11

•Cain•

"Ashley?"

She whips around and my heart aches. She stares at me in shock and I wonder if being here is the best for her and/or I. In fact, that's exactly the reason why I was trying to avoid her. I thought I would be able to walk home in piece because I've figured out my plan of action on how I'm going to deal with all of this at and that involves laying low for a while. My plan does not involve meeting miss starlight standing in pouring rain.

"What are you doing here?"

I ask the question as gently as I can because I saw the way she flinched and I don't want her to up and run away, even if my nerves vote other wise.

She watches me as her mouth opens before closing soon afterwards, just shaking her head and looking away. I frown and take a step closer.

"You shouldn't be put here alone. It's freezing"

She purges her lips as I face her profile, doing my best to try and understand her silence. Lightening strikes and she jumps, but it's enough to make her start talking because she turns to meet me face to face.

"I'm cold" She says, running her fingers through her long brown hair and trying to move it out of her line of vision, "and I know I shouldn't be put here in the rain, but I just thought..."

She trails off and if I could actually see properly in the rain, I would say that she was crying. I let out a sigh I didn't know I was holding before grabbing her hand and giving her a small tug. The action gives me sickening nostalgia of that night between us, but I push it away and start to walk towards my apartment, secretly thankful that she doesn't protest or question my methods.

The rain starts to race down faster and harder by the time we get to my apartment building and I guess I could same I'm lucky it wasn't this bad earlier. I hear Ash make a noise of irritation behind me, but I ignore it and grab my keys, unlocking my front door and pulling her inside.

Against my better judgment, I glance back at her and I don't exactly know what I excepted to see. She's soaked from head to toe and she's taking off her shoes and she looks like a normal person who had just been caught in the rain, but she seems...smaller. Less confident. Out of her limits of knowledge and she doesn't know how to deal with it. It's almost a frightening sight to witness.

"You can just leave your jacket on the floor," I tell her and I try not to seem so affected because when her gaze jumps up to mine, seeming more like a kicked puppy than she ever has, "I'm gonna, uh, try and find you some clothes to change into"

She nods and says a quiet thank you, rubbing her hands together as her eyes move from me and start to wonder around my sad excuse of a home. I ignore the thought that says she could make it feel more homely. Quickly, I get into my bedroom and take a deep breath, reminding myself that I'm still here and sadly, I'm not going anywhere.

It take a minute before I find myself able to move again and when I do it's because I remember that I just left her out there another and wet. I hurry over to my dresser and pull out the smallest items of clothing I could find; a part of sweatpants that I don't remember buying and a flannel that's older than I know. For second, I consider giving her one of my own shirts from my closet, but turn down the idea right when I realize how much I would enjoy that.

When I walk out, I find her leaning over my table, reading something that has captured her entire attention. Not thinking anything if it, I walk up to her and hold out her temporary fix of clothing.

She looks up at me, but doesn't say a word, making me frown and move to set the articles of clothing on the table.

"What?"

Ash gulps and I frown even more. She notices and looks away with those beautiful gray eyes of hers.

"You think I'm gorgeous?"

I go still as I feel my gut fall to my knees, now spotting the notebook in her hands. I stare and let the weight of the situation crush me, feeling the world light up in flames behind me. Her hands quickly slide over to it and close it, pushing it to me before pulling them back as though it had burned her.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have looked at your stuff, I just-," She stops and grabs the clothes I laid out for her, starting to try and escape the situation as she spoke again, "I'm really really sorry..."

I listen to her trail off and run away to the bathroom, the sound of several doors opening ringing in my ears before she finds the right one and goes in, closing the door hard enough it was borderline slamming it.

It takes a moment to process what had just happened and when I do, I feel as though the world is choking me simply because it wishes to. My hand stumbles around in the air before I catch hold of a chair, using it to keep myself up right.

I feel like death. This....this wasn't supposed to happen. Whatever plan I had has been thrown out the window. What's the point of preparing anymore? I can't be ready for anything. There's nothing I can do to stay on my toes because I only get pushed over.

It doesn't process when she comes back in clothes that fit her too comfortably for me to think she's perfect (I do anyway). It doesn't process when she looks at me in silence, a look I can't decipher because I don't know how to look at her and read what I want. It doesn't process. It doesn't process.

It doesn't process.

I know it doesn't process because if it truly had, I wouldn't have done what I did next. The situation would've played out much more differently. So much more differently.
So very much more differently.

"I'm still really sorry about the whole notebook thing," She starts, her voice barely above a whisper as she messes with a button on the flannel she's wearing that's probably two sizes too big, "I just recognized the notebook from when you write in my shop and before I even realized what I was going, I just...started reading...."

She looks down and I feel the tension in the air morph from embarrassment to guilt, making my stomach twist and turn in ways that could only be described by movie star acting and CGI.

I don't think I realized what I was doing when I grabbed her hand (it's smaller than I expected). I don't think I realized what I was doing when I pulled her into me (she is so much lighter than I expected). I don't think I realized what I was doing when my hand slide up to her cheek and I leaned in and our lips met (it was even better than I expected).

I kissed her.

I kissed her and she kissed me.

I kissed her and she kissed me and I felt like I was being swallowed by an black hole. It went on like that for a while, moving from the table, to the couch, to the floor until she pulled away, the two of us on the ground next to my shitty coffee table, silver orbs drilling into me.

"You can't leave me after this." She demanded, shaking her head as she warily watched me from below, "You can't just pretend like this isn't happening because from here on out, this relationship is starting, okay?"

I laughed and my hand found its way to her hair, running my fingers through it for a moment as I got distracted by the whole reality part of the situation before nodding and leaning down to her again, "I don't think I could allow myself to leave you."

I woke up beside her the next morning in my bed, limbs tangled in my sheets, and I don't think I've ever felt so warm in my life.

-

Have mercy on me Aphrodite
For your daughter has come down to torment the lives of mankind,
And I am but a weak soul under her spell.