We slipped out if the house while no one was looking and Ryan lead me to a pretty nice arcade not too far away for the neighborhood. It was an old arcade, but the games looked like fun, and were simple enough I knew I could play them despite not knowing what the majority of them were. "So, this is where you go to get away?" I asked, eyeing a Pac-Man game in the corner.

He grinned. "Yup. I come here all the time," he said. "Mostly after having an argument with my parents because killing a few hundred virtual zombies is actually pretty therapeutic."

I chuckled and he pulled me to the back of the arcade, up to a desk where an older guy, maybe in his early twenties was standing. The guy smiled when he saw Ryan, obviously recognizing him, and said, "Back again, huh? What happened this time?"

"Just another business related fight. Nothing different than the usual," Ryan replied, indicating that arguments, such as the one I had witnessed, happened a lot.

The guy glanced at me. "Who's this angel?" he asked.

I frowned, already beginning to dislike the man just from a single nickname. Ryan chuckled at my reaction. "Just a friend. We were hoping to get some free tokens," he said, crossing his fingers behind his back.

The man nodded and leaned on the counter slyly. "I can do that. You are a regular here so it's not a real big deal. But..." He smirked at me. "Your little miss here has to pay his fair."

I frowned at him, annoyed by yet another name. Ryan hid a small smile. "How much?" he asked.

"A kiss," the man replied.

I blanched. "Excuse me?" I asked sceptically. "Absolutely not."

The guy grinned at me. "Oh, not for me. I'm not into guys," he said. "But, Ryan, I know'll take it for me." He snickered when I blushed at the very thought, and nodded to Ryan. "So, how 'bout it?"

I snuck a glance at Ryan and saw he was a little pink himself. Maybe this arcade wasn't as cool as I thought it to be. I rolled my eyes and turned on my heel. "This is stupid. I'm leaving," I said.

Ryan shot a look at the man who quickly cleared his throat. "It can be on the cheek," he suggested. "It doesn't had to be a full on make out session."

I snorted. "Like that makes a difference."

Ryan shrugged. "Ben is pretty adamant about payment, so I guess we should go," he said, itching to provoke me.

Ben nodded. "Yup. Sorry, little miss," he told me.

I clenched my teeth. I knew they were messing with me, but my pride would not allow me to be beaten by a little kiss. Granted, a kiss would have been easier if it was anyone but Ryan, but I refused to consider kissing anyone else anyways. "Fine. Ryan," I said, struggling to speak. I looked at the gound. "Look the other way..."

Ryan stared at me like he couldn't believe I was agreeing to this before he snapped back to reality and cleared his throat. "Oh, uh, yeah..."

He turned away and my face burned as I leaned closer to him. "Don't you dare turn your head," I muttered just before taking the plunge. I took a deep breath and went in for a quick peck on the cheek, pulling away immediately and turning scarlet red. I could've sworn I heard Ryan mutter, "Oh, my gosh..." as I was retreating into my reclusive brain cage.

Ben made a small hm, looking between the two of us skeptically. "I don't know. Maybe you should try again," he said. I glared daggers at him and he laughed, please with the performance. "Alright. You did good, little miss. Both of you get free tokens all night. Have fun," he said. He gave us both a cup of tokens and we walked away to pick a game t play.

I gripped my cup tightly as Ryan coughed into his fist. "Sorry about that. Ben can be really... odd," he said.

I gave him an annoyed glance. "Yeah," I said. "I noticed."

Ryan ducked his head. Though it irked me to the ends of the earth, I wasn't about to let it ruin the night Ryan and I had planned so I let it go. It was just a kiss on the cheek after all, and those were common in some countries.

We made our way to a street racing game and each climbed onto the fake motorcycles, inserting out tokens to start up the game. Though I knew very little about video games, I was pretty good at racing on foot when I was at my last school, so I was confident. About five minutes later, I fist pumped the air in victory. "Yes!"

Ryan slouched on his motorcycle. "What even?" he groaned. "I was so close for the first hundred yards before you practically zipped by at the speed of light."

I smirked, unforgiving of my victory. "You deserved that," I said.

He scoffed. "For what?" he asked.

"For making me... pay for the tokens," I said. I didn't want to flat out say kiss, so I twisted it a little.

Ryan snorted. "I did not. You could've said no. I wouldn't have made you do it," he told me

"But you didn't protest either," I countered.

"Would you protest if you get the chance to have a kiss from your crush?" Ryan asked.

This gave me pause and I stuttered over my next excuse, causing it to be a slightly useless complaint. "Whatever," I said. "You still should have spoken up."

Ryan chuckled and my heart lurched at the beautiful sound, lurching even more when he smiled at me. "Sorry, Jacob. But I'd rather you hate me and have the small kiss, than have you hate me and get nothing at all," he said.

"I don't hate you," I said.

"Then it's a win either way," Ryan explained with a grin.

I puffed and turned back to the game. "Well, I'm going to make you regret that comment now, so get ready," I said.

"I'd like to see you try," Ryan said. He stuck his tongue out at me and threw in some more tokens to start the game up again. We played a few more rounds, me winning each one and making him regret the comment just the way I said I would, before we went in search of a new game. I had a lot of fun, and for the first time in a while, I felt happy. It was a nice feeling and I couldn't help smiling as I knew it was all because of Ryan's kindness. I was happier every time I saw him; it was just this unexplainable thing that happened. I'd see his face or hear his voice and my spirits would soar. This adventure was to help Ryan feel better, but he wasn't the only one to get something out of coming here.

After another couple hours, the midnight hour dawning on us, Ryan asked if I was ready to go. I nodded and we left the arcade, waving to the Ben as we left. It was dark outside and well past midnight when we finally reached Ryan's place. We were almost to the front door when spoke. "I better get home," I said. "I didn't call my dad so he's probably wondering where I am."

Ryan looked disappointed. "Oh..." he said. "I had hope we could hang out longer."

I frowned. "If this is about the sleepover, I totally would love to stay the night, but I don't think you're parents like me very much," I said. "So, I better just go home."

Ryan shook his head and fidgeted nervously. "It's not about the sleepover. I mean, sure, I'd love it if you'd stay, but that's not what I'm trying to ask," he said.

"Okay?" I said. "What are you trying to ask-"

"I want to go on a date," he blurted.

I stared at him, wondering if I had heard him wrong. When he didn't repeat himself, I knew I hadn't. "I thought we agreed that we'd stay friends," I said.

"Yeah, I know, but..." Ryan looked down, ashamed that he was bringing this up again. "The more time I spend with you the more I want to be with you. I was going to leave you be, but... I just can't. I don't know how long I can keep these feelings to myself..."

He was pleading with me and I felt an itch of discomfort around my throat. "Ed, I know how you feel and I like you too. I can easily say I love you," I said.

"Then why can't we be together?" Ryan asked.

"Because I'm not ready. I don't want to go through what I went through with Connor," I told him. "It's too soon."

"But I'm not Connor," he said with a frown. I could see the frustration in his eyes from arguing about this with me. "I'm not going to use you. I'm not like that. There's a big difference between me and that lowlife."

I knew that. I knew that from the second I met Ryan. He was so different and so perfect that it was plainly obvious. But I didn't know how to accept him for that, I didn't know if I wanted to accept him. It was almost too good to be true and if I did this, I felt like I'd be living a lie.

"I'm not saying you're like him," I said. "But that won't change my feelings about this."

Ryan ran a frustrated hand through his hair and looked up at the night sky where the stars were hidden behind city lights and midnight clouds. "I just want a chance..." he sighed.

"I know," I said, because I really did.

Suddenly, Ryan reached out and pulled me to him, enveloping me in a tight, warm hug. It felt like the same night that I had told him about my past and the struggles I had gone through with Connor. The difference was this time, I wasn't the one hurting. "I don't want to force you, but I'm afriad I can't hold out..." Ryan whispered.

That was my breaking point. From there, any resolve I may have had for our future together shattered into a million I felt my whole body tingle with excitement as his heat spread through me from head to toe. With my head against his chest, I leaned into him and closed my eyes. "I know, I'm sorry..." I said. As he held me, I couldn't keep my voice from shaking a little as my feelings poured out like a never-ending fountain. "I love you, Ryan. I love you so much and I don't want there to be a wall between us either."

"Then why...?" Ryan begged to know.

I felt a lump in my throat as I realized what I was going to do. This boy made me so crazy and it drove me to the brink. This tension would never last, and I knew that one day someone would snap, one of us, and we'd do something that would ruin everything we wanted to have.

*******

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