nga. I-aabot na lang namin bukas 'yung permit namin. Thank you na lang!"

Halos patakbo niyang tinahak ang daanan pabalik sa kanilang ginawang shooting place. Naiwan naman akong tulala at may ngiti sa labi. Hindi ko mapigilan ang mapatingin sa kamay ko. It was a weird feeling.

Damn, Zafirah. Can't wait to see you again. I should be annoyed because everytime we meet you're always angry for some reason.

I didn't want her anger and I really didn't want to look like an annoyance to her. Pero...

I like pissing her off though because that way I know she's feeling something for me too. Even if it was hate - I'll accept it wholeheartedly.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪✎❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜