Byun Baekhyun
- Nyxessa -

Getting on the same page about where and how to start was not quite easy so to speak. And that was probably still an understatement. Baekhyun and Chanyeol realized pretty quickly after they started talking about the possible connections between Changnam and Chanyeol that there was no obvious one which was mostly because Baekhyun realized, that he didn't know much about his late husband's life before they met. Not where he went to school, not where he was living during his childhood days, no old friends, no family other than his parents from which he didn't know the address. It made Baekhyun both ashamed and confused and Chanyeol annoyed. Chanyeol might be not Changnam but Baekhyun could read him nevertheless because his facial features and reactions to certain things are just the same.

When Chanyeol is annoyed, his eyebrows lift a bit and his plump lips turn into a straight line, when he thinks hard he pouts, when he is surprised his eyes turn round like the moon and his mouth falls open, and when he smiles honestly his ears twitch a little bit and dimples appear on his cheeks. Just like they used to do on Changnam's face and Baekhyun needed to remind himself multiple times during their first strategy meet-up, that the person sitting before him is a stranger and not the man he married.

It got easier with time though, because Baekhyun quickly realized that although Chanyeol looked just like Changnam, his personality was a different one. Changnam had a calculating, charismatic, dominating personality, basically overflowing with confidence and although Baekhyun had been able to read all the emotions that were going on in the other, he never knew what the other was thinking specifically. Chanyeol on the other hand turned out to be a gigantic fluffball most of the time, clumsy, clueless a lot of times, and easily scared by basically everything loud. Once Baekhyun had dropped a bowl into the sink when they met up at his flat and Chanyeol had jumped out of his chair, eyes big and hands clutching his chest as if someone had just tried to assassinate him. Baekhyun couldn't help but break out in laughter, the first genuine laugh in two years and Chanyeol had been quick to follow him. His laugh also was kind of pure, innocent, lightening up the room instantly while Changnam's had always been sexy and mysterious as if he knew more than the people around him.

Baekhyun would lie if he said that it was not confusing him from time to time because he felt like he knew the person in front of him in and out but then Chanyeol's reactions completely threw him off because he reacted completely different than Baekhyun expected him to react.

He hadn't been the only one to feel that way. Jongdae and Minseok, the only people that had known Changnam besides himself, were also baffled when they first met Chanyeol.

Jongdae is Baekhyun's best friend since childhood days, they have been inseparable for over 20 years now. The brown-haired, slim man with a smile that easily could compete with the sun got married young and recently became a father. Of course, he had chosen Baekhyun as the godfather of his little sunshine of a girl. Baekhyun loves the little girl to pieces just how he loves his best friend, who always wears a sad smile on his face when he watches Baekhyun since Changnam died as if he could feel his best friend's pain just as strong in his chest. Jongdae has a kind of bubbly, cheerful personality, very courageous as well and very spontaneous which is also very useful for his job. Jongdae works as a Police Officer for the Seoul Police Department in the department for Capital Crimes which is also how Baekhyun met Minseok, Jongdae's work partner.

Minseok is older than them and his personality is very contrary to the one of Jongdae, calm, reserved, neat, thoughtful, and therefore complementing his partner perfectly. The almost cat-like looking male lives alone with his cat Min and Baekhyun had needed some time until he could warm up towards the other. Despite his indifferent first impression the other is a very caring and thoughtful friend and an extremely good drinker, having a bit of a protector complex, especially over Jongdae since the other became a father, which of course annoyed the other to some extent. Their job of course was sometimes dangerous and both of them knew that beforehand, but that doesn't stop Minseok from trying to keep all of the danger away from his partner, which is impossible with Jongdae's spontaneity but Minseok still tries to this day.

Baekhyun had asked them for help concerning their research strategy because as cops they were of course more proficient in a field like this and the first meeting went, well, let's say, awkward. Minseok and Jongdae stared at Chanyeol for the first ten minutes, not saying a word, Minseok's eyes were falling out of his sockets, while Jongdae blinked so much as if he tried to blink away an invisible fog that was hanging in front of his eyes and it had been so obvious to Baekhyun that it made Chanyeol very uncomfortable. He slapped his friends against the back of their heads after verbal approaches didn't seem to help and he apologized to Chanyeol deeply in their regard. He felt ashamed for their behavior but he could also relate to his friends, also remembering his own, very inappropriate reaction to the other. Chanyeol brushed it off like the kind and polite man he was and they had been quick to move to figure out a strategy to unfold and reveal the mysterious past of Kim Changnam and Chanyeol eventual role in it.

This is why Baekhyun is sitting in his Audi right now with Chanyeol on the passenger seat next to him on their way to the Seoul National University in the Gwanak district, his and Changnam's Alma Mater. Minseok and Jongdae, just like Chanyeol, had been not very amused about the lack of material Baekhyun had, so they recommended him setting up an appointment at the university administration to get the school certificate and hopefully over that get the address of the parents. Because as much as Baekhyun does not want to talk to them, they probably are their best chance to get new information about this whole mess of a situation. Luckily, as his widower, Baekhyun should have access to data about Changnam, which would be otherwise hard to get, so the administration agreed on meeting with them.

Baekhyun nervously checks the clock on the dashboard. Since the traffic had been worse than he hoped they were running a bit later than planned but they were still in time luckily. Baekhyun hates being late, he finds it rude so he tries to avoid it. As he turns in into the parking lot in front of the administration campus he glances over at the man sitting next to him.

Chanyeol hasn't said much since Baekhyun picked him up at the café, looking out of the window most of the time. Even though they weren't on bad terms anymore they were not exactly on good terms either. Baekhyun can somehow understand that they are strangers to each other, Baekhyun even more to Chanyeol than Chanyeol is to him because he at least can understand the facial expressions that the other is throwing at him. The only mutual agreement that is making them hang out with each other is Chanyeol's promise to help him with the past of his husband and his eventual role in it, but other than that they didn't know much about each other.

All that Baekhyun knows about Chanyeol, is that they are the same age, that he owns a café, and that he likes his coffee black. And all that Chanyeol knows about Baekhyun is that he had a husband that was the spitting image of him, that his apartment is pretty empty because he never got used to living alone again and now, to which university he went.

But Baekhyun wants to try to change that. Maybe it is again the wish to be close to Changnam again, even if Chanyeol is not his late husband or it is genuine curiosity, he does not know exactly the reason, it is just what his gut is telling him. Because ever since Chanyeol came into Baekhyun's life it seems as if the world gains a bit of color back every day, turning less grey every second he spends with the taller and Baekhyun also feels like he can breathe lighter with every passing day. Maybe someone like Chanyeol was all he needed to be able to get closure, to be able to say goodbye, before letting his husband finally go and rest in peace. As much as Baekhyun wishes those things never happened, they did. And as far as he knows from the physics colleagues in the building next to his, that he sometimes meets at lunch, time-traveling is impossible. So if he does not want to suffer for his entire life for it, he has to move on and it seems that this is the perfect opportunity to do so.

Coming to a stop in a parking lot, Baekhyun takes off his seat belt and opens the driver's door to get out. The cold autumn air hit his face, standing in big contrast against the warm air inside the car and he shivers, his teeth rattling slightly. Closing the door, he looks over at Chanyeol, who at that moment gets out of the car as well, looking around curiously before looking down to the ground.

"You are a terrible parker." The taller chuckles out softly and Baekhyun feels his cheeks going red in embarrassment.

"Excuse you." He mumbles flustered, a bit outraged. "It is not that bad!"

"It's crooked, so excuse you!" Chanyeol answers with a naughty smirk on his face, his left eyebrow raised in amusement and Baekhyun looks down. As he looks at it himself now has to admit that he did not exactly park straight. He still thinks it is not terrible though!

"Whatever." He grumbles, pouting sulky before he turns to walk towards the cobbled track from which he knows that it leads to the administration building where they have an appointment up. He hears rushed steps behind him, Chanyeol rushing after him to catch up and Baekhyun can suppress a tiny smile. A lot of time had passed since someone ran after him, if he remembers correctly it must have been Changnam when Baekhyun had been angry with him about something stupid and although he knows that it is out for a completely different reason right now he can't help but like it.

"No need to be sulky, Baekhyun." Chanyeol chuckles as he arrives next to Baekhyun a dimply grin spread all over his face and Baekhyun would like to punch him for that if it didn't look so good on him. He missed those dimples a lot. "You know I only said that to tease you, not to insult you, right?"

"Of course I do." Baekhyun mumbles, a tiny smile on his lips as he looks up into those brown eyes that watch him attentively. "As you already know, your facial features work exactly like Changnam's used to, so I know exactly when you are serious and when you are not."

"And as you already know I'm still torn between finding that absolutely fascinating and incredibly creepy," Chanyeol adds, a crooked smile on his plump lips and Baekhyun nods with a smirk. At least one thing between Chanyeol and him changed. The atmosphere is way more chill and relaxing than the first few times they met and it gets better with every day that passes. Baekhyun hopes that he one day can completely see Chanyeol as a different person from Changnam, not getting reminded of his husband every time he looks at him so that they hopefully can become friends. Baekhyun likes the positive and cheerful energy that he brings into his life.

"Is this your first time on a campus?" Baekhyun asks Chanyeol eventually, seeing how the other lets his eyes wander over his surroundings, not wanting to continue walking in silence next to the other and also curious to find out more about the other. Chanyeol shakes his head before he averts his eyes back on Baekhyun. "No, just not here. My alma mater was a different one, the Korea National University of Arts. I studied music there."

"Oh." Baekhyun answers, being surprised about the other's answer. He hasn't thought of Chanyeol as a musician so far, maybe because he is so used through Changnam to think of him as a rational, logical banker that he didn't even consider it. But now that he thinks about Chanyeol's character and his quirky, chaotic nature he can envision him as someone who likes to scribble notes down on a stash of paper while trying accords on his guitar. Or the piano. Or whatever instrument the other plays. "Did you enjoy it?"

"It was hard, to be honest," Chanyeol mumbles, eyes drifting off to the floor in front of him as it was the most interesting thing in the world. "My parents couldn't see me through university, so I had to get creative to get some money."

Baekhyun is taken aback by that, a thousand possibilities of what that could mean running through his head, most of them not so innocent ones and it seems to be visible on his face because as Chanyeol glances over at him, probably wondering why Baekhyun didn't react in any way, he punches him against the arm.

"Not what you are thinking, you pervert!" He babbles out flustered, voice a bit higher than the normal deep rumble, and ear tips turning slightly red. Baekhyun knows what that means. The giant is embarrassed and he can't help but chuckle.

"Sorry." He mumbles, shaking his head in amusement. "But you have to admit that the way you said it was a bit misleading."

Chanyeol just grumbled something in response to his nonexisting beard, pouting cutely, and Baekhyun could not understand it but he was not mad about it, the sight of the taller being so taken aback being a delight to him anyways.

"What did you do then?" He asks, being even more curious about it now and wanting to help the other escape from this awkward situation, which Chanyeol takes with gratefulness.

"I worked on the side of course as a waiter, that's also how I discovered my passion for the gastronomy business, also I donated a lot of stuff. Like blood, DNA, plasma, participated in scientific studies, stuff like that." Chanyeol explains, choosing his words quite carefully. "Sometimes I walked dogs or delivered newspapers, you know, just basically everything I could do I did."

"I understand," Baekhyun says, having found another point about Chanyeol to admire. It seems that the other really is dedicated to the stuff he does and he also seems to follow his dreams, independent of how much they might cost. "Why didn't you pursue a career in music though? It seems that you worked hard to be able to study it so why didn't you choose a career in that field?"

"Because it is hard to earn money with it. Also, at some point, I grew more and more fond of the idea of opening a café on my own and I hope I can host a small concert in it once I have more money to expand my business. Can you imagine, Sunday brunch with live music?! How cool would that be?" At this point Chanyeol is nearly skipping in excitement, basically blooming with pride and happiness as he talks about his plans for his café and it makes Baekhyun smile to see the other so excited and bubbling with ideas and envisions. He looks like a giant puppy like this, fluffy, innocent, so full of hope and warmth, something he never saw in Changnam and it is the first time that Baekhyun clearly can differentiate the two from each other or more for the first time he sees something that he never encountered with Changnam. Something that is uniquely Chanyeol.

"That sounds amazing, I'm sure you will do great. I can't wait to see it." He says softly and it earns him a dazzling and wide smile from the taller, whose eyes are glittering like the entire night sky.

"Thank you."

With that, the two of them reach their destination, the main administration building of the university, which is managing the data of students, graduates, and academic and other staff. It is huge, the warm noon sun lightening up the white walls to make it shine softly in the cold autumn air.

"Ready?" Chanyeol asks and Baekhyun can see out of the corner of his eyes that the other is looking at him.

"No, but I don't think that will ever change, to be honest." The smaller mutters, a half-hearted smile on his lip, before dragging the lower one through his teeth. He then takes in a deep breath before taking the handle into his hand and pulling the door towards him. Warm air from inside hits them against their faces smelling a bit stale and musty and Baekhyun goes in first, the taller trailing directly behind him.

"All universities are the same I guess?" Chanyeol giggles as they walk through the hallway towards the secretary where they have their appointment and Baekhyun smiles softly. He kind of feels like coming home, he spent so much time on the campus and the university, and walking through it years after he graduated makes him feel a bit nostalgic, a soft stabbing to his heart as he remembers all the wonderful moments he had shared into these glorious and giant halls.

"Probably. I mean they are all places of wisdom and knowledge, so I guess they all have the same energy running in them." Baekhyun answers as they turn around a corner and they are coming towards the room of their destination. Stopping before it, Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol.

"Would you mind waiting outside? I'm not sure if they are allowed to give me the information if you are with me." He asks the taller, an apologetic expression on his face but Chanyeol just chuckles, dimples showing as he leans against the wall with crossed arms.

"I planned to do that anyway, so stop looking as if you are letting me stand in the rain." The giant replies, one eyebrow raised in amusement, and Baekhyun does not miss the teasing tone in the other's deep dark voice.

Wow, a minute ago he was like a puppy and now he is the spitting image of Changnam again, I swear to god, Chanyeol will the death to me one day.

"Good." Baekhyun just answers, not in the mood for the other's shenanigans as he knocks against the door and a muffled female voice is telling him to enter. Without granting the taller one another look, Baekhyun gets into the room, closing the door behind him.

The room is very narrow, shelves left and right covering the walls, filled with folders, all numbered with years, letters, and whatever other sorting systems you can imagine. At the end of the room, behind a desk in front of a monitor, is sitting a kind looking older lady, her hair having some grey strands here and there, the blouse she is wearing neatly ironed and the thick-framed glasses, through which she is eyeing him attentively, on the tip of her nose.

"Mr. Byun, I assume?" She asks and her voice is sweet, melodic, and soft and her friendly aura is instantly calming Baekhyun's nerves, making him breathe with more ease.

"Yes. We talked to each other on the phone I think." He answers truthfully, hoping that his voice does not give away his nervousness.

"Yeah, correct. Please take a seat, Mr. Byun." She says and points at a chair that is standing in front of the table. Baekhyun moves towards it with a swift motion, taking a seat on the assigned chair, his heart hammering in his chest.

"So how can I help you, Mr. Byun. I checked your course of studies and was confused to see that you are a graduate of the biology department, a very good one if I am allowed to say so. So why do you want to talk to me, the administrator for students of the economical department?" The woman starts, resting her brown eyes on Baekhyun with a calm expression, curiosity twinkling in her eyes.

"I didn't come to collect data for or about myself, Ma'am." Baekhyun starts to explain, hands folded tightly on his lap because they would probably shake in nervousness otherwise. Now comes the difficult part, he just hopes that the woman in front of him is not homophobic. "I came to collect something about my husband."

The woman frowns and Baekhyun already feels his heart drop into his pants when she starts to speak again and to his relief she is not kicking him out. "I would need a copy of the marriage certificate then."

Baekhyun puts his hand in his pocket eagerly, taking out the document which he stored in there and gives it to the woman in front of him. She eyes the document attentively and then moves to type something on the computer. "Which information do you need?" She says, directing her eyes back at him and to his delight, Baekhyun sees no disgust in them.

"I need a copy of his school certificate, which he used for entering." He answers and she turns to look at him confused.

"Why don't you ask himself for that?" She asks confused and Baekhyun had already feared that this question would pop up. Sighing, a wave of sadness running through his body as always when he is forced to talk about Changnam's death, he looks down on his entwined fingers, who have turned white from the pressure.

"I would, but unfortunately he died two years ago so I can't do that." He replies softly through gritted teeth, trying his best to keep the grief that is daring to overtake him down.

"Oh." The woman answers, obviously having not expected that. "I didn't....I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be-"

"It's ok. Could we please, eh, continue?" He interrupts, looking up at her while letting out a deep breath and the woman nods eagerly, probably also happy to not have to stay in this uncomfortable situation but she still gives him a compassionate look, which all of them wear once they hear he is a widower. And honestly, Baekhyun hates it. He hates it with all his might because it makes him feel like it is the only important thing about him. Byun Baekhyun, the man who's husband died. Byun Baekhyun, not the brilliant scientist, not the quirky jokester, no, Byun Baekhyun, the widower. He knows that it is partly his fault, but still.

It only makes all the attempts of him trying to move on even harder, because everybody Baekhyun encounters reminds him unconsciously that Changnam died, through the look in their eyes, through the compassionate pads on his shoulder, or their actions, treating him like he is glass and could break any minute. Baekhyun feels guilty every time he tries to get on with his life because everyone around him is constantly reminding him of what he is doing as if Changnam could pop up every minute and call him a cheater for trying to forget him.

As if Baekhyun could ever forget Changnam. Alone the thought is ridiculous.

Maybe this is why he enjoys Chanyeol's company so much because besides his friends, the taller is the only one that is not pitying him, the opposite actually, Chanyeol is treating him like everything else about him is more interesting than his dead husband and that, honestly, makes Baekhyun breath, lets him see a light at the end of that deep dark tunnel that he has been stuck in for the last two years.

"Here you go." The woman says, ripping him out of his thoughts about Chanyeol, Changnam, and people that won't let him live in peace, handing him a piece of paper. "And again, I'm sorry."

"Don't mention it," Baekhyun says tiredly, grabbing the piece of paper and the copy of the marriage certificate and greeting the woman with a tired smile while standing up from the chair. "Thank you so much for your time."

"No problem." The woman smiles back warmly and with that Baekhyun turns around and leaves the room.

"How did it go?" Chanyeol asks the second Baekhyun steps out of the room, still leaning against the wall next to the door, welcoming Baekhyun with a warm smile, that spreads through his body beautifully, making him feel lighter.

"It was okay, I got what we needed, so that's all that matters." He sighs out giving the taller the piece of paper he got from the woman, who takes it with a nod.

"Well, let's look at where that mysterious husband of yours went to school." Chanyeol starts, unfolding the piece of paper as if he is unwrapping a Christmas present and it makes Baekhyun nearly laughs out in amusement. There is just nothing that Chanyeol can not get excited about if he wants to and it is honestly warming Baekhyun's aching heart. "We have a winner. Seems that your hubby went to a school in Busan."

Startled, Baekhyun rips the piece of paper out of Chanyeol's hand, looking at it in wonder. He expected the other to come from somewhere in Seoul or maybe Incheon but not from Busan. Why did Changnam never care to tell him that?

"That's pretty far away, actually."

Chanyeol hums in agreement. "So what are we going to do now?"

Baekhyun looks up at the other. "I would suggest, we call the school, ask for the address of the parents and then we gonna visit Mr. and Mrs. Kim."

Chanyeol frowns. "Busan is a bit far for an easy trip, it takes multiple hours to get there one way not to speak about driving the distance twice in a day."

"Sounds like a weekend trip to me then, I pay for everything, food, accommodation, fuel. You would just need someone to replace you for your shift. Would that be ok for you?" Baekhyun suggests, folding the paper he is still holding in his hands again, feeling nervousness about his idea bubble up in him. He does not want to this alone.

"Free vacation? Whoever said no to something like this?" Chanyeol chuckles in response, blowing all of Baekhyun's sorrows away with that and the dazzling smile that follows afterward, Baekhyun's heart sings in happiness, making him smile brightly and honestly as well.
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Author's note 📝

🤍✨~

Hello guys,

It's me, Nyxessa with her Baekhyun right at your face :D.

This is getting interesting don't you think? I really enjoy the dynamic that is slowly building between our two crackheads.

Anyways, please anticipate what my dear co-author blue_eyed_diamond has in store for you guys, let's just say some things are going to be unfolded.

If you are dying to read something you can check out Let's Play Hide & Seek which I just finished last week after 5 months of writing or you can check out my co-author's books.

Hope to see you another time. Tell me if you liked what I wrote and what you think about it. :)

Greetings,
Author-nim Nyxessa
~✨🤍