23 - For I Had Loved You..
It took only about half a minute to find Jungkook, as Jimin had accurately guessed that the former would be heading towards the stables to pick up their horses. Jungkook was calmly walking, as if he didn't want to draw attention to himself, so Jimin and Taehyung were able to catch-up with him soon.
All 3 of them had their lower faces covered again, which did result in a few curious head-turns but it was better than getting recognised by anyone in the palace. Jungkook was supposed to be overseas, Jimin doesn't even know what his cover story is and it'll be unwise to let Taehyung's face be shown in the palace at all.
Once they reached the stables, Jungkook paused for a few seconds to look at Gureum, the baby horse he helped birth. Its shining gray color stood amongst the other horses, as most of them were black or brown. Gureum was being kept in the separate part of the stable, along with other horses used by the royal family. He is technically not used by anyone yet, but everyone knows him to be the apple of prince Jungkook's eyes, hence the royal treatment.
Jungkook wanted to go to Gureum, maybe stroke its mane a bit, but he knew he was not allowed. Not unless he removed the cloth covering half of his face and revealed his identity. Since it's not possible, all he could do was stare longingly at the foal for a few seconds, before mounting his own horse. He rode out of the palace, closely followed by Jimin and Taehyung.
For the entirety of the ride, none of them spoke a word. Jungkook was riding as if he's going off to war, while the other two silently followed. Jimin had too many thoughts in his mind to keep him occupied and Taehyung needed all his concentration to stay on the horse without falling. He used to work at a horse stable in one of the nobleman's houses when he was a teenager hence he had some experience in riding and handling horses. Otherwise, he would surely have been on the ground within the first few seconds.
Once they were near a stream, Jungkook stopped. The horses were showing clear signs of tiredness and the men could use a break as well. Jimin took all 3 horses to the stream, letting Taehyung and Jungkook have some alone time, as he felt a discussion was due.
Taehyung watched the prince, who was gazing into the distance, before taking a step closer to him.
“Kookie?” Taehyung called tentatively, noticing immediately how Jungkook's back stiffened.
An answer was late in coming, but Taehyung was so relieved that it came nevertheless. “Yes?”
“I'm sorry.” Taehyung gulped down the lump stuck in his throat. “For everything. I didn't mean to do any harm, you know that, right?”
“You meant to hurt me to a point of heartbreak.” Jungkook turned and scoffed at Taehyung. “How do you call that ‘no harm’?”
Taehyung quickly walked toward the younger and stood next to him. “I know I did wrong. I have no excuse for that. But if you could find it in your heart, please try to understand where I was coming from. Running away from the palace like this won't solve anything. Of course you can stay with me-”
Jungkook's laughter rang through the air. “Stay with you? Whatever the hell for?!”
Taehyung blinked a few times in confusion. “But you just left the palace-”
“And you think I'll stay with you??” Jungkook laughed again. “Gods!”
There was silence for a few seconds, before it was broken by Jungkook.
“I'm never coming back to that place again! I had nothing there, except suffering and mistreatment.”
“Kookie-”
“Did you know that your mother starved me of every meal she could get away with? Or that your sister ruined my medicine pouches that I spent days making? Or how she and that friend of hers threw my wet clothes into the mud multiple times, so that I had to wash them again and go to work with damp clothes? I don't need to speak about how you treated me there, you would know that better than anyone. You couldn't have fallen asleep that fast and that hard to not hear my cries every night, right? The only person who treated me with decency was your father, and I'll forever be grateful for that. He alone helped me keep my sanity there.”
Taehyung had no answer for that, for he knew all that Jungkook said to be true. No matter his reasons, it doesn't erase the fact that he and his family made Jungkook's life a living hell.
“I've never known any suffering, Taehyung-ssi. And I'm not talking about materialistic comfort. Yes, I was a prince and had every luxury possible, but I'm talking about how I was always treated with love. And kindness. And all things good. No one ever hurt my feelings, for I have never done anything to anyone to deserve any such mistreatment. The first time I cried of real heartache, was the day I left you after you said you liked me. That too, I wasn't crying for myself. I was crying for you. Think it was my fault that you were led to such feelings. That it was my fault that now, you have to bear the weight of those feelings. And I prayed, every concise moment, for you to get over those feelings as soon as possible, so that you could be free from that burden.”
“When I saw you kneeling down in my father's courtroom, it was as if my heart stopped beating. I had no idea what I was supposed to do, only that I had to get you out of there safely. I would not let you pay for the mess I made, even if I had to trade my life for yours. And then, things went so out of hand, so quickly, I wasn't even given a chance to think.”
For the first time, Jungkook looked straight at Taehyung. The look in those eyes was so intense and filled with raw emotions, that after a few seconds, Taehyung had to look away. He couldn't face that.
Jungkook scoffed again, and Taehyung could clearly hear the disappointment in it. “Don't look away, you haven't even heard the worst part yet.”
“The worst part is that I was okay with it all. When I came to your house with you, I was ready to build my life there. With you. I was thinking of getting to know you better, for we had never really known each other. What do you like to eat, your favorite drinks? What do you do when you don't paint? Do you have any other work, maybe I can help you with those because I can't draw. I'm good with musical instruments though. I thought of playing you a song, if I had the chance. I don't know if you'd believe, but I had even picked the song. You definitely would have liked that one. I thought of sleeping and waking up next to you everyday.. How would your morning hair look? Will it be messy or be perfect like it usually is.”
Taehyung felt his eyes sting. And no matter how hard he tried to hold back his tears, some of them spilled to his cheeks. Jungkook's heartbreak was so palpable. But the prince was just getting started.
“I thought of how our.. first kiss would be. Will it be as magical as it's said in books?” Jungkook's voice broke so painfully. “How our first touch be.. will you be gentle, as you were the few times you held my hand.. or will you be rough.. either way, it wouldn't have mattered. I could take it, you know, I'm not a flower petal. I'm a man too. I'm a..”
A sound of sobbing was what made Taehyung snap his head from the ground. The prince was slightly hunched, and he had a hand pressing over his heart, as if he was in physical pain. Taehyung took a step to get closer to Jungkook but before he could, another set of arms rounded the younger prince's shoulders. Jimin had his jaws locked as he gently rocked Jungkook, while whispering soothing words into his ear.
“I got you, my prince. Hyung's here.”
Taehyung again tried to walk closer, but Jimin's glare stopped him this time.
“Stay back, if you wish to continue breathing.”
The voice was deprived of any emotion, even of anger, but the threat was very clear. Jimin absolutely meant what he said.
For a few minutes, Jungkook cried in Jimin's arms. The latter did nothing to stop it, except lightly stroking the prince's hair and back in a silent gesture of support. After a while, Jungkook stopped and lifted his head away from Jimin's chest. Jungkook's eyes were red and so was his button nose. He would have looked adorable, if not for the utter devastated look in his eyes.
He fiddled with the horse's saddle for about a minute, before turning to look at Taehyung. “Well, guess this is where we say goodbye. I could say it was a pleasure knowing you but I'd rather not be dishonest. I don't regret meeting you, for I was naively happy, even for a shorter period. You made my heart flutter, before you decided to trample it with your feet. I'll keep the happy memories, and try to forget about the unpleasant ones. For I loved you, with all my heart.”
With that, Jungkook mounted the horse. But before he could take off, Taehyung grabbed the reins and stopped him. “Where are you going?”
Jungkook gave a soft smile. “That's hardly any of your business, Taehyung-ssi.”
“Please, listen to me. You can't just take off like this. It's not safe-”
“I'm very well capable of taking care of myself, Taehyung-ssi. You don't have to worry. Think of it as the successful execution of your master plan. I'm heartbroken and back at the palace, where I truly belong. You can get on with your life, as if I was never a part of it. As if you had never met me.”
“Kookie, please-’
“Let go of the reins. You and I, we have nothing more to talk about. Let's be on our separate ways. I wish you a trouble free future.”
With that, Jungkook pulled the reins away from Taehyung's grip, before riding off. After giving an unreadable glance to Taehyung, Jimin followed the prince.
Taehyung waited till they were out of sight, and then waited some more. When he finally mounted his horse and rode home, it was past midday. When Taehyung entered the house, his mother came to welcome him.
“Oh, you're back. Where did you go so early in the morning?” Kim Hara started yapping before Taehyung could get a word in. “And Where is that pest? I told him that he needed to put the crops out to dry today but instead, he's roaming around with you. Is it so hard to help out a bit in the house to show some gratitude? I'm telling you Taehyung, that boy is so useless. We are wasting food by giving him-”
“Well, you won't have to anymore.” Taehyung said in an emotionless tone, making Hara stop her rant. “He's gone, he won't be back here.”
“He's gone?” Hara looked even more angry now. “But then who will do all the housework now?!”
“I don't know mother, who was doing it before he came here?” Taehyung chuckled. “Ask Seolhee. She does nothing but socialize with her friends for the whole day. It's high time she earned her keep here, don't you think?”
With that, Taehyung walked into his room and slammed the door closed in his mother's face.
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