EVELYN DeMARCUS

I decided to eat with Eva, Ruel, and Russell for dinner. Lahat daw kasi sila ay pupunta sa isang restaurant na malapit sa opisina. I agreed because I had nothing better to do for the rest of the day. Eva was excited dahil may sasabihin daw siya.

Russell was there first and he immediately gave me a hug. Like a gentleman, he pulled out a chair for me tapos ay tinabihan niya agad ako. I think out of all of us, si Russell talaga ang pinaka-clingy. Tuwing may kasama siya sa'min, kailangan nakadikit siya. Madalas kay mommy siya nakadikit, pero kahit kay Ruel ay 'di siya takot na umakbay at yumakap. Minsan inaasar pa niya si Ruel gamit ng pabirong halik.

"No hangover?" impressed na tanong niya sa'kin.

Umiling ako sakanya at napangiti. "Just a long nap."

Tumango siya tapos ay sumeryoso. "Tumawag daw si Third kay Eva kagabi, nag-aalala daw." Umiwas ako ng tingin at kunwari ay hindi apektado. "Tell me, ate, is he finally agreeing to the wedding?"

Mahirap man, pero hindi ako agad sumagot. "No, Rus... Walang ganon. He was only concerned as a friend."

"Ate, hindi ka pinalaki nina dad para maging mahina."

I don't know why, pero imbes na ma-offend ako, parang mas tinamaan pa ako ng isang truck. He was right, of course. I was the first born of Inigo and Samantha DeMarcus. Walang dahilan para gawin ko 'to.. The presidency is not even a legitimate reason to lose my pride.

I looked at Russell and knew that despite of what others thought, maayos niyang magagawa ang mga responsibilidad ng kumpanya. He was an intelligent young man and was raised and taught by Inigo DeMarcus himself. Kakayanin niya kung sakali...

"I know that look, ate, and no. You were born for that position. Walang ibang p'wedeng umupo doon maliban sa'yo." His voice held a sure conviction.

Malumanay akong ngumiti. "We'll see, Russell.."

Eva and Ruel arrived at the same time. Agad kong napansin ang isang pamilyar na folder na hawak-hawak ni Eva pero hindi ko na muna siya tinanong. I'm sure this was what she was so excited about.

"Ahh, the drunkard is here," asar naman ni Ruel sa'kin ng nakangisi. He looked like a grinning devil with his look.

I rolled my eyes. "Everyone's a drunkard compared to you, Ruel. Kaya huwag ka."

"She's right," mabilis na singit ni Eva. "You don't even drink enough water, kuya. Which is really unhealthy!"

Ruel sighed in dismay. "I already drink two gallons a day, Eva. Hindi pa ba sapat 'yon?"

Sunod-sunod na umiling si Eva, akala mo matatanggal na ang ulo niya. "You have to make up for all the years na kulang ang iniinom mo, kuya."

"Doesn't work like that, sweetie," dagdag naman ni Russell.

Eva shrugged. "If it forces kuya Ruel to drink water, then it works."

"Ugh. Oo na, two gallons a day. Jeez, Eva. Can you be dumb sometimes, please?" pagbibiro naman ni Ruel.

I laughed at their antics and motioned for the waiter. We ordered our food and suddenly Eva took center stage. Nilapag niya sa mesa ang folder tapos ay binuklat ito. I don't know why it seems so familiar...

"Eva, darling, no more work please," hingi ni Russell na minasahe na ang noo. Parang disappointed na work-related ang pag-uusapan namin.

But then Eva vigorously shook her head. "Pamilyar po ba 'to sainyo?"

Ruel frowned and looked at it. "Lolo's last will? Bakit nasa'yo 'yan, Eva?"

"I visited ate Evie and saw it. I made a copy and tried to dissect it the best way I can..." Tumingin siya sa'kin at hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla akong kinabahan. I'm sure she found out a few things about my need to marry Third. Hindi ko nalang alam kung kailangan ko pa bang malaman ito.

"In-analyze mo 'yan? Mas magulo pa 'yan sa kahit na ano'ng kontrata na nakita ko." Bumuntong-hininga si Russell tapos ay napailing. "Why did I ask? Of course you would be the one to understand it. You had the same mind as lolo Adan."

Hindi 'yon sinagot ni Eva. She read a passage from the will: "To the issue of DeMarcus Group of Companies' presidency, it shall be determined by eligibility and ability to perform the duties well. To be eligible, any of my heirs must be of age—by this I shall allow the maturity of a twenty-three year old, as approved by my sole son, Inigo DeMarcus."

"Babasahin mo ba ang buong kontrata?" tanong ni Ruel.

Eva frowned. "Kuya, the first step to understanding a will or contract is by reading it."

"Buuuuurn," pang-aasar ni Russell pero sumimangot lang si Ruel.

Eva continued. I was trying to familiarize myself with the last will, too. "Secondly, eligible heir or heiress must be lawfully married with a respectable spouse; the likes of Alexander III Lounge and Perrie Chua."

"Wait... 'the likes'? Ibig sabihin..." Russell faltered.

I swallowed. "It doesn't have to be them..."

"There's more," dagdag ni Eva. Tumikhim siya bago nagpatuloy. "The eligibility clause of my last will, pertaining to the age requirement and the necessary marital status, cannot be voided by any means, by any other authority; in the event of a conflict, one that cannot be settled by the DeMarcus Group of Trustees, the presidency will be settled by succession of birth."

"What..."

Galit si Ruel nang magsalita siya. "Buti nalang patay na ang dating lawyer ni lolo, kung hindi ako mismo ang sasakal don!"

Russell shook his head. "All this time, ate didn't have to marry Third? Only 'the likes' of him, ganon ba?"

My baby sister nodded with a sad smile. "Yes, actually. Na-misinterpret siguro ni attorney Lucas noon. But lolo's last will was too clear to misinterpret. Ate, just marry anyone with the same credibilities as kuya Third. Agad mong makukuha ang presidency. Even if kuya Russell challenges you—"

"—which I won't do," mariin na sabi ni Russell.

"—it's still yours dahil ang batayan na after non ay kung sino ang panganay. Lolo knew how much you loved DMC, kaya sigurado akong sinadya niyang idagdag ang clause na 'yon."

Nasapo ko ang noo ko. "After all this time..."

Eva was still frowning. "Actually, hindi ko alam kung paano hindi nakuha ni attorney Lucas 'yon. I guess it's also partly our fault for relying on the old man for it. Siguro kung isa sa'tin ang nagbasa noon pa..." She didn't continue that sentence. Madami na sana ang naiwasan, ang hindi nasaktan. "The thing is, the final clause clearly states na kailangan mo lang na maging age-appropriate, at kailangan mo lang ikasal sa isa ring business-affiliated man, someone like kuya Third."

I bitterly laughed and remembered all the times I tried to make Third marry me. 'Yun pala, hindi ko kailangang gawin. Marrying him was never a requirement by lolo, it was more of a recommendation than anything else.

Shit. Ibig sabihin, nasaktan ko si Jane kahit hindi naman pala kailangan.. I put her and her family through hell when it was completely unnecessary to do so.

I can't even begin to imagine how I will apologize for this. I bothered her relationship with Third for more than a year.

And Third... Oh my, God.

Napatakip ako ng mukha nang masyado akong na-overwhelm sa mga nangyayari. Russell immediately pulled me to him at hinayaan ko ang sarili kong mahila. But I did not cry. I can endure all things, but crying to show my weakness in public sill never be an option.

"Ate... I'm sorry..."

Umiling ako. "What do you mean, Eva? Niligtas mo ako."

We ate in relative silence in the beginning, pero naglaon ay napuno ng tawanan ang table namin. I felt like utter crap, but my siblings made it their mission to make me smile tonight. Naipagpaliban ko ang lungkot at pagsisisi na nararamdaman ko dahil sakanila. Pero nang makauwi na ako sa condominium ko ay parang bumalik lahat 'yon.

When I laid on my bed, doon ko na realize na ito ang unang beses sa pitong buwan na nakalipas na mag-isa akong matutulog. I've always had Third's arms around me, at tuwing Sunday naman ay si Eva ang katabi kong matulog.

I suddenly realized how lonely I was in some aspects of my life. Dapat pala talaga, pumayag ako sa kagustuhan nina Eva na doon na muna ako magpalipas ng gabi sakanila.

Sitting up, I looked around my room. It felt so... unfamiliar.

Namiss ko tuloy 'yung pink kong body pillow sa kama ni Third. I never really used it dahil siya ang mas niyayakap ko, but it was one of the many personal things I brought to his condominium. All my pink stuff were obvious amidst the neutral colors of his place.

Napatingin ako sa nightstand ko nang tumunog ang phone ko. It was Third's ringtone kaya medyo nagulat ako. By the time I reached it, natapos na ang tawag pero sakto naman na nag-message siya.

From: Third

It's 8PM. Asan ka na?

From: Third

Did you read my note? I said be home early.

Hindi ko alam pero nanikip talaga ang dibdib ko. His place definitely felt more like home than my own. I guess they were right... home is where the heart is.

To: Third

I'm home :)

From: Third

Are you in the guest room? Halika na. Tulog na tayo.

I couldn't help it anymore. Basta-basta nalang naglabasan ang sama ng loob ko at mabilis na nagunahan ang mga luha ko. My heart just felt too tight. I never knew physical pain could be this much. Parang sasabog na ang puso ko sa sobrang sakit at sikip ng dibdib ko.

Another text came in.

From: Third

Wala ka naman. Where are you? Kina Eva?

Dahil nanginginig ang mga daliri ko, hindi ako makareply. So I wasn't too shocked when my phone rang. Tinitigan ko muna ng ilang sandali 'yon bago huminga ng malalim.

"Hello?"

"Evelyn. Sabi mo andito ka na." Nahimigan ko ang pagtitimpi sa boses niya. Tiyak ay tiim na tiim na naman ang mga labi niya.

Tumikhim ako para hindi pumiyok ang boses. "Uh, actually, wala akong sinabing diyan ako.... nakauwi..."

Hindi siya sumagot sa kabilang linya pero narinig ko ang paggalaw niya. Kinagat ko ang labi ko, hinihintay na sabihin niyang 'buti naman' pero walang ganon.

"Nakina Eva ka?"

"No... I'm at my condo, actually. You get a break from me," subok ko sa pagbibiro. But it felt too forced. "I mean... I had dinner with my siblings. Mas malapit na rin kasi dito at out of way pa kung magpapahatid ako diyan." Which is a total lie. He lives twenty minutes away from me, including traffic; ten minutes without.

He still didn't respond, pero alam kong may ginagawa siya. I could hear him moving around.

"Hey, Third? I'll... go to sleep na. Mag-usap nalang tayo bu... next time, yeah?"

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Ha?" It was too late, the line was dead. I pressed my hand to my chest when I felt its abnormal beating. Para bang hindi ko alam ang mararamdaman ngayon na papunta na siya dito. I feel like seeing him after finding out I've been wrong so long will only push me to the edge of guilt. Baka mamaya mag-breakdown pa ako sa harap niya..

When the doorbell rang a few minutes later, handa na akong pauwiin siya. Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo sa couch at pinagbuksan siya ng pinto. Third was standing before me, in plaid pajamas and a white shirt. Nakapamulsa ang mga kamay niya at walang ngiti niya akong tinignan.

"Hindi mo naman kailangang pumunta rito, Third," mahinang sambit ko, sapat lang para marinig niya.

Umiling siya at pinatagilid ang ulo. "Let's go. Gabi na at oras na ng pahinga."

I nibbled my lower lip. Paano ko ba sasabihin sakanya na ganito na simula ngayon? That I will no longer go to him every night? That I no longer had to marry him? Sa sobrang tagal ko siyang niligawan at kinulit, tiyak ay magugulat siya sa biglaang pagbabago ng isip ko.

He sighed, tired and restless. "Tara na, Evelyn. It's too late to just stand around."

It's E-Vie-Lyn, Third... Not Ev-Lyn...

"Kukuha lang ako ng jacket," sabi ko at iniwan na muna siya doon. Nang lumabas ako, nakahilig na siya sa pinto kaya nagdalawang-isip ako. "Kung gusto mo, dito ka nalang muna. Malinis naman 'yung guest room ko."

Tinitigan niya ako na para bang nanunuri bago hinila palapit sakanya. Hinaplos niya ang noo ko. "Masakit parin ba ang ulo mo?"

Umiling ako, nagtataka sakanya. "H-hindi naman ako tinatablan ng hangover."

Mapait siyang napangiti. "Kaya pala ang lakas ng loob mong maglasing kagabi."

Tumikhim ako at umiwas ng tingin sakanya. "Hindi naman madalas... Iba lang 'yung kahapon."

Parang alam din niya kung ano ang ibig kong sabihin. Gusto ko sanang sabihin na hindi niya kailangang maguilty, pero nagulat ako nang dumampi ang labi niya sa mga labi ko. Sinundan niya 'yon ng isa pang mababaw na halik bago hinaplos ang leeg ko. Nag-iinit na ang gilid ng mga mata ko, pero pinigilan ko ang pag-iyak. I will not cry in front of him.

"Hindi na 'yon mauulit," sabi niya. Alam kong 'yung paglalasing ko ang tinutukoy niya, pero parang may iba din siyang gustong iparating.

Pilit na ngumiti ako. "Hindi na, siyempre.. Magagalit 'yung mapapangasawa..." I coughed awkwardly.

Isang ngiti ang sumilay sa labi niya. "You're right. Magagalit siya." Hinalikan niyang muli ang noo ko bago tumayo ng maayos. "Let's go home, Evelyn. It's late."

I locked my condo before we left. Dala-dala ko lang ang cellphone ko at wala na dahil may mga damit naman ako doon. Maybe I can even take all my stuff with me tomorrow. Nakakahiya naman kung iiwan ko pa doon.

Third was tightly holding my hand habang nagmamaneho siya. Sampung minuto lang maman ang byahe dahil walang traffic at medyo mabilis ang takbo niya. I was surprised by his affectionate aura. Maski sa elevator ay pinatayo niya ako sa harap niya, nakakulong sa mga bisig niya habang gigil niyang inaamoy-amoy ang leeg ko.

Pagpasok sa condo niya, walang salitang sumunod ako sakanya papunta sa kwarto niya. He laid down first at tumingin lang ako sakanya. It seems unfair and sinister of me to lay beside him, lalo na't alam kong hindi na kailangan. But then I promised myself this would be the last time I invade his home like this. Just one more night of him holding me tight..

"You wanna borrow my shirt?" he whispered against my ear.

Umiling ako at sumiksik lamang sakanya. "I'm good, thank you."

"Hmm... okay."

I bit my lip in apprehension. "Third?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you..." Pumikit ako ng mariin. My tears can't fall.

"For what?"

Sunod-sunod akong umiling, nakasiksik parin sa leeg niya. "Sa lahat... and I'm really sorry."

Tinulak niya ako para makita ang mukha ko. I locked gazes with him at hindi ko na napigilan ang mapaiyak. He wiped a tear away with an amazed look. Unang beses kasi akong nakitang umiyak. He tenderly wiped each tear away and I felt more crappy than ever. He didn't deserve the shit I put him through. He and Jane never did...

"Ba't ka umiiyak, Evelyn?" Even his voice was tender and soft.

Suminghot ako sa gitna ng iyak. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.. I promise, hihingi rin ako ng tawad kay Jane. K-kung kailangan kong lumuhod, gagawin ko.. I'm really sorry, Third. I'm so sorry!"

Kumunot ang noo niya at kung hindi ako nagkakamali ay parang kinakabahan siya. Hindi mapakali ang mga mata niya habang tinitignan ako.

"Ano ba'ng sinasabi mo, Evelyn? I-itulog nalang natin..."

I shook my head and forced the words out. "I'm so sorry I hurt you and your relationship, Third.. Hindi na ulit, pangako. I promise I won't bother you anymore. I promise! I'm just... I'm just really really sorry.."

"E-evelyn, puyat lang 'yan, matulog na tayo..."

"No, I-I'm serious. It's not a trick, Third." Kahit hindi na klaro ang paningin ko, sinalubong ko parin ang tingin niya. "I won't force you to marry me anymore, I promise. Hindi na kailangan and, and—God, I'm just so sorry for what I did to you and Jane... Third, I'm so sorry.."

Bigla ay sumeryoso ang tingin niya sa'kin. "What do you mean? You need to marry me to get your company."

Kasabay ng pag-iling ko ay ang pag-bagsak ng mukha niya. "I c-can marry anyone... my lolo just recommended that it'd be you. P-pero nalaman namin kanina, when Eva read it out loud, na hindi pala... I'm so sorry, Third, for everything.."

Kita ko ang galit sa mga mata niya pero wala siyang sinabi tungkol doon. He only asked me to sleep. When I insisted na sa kabilang kwarto nalang ako, mas lalo lang dumilim ang ekspresyon niya. I tried to explain it to him again, na hindi ko na siya kailangang guluhin, pero mas nainis lang ata.

"I'll read the copy tomorrow. Ngayon, matulog na tayo."

"But, love..." Shit. Damn it, Evelyn!

Nanlambot ang mga mata niya sa sinabi ko. His lips pressed against mine for a few seconds bago siya humiwalay. He was just too tender to me. Kaya mas lalong nahuhulog ang loob ko sakanya.

"Sleep, my Evelyn." bulong niya at halos maiyak ulit ako sa pang-aangkin niya sa'kin. Even his eyes demanded possession of me. But for what? Posible kayang...

No, he was too in love with Jane..

"Goodnight, Third..."

Naramdaman ko naman ngayon sa noo ko ang mga labi niya. "You're home."

The next morning, Third was still here. Nagulat ako dahil madalas ay una siyang umaalis kesa sa'kin. When I stood there just staring at him, tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. I nervously sat beside him. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang ia-akto niya hatid ng nalaman kagabi. He must be really pissed that he endured my bothersome antics for no reason at all. Kung p'wede naman palang ibang tao nalang ang ginulo ko.

"I texted Eva to send me a copy of the will," saad niya matapos niya akong batiin ng isang halik.

Gulat parin sa ginawa niya ay hindi ko agad nakuha ang sinabi niya. "Si Eva? You have her number?"

"Tinawagan mo siya minsan gamit ang phone ko."

I frowned. "And you saved it?"

"Yes," aniya at ginawaran ako ng isang nanghahamon na tingin. "May problema ba doon?"

Mabilis akong umiling. "Wala naman.. Nagulat lang."

Pinaningkitan niya ako mg mata pero hindi na nagkomento pa doon. He merely let me eat habang siya ay salita ng salita tungkol sa opisina. Nagugulat ako dahil madalas ay tahimik lang siya, minsan nga ay iniiwan pa ako kapag masyadong madaldal. So to hear him speak so unfiltered is new to me..

Maybe now that I'm not trapping him into marriage, he'll be nicer to me??

Nang matapos kami, it was almost seven in the morning. I quickly got up to get ready. Kailangan kong maagang pumunta sa opisina. I need to make up for the crap I missed yesterday. Mabilis akong naligo at nag-ayos sa bathroom. Doon ko naalala na hindi pala na-plantsa ang mga damit ko!

I groaned and wrapped my body in my bathrobe. Binuksan ko ang closet na ginagamit ko at halos matigilan ako nang makitang naibalik lahat ng damit ko sa mga hangers. Each one of them were pressed and neatly arranged.

Napakagat ako ng labi. For sure, he saw my packed luggages. Why did he let someone unpack them? Ayaw niya ba akong... umalis?

"Use the ones on the right. Malamig ngayon dahil uulan," rinig kong sabi niya mula sa likod ko pero hindi ko siya nilingon. I merely ran my fingers through my blouses. "I got you some trousers to wear, too, just in case. More comfortable, hindi gaanong kasikip."

I mutely nodded, still speechless. Sumisikip na naman ang dibdib ko pero 'di tulad ng kagabi ay hindi naman ako naiiyak. Parang... nanghihinayang lang.

"Evelyn, move. Male-late tayo pareho."

Nang sabihin niya 'yon, umikot ako para tignan siya. "Oh, no, go ahead, lo—Third. It-text ko nalang 'yung driver ko."

He shook his head. "Lapit ng opisina niyo dito. I'll drop you off. No more buts."

So wala akong choice kundi ang mamili ng damit at magpalit na. I chose a peach sheer long-sleeve blouse and paired it with a gray pencil skirt. Maganda nga 'yung trousers na dala niya, but my signature look consisted of skirts and fancy blouses. I wore one of the stilettos I left here tapos ay lumabas na. Siguro papapuntahin ko nalang dito ang isa sa mga kasambahay namin para kunin ang mga gamit ko. I really see no point in coming back here.

Third was silent during the car ride, pero nang magpark siya sa harap ng building ng DMC ay bumaling siya sa'kin, seryoso ang mga mata.

"Be home early, Evelyn.."

Tumango nalang ako at lalabas na sana nang pigilan niya ako.

Seryoso parin ang tingin niya, pero nang maglaon ay lumambot ito. "Sa akin."

I bit my lip and debated on how to tell him, but I figured diretsuhin ko nalang. "Actually, kina Eva ako uuwi mamaya. We all decided to stay the whole weekend kina mommy."

"I can drop you off tomorrow, it's fine."

Umiling ako. "No, Third... I've already done too much. Hindi mo na 'ko kailangan pang isipin. I promised you I wouldn't be a bother anymore."

Naglapat ang mga labi niya, para bang hindi nagustuhan ang sinabi ko. He let go of me and nodded once. "I'll read the will again. We'll see then."

It felt wrong to just leave, na hayaang ito ang huling pagkikita namin ng ganito. It felt too impersonal, na para bang wala kaming pinagsamahan kahit papano. I was just getting dropped off like he was my driver.

Tiningala ko ang building ng kumpanya, trying if I can see the top floor from here, the executive floor. It's the one shared by the president, vice president, CEO, and COO of the company. I want the biggest office in that floor, but in order to do that...

Tumingin ako kay Third. Nakatingin rin siya sa'kin. I have to marry another man; share my bed and my body with someone else for the rest of my life. Kung ma-swerte ako, I may even fall in love with whoever that is. Pero sa paglubog ng araw, I know somewhere deep inside me that it won't be the same love that I feel for Third. The type of love that pulls me out of my ambitions.

Doon ko na realize na kahit hindi si Third ang kailangan kong pakasalan, I was ready to forfeit the position para hindi siya maging miserable. It was the type of love so selfless, it banned all selfish thoughts from me.

I leaned towards Third and he surprisingly did the same. Ngumiti ako bago siya ginawaran ng isang halik. It was the type of kiss that was obviously the last. I gripped his neck tight and pulled him closer. Naramdaman ko rin ang mapaglaro niyang kamay na napunta sa dibdib ko, as expected. We kissed like we were in the middle of a heated sex session, and after that, we were both panting.

Pigil luha akong ngumiti habang pinupunasan ang labi niya. My favorite red lipstick was all over his lips and jaw. He watched me wipe it away with my fingers.

Nagulat ako nang tanggalin niya ang butones ng blouse ko. He raised my left breast from its cup and squeezed. Hinaplos niya ang dibdib ko, pero yumuko rin siya para halikan 'yon. I was moaning while he did wonders to my breast. Nang matapos siya, a bruise was forming. Right under my nipple.

Binalik niya 'yon sa dati at inayos niya din ang buhok ko. We were both silent, even when I opened the door and walked out. Nang lumayo na ang kotse niya, nakatingin parin ako doon. I wanted nothing more than to drive after him, but there was something more than my fear of driving that wS stopping me.

He's not yours, Evelyn.