Dear father

I am not good at expressing my feeling, thought, emotion in my mother tongue. It's not like I dislike my mother tongue or something. I just can't...

I don't know I am the monster from beginning or I gradually turning into it after all this time.

You are not good and you pointed a knife at mum. Your behavior is bad and impolite. You washed all of that with the word "psychotic ". You said you are a bit crazy, psychotic, something like that. You said you are not as normal as human should be.

Well, you know, I am your daughter. So if you had it, then I had it too. I am scared. Really scared. I don't know what to do. I think I am heartless, merciless person. And how hard I try to not being vicious, I just feel tired and annoyed. If you two can get along well then break up. I don't mind or even care. If you can pee all the shit of you in peace, I want, I will, I gonna, I. Kill. Kill all. If you harm anyone. I will kill all. I will drag everybody down to hell with me. I will destroy every thing. Just don't touch mom or harm yourself. I will be broken. And fall into the darkness. Please don't.

A few time I want to make you unable to move for the rest of your life. Just to make sure a happy life for me. Don't care about what to make you unable to move or how make you become that condition. I know that's too vicious but I scared. I should't think that. But I...

I don't know that "psychotic " you said before is the curse or the rescuing with me. Because of it, I became this monster or I am just nothing but monster from beginning. And with it, I can blame for them. Because I am crazy, psychotic like my father. My mind is not so normal as it's should be, so all of you can't blame me about anything. I am good person. Just have a bad mind. Good person...

I am sorry.