❝Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.❞
-Marcus Aurelius

***

The drive back home seemed long. It seemed as if it would never end, for neither of us talked much. I was thinking about how shook up Maya was earlier, and I'm sure that's what she was thinking of, too. I just don't understand why she would want me to promise her that I wouldn't let anyone burn out my light. She knows I wouldn't. She knows I aspire to remain happy, no matter how hard or challenging it may be. I want to be happy, and I try to be happy at every occasion. I just wish she would open up, talk to me, tell me what's going on. I worry about her, and it doesn't help when she doesn't tell me what's going on. It doesn't help when she won't let me in. I just want her to let me in, to let me help. I want to help her, is that too much to ask for?

"I don't want it to seem like I'm giving you the silent treatment, because I'm not," she says after a very long moment of silence. "I just don't know what to tell you, that I haven't already told you. I don't know what you want to hear, after everything I've already shared and talked with you about. There's no new words we can tell each other, for we already know more about one another than is probably legal," she dryly laughs. "Yet, I don't want to not talk. I want to talk for hours with you, over mindless shit that doesn't matter. Over things that won't change the future, things that won't shape lives, but things that make us laugh. I love bringing a smile to your face, and I wish I could do it more. I wish I could make you laugh more, smile more, sigh in content more. No matter how little I'm able to do that, just know that's what really makes me happy, is seeing you happy. I love you, Clark, I'm sorry it took so long to tell you. I'm sorry I'm scared of being hurt, but just know that this weekend was magical. I don't believe in magic of any sorts, but I don't have to be a wizard to prove this was real magic."

I don't know how to reply. I don't know what to say. For once again, Maya Edwards has left me speechless. The beautiful girl that holds my heart, has once again said amazing words that has really made my mind think. That has really left me wondering about so many things. She's amazing and wonderful, and I can only smile at her. I can only look over at her for a fraction of a second — the road being ahead — and give her a smile. A smile that lets her know she does make me smile a lot. A smile that lets her know it's okay she took so long to tell me she loves me. A smile that lets her know the magic is real. Magic is real, it has nothing to do with wands, but instead everything to do with what's inside of us. I find her magical, and I find myself to be a grand wizard to have found her.

"I love you, Maya, I'm sorry I can't say something more after all of that, but I do love you. We can talk about whatever you wish. We can talk for hours if you want to. Anything you want, I'll give it to you if I can. I want to make you laugh, to make you happy as well. I want to spend my days cracking lame jokes just to see you light up. I would spend the rest of my life coming up with lame jokes, if they made you smile," I admit, hoping it doesn't sound as cliche as I feel it does.

"I would spend hours listening to those lame jokes, for I wouldn't want to hear anything else. You're special, Clark, so very special. It's as if we really are soulmates, as if Zeus really did take his lightning bolt and strike us down the  middle, having us find one another in a different life. It didn't take very long for us to find each other, but I don't think I could have lived as long if I didn't know you," she says, and I want to ask her what she means, for she has her whole life ahead of her to live. Her whole beautiful life, and she deserves to fill it with the universe and all the happiness she can find. "You really are my other half, Kent, and I just want you to know that. In friendship and in love, you are my soulmate. There is no one else out there in that big bad world that is for me, no one else out there that I can relate to. I know that you deserve better, I know that I'm not good enough for you, but I truly love you. You have opened up my mind and eyes to so many things. You've brought me the happiness I could have only dreamed about. You've caused me to feel so many emotions that I didn't even know were possible. You've saved me, Clark, in every way a person can be saved. I'm not just saying this because Elderly Rose Dewitt Bukater said this, either, I'm saying this because it's true. You really have saved me, and I will forever be grateful. You've saved me and helped me and loved me. I couldn't ask for more."

"When you tell me these things, when you open up to me like this, I can't begin to describe how amazing it makes me feel. How my heart sort of flutters when I hear those words come out of your mouth. I am sentimental, Maya, but it's a damn good thing I am. I can appreciate you, if I am. I can believe your lovely words you tell me, if I am. I haven't saved you, you've saved me. Then again, perhaps, we've saved each other. It seems like that sometimes, when we both find happiness in each other. It seems as if we really have saved one another. I like the thought of saving you, I just hope I've did my best, for you deserve my best," I say, trying not to think about all of this too much, trying to keep these raw feelings at bay. It's been an amazing weekend, so amazing that I could find myself crying just at the thought of how joyful it all has been.

"You deserve the best, and I only tell you all of this, because it's true. I want you to know the truth, I want you to see that you are an amazing person, that you have done so much for me. There is no one else I'd rather talk about Orion's belt with. No one else I'd rather find Jupiter with. No one else I'd rather stay up with, just to lie on their balcony and talk about things that only matter to us. You're the only person I want to do all of that with, and you're the only person I will."

I squeeze her hand, hoping to assure her that she is the only one as well, the only one I'll ever do any of that with. The only person I want to experience space with, the only person I want to experience life with. She's the only one for me, and I know she knows this. Somewhere deep down, she knows she's the only one. I just need for her to open her eyes, to admit to it. I need her to believe that I'll never leave her, that we'll be together forever and ever. Whether it just be friends, or whether it be something more. Her and I, always.

"There's one thing I am sorry for," she begins, after another moment of silence.

"What's that?" I ask, hoping she doesn't fall apart, yet hoping she'll open up to me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I wasn't at your uncle's funeral. This has weighed heavy on my heart, ever since I watched you cry at school. Ever since I held you in the hall and felt your pain, I've been so regretful. I should have walked, I should have done everything I could have to make it. I'm so sorry, Clark, so sorry," she whispers, before she gives my hand a squeeze.

"It's okay, Maya, you don't have to beat yourself up over this. Things come up in people's life, stuff happens, I'm not going to hold it against you. You seen me at school, you comforted me there, you hugged me when I needed it. You shouldn't feel the least bit guilty. I know you love me, Maya, I know you're there for me, that's enough. That is literally enough for me," I promise her, hoping she'll stop feeling like this. As long as she's here now, that's all that matters to me. As long as I get to hug her and love her, than it's all right with me.

"It's not okay, though, it really isn't. I get you're okay with it, but I'm not. I'm your best friend, I should have been there when you lost your other best friend. Clearly, I don't get an award for the bestest friend," she dryly laughs. "That's for sure."

"I don't want to give you an award, I just want you. You've always been enough for me, no matter when you've arrive, no matter when you've left. Whenever you're around, that's enough for me. That's more than enough for me. You don't have to worry about any of this, okay? Just enjoy all that we've done today. Enjoy the memories of catching the stars. Enjoy the memories of Chicago. Enjoy the memories of me, even, for I'm always here. I wanted to make you happy, and yesterday when you opened your eyes and found yourself in front of the Adler Planetarium, I knew I did better than I could have ever imagined. I saw so much happiness in your eyes, it was all worth it. All the bad in my life seemed to have melted away as I stood there and watched you react. That was worth it all, that was worth a lifetime to me. I'm just so happy I was the one that made your eyes glisten like that. I was so happy," I tell her, wanting her to know how much all of that meant to me. To see her so bright and happy. To see her eyes shining with a glint I haven't seen in what seems like forever. She's always beautiful, but there's no beauty like the beauty that happiness creates.

"You make me happy," she assures me. "No planetariums, no large cities, just you. You're what my happiness consists of, you really are."

"That's why you did your hair the other day and dressed up for me," I smile, the reminder making me want to laugh from joy.

"Don't remind me!" She squeals, and I find her blushing. "I did my makeup and everything."

"I know, I barely recognized you. You look better without it, so much better without it. You look like Maya when you don't have all that crap caked on your face, but then again, if you liked it..."

"Liked it? It was heavy and nasty," she laughs. "You were jealous, too. I seen how you asked me who I dressed up for, as if I would dress up for anyone other than you," she scoffs, the idea seeming to be rather stupid to her.

"How was I supposed to know?" I chuckle. "You could have had a secret man for all I knew."

"So, you were jealous?" She asks, a hint of mischievousness in her voice.

"Well..."

"Clark."

"Maya."

"Tell me the truth," she smiles, while bopping my nose.

"Okay, fine. Yes, Maya, I was jealous, okay? I just thought that if you had to dress up for some guy, than he wasn't worth it. I know I'm not worth it either, for I believe you deserve more, but that doesn't mean I wanted it to be for someone else. I wanted it to be for me, so I could tell you you didn't need to wear any of that to impress me. You already impress me, Maya, just plain you."

"I like that you were jealous. I really do. I like how you like plain me, I like how you just like me. And you deserve me, Clark, I don't deserve you. Until you have one hundred of me, than I deserve you, for perhaps all of those me's can finally make a respectable human," she half laughs.

"I just need one of you. You're already a respectable human. I don't want a hundred of you, for none of them would be you, only you're you. I don't want a carbon copy, I just want the real Maya Edwards," I say, wanting her to believe this, to know this, to accept this.

"I love you. I may have said this so much this weekend — despite us always saying it a lot — but I do. I really, honestly, do," she tells me.

"I love you, too, and you could never say it enough. Every time I hear it, it feels like it's the first time."

"You're lovely, Kent, you're a real lovely man," she whispers.

"You're the lovely one."

"Just take the damn complement," she laughs. "Okay?"

"Okay," I reply in defense. "I will."

"Good."

It was only moments later, when we arrived back at my house. We were both greeted by my mother, as she ran outside to give us both a large hug and ask us how our little trip went.

"It was amazing!" Maya exclaims, the glint back in her eyes. "We went to the Adler Planetarium and it was mind blowing. It was like touching the stars, reaching into the galaxies, discovering something new. It was the best weekend ever, I've never had this much fun," she smiles, before it all fades away. "I don't want tomorrow to come. I don't want this all ruined."

"Hey," I tell her, as we walk inside. "It won't be ruined. Don't worry about what everyone else says. They aren't worth it, Maya, none of them. Maybe, this weekend we can do something else, okay?"

"Yeah," she sighs, but it's as if she doesn't believe me.

"Are you two hungry?" Mom asks as we walk into the living room, only to be met with Dad watching the news.

"Hey, kiddos! How was Chicago?" He asks.

"Awesome," I reply the same time Maya says, "Amazing."

"I'm not hungry," I say to Mom. "Maybe, Maya is, though?"

"Nah," Maya shakes her head, I just want to rest. Want to build a comfy area on the balcony?" She asks me.

"Love to," I say, before picking up my bag I happened to throw onto the floor, and follow her up the stairs.

"You're parents are so nice, Clark, you're really lucky, you know," she tells me after I shut my bedroom door behind us.

"I know I am," I reply, not wanting to think about the life Maya's had to go through, while my parents have done nothing but love me.

"I consider them to be my parents. My real parents, as if I were separated from them in another life," she says, while picking up a few blankets off of my bed.

"If that were the case, this would all be a bit awkward," I half laugh.

"Not like that. I mean my parents are my real parents, but I'd like to think yours are my adopted parents. Get it now?"

"Yeah," I reply. "Maybe, in a few years they will be," I shrug.

"What do you mean?" She asks, before dropping the blankets she was holding onto the balcony.

"Perhaps, in a few years, if you want to, of course, they could become your mother and father-in-laws," I shrug again, as if what I'm saying isn't a big deal.

"What?" She practically gapes, and I'm glad she isn't drinking water, for if she was, I would probably be wearing it right now.

"You told me we were soulmates. You love me. You don't want me to leave you, what better way to show you I'd never leave you, than marry you?"

"This is a big deal, Clark, a huge deal," she dryly laughs. "Do you even know what you're saying?"

"I'm saying I want to marry the love of my life. I'm not saying tomorrow, I'm not saying a year from now, I'm just saying maybe, someday. If you don't want to, that's fine, but if we love each other and know that we're soulmates, what's the harm? I already know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be the one you grow old with. Is that such a terrible thing?" I ask, hoping she'll tell me it's not terrible at all. Hoping she'll tell me she thinks it's a wonderful idea, that we should get married in the future.

"Can we talk about this another time?" She asks, her voice holding a sort of pleading tone. "I'm just so tired, and I don't want this conversation to end up wrongly. I don't want either of us upset, I just want to enjoy tonight, before the hell of tomorrow comes. Can we do that? I know you've done enough for me, but I just ask for this one last favor."

"Of course," I reply without any thought. "It's a big thing to discuss anyway. So, today was fun, though?" I ask her as I grab a few pillows and drop them off onto the balcony.

"It was amazing. Fun doesn't even describe. I loved every minute of it. It was like stepping into a whole other world, a world that I could find myself wanting to live among. I want to be among the stars, to reach out and touch the Big Dipper, to fly among Orion's Belt, to see Cassiopeia in person. I got that for now, though, to be apart of something larger than what I am. It was phenomenon. It was all my dreams in one, my dreams that I can complete now. The dreams I don't need a degree to perform. It was perfect, Clark, purely perfect. That's not even an exaggeration. Enough of me, however, how did you like it?"

"I loved it," I tell her as we smooth down the blankets and put the pillows in a more comfortable position for our bodies. "It was everything I was hoping, plus more. I got to learn about new facts, see things that I never thought I would see at just the age of eighteen. I got to explore the heavens without actually fixing a rocket, and it was awesome. Not only that, but I got to do it all with you, which made it even more special. Anything accomplished with you, is better than anything else. I'm glad we went. I'm glad the idea came into my mind. I'm glad you wanted to make it count, for it does so much. All of this counts, and I'm glad I made you happy."

"You always make me happy," she smiles, as we lay down and stare up at the dimly lit sky.

"You always make me happy, too," I reply, before finding her hand among the blankets and holding it as we talk more about the adventurous weekend we had together.