My body hurled up my former protein the next morning. The next couple of mornings even. After finding Thanos in a grassland and killing him everything turned to a haunted field of stillness. Thanos told us he had destroyed the stones when we picked up it's location. The stones turned into absolutely nothing and we hadn't known till we faced the weakened foe. I'd learned there was no way to save them the instant the head of Thanos slid off from his shoulders and slammed against the ground. The air had gotten more celebrant when it found out there were less people craving its oxygen. But it whistled with wonder of where the leeches had gone.

I felt it slither in my veins even when hurling up every meal until my stomach projected blood. My throat itched as I wobbled back to bed. I was dizzy, couldn't see easily from the loss of food. I wasn't drinking enough water, I thought that maybe my powers could lend me a hand in that department. But I knew I was dehydrated when my bones met the wooden floor of my bedroom. Steve was up to his feet immediately to grasp me. He hadn't slept well knowing my condition. I knew he'd been sitting cross legged in bed while he waited for my return. It's like he predicted I wouldn't be able to march back into the sheets.

He cursed under his breath feeling my cold skin, "Izzy you're starting to look identical to Tony."

Steve caught his breath at his claim, "Don't say it. Don't say his name. And don't compare me to him."

"I know you've been blessed with food unlike him..." Steve hesitated, "But you haven't once been able to digest the food you've eaten. Haven't even tried to drink water."

"I'm not thirsty. Not at all hungry. Especially not when I'm tasting my own vomit in my lungs half the time." I weakly explained, an aggression that would resurface time to time beginning to unravel. I'd always been a bitch, I had known that plenty. The decline of food intake must have started messing with my mental state. Because all I seemed to be doing lately is cursing and barking back. And when I wasn't doing that I was silent in closed curtained rooms of the avengers headquarters. Tony has recovered but he left a while back, the rest are remaining here. Thor has taken off too but Bruce, Rhodey and Nat stay anxiously. Nebula and Rocket are going to return to the skies as will Captain Marvel. I didn't even care to learn her name. After a while the nightmares and weak body caught up to me. I was beginning to feel the air mocking me, chiming about how it won. The waters roared with new energy that I didn't relate to. The ice only wanted to claw at my skin and engulf me in safety. When it had closely come to seizing my soul I had understood my condition but didn't seem to care why. The day after Nebula and Rocket left with Captain Marvel I decided to leave too.

"You can't be serious." Rhodey crossed his arms iconically. I sensed the judgment in his voice, he began a sass I wouldn't match, "Where will you go? Steve isn't going anywhere."

"Steve and I won't be together." Nat and Bruce's mouths turned a gap at my words.

"What are you trying to say?" Steve stood tall in confusion, though he looked threatening I saw sorrows unfold in his blue eyes that I knew would haunt me too.

"We aren't working." I put simply keeping the eye contact. My blood didn't boil, my veins ran cold, and my heart felt remotely anything at all.

"So you're saying after all these years of waiting and crushing on each other you've called it quits after you finally got together." Nat's voice was shriveled, it hadn't risen since the loss. Even when she was growing offended the attitude didn't meet her voice or face. A slowly crippling women was standing astonished before me. She only looked shocked when I nodded.

"We didn't even get to talk about this!" Steve started to fluster with anger and sadness. He was right, I didn't tell him my intentions. I made this choice on my own and I wouldn't know how to make up for it.

"You should at least talk to us before you make a rash decision." Bruce advised and I just blinked.

I adjusted my suitcase that everyone glanced at with alarm once they noticed, "I'm may go to New Asgard. Maybe New York."

"Why don't you stay closer, take a break and cool down." Bruce suggested carefully.

"Thank you for everything." Was all I replied with. My selfishness crawled up me fully and the shell snapped into place. Like a thin cradle of ice grew a wall over my being inside and out and I could feel nothing remorseful. All was taken from me. My parents. My dignity. My body and mind. My family, my friend and my team. Death splattered along a trail I couldn't walk away from. Loss only lay ahead, I could easily make my own path and lock myself in a room with the blind shut tight. I dragged my belongings in a rolling suitcase quickly so no one could follow. A urgent presence thudded behind me in stomps until it caught up. The grasp around my wrist was so tight I felt the circulation almost cut.

"You can't leave me, Izzy." Steve sounded like a puppy whining for a bone, a child asking for the largest toy in the store.

"It looks like I am." I nudged at my suitcase with my foot. He didn't let go and stared into my dull eyes with passion that slightly scared my frozen heart.

"I have finally gotten the guts to tell you my true feelings. I love you more than anything. I want to share this scary world with you, try to heal with you." Steve pleaded bringing both hands to hold mine. My hands were tiny in his, the warmth held against my cold. I was breaking him, I was shattering his remaining strength he somehow could still hold.

"This world isn't a world at all." I shrugged, "It is hell."

"I can't let you go like I let Peggy go." Steve begged again, "I've gotten my chance and I won't shy away anymore. Let me be your weight, we can get through this together."

"There's nothing I can give." I felt weak as I pulled his hand to my chest. It laid delicately against my cold skin. He felt for a beat, reached for heat and grasped for the love we had confessed prior. All the replied was a gust of wind and a drizzle of rain beginning to tease. "I once could say I would do nothing to hurt you, Steve. But together doesn't remain."

"You can't do this." Steve protested with a serious tone, trying to regain his leadership, "We are family."

I pulled my hand away looking deep in those beautiful blue eyes, "Then I'll see you in our joint grave."