T.W: anxiety, panic attack (almost? Beginning of one?), mention of past lost and traumatic accident, misgendering, dysphoria, mention of Captain being an ass

It's been two weeks since Peter started living with the Avengers on the weekends, and he wants to slap himself with a metal pole. He didn't think this through – he knew it wasn't going to be easy to manage his way with them while hiding his secret, but he wasn't prepared for the consequences. He overbinds and has way too many panic attacks for it to be healthy; not that he ever was in the first place. If the others seem to notice something is off in his behaviour, they don't speak up about it. However, the teen does have one or two talk with Bucky here and there – or more like, he gets scolded. At the beginning, he doesn't get why the man is so angry at him, it takes him an entire day to understand that he searched things up about transgender people to know how to be safe; and he doesn't know how to react. At first, he wants to cry, and then hide into his room forever. He can't possibly lie to the guy's face all the time. He started by brushing off his worries, assuring him that he was careful, but it only took one time when the pain was almost unbearable for his cover to be blown up. Now, he is forced to take breaks every now and then, and he is supposed not to patrol with his binder on – which he of course does anyways. He's mad, even though he knows he shouldn't be. Bucky is only taking care of him, he knows it. But how can he keep hiding his secret if he constantly has someone giving him weird looks when he caresses his ribs to south the pain?

"Peter," once again, the man's tone is disapproving, and the boy sighs deeply as he gets up to go to his room.

He isn't used to someone always being on his back. Even Aunt May gave up as the years passed, and only checks sometimes that he doesn't bind while sleeping – he did it more times than he would admit, and always regretted it in the morning.

He immediately throws himself onto his bed after closing the door, letting out a deep breath. Changing out of his binder means changing of outfit, and he really doesn't have the energy to do it right now. He only wants to crawl back under the blankets and to sleep for the rest of the day – avoiding reality seems like a pretty good option right about now. But he doesn't. Slowly, he takes off all his top layers, and puts on the hoodie that was lying next to his pillow – and it obviously is just a coincidence if it turns out to be Wade's hoodie, still full of the guy's scent.

Burying his nose in the collar of the fabric, he closes his eyes for a bit, letting himself imagine the next date he is currently planning to take Deadpool on. He still didn't ask him, but it shouldn't take too long now. He has multiple ideas at the back of his head, from a shared patrol to going into a café, and he isn't quite sure which one to start with. He knows that the other teen is strongly self-conscious about his scars – despite everything he says – so being in public probably isn't the best thing to go with, but Peter is sure that going to the café fostering stray cat would make De really, really happy. Checking his phone lazily, the boy sighs. It's still early in the afternoon, but considering the hard mission Wade had yesterday, he probably is still sleeping – texting him now would only bother him.

The teen gets up, a frown on his face. He really doesn't want to face the others right now, but he doesn't want to be rude either. So, he makes his way out of his room at an exaggerated low pace, his foot dragging on the floor. He reaches the end of the corridor in what seems forever, but Peter stops himself in his tracks when he notices an unknown face standing by Dr.Banner's side in the living room. He furrows his brows, shyly walking in and going to sit next to Bucky again. Before doing anything else, he stuffs both of his knees inside the oversized cloth as he puts his feet on the couch, wrapping his arms around himself. At that very moment, he utterly hates the man near him. He's already usually uncomfortable being with the team while having his binder on, so having to meet someone out of nowhere without it feels like hell. He gulps quietly as he can sense someone's glare on his back, and he does all he can to bottle his dysphoria in. The negative and intrusive thoughts are always here, never quite leaving him – but he's learning to keep them away now that he can't breakdown any seconds without having to find an explanation. It's hard, demanding, and tiring, but it's the least he can do to hope and pass decent moments with the others. He doesn't want to behave like an unsociable, rude, teenager. He wants to be accepted, to fit in with them – he wants to prove them that he deserves the chance they are giving him.

Shifting even closer to Bucky, ignoring the death glare that Captain sends him each time he does so, he leans his head on the guy's shoulder to keep their conversation as private as possible.

"I hate you," his voice is not louder than a whisper, but Peter knows that Mr.Barnes heard him.

A sigh answers him. "I know kiddo, but I just don't want you to get hurt. You already have been way too much in the past."

The boy shrugs, rolling his eyes. He knows it's true, but he can't help it. How is he supposed to ignore the constant feeling that someone is staring at his chest and misgendering him in their mind? How is he supposed to support the disgust that is tearing his gut apart each time he such as brushes his hand against his torso?

"Try to stop overthinking so much, Pete," Bucky's voice interrupts his thoughts as the man messes up with his hair affectionately.

The boy may have only passed two weekends here, but he sure got close to the guy with a metal arm. He knows he can rely on him he has any trouble, and it's a weird feeling – not that he can't ask his best friends, Wade, or May for help, but the fact that an adult willingly took him under his wing makes him emotional.

"Mr-Bucky..." he murmurs, forcing himself to stop being so formal with the man, "who's that?"

The boy doesn't dare showing who he is talking about, still well aware of the pair of eyes staring directly at him.

"Doctor Strange, Tony's friend I think."

The answer is simple, but it doesn't satisfy Peter – though he doesn't say it. Maybe he is being glared at because he didn't go and introduced himself, but Mr.Stark specifically told him not to worry about meeting people as he would always make the presentations. There is something odd with this situation, but he can't quite put the finger on it. He doesn't know who this man is, but his name feels awfully familiar to him – as if he knew it in the past and tried really hard to forget it.

Shrugging his shoulders, the boy shots a little smile to Bucky as a thank you and closes his eyes while putting his head on his shoulder once again. He doesn't have to see it to know that Captain is shooting him a death glare – actually Peter thinks it may just be jealousy at this point. The first few times it happened, he would always start and make a fuss, implying horrible things that were making both Bucky and the teen hiss; until Natasha stopped it. Now, Peter isn't as close to her as he is to Mr.Barnes, but he really likes her and the moment she shut down Captain America she became his hero – he was getting tired of it, but wouldn't dare say a thing. After that, it still took him some time not to be on edge whenever he would fall asleep on Bucky because of his exhaustion, but he somehow came down to it. The man never actually stopped him from doing so, but rather smiled each time he felt the boy's weight leaning on him – and he still does right now as Peter's eyes flicker, struggling to remain open.

Lazily, the teen focuses on Nat and Bucky's voice, loving the way they sound every time they speak Russian. He didn't find the courage to tell them yet, but he really does want to learn the language. For now, he only listens and smiles a little, slowly falling asleep. He still feels a glare on him, but the entirety of the sleep hours he didn't get during the week are weighting on his eyes and on his mind – he's too tired to care any longer, he'll figure it out once he'll be well-rested.

"'Night kiddo," a voice says close to him, but his mind is too foggy to answer. Instead, he shuffles a little, rubbing his cheek a Bucky's shoulder before entirely dozing off.

*

"Underoos," someone calls Peter in a soft tone while shaking shoulder lightly. "Come on Pete, you have to wake up now or you won't sleep tonight."

The thing is, the teen doesn't want to open his eyes. He feels good right where he is, his spirit still half buried in his dreams. He can't just let go of the peace surrounding him.

"Kiddo," the person starts again, "if you don't open your eyes, I'll let Clint and Sam to wake you up and you know you're not gonna like it."

In the background, the boy can hear multiple snickers, but he doesn't give it too much attention. He is awake enough now to understand what he is being told – and it makes him roll his eyes. Of course, he will not be very fond of whatever strategy the duo will use, but he can always get them back; sticking them to a wall with web fluid is an idea that has been on his mind since last week and their first prank – trying to draw on him while he was asleep, which did not work because he actually wasn't.

"No," a groan escapes his mouth as he turns his head, eyes still firmly close.

A sigh answers him. "I want to introduce you to someone Peter, please."

The pleading tone makes the boy wants to tease Tony and to ignore him even more – but the fact that he actually asked politely and called him by his name force him to forget the idea.

"I'm awake."

In front of the couch stand Mr.Stark, arms crossed on his chest. He's wearing a grey set of sweatpants with a black t-shirt, and Peter can only imagine what the man was up to in the lab during his nap. However, the annoyed look on his face stops him from asking the question – he did say he wanted the teen to meet someone after all.

"Come on kid."

Without a word, Peter stretches as he gets up, waving a little at Bucky who has a smirk glued on his face; he's obviously making fun of him. The boy rolls his eyes as he follows Tony, burying his hands into the sleeves of Wade's hoodie, and taking a breath of its scent – Wade's perfume is faint but still there, and it makes him smile fondly, not that he would ever admit it.

"I think you saw him before you went napping," the deep voice gets his attention back on the guy walking in front of him, "but I wanted to be the one introducing you two. You'll like him I think – he's a part of the genius gang if we can say so. Not quite like Bruce and I because he knows more on medicine, but still. And it could be useful for you to know his name if you ever were to get sick or hurt while you're here, as he'll probably be the one to patch you up – not that I want it to happen by the way."

"Who's he?"

At his question, Tony looks behind his shoulders to shoot him a knowing smirk. "You'll see."

The teen groans once again but still follow the lead, growing more and more self-conscious of the fact that he is not wearing his binder. He didn't catch a glimpse of the two unwanted lumps, nor did he accidentally touch them, but the fact he isn't feeling the usual tightness of the fabric says it all – he doesn't have to see it to know that he is bare chest under the sweatshirt, and that makes him more and more uncomfortable and the seconds pass.

He can usually last quite some time without his binder on, result from way too many weeks and months when he didn't have one – but right now he is going to meet someone else, someone that doesn't know him, and if they don't see him being the most masculine possible, then they'll probably misgender him. He doesn't want to relive the scene with Captain America when he arrived here, and his mental health really isn't good enough for him to feel this pain again.

Suddenly, he bumps into Tony and his head snaps up as he apologizes.

"Hey kid, stop it's okay, calm down," the man is quick to answer him, pressing Peter's shoulder with his hand.

Biting his bottom lip, the boy steps on the side a little after making a little smile to answer. Once his view isn't blocked by Mr.Stark, he can see the person he wanted to introduce him too, and it only take the teen a glimpse to gulp. In front of him stands the same man as earlier in the living room, and his glare is still focused on him – piercing, observing, judging. He feels his anxiety rise before he can do anything else, and finds himself fidgeting uncomfortably at the bottom of his hoodie, trying desperately to arrange it in such a way that it won't show what isn't supposed to be here.

Hiding his discomfort, he smiles awkwardly to both men.

"So Peter," Tony finally starts gesturing between the boy and the other man, "this is Doctor Stephen Strange and you may call him I don't know how; and Strange, this is Peter Parker, also known as Spiderman, Underoos, Spidey, Spiderling, kid, kiddo-"

"Peter?" the teen certainly isn't ready for the look of surprise he can see on Doctor Strange face, and even more for the confused and interrogative way his voice sounds.

"Yeah- erm..." he desperately tries to let words out despite the lump in his throat, "Hi that's me, it's- it's nice to meet you."

Peter chuckles in an attempt to hide his anxiety as he offers his hand to the other man. The handshake is firm, and the boy does his best not to seem weak or hesitant, but the constant staring of the guy makes him want to run. He doesn't even find the strength in him to wonder about the weird cape Doctor Strange wears.

"Nice to meet you too," the man's voice is deep and calm, but it doesn't calm the boy at all – neither does the silence after he stops talking.

It's only once he hears Tony speaking again and meets the guy's glare for the second time that it hits him. He doesn't know how he remembers that when he was sure that he had bottled up everything concerning the accident, but it flashes in his mind now. He didn't meet the guy before, but his family did have something to do with him – it appeared in every newspaper, the couple who died on their way to pick their little girl up from school but who never were able to as their car was crashed by a drunk driver. They didn't pass away on the spot, many doctors tried to save them, the main one being someone called Doctor Stephen Strange, who is by some coincidence standing in front of him, confused as to why he is meeting a boy when the parents he couldn't help had a daughter.

And that, that surprise and that knowledge of his past, it means danger to Peter.

Hi !
First of all, we hit 300 views and we are almost at 400 now and I just can't thank you enough. I know it may seem small, and insignificant, but I never imagined even getting one view or one like on this story so... thank you!
Now, how was this? I'm trying to make Peter's relationship with everyone grow a little (and introducing new characters 'cause why not?).
Also, I am really sorry if you like Captain and can't stand his behaviour in this but I never really liked him (or not as much as everyone around me I guess ?), and I needed sort of a bad guy. But don't worry ! Some massive character development will happen and he won't be a prick anymore ;)
Feel free to like and comment,

Stay safe and hydrate,
H.