Hermione groaned as her alarm clock rang. She slapped the top, and got up. When she got down to breakfast, Luna and her mother were already there. "To be honest Luna, I didn't remember anything past my graduation from Hogwarts, until I saw you. You reminded me of... Xenophilius..." "It's alright, Mother. I'm just happy to have you back again. How did you get here, anyway?"

"When the lab exploded, I was thrown into a sort of portal... right after I tried to... Luna, did you try to Apparate? Any of your friends?" They kept talking as Hermione walked in. The table had all sorts of food on it, and Hermione helped herself. "Did you make this yourself, Mrs. Lovegood?" She smiled at Hermione. "Yes, I did. I despise using house elves for simple menial tasks I can do myself. They deserve better."

Just then, Draco came in, and sat down next to Hermione. He also helped himself. "This is really good, Mrs. Lovegood. Can your house-elf owl my mother the recipe?" Luna hid her smile behind her napkin. "Actually Draco, we were just talking about how I don't use house-elves. I think that it isn't fair to them, serving witches and wizards hand and foot." Draco almost challenged her, but a quick glance at Hermione (that only Luna caught) confirmed his suspicions; Luna's mother was Hermione's new hero.

Harry, Ginny, Ron and Neville soon came downstairs, and a livelier conversation was struck up. But soon, it was time for them to go to High School. Luna's mother walked them to the door. "Don't try to Apparate, any of you. Especially you, Luna." Luna nodded, before anyone could ask what she was talking about. They all trudged to the school. Principal Johnson met them at the door. "Ah! There you are! Names, please." They all looked at each other. Muggle names or their real names? "Harry Potter." He said, shrugging. It sounded Muggle enough. "Ron Weasley." He followed suit. "Ginny Weasley." She didn't have to tell Principal Johnson that Ginny was short for Ginevra, not Virginia. "Hermione Granger." Her name just fit into the Muggle category, since there was once a Muggle named Hermione.

"Luna Lovegood." She didn't care if Muggles thought her name was odd. "Draco Malfoy." He said with finalty. If Principal Johnson found their names odd, he didn't say so. "You're all in the same classes, in sophmore year. First class is uh... English! You all ought to do well at that; you're from the UK!" Principal Johnson laughed at his own joke. No one else laughed with him. He led them silently down the hall, to a room which other students were just getting into as well. "Good luck!" he said. They'd need it.

Their English teacher was a woman named Mrs. Bird. She sounded like one too, all fluttery. Hermione and Luna sat up at the front of the class, and Draco sat down next to Hermione. If she noticed this was the second time all morning, she didn't say anything. Harry and Ron sat behind them, Ginny sat next to Harry and Neville sat at the back of the class; trying not to draw any attention to himself. Unforutnately the class bully  saw the three sitting up front and thought, Fresh meat. 

Draco was lost when Mrs. Bird started talking about some book called Pride and Predjudice, but Hermione started talking about how much she loved Jane Austen, with some input from Luna and Ginny. Mrs. Bird smiled. "I see you haven't read the book, Daniel."
"It's Draco." he muttered. 

Mrs. Bird didn't seem to hear. "That's surprising, given that the author is very famous... but then again, girls are usually more inclined to like it more that boys..." Harry and Ron snickered.

 "Harold, Ronald, please be quiet. I'm trying to tell Darcy here about Austen." All the girls in class burst into giggles, while Harry grinned at the teacher getting Draco's name wrong. Even Mrs. Bird laughed when she realized what she had said. Just then, the bell rang, and they all moved to their next class, Art. Though Mrs. Bird pressed a copy of the book into Draco's hands, and told him to read it, or else. He nodded, and followed the others to art class.

The Art teacher was a thin, balding man. He looked as though he couldn't paint a picture to save his life. He passed out paper, pens, and coloured pencils, and said one word the entire time; "Draw." No one knew exactly what to draw, except the Muggles. "Need some help?" One girl whispered to Hermione. Hermione nodded.
 "You just need to draw. Nothing more, nothing less. Feel free to pass it on to your friends." Hermione thanked her, and passed it on. Draco promptly set about drawing a cartoon, making sure none of the Muggles saw it move. Hermione doodled. Harry drew a picture of Voldemort singing while everyone else was covering their ears. Ron drew a Quidditch team. Luna drew a surprisingly realistic picture of Draco and Hermione kissing. Ginny drew a very realistic picture of her and Harry kissing. Neville drew an extraordinarily detailed (and labelled) picture of a cornflower. The rest of the classes were so boring, Draco and the others didn't pay much attention. And it was time for lunch.

They all got lunch from the cafeteria, and Draco wasn't the only one who made a face.
"Bloody hell! People actually eat that?!" Ron muttered.
Harry shrugged, poking the offending meat with his fork. "Apparently so." They all made their way to an empty table. Neville sat on the end, Luna sat next to him, Hermione sat next to her, and Draco sat down on the end. On the other side, Ginny sat in between Harry and Ron. They all picked their way through the mystery meatloaf (It even came with a slogan that said 'ask meat no questions and I'll tell you no lies') and tried to make conversation. 

"So... Granger... muggle food is awful, right?" Draco tried. 
"It's not all like this. This is American public school food." Hermione made a face. "What did you think Muggles ate...?" 
"I don't know. Toads, possibly." Draco scoffed. 
"Toads are poisonous..." Neville trailed off at the look Draco was giving him. 

"Sorry to break it to you Malfoy, but nope. Normal Muggles eat normal food." Harry made a face at the food in front of him. Not even the Dursleys had been this cruel. 
"...so... what do your parents do again?" Draco asked Hermione. 
She shot him a wary look, before answering. "They are dentists." 

"And what's that, exactly?" Luna asked airily. 
"They fix people's teeth. Sometimes they rip them out." Hermione shrugged. 
The purebloods stared at her in horror while Harry warily tried a Tater Tot soaked in grease. 
"Why?!" Draco finally demanded. 
"We don't have--" Hermione was interrupted by a hand on her shoulder. He had dark hair, pale skin, and somehow reminded Harry of someone. He also had the air of somebody in power, and used to using his power to hurt others. 

"The name's Jones, Jonathan Jones. So. I hear you're the new exchange students."
 "Obviously." Draco scoffed.
Jonathan glared at him, and continued, speaking to Hermione. "How about I show you around sometime?"
 "How about you don't do that?" Hermione tried, narrowing her eyes and flicking his hand off of her shoulder hard.
He leaned in close and whispered something in her ear. 

Hermione couldn't find any words, but the look of disgusted shock was enough. Ron and Harry stood up in synchronization, but Luna spoke up first. "Sorry, she has a boyfriend. And it's not a long distance relationship, he's sitting right here with us."
Jonathan sneered. "Really? The redheaded stepchild, the wimp, the aristocrat wannabe, or the walking sweater? Are you serious?" 

"Boyfriend or not, I really think you should piss off now." Ron hissed.
"Whatever. Sooner or later, I'll get the girl. I always do." Jonathan left to go harass someone else.
Luna shook her head. "Not this time..."
 Hermione looked at her. "Thanks Luna, but that wasn't necessary."
"We can't hex them." Luna pointed out. "Jones is an arse, so he's going to respect you being someone's possession more than anything else."

"Then where am I going to find a boyfriend?"
Luna pointed at Draco. "I bet if you ask nicely, he'll help you. And he's the only boy here who's capable of protecting you from that bully and is single."
"Hey!" said Ron.
They all looked at him. 
"Will you do it though?" Harry asked. "And Luna, I'm single--" 

"The minute Hermione tries to act like your mother, your cover's blown." Luna replied, spearing a piece of meat with her fork and examining it.
"Draco, will you please be my fake boyfriend so we can avoid Jonathan Jones?" Hermione sighed.
Draco smiled. At least it was a start. "Well. I don't know, Granger. I'll have to think about it." 

"How is this going to protect her? We can all just stay together. If he's her boyfriend, we'll all want to strangle him." Ginny pointed out.
Luna shrugged. "We won't ever leave them alone, now will we? Besides, Draco is the snarkiest of all of you."
"I think I'd prefer Jones." Hermione muttered.
Draco looked offended. "Fine, Granger. I'll help you. But..."
Luna seemed to be trying to not laugh. Everyone else rolled their eyes.
"You have to help me clean my room better, deal?"
Hermione nodded. "You can't treat me like a house elf though." 

"Why? I thought you liked them." Draco blinked. "Though I assure you, your friends would probably hang me from the ceiling until I turned purple if I tried to deprive you of clothes." 
Hermione shot him a murderous look, and Luna sighed, looking up at the ceiling in exasperation. 
"Fine, I promise I'll... be cordial? I assume that's what you want." Draco huffed. 
"Then yes, I agree to your deal."

The rest of the classes passed much the same, with no homework and minimal attention paid by everyone except Hermione and Draco, the latter of which only paid attention to show her up later. When they were walking home, Luna said, "Put your arm around Hermione."
"What?" Draco and Hermione both said (though neither sounded particularly upset).
 "Do it!" Luna hissed. Draco put his arm around Hermione obediently. Luna nodded with satisfaction. Jonathan Jones was heading towards them. 

He raised an eyebrow at Draco's arm around Hermione. "As if this makes sense. Now, sweetheart, do you have plans of becoming a cheerleader? Because I'm the star quarterback, and-"
"No you're not. Tryouts are tomorrow. Mrs. Snitch told me. And anyway, what makes you so sure you'll win? Other people want to be the quarterback too." Luna piped up. Jonathan cracked his knuckles. "No, they don't. Besides, do any of you even know what football is?"

Ron nodded. "It's that game where you kick the ball around!" 
"No, you carry it." Jonathan scoffed. 
"Americans are weird." Hermione muttered to Ron. 

Luna raised an eyebrow, and said, "If you keep doing that to your hands, the nargles will get you."
"The what?" Jonathan laughed.
"The nargles. And where we come from, if you don't like somebody, you call them by their last name. First names are for friends only."
"But I do like Hermione, Blondie. And speaking of blonds, what wrong with brunette, Hermione?" He said, pointing to his own dark locks. Draco's grip on Hermione tightened. "I don't think so, Jones. I think Hermione can choose the right sort for herself, thanks." 

Jonathan sneered at him, and Draco raised an eyebrow. "Oh come now, Jones! I could sneer better than that in diapers!"
"I'll bet. Probably came out scowling." Ginny muttered.
"And you want to steal my girl? Ha!" Draco continued. Jonathan glared at him, and Hermione shot Draco a wary look that no one but he and Luna saw, and Draco smirked at Jonathan. "And your glaring is even worse."

Jonathan huffed, before leaving. "I'm going to get you soon, Blondies." 

*Author's Note*

By the way, the original Hermione was the daughter of Helen of Troy. And I'm thinking of having Draco try out for quarterback, just to piss off Jonathan. That would be fun. 

However, Draco doesn't have the muscle for it. Quidditch players are built to be more wiry than football players.