HK Book Review Shop
Stunned by @Itim_na_pluma
Reviewed by @ratihfarida20

Thank you for your submission, it is really appreciated.

I apologise that the review formatting has changed. The review will still cover the same elements as before. I do not have the time to change the formatting to previous reviews.

Opening Scene
Does the story begin with an interesting hook, creating a desire to read more?
The story itself begins with Liv's point of view as the female lead. The opening scene described how she felt, having such a suicidal thought, which I am so concerned about the topic.So, I decided to read more chapters of the book.
Does the manuscript begin in the right place?
Yes it does, even though for some reason, starting from the third paragraph, I'm kind of confused by some tagalog since it's not my first language, which made me skip to another paragraph to read on, but it's still fine for me since the author herself already warned the readers about the English/Tagalog through her book description.

Characterization and motivation
Are the characters compelling, sympathetic, or someone you can root for?
I'm rooting for Liv -the female lead as a representative of whoever it was that had such a struggle to fight against their suicidal thoughts.And more precisely I feel so sorry for her lost, written in the Prologue that her mom commit suicide by hanging herself in the rest room right before her eyes when she was young back then -which probably it'd been the reason why or cause for her trauma that left her having the same thought to suicide-

Do the characters feel real and three-dimensional, with distinct voices, flaws, and virtues?
Liv and Noah were voicing people with mental illness in real life, which society would always judge them as being flawed and problematic.

Are their goals clear and proactive enough to influence the plot (not passive)?
Not sure about the real goals that the author wants to achieve, but the background story about Liv in the past seemed to get me stunned.

Do their motivations seem believable, with well-drawn and appropriate emotion?
So far, the characters were well drawn and I can feel the appropriate emotion towards the characters especially Liv -Female lead- and Noah -Male lead- who are struggling with their mental illness. And for Olivia as an example, she seemed to be the one who always burst out in anger while Noah seemed to be the opposite.

Are the secondary characters well-rounded and enhance the story rather than overwhelming the story or seeming like they should be cut?
Starting from chapter six to eleven, Grace seemed to be the highlight of the story due to her sudden death. And If she's not the secondary character or just an extra herself in the story, I think her scene should be cut.

Are the relationships between the characters believable and not contrived?
The relationship between Liv and Noah was good as friends, but then it turned out to be such a hot and cold relationship on the day she asked him about how he felt about her. So, yes, it does happen in real life sometimes.

Plot and Conflict
Are the internal and external conflicts well defined for each main character?
I think the experimental drugs that Liv's parents produced in the past caused her to have more power in those fighting scenes? So, yes, the internal and the external conflicts were well defined.

Does the premise avoid cliche and/or bring a fresh perspective to an old idea?
The premise was typical cliche, but the plot seems unexpected till the very end of chapters.
Are the plot twists believable yet unexpected?
Yes, totally makes me stunned just like the main title.

Pacing
Does every scene add to and seem important to the story?
For Grace's scene, just like I said before, it needs to be cut. But in the end, it's up to the author since completing the book itself is hard. So, yes, this is my suggestion only.

Is there a hook at the end of each chapter or scene that makes you want to read more?
Yes, more chapters made me more stunned, especially the fighting scene. But sadly speaking, I wanted to read more chapters about intimacy between the Male and Female Lead -Noah and Liv-, since romance itself is like my cup of tea, or else just like to spice things/the plots up.

Setting and Worldbuilding
Are the descriptions vivid and give a clear sense of time and place?
Clear but somehow, this little description "Can Noah became her remedy?" made me believe that the plot twist at the ending of the story doesn't even exist.That made me think of any possibilities about the happy ending rather than the twist.

Do the details enhance rather than distract from the story?
Some of the details enhance and the rest are kind of distracting, especially the violence scenes from chapter thirty one to thirty two where Liv cut the antagonist's throat and tackled their eyes, even though they deserve it lol but still that scene made me shudder.

Dialogue
Does dialogue move the story forward and reveal the characters?
Yes, Liv's dialogues that always filled with her sassiness and boldness seemed to perfectly cast on her characters so well.

Are characters' voices consistent and distinct from one another?
Yes, the voices of Liv are consistent even there's one -another character named Olivia Dark that was apparently her past self which is making me stunned after.

Is there an appropriate mix of dialogue and narrative?
Yes, absolutely.

Craft
Does the writing "show" the scene with the senses, using "telling" only as an appropriate?
It does.

Does the writing quality allow the story to shine through and draw the reader in, or are flaws jarring or intrusive?
Yes, the writing quality is good, even if there's any minor typos but it can be worked upon

Is the tone appropriate and consistent for the story?
Yes.

Is the point of view (and any changes) handled appropriately and consistently?
Yes.

Overall Impression
Is the voice unique, fresh or interesting?
Yes! Especially when Liv -the female lead- being bold and sassy like that. It made her character look Sessy (Sexy+Sassy) not like those any other girls/females lead Lol

Does the story deliver on the promise of its premise and opening scenes?
Yes.

From a reader's point of view, did you enjoy reading this story?
Definitely.

Additional Questions for Comment :
Are there any confusing sections that should be made clearer?
The Tagalog's Narration and Dialogue but the author herself already explained to me about the details so the problem was solved actually.

Do any sections take you out of the story?
I don't think so.

Is the story a good fit for the stated genre, and if not, why not?
I think for the genre itself it could add to Action since there were any fighting scenes starting from chapter thirty to the ending.

Who are your favorite-and least favorite-characters and why?
Most Favorite :
Liv because she's different from those cliche types of female leads.
Noah since he's so kind.
Least Fav :
But sorry I think I had to put Noah as well here *boohoo* Since that chapter I read when he didn't want to admit his own feelings towards Liv made me think like *Ugh, seriously dude? Are you even a man?*
Hunter, since he's like a man whore even if in the chapter thirty he seems nice but still I don't like this type of man in real life, sorry lol
Miles Santiago, She's a spoiled brat and typical trust fund baby you always find in real life.
Thana, a real bitch who kidnapped Noah in the story.

What aspects are especially likable or unlikable about the protagonist(s)?
I like her sassiness, boldness even though probably some people would find her character too bitchy? Well, that's fine. Everyone got their own opinion though.

What three things worked best for you?
Prologue, Opening Scene, Conflict, Ending Scene/Plot Twist.

What three things worked least for you?
Tagalog's Description/Narration, and Dialogue.

Chapter by Chapter Questions
What works well in this chapter? What did you enjoy most about this chapter, or what gave you the strongest personal reaction?
- Chapter three, for some reason I like the tagline/dialogue -Crying is my weakness- who made me believe that most people would fight against/fear that feeling and always find it such a shame or looking weak. It's relatable though for real life issues.
- Chapter eight, when Noah broke Hunter's laptop lol I found it really funny, making myself burst out laughing in tears lol
- Chapter nine to ten, where Liv asked Noah about his feelings towards her and then Noah answered a 'No, I don't' briefly really made me sad while deep down he did have feelings for her in his own p.o.v, written in chapter 10. And again made me feel like "Ugh, why Noah, just why"
- Chapter sixteen, the reveal of Olivia Dark as Liv's Miller past self.
- Chapter thirty, when Noah got kidnapped, made me sad.
- Chapter thirty one to thirty two, when the fighting scene began made me "Woah" especially when Liv did the heroic scene! Like, you go girl, slay!

What didn't work in this chapter? What was confusing, misplaced, or otherwise felt "off" to you?
Again like I said, only the tagalog's narration and dialogue seemed off or confusing to me.
Did you wish to learn more about any particular topic? I wish to know more about that particular kind of drugs that Liv's parents produce. I mean did that really exist in real life though? If it did exist, then damn, interesting!

Have any predictions? Based on what you just read, what do you think will happen next? No, since the story itself had been completed.

Were the characters realistic? Were the characters (including the narrator) believable, relatable, and consistent unto themselves? If not, what do you think was missing to make them so? So far, they're all relatable and realistic. And great job for the author! Looking forward to Season 2! Yoohoo!

Note for the Author

Dear Author,

You may find this review valuable, you may not. However, this is one opinion on your work.

Your book is special as you have spent countless hours creating it from your creativity, hard work, and determination. If your book is a first draft, remember this will need to be edited.

No book, art piece is perfect. And, that's okay.

No one knows your story better than you do. As long as you feel proud of it, consider your book a success.

Reviews can only offer suggestions that could improve your book. Do not take this review to heart.

Trust yourself. You poured your heart and soul into this book, and that is something to be proud of.

Keep writing because one day your book will be someone's favourite.