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DECEMBER 8

   The next morning came far faster than Minho have liked, when he finally did fall asleep. Exhausted as he was, once he forced Jisung out of his room, he all but passed out, lying slumped against the hard concrete wall at the foot of his bed.

my life is over.

    That's what Minho thought, but in fact, it wasn't. He had to keep going. Like it didn't happen. He had to go home today, and he already agreed to carpooling with the other guys.

   What happened last night- he desperately wanted to forget it all. Remembering the scene, with him having an entire nervous breakdown, and Jisung there watching, holding his hand like he was some toddler having a meltdown, it made him shiver. He didn't think he'd be able to look Jisung in the eye for quite a while. Maybe he'd never be able to do it again.

   Lucky for him, he still had his normal weekday alarm on, and he woke at 6:30, otherwise Chan would've been very displeased to find him still dozing with his suitcase empty.

   Ignoring the aching of his body, he dragged himself off his bed and reached under his bed for his suitcase. As expected, Hyunjin's bed was empty and untouched. Most of his clothes were already gone from the closet, so he must've packed last night.

    Minho clutched his stomach suddenly, hit with the scenario his mind suddenly whipped up for his daily dose of torment: what if Hyunjin had come in last night while I—

    He gulped down the disgust and sheer horror that that thought induced, like it was a shot of bitter, burning alcohol.

   In a sleep-deprived hurry, Minho gathered up wads of clothing and bedding and shoved them into his suitcase alongside a toothbrush and toothpaste, a phone charger, and his wallet. He didn't need much else.

   He considered changing out of his pajamas, but decided against it, on account of it being way too much work to put on jeans, and because he'd just finished zipping up his suitcase, so he just tugged a warm hoodie over his head and decided that was enough. But of course, he forgot to leave his toothbrush out so he could use it before heading down for breakfast, so he had to unzip it again anyway.

   It turned out that Chan was right. With no schedule to force them out of bed, there was almost no one else in the hallways, the bathroom, even the cafeteria, as Minho walked in and scanned it for the guys.

   Their usual table was still mostly empty. It was just Jeongin there, sitting alone and scrolling on his phone. Minho waved slightly as he dragged a chair out with his foot to sit, dragging his suitcase along next to him.

   "Hi," Jeongin greeted, kindly. Was this the first time they'd actually talked?

   "Hey."

   The smell of sizzling bacon made the growling of Minho's stomach far more apparent. Breakfast was normally served later on weekends; even so, half the time Minho got it, it was almost cold, but today they were in the cafeteria even before it was ready.

   Being the two quietest of the group, not another word left either Minho or Jeongin's mouths as they waited, and the silence at the table was unbroken until a line of boys appeared— one, two, three of them shuffled sleepily to the table. Actually, one of them was getting a piggyback ride, so he was not doing any shuffling. Chan was only able to get Changbin out of bed by carrying him. Hyunjin trailed along behind them.

Changbin was dropped into the seat next to Minho. Shortly after, breakfast was ready and set out, and it seemed that the scent of it shook Changbin out of his sleepiness, because he was one of the first to get up and grab a plate.

   Jisung appeared and joined the back of the line at some point.

   At the sight of him, it felt like Minho's stomach was twisting violently into knots. He could do nothing but look at his feet as he waited in line, while once again, feelings of shame and regret and intensely disgusting embarrassment washed over him, and it was all just because he caught a glimpse of Jisung's face.

   Jisung's face. The same face he mistakenly looked up at the night before, with his pitifully red, wet eyes.

how could i have been so stupid?

   Minho's entire body was stiffened; he was gripping onto the edges of his plate as hard as he could; biting hard on his lower lip. Again, he wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and never come out. He didn't even feel like eating at that point, but he was already in line, so he swiped a chocolate-banana waffle and retreated to the table as swiftly as possible, reclaiming his seat between Jeongin and Changbin. At least there was no way Jisung could sit next to him.

    But of course, Jisung did the next worst thing, and sat directly across from him. Minho looked directly down at his waffle to keep their eyes from meeting, avoiding Jisung's gaze like the plague. Still, from the corners of his eyes, he could see the other guys giving the two of them concerned glances. Everyone felt the tension, even Chan, on the other end of the table, noisily sipping away at his coffee.

    No one but Minho and Jisung knew what happened last night after the two of them ran out of the previously dead quiet room. And it would continue to be that way.

   Seungmin arrived and placed himself on Jeongin's lap, and Jeongin certainly didn't look thrilled, as it was inhibiting his waffle-eating capabilities. Then, it finally struck most of them that someone was missing. Jisung had come down alone today.

   "Where's Felix?" Chan asked, cocking his head toward Jisung.

   "Still upstairs. I got up before him because I wanted to shower. He should be down soon."

   Minho found himself wincing at the sound of Jisung's voice.

   He tried to focus on whatever random, meaningless conversation was going on, but his mind kept melting away into the memory of last night, playing on repeat in his head. He suppressed the shivers it would have caused, had he not been fighting them.

   For fear of meeting eyes with the boy across from him, he wouldn't budge his head; he just kept it snapped down toward the waffle he was picking at, but still he could feel Jisung's intense stare, like it was boring through his skull.

   Finally, Minho was let off the hook, because Chan's 7:45 alarm went off, and he started pushing everyone to get outside and load their luggage into Seungmin's trunk. Getting that done was a bit of a mess, since Seungmin was having Hyunjin push him while he sat on top of his rolling suitcase, Jisung was complaining about having a broken wheel on his suitcase, Jeongin was struggling to keep everything from spilling out of his backpack because he apparently didn't own a suitcase— and Changbin was still fighting Chan over his insistence on leaving so early, especially when it was so nasty cold out.

   And still, after all that was over with and the trunk had hardly any space left, there was no sign of Felix. Jisung called him, as did Chan, but neither call was answered. "He probably went back to sleep," Jisung commented. "And there's no way he's gonna be out of bed in less than ten minutes if he did."

"Alright, Mr. Muscles, do your duty." Seungmin nudged Changbin, with a little, cheeky grin.

   About five minutes later, Changbin reappeared at Seungmin's car, carrying a Felix-shaped bundle in his arms. Hyunjin chuckled dryly at the sight of him, while Chan smiled fondly, and announced, "Okay, that's everybody."

   "His stuff's still upstairs," Changbin cut in, quickly.

    "I'll get it. You get him into the car." They were all too soft for Felix to mind doing all the hard work for him. "Everyone better be ready to leave before I'm back!" Chan shouted, as he began briskly walking back inside.

   Once Chan was gone, they all looked at each other silently, before Seungmin broke out with, "So, who's driving first?"

   "Not it!" came from two people: Hyunjin and Jisung.

    "I think Seungmin should drive, since it's his car," Changbin suggested.

    "That's exactly why I shouldn't have to drive! I'm offering up my beautiful car and gas out of the goodness of my heart!"

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okay, so i knowww we're only on chapter 19 but i can't wait to show y'all chapter 34 :3 haha

im in a silly little mood today so if someone in the comments can get me to laugh i'll do an early/double update  <3 and if you ask nicely i will give you details for what happened when changbin went up to get felix :]

+ while i was trying to pick a picture for this chapter (there were honestly too many good options ugh) i saw the gif of felix going "hey seungmin, please touch me! i feel so soft and fluffy!" and i just wanted to say that had that happened in this world, minho would've been absolutely losing it inside while subtly covering his ears. :')