Tw: suicide attempt, hospitals,blood,big sads

I love Heather duke but she's my fan character so
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Tired. Heather Duke felt tired. She didn't want to be here anymore. No one was home, Mac was out shopping for the week's groceries, Chandler was going somewhere for god knows what and Veronica left half an hour ago to go meet up with Martha because they were still close after high school.

If she really wanted to she could. There was no one stopping her, no one to try talk her out of it. She could finally make the voices be quiet.

Ever since they got mid way through high school she started hearing voices. These voices encouraged her to throw up her food, the voices encouraged her to hurt herself and made her feel useless. She hated the voices And wanted them to stop. They'd only stop when she cut. So cut she did And the voices would stop. Then cutting occasionally wasn't enough. She had to cut more and more to make them stop till she had deep welts in her skin that would be pouring out bright red blood at an alarming rate.

Eventually Mac found out which meant Ronnie and Chandler found out. After that she wasn't allowed to be in the kitchen on her own because of the knives, no razors in the bathroom and no sharp objects in her room. She had to ask to use the scissors and someone had to watch her while she used them!

But now she was alone and that was all at least a few  years ago so it's back to how it was, with the voices too. She had to do it now, god knows when Mac's gonna get back. With a shaking hand she wrote out a letter. Her final words or so she thought.

Dear Heather, Heather and Veronica

I'm sorry for all the stress and pain I've caused you guys with all my problems but you won't need to deal with that anymore. I love you all so much and this isn't any of your guys fault. Maybe in another universe we could all be happy.

-Heather Duke

Leaving the letter on her bed, Duke went to go into the bathroom, she took out her razor. The razor has been there it helped her so much and now it would help her see her end. She took the razor and made a deep deep line god she went in really deep. Around the big one she made more smaller but still deep ones. Her whole arm was scratched up with big and small cuts seeping red blood when she head footsteps.

Oh fuck, someone was home but oh fuck Heather felt as though she'd faint any moment now.

"Heather I'm home" Mac's voice echoed around the house. She tried so hard to reply but she couldn't it was physically impossible.

"Heather? Are you home" Mac asked again. Dukes shoes were still there that meant she was home. Maybe she took a nap? Mac, being the worried girlfriend she is went to go check on Duke, just to make sure.

All the bedroom doors were opened but she still went into heathers room. There was a piece of paper left on her bed. Shaking hands, Mac unfolded it and when she read it she felt as though she would break down crying. Leaving the letter opened and thrown back on her girlfriends bed Mac ran to the bathroom. She started calling out the shorter girls name and Duke  wanted to say something so so badly to reassure Heather she was fine, but she still couldn't.

"I'm coming in now" Mac told her.

The sight Heather McNamara saw that day will always and forever haunt her. Seeing Duke looking up at her with dead eyes while crimson blood leaks out of her skin.

Finally words come out of Dukes mouth. "Let me die, please" that was the last thing Duke said before losing consciousness. Mac thought she died. Panicking she got her phone and dialled 911.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"Hi umm my girlfriend she passed out and I don't know and she cut herself before doing that and I d-don't know what to do I think she's gonna d-die!" Mac couldn't help stuttering some of her words. God why did this happen.

"Ok I need your added and the her age"

"It's **** and she's 19, please get here soon"

"Alright an ambulance is on its way, you can either stay on the line with me or if you need to you can call other people. If she wakes up know how long she was out for"

"O-ok"

And with that Mac ended the call and started calling Veronica and Chandler about the news. By the time they got there the ambulance arrived too.

"What the fuck happened" that was Chandler but Mac couldn't seem to say anything like she was trapped in a whole other world.

"Heather, are you ok?" That was Veronica.

"The ambulance, I-it's here for her that's why she's not here" and that was all they managed to get of Mac before she just sobbed she was so scared was Heather just suffering in silence?

"Let's all get in the car and drive to the hospital, do you know what hospital it is"

"Yea it's the closest one to us"

Without another word they all got into chandlers car. Was she speeding? Mac couldn't tell because she felt like she wasn't really there.

The next thing she knew they were in a waiting room in a hospital. The strong smell of disinfectant and blinding white is what snapped Mac out of her trance.

Then a female voice spoke, she was a nurse, "Are you three here to see Heather Duke?"

All three of them nodded and followed the nurse. They were taken up to a room where Duke was on a hospital bed. Her left arm was completely covered in gauze but there was still some red that stained the white gauze. "She's in here if you want to talk to her but she's sort of out of it not exactly responsive" the nurse said. They all nodded it didn't matter. Mac was relieved that Duke was just ok.

There was also another feeling, guilt. That she hadn't noticed that her girlfriend was struggling. Mac  always noticed when Duke wasn't ok even if she was just pissed or upset. She always knew. And now here she was in a hospital looking dead. Her face devoid of emotion.

Then Duke looked up at her girlfriend, "why didn't you just let me die?"

No one really knew what to say to that, they all stayed there in silence no one really knew what to do about it.

"Baby, I can't let you die I need you, your my whole world I can't live without you, the worlds better with you in it" Mac said to the green girl.

Chandler and Veronica left the room, they felt it was right so Duke and Mac could talk.

"Aren't you mad at me? That I did what I did, don't you think I'm selfish? That I just want to give up living" Duke asked, emotion was in her voice but it was sadness and worry.

"I'm not angry at you love, we aren't angry at you love, no one thinks your selfish, but I want you to know that any time wether it's day, night if we're out no matter when tell me when you feel bad, please?" Mac begged, maybe therapy would be good for the shorter girl, "why would you think it's selfish though, remeber you don't have to tell me unless you want to"

"My parents" Duke said it so quietly that if any noise was in the room the yellow girl wouldn't be able to hear her.

"Oh baby" Mac said, she bent down to give her girlfriend a hug, one she really needed. Then she heard muffled sobs as Duke was crying into her shoulder. "Shh shh let it all out, let it all out" Mac lulled to her while rubbing her back.

"'M sorry" Duke said, shifting her face out of Mac's shoulder.
"Don't be sorry" Mac told her.
"Where are Chan and Ronnie?" Duke asked," they were here not long ago"
"They left us so we could have a little talk, Heather I think you should try therapy, it would help, you could have a support system who's acctually trained in this kind of stuff so you can get professionally helped. And also maybe help your family problems, help you see it differently, you don't have to of course but it might be good"
"Ok, can we not start it till later like a few weeks please and come with me for my first session, I don't wanna go alone"
"Of course baby, I'm just glad you'd even open to the idea I thought you were gonna be more stubborn" Mac said.

Then a nurse came in, so did Chan and Ronnie.
"Heather can leave the hospital today, keep a close eye on her she could faint again because of blood loss and her bandages need to be changed once a day just to stay clean and not get infected, other than that your free to leave whenever"

-time skip to when their all back home-

They were all back hoke after the whole ordeal, Duke stayed downstairs she was just zoned out and not paying attention to anything, Veronica stayed with Duke to not leave her alone. Mac went into her room to possibly find any hidden razors or anything else she can use to cut as it's her girlfriend so she'll know all the hiding places. Chandler was taking all the razors out of the bathroom and was going to hide them somewhere.

It was just like a few years ago, no sharp objects around Duke and this time probobly for longer because of how serious this was than the last, the whole fainting and being hospitalised was something none of them want to happen again. They've been to hospitals a lot , Chandler drinking drain cleaner, the whole pep rally incident, and now Duke's relapse.

There was silence till it was broken by Heather saying something, "I'm sorry"
"What are you sorry for Heather?"
"For scaring you guys like that and re-relapsing I don't know why I did it I just did im sorry" and then Duke broke down into sobs for the umpteenth time that day. Veronica just kept on saying "shh's" to her and rubbing her back.
"Recovery isn't linear, there will be good days and bad days and relapses, your strong, don't let the relapse set you down"
Heather just hugged into Veronica more, they were all so kind and understanding. After a few minutes she stopped crying but was still hugging Veronica, she didn't want to be alone, she just wanted to be held she didn't care by who as long as it was someone she knew and trusted.

Soon Mac and Chandler came so Duke went over to Mac to cuddle with her. They all decided to put on coraline and watch it, Mac and Duke cuddling with eachother, Mac was holding her and then Chandler and Veronica snuggling up with eachother too. Duke felt way happier than she has in a long while, she hopes it stays Like that.
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Is this accurate probobly not but it's fine
Beta reader has approved🙏🙏🙏
Word count: 1925