EVELYN DeMARCUS

From: Baby Eva

Mommy demands lunch with everyone. Invite kuya Third din daw kung gusto niya.

From: Russell

Should I pick you up? I'm at HQ.

From: Ruel

Ate can I borrow your Bentley? This weekend please..

From: Ruel

P.S. Hope you're OK. See you later ate!

Napailing nalang ako sa mga kapatid ko. The reason I woke up was because of the vibrations of my phone. It is times like this that I wish I was a heavy sleeper, hindi 'yung konting galaw lang ay nagigising ako.

Last night was mentally tiring for me at hindi na ako nagulat kung bakit late ako nagising. The headache I was feeling was worse than any hangover I never really had.

Tumayo ako at naisipang mag-ayos na. It's past ten and I should be ready for lunch in a bit. Medyo malayo ang byahe papunta sa family house namin.

Lumabas ako sa room at nagulat ako nang batiin ako ni Third mula sa couch. He was wearing dark blue pajamas and nothing else, may suot na eyeglasses, tapos prenteng nagbabasa ng mga papeles. I was a bit shocked. He's never here in the mornings..

"You should eat brunch," mahinahon niyang sabi.

I shook my head, still a bit surprised. "Uhm, uuwi na ako, it's fine. Mommy's inviting everyone to lunch."

Dahan-dahan siyang tumango, nakatingin parin sa'kin na para bang nanunuri. His lips were pressed together na para bang ayaw niya akong umalis, but I never say no to my mommy.

"Mom called me."

"Oh?"

Tumango-tango siya at tinapik ang tabi niya. I followed and sat beside him. Tinanggal niya ang suot niyang glasses at medyo napasimangot ako. He looked really sexy with those.

His eyes narrowed towards me. "Tuloy daw ang pagp-plano mo para sa kasal."

Oh, I thought grimly. Galit parin ba siya doon? Maybe that's why he's still here. Para tanungin ako tungkol doon.

"Yes, pero nakausap ko na sina tita at mommy. They know what to do..."

"I'm still with Jane, Evelyn," malumanay niyang sabi, na para bang ayaw niyang masaktan ako. But, really, I've accepted it already. I've accepted the facts.

I nodded at him, hindi nakatingin sakanya. "Well, actually, they're only planning the wedding. Some details aren't sure yet."

"Tulad ng...?" He was pouting.

I shrugged. "Guest list, some of the entourage, the venue of the reception, the groom, all that.."

This time, his neck reddened. "The groom? Really, Evelyn?"

"Don't worry about it, Third. I already promise you na hindi ka madadamay, hindi ba? Your mom is only helping out dahil nasimulan na nila ni mommy and I have no time to deal with the tiniest details of the wedding. Pasensya na kung tingin mo ginugulo parin kita, but I promise I'm not planning anything with you." Tinignan ko siya at bumuntong-hininga ako. "You can assure Jane that I won't be meddling anymore, as I promised. I'm also sorry about the dinner, mommy and tita didn't know about the will."

Masungit na naman ang mukha niya habang nakatingin sa'kin. Hindi siya nagsalita pero nagulat ako nang buhatin niya ako. I shrieked his name as he placed me on his lap.

"Third! You're crazy! Let me go! Ano ba!"

His arms caged me like a prisoner at kahit na anong galaw galaw ko ay hindi ako makawala. Naiipit ang legs ko kaya maman hirap na ginalaw ko ang mga 'yon. He saw me struggle and he forced my legs around his hips. Gusto ko mang magprotesta pero hindi ko na ginawa. Being so close to him always weakens me in some ways. Ngayon ko lang napagtanto na napabilang na siya sa mga taong kayang pahinain ako.

I pushed his shoulder meekly one more time. "Bitawan mo nga ko," kulang sa conviction kong sabi. Naninikip na naman kasi ang dibdib ko sa lapit niya. It was as if the universe was playing a joke on me. Na abot-kamay ko na siya, pero kahit kailan ay hindi siya magiging akin.

"Kapag umayos ka, sige."

Napairap ako at hindi na gumalaw. "There. I'm not moving! Now let me go, Third!"

Dinungaw niya ang mukha ako at napanganga nalang ako nang patakan niya ng isang mababaw na halik ang mga labi ko. He grinned when he saw my reaction. I blushed and looked away. You're not mine to kiss, Third.

"You're too strong for your own good, Evelyn. What's your weakness, hmm?"

I pouted. It's E-Vie-Lyn nga!

"You'll never know." You are. You're one of them.

"Hmm.."

Nagulat ako nang tumayo siya at muntik na akong mahulog sa sahig. His grip on my waist helped me keep my balance at nang makatayo na ako ay inis na tinulak ko siya. There was really no point in doing that!

Inayos ko ang damit ko at pormal na siyang tinignan. He was watching me with amused eyes. "I have to go. Hinihintay na ako nina mommy sa bahay."

He whistled kaya napairap ako sakanya. Ngumisi siya. "I'll just grab a jacket. Kumain ka muna tapos aalis na tayo."

"What?"

"Eva texted me. Hindi ka daw kasi nagreply."

Nainis ako sa sinabi niya. Bakit ba parang ang lapit na nila ni Eva? And what the hell is my sister thinking?! Siya mismo nagsabi na huwag na akong umasa kay Third! But she's basically playing Cupid right now!

I ate some melon while he grabbed a jacket. Gusto kong tawagan si Eva pero sa bahay nalang. Para pati sina dada at pagalitan siya. I don't know why they have to invite Third. Para bang hindi nangyari ang kagabi sa inaasta nila.

"Let's go..."

Hindi ko siya pinansin at nauna na akong lumabas ng condo niya. Nang makahabol siya at aakbayan na sana ako ay mas binilisan ko ang paglalakad. I still don't know what's up with him. Kagabi lang ay halos ibato na niya ako sa galit. If he wants to make sure na 'di magagalit si Jane sakanya, dapat nilalayuan na niya ako tulad ng gusto kong mangyari. He's too complicated!

From: Russell

The Lounges are here ate. Kasama mo ba si Third?

Kumunot ang noo ko sa text ng kapatid ko, tapos ay tinignan ko ang katabi kong masayang kumakanta-kanta.

"Your family is there? Bakit?"

Nagkibit-balikat siya pero ngumisi. "Hindi ko alam."

"Third," mariin kong tawag. Ang ayoko sa lahat ay 'yong hindi ako sinasabihan in advanced. I like to be prepared and well-informed, lalo na sa mga bagay na ganito.

"Don't worry about it," aniya at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Agad ko itong winaksi. I can't keep touching him. Mas lalo lang nanghihina lahat ng proteksyon na itinaas ko na.

Nang makarating kami sa bahay, si Kyla agad ang sumalubong sa akin. She gave me a cheery smile and a tight hug.

"Buti andito ka na, ate," aniya tapos ay bumati rin kay Third na nasa likod ko.

I smiled at Ruel's girlfriend and ignored Third's hand on my waist. "Ano ba'ng nangyayari sa loob? Why are you here?"

Napangiwi si Kyla sa tanong ko. I knew something was up! "Hindi ko alam lahat, ate. Pero..." Saglit niyang sinulyapan si Third bago tumingin ulit sa'kin. "Nalaman ni tito Inigo ang nangyari kagabi at hindi siya natutuwa. He wants nothing to do with the Lounges anymore."

"Ano?" usal ni Third sa likod ko. Natataranta siyang naglakad papasok ng bahay habang kami naman ni Kyla ay nakatingin lang sakanya.

"Ate, sigurado ka bang hindi ka mahal non? Kasi parang..."

Napailing ako, hindi na siya pinatapos. "Masyado 'yang in love doon kay Jane. Alam mo naman siguro."

Tumango si Kyla pero may kakaibang tingin parin. "Sa mga kwento ni Ruel, opo. Pero ngayon ko lang kasi siya nakita at pakiramdam ko 'di ako nagkakamali. May nararamdaman 'yan sa'yo, ate. Sigurado ako."

I frowned, not wanting to believe her. "Paano mo naman nasabi?"

This time, hinarap na ako ni Kyla at binigyan ng ngiting malumanay. "Kasi, ate, ganon din 'yung mga mata ni Ruel noong sinabi kong ayoko na sakanya."

Hindi ako nakasagot sa sinabi niya at mukhang hindi rin niya ine-expect na magkakasagot ako. Sabay kaming pumasok sa bahay at agad kong narinig ang sigaw ni dada. Sabay kaming napangiwi ni Kyla at mabilis na pumunta doon.

"You humiliated my daughter! My first born! Who do you think you are?!"

"Sir, hindi ko ho sinasadya—"

"I don't care!" galit na galit na sigaw ni dada. "There will be no more anything between your family and mine! I forbid it!"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Third sa sinabi ni dada. What? Why? Hindi ba dapat ay matuwa siya sa narinig? Bakit parang... may takot sakanya?

"Sir—"

"Inigo, maybe we can talk about this," kalmadong sambit ni tita Candice na nakakapit sa bunso nilang kapatid na si Erol. "I'm sure p'wede pa itong ayusin. Right, Samantha?"

Mommy faced dada tapos ay tinaasan niya ito ng kilay. Nakita ko kung paano sinubukan ni dada na salubungin ng matagal ang tingin ni mommy, pero ilang segundo lang din ay bagsak-balikat niyang tinignan si tita Candice.

"Fine. I will only bless the wedding if my daughter agrees," ngisi niyang sabi, proud sa sinabi. Bago pa makaapila si mommy ay naunahan na ni dada. "That's final. No more."

"Mag-uusap tayo mamaya," rinig kong bulong ni mommy sakanya.

I was still confused with what's happening. Ako? Papayag? But isn't it agreed upon na hindi na tuloy ang kasal?

Eva walked towards me and kissed my cheek. My innocent looking sister was hiding her mischievousness again! Kinurot ko ang tagiliran niya at ngumuso lang siya, alam na alam ang ginawa niya na kinainisan ko.

"Kukurutin ko 'yang singit mo ha," pambabanta ko sakanya.

Eva only laughed at me. "Si ate naman! Kampi kaya tayo."

"Makulit kang bata ka talaga."

Humagikhik lang si Eva pero agad napatikom ang bibig. Lilingunin ko na sana ang dahilan pero nang maamoy ko ang pamilyar niyang amoy ay 'di ko na tinuloy. I looked down when both his hands went on my sides. Mahina din akong napasinghap nang maramdaman ang mainit niyang dibdib sa likuran ko mismo.

Damn it, Third! Bakit mo ba ako pinapahirapan?

"We need to talk, Evelyn..." bulong niya sa'king tenga.

"Mamaya na 'yan, kuya! Ate Evie needs to check the food!"

Naramdaman ko ang pag-nguso ni Third dahil nakalapat ang mga labi niya sa leeg ko. Nailang ako dahil nasa harapan ko mismo si Eva pero mukhang nagustuhan 'yon ng kapatid ko. Pinanlakihan ko siya ng mata pero umakto pa siyang kinikilig.

Pero bigla ay may kalokohan na naman sa mga mata niya.

"Ay! Hindi na pala dapat ako kinikilig." Inosenteng pinagtagpo ni Eva ang mga daliri niya. Pinakurap pa ang mga mata. "Hindi na pala kayo ikakasal! Oops!"

Naramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng hawak ni Third sa'kin. Tiningala ko siya at nakitang nasimangot siya kay Eva. I looked at my baby sister and saw her tilting her head to the side, nang-iinis ang ngisi.

"That's rude, Eva," sabi ko nalang pero imbes na humingi ng tawad ay tinaas lang ang dalawang kamay. "We might not get married anymore—"

"Whoa, whoa, Evelyn!"

I glanced at Third shortly. "—pero mas matanda parin siya. Don't treat him like one of your brothers."

Imbes na ma-guilty, parang mas lalo pang natuwa si Eva sa sinabi ko. But the little miss was not even looking at me. Parang pinapanood niya lang ang mga reaksyon ni Third.

Sighing, I pulled away from Third's possessive hands and stepped beside my sister. Kita ko parin ang inis sa mga mata ni Third pero hindi ko pinansin. What for? All I said was the truth. Hindi p'wedeng ma-attach ang pamilya ko sakanya. He is not mine to keep.

His lips became a straight line while his jaw tensed. Gusto kong huminga ng malalim. Goodness! Why does he look so handsome when angry? Kaya minsan ay mas gusto ko pa siyang inisin kesa lambingin! A hot-headed Third is a handsome one!

"We are getting married, Evelyn. You are mine to marry."

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. It didn't process in my mind instantly. What did he mean? Inaangkin niya ako? He wants to marry me now—now that I've accepted the fact that he was never to be mine in this lifetime? Eh, gago pala 'to e!

"No!" nag-init ang ulo ko sa sinabi niya. How dare he! Does he not know I killed my own pride and ego just to let him go? Tapos ganito! Ganito?!

The jerk had the fucking audacity to smirk at me! Shit ka!

"You said so yourself. Ikakasal tayo. You've been waiting for my willingness to get hitched? Then, fine, you have it!"

"Well, isaksak mo sa baga mo dahil ayoko na!"

"Ate... papakipot ka?" bulong sa'kin ni Eva.

I whipped my head to her. "What?! Eva! Get out of here!"

Ngumuso siya. "Nubayan, ate. I just asked naman."

Padabog siyang napapadyak but she left the living room while skipping like a child. I just watched my little sister's craziness in horror. What the heck! Ano pinapakain ni Kyla doon?!

"I'll fix everything, Evelyn—"

I raised a hand to stop him. "No! The fuck, Third! Kakaayos lang ng lahat. It's no longer complicated, yet here you are making things worse again! Ano ba? Hindi ka ba nadala kahapon? Kagabi?! You got mad at me dahil sa ginawa ko pero ikaw ngayon 'tong gumagawa ng ikakasakit ni Jane!"

At the mention of his beloved, he firmly closed his eyes. Dahil doon, nawalan ako ng lakas. Whatever he says, whatever I do, whatever happens, I cannot deny or change the fact that he truly loves her. A love that he can never give to me. A love I can never be worthy of from him.

Tangina! I have everything I need in life and things I don't even need or want. But the one thing that I do, I begged for, I worked hard for, pero hindi ko parin makuha ang puso niya.

Fuck this!

"Umalis ka na, Third," pagod kong sabi. I didn't even have the energy to put emotions in my words anymore. I was just too numb. Pumikit ako ng mariin. "Let's not hurt her again."

"Hindi p'wede, Evelyn."

I felt tears in my eyes when I opened them. One, because I felt him near me. Two, because he finally said my name right. After so long, he finally said it right.

Umiling-iling ako. My chest felt like it was being squeezed by an iron hand. 'Yung parang sobrang naninikip na ang dibdib ko dahil sa pagpipigil ng hagulgol. Why can't I just be free of this? Of him?

"We can't, Third... si Jane..."

His warm hands cupped my cheeks. His thumbs wiped away my tears and I let out a shaky breath. Siya na nangwasak, siya din na bubuo. Putangina, I needed him in my life.

"I'll deal with Jane, Evelyn. Let me deal with her. H-hindi ko kayang mawala ka sa'kin. I can't lose you now that I've realized how much I need you..."

Jane's hurt face came to mind at pilit akong umiiwas. No, I can't give her another heartache. Hindi na makakaya ng konsensya ko. I can't break her innocent heart!

"Bitaw, Third, please..." pagmamakaawa ko at pilit na tinutulak palayo ang mga kamay niya.

He kept on holding on to me, forcing me to his chest and entrapping me in his arms. Mas lalo kong naramdaman ang paninikip ng dibdib ko. Pakiramdam ko hindi ako makahinga sa sobrang hapdi. I didn't know love can cause such physical pain. I never knew pain like this before..

"My Evelyn... I can't let you go..."

I shook my head against his chest. This time, I sobbed. "And I can't live with myself kung sasaktan ko ulit siya, Third! H-hindi ko kaya! She d-doesn't deserve this cruelty!"

"Kakausapin ko siya, I promise," he said in such a calm way. But underneath it, I can sense him panicking. Naririnig ko ang pamimilis ng tibok ng puso niya. He was as desperate as I was. To keep us together, but to avoid causing another broken heart.

Pero hindi 'yon posible... We will hurt Jane either way!

"Third, please... She—she deserves y-you more than I do!"

He placed his lips against my forehead, inaalo ako sa bawat hikbi na lumalabas sa mga labi ko. I hate that he was calming me down. I hate that everything was wrong in the world but being in his arms made it all okay! Paano 'yon? How can I be at peace when the world was in chaos?

"And I can never deserve her, Evelyn," mahinahon niyang sabi nang humina na ang paghikbi ko. I felt something wet on my forehead and looked up to see my handsome man crying. Pumikit siya at tinago 'yon. "I can never deserve her because I can never love her the way she loves me..."

"But, Third, mahal mo siya... You can't say it isn't true!"

"Mahal ko siya, pero kailanman ay hindi ko siya kayang mahalin tulad ng pagmamahal ko sa'yo," he whispered.

I closed my eyes and dwelled on the pure joy in my heart. I was a bitch. To be in paradise when someone will be in agony. I can't... I just... can't.

"Evie, mahal kita," he said against my skin. "Mahal na mahal kita. Aayusin natin 'to, pangako."

This time, I did push him away.

"Sometimes... love isn't enough t-to hurt someone."