Word Count: 1646

When you hear of someone being in a relationship, you imagine romantic walks, dinners, joy and happiness. You imagine people seeing how happy you are, being in love not only behind closed door, but also in public. You imagine a relationship unlike yours.

You didn't plan on ever being madly in love with two men – your long-term boyfriend, who has been your sweetheart since high school, and Liam Heelis, center of Fife Flyers, who was later signed by Braehead Clan. Who is also in a relationship. You talked about this, multiple times in fact, but no matter how guilty you feel, you can't break up with your partners. You have been living in Braehead, Glasgow, Scotland, your whole life, until you started studying at University of St Andrews in St Andrews, Fife, Scotland. Soon after the classes start, your friend and roommate took you to a game between Fife Flyers and newcomers from English Premier League, Guildford Flames, Fife's biggest rival in earlier years. Somehow, inexplicably, things happened and somehow you got to meet Liam Heelis, Irish-Canadian center from Georgetown, Ontario in Canada, who has started his first season in EIHL, having played for various Canadian teams before that. You hit it off right away and somehow you both forgot to mention you were both in a relationship. What started as a supposed one night stand became a fully-blossomed secret relationship.

When you hold me in the street
And you kiss me on the dance floor

Whenever his girlfriend was not in town, it was your habit to take a midnight walk. The streets were empty and there was almost no risk you would get caught. Sometimes, you visited small pubs for a few drinks and it usually ended with you in his embrace, swaying your hips left and right, following the music. You remember how he was looking at you just seconds before capturing your lips into a sweet and soft kiss. How you felt like the only girl for him and how at those moments, images of your boyfriend faded to grey. It was a secret relationship, but it was wonderful, breathtaking...all you have ever dreamt of.

Summer came and you returned home for a few months. For those blissful months without school, assignments, late night studying. But at the same time, those months without seeing or hearing from Liam. You thought it would be a good thing. To rekindle the fire in your relationship back home and to figure out what you want. Or more precisely, who you want. Your option A was your long term boyfriend. Intelligent, loving, loyal, slightly clumsy college student, whom you have been in a relationship in since high school. And your option B was Liam Heelis, taken hockey player, who played for 6 Canadian teams, including representing colors of Acadia University Axemen hockey team for four years. A nerdy and dedicated guy, who respects women and treats every girl with respect. The problem is, as mentioned, another girl holds his heart. To you, both of them mean something important. Something you can't just let go. And coming home from the university for a few months was supposed to help you clear your mind. Go on dates with your boyfriend, rethink the past year and everything that has happened, then start a new school year with clearer picture of your future. You were planning to resolve the situation you found yourself in before the beginning of the new school year.

However, things don't go as planned. Soon after you got home, the news of Liam Heelis joining the Braehead Clan surfaced. And started media frenzy on Twitter, Facebook and other media sites. That frenzy was nothing compared to what you were feeling. That shouldn't have happened. It wasn't planned and that infuriated you. You were about to text Liam what he hell had happened, but he was the first one to send you a message. A simple "We have to meet.", but it was enough for you. For your heart to skip a beat, for your brain to recall all those stolen kisses in the dark alleys you tried so hard to push back. For your skin to remember the feeling of his skin next to yours. For your Romeo-and-Juliet type of forbidden love story. For everything you tried to forget.

Y

It's obvious you're meant for me
Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly
Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep
But I'll never show it on my face
But we know this, we got a love that is homeless

A day later you meet in secrecy. You get to his place, hoping you will resolve this once and for all. But as your eyes land on him, you know this will be the toughest thing. Even though you have seen him a few months ago, it seems like it has been centuries and somehow, you find him more attractive. His longer and curly brown hair and how his glasses suit him. His shy smile, which turns into an honest smile when he sees you walking towards him.

"Y/L/N," he greets you with a smirk and a quick hug. It seems like a reunion of two friends to any one seeing that and it would be, if the hug didn't last a second or two too long.

"Heelis," you reply when you pull apart. He chuckles at you saying his surname and puts his hand on your shoulder. Giving it a little squeeze, he smiles: "Long time no see. How have you been? How is Y/BF/N?"

"We are great, still going strong. How is...Mandy?"

"She is doing great...wasn't exactly the happiest when she found out I will be playing in Braehead, but she will come here every weekend."

Your heart sinks when you hear he is still in a relationship. That means there are only two possible outcomes: breaking up this relationship or continue being a girl with two boyfriends, with one of them dating another girl.

"She sounds like a real keeper. How long have you been with her again?"

"Y/L/N, let's cut this small talk. Can you come with me, please?"

He takes you to his rented place, small one-bedroom apartment with a tiny kitchen and even tinier bathroom. However, it's nice and cozy, you can almost see chilling on the couch with him, watching movies. You used to do that a lot back in Fife, keeping your relationship secret.

"Y/N,..."
"Don't say it. You are not planning on breaking up with her, am I right?"

"It's not simple. I love her, but I also love you..."

"Hiding this relationship exhaust me, Liam. It really does."
"Are you willing to break up with Y/BF/N?"

Your silence says more than enough. Liam nods and takes your hand in his: "Neither of us wants to let go of what we have and neither of us wants to break up with our partners. So...?"
"So guess that mean we will continue with...this?"

"I can't see other options now...maybe as the time goes by, we will figure something out."
You nod. After all, this whole thing is too complicated and you don't even know where you are in your secret relationship. He squeezes your hand, getting your attention again: "I know this is not right, but I can't just let go of what we have."

"How many other girls are in the category of "can't let go of what we have"?" you ask sourly. His hand moves from your hand to your chin as he lifts your head again: "No one else. I promise."

After a cuddling session on his couch and eating a dinner Liam cooked for the two of you, he offers you a ride home. It's dark outside and being a gentleman, he doesn't want you to walk alone.

As you drive me to my house
I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down
You and I both have to hide
On the outside where I can't be yours and you
Can't be mine
But I know this
We got a love that is homeless.

For the entire ride to your home, you can't stop tears of disappointment and sadness from rolling down your cheeks or you can't silence your quiet sobs. He hears that and intertwines his fingers with yours in complete silence. Somehow, his touch comforts you.

"I promise we will get through this somehow."
"Aren't you tired of hiding? We can't be seen together in public, we can't go on normal dates."

He quickly glances at you: "I am, but...It's complicated. I know we will figure it out eventually."

"Liam, I wish I could call you mine. That I could hold you hand on the street, kiss you in front of everyone...I want to be yours."
"But you are also Y/BF/N's."

"We have been dating since high school... I love him, but I love you too..."

He can't find the answer to that. The car sinks in silence and it stays like that until you get to your home. He turns off the engine and turns to you. His eyes are darker and sadder and he appears older. More tired.

"I can see we are meant for each other. Every moment with you is wonderful and I wish more than anything I could call you mine. I don't want to break your relationship apart, but I know if we weren't in a relationships, we would be together. And I would make the world know how much I love you."

"One day..."
"One day everyone will know. I won't hide us, I will hold you and kiss you in the middle of the most crowded street."

His words are everything you want to hear, but deep inside you know things will never change for the two of you.