Here we go, a real ship (/j)

Well, this is going to be a suggestive fic... And inaccurate. I don't even think they met up- but hey- plot is plot.

C/W:
Well, uh, rough-sex,  finger sucking, mentions of historical figures doing no-nos. 
Sub: Jefferson

Top: Napoleon 

~Story Start~

Jefferson's P.O.V

I sat at my desk, pondering. If I was going to purchase Louisiana at the lowest price possible, I would have to find some way to convince Napoleon to drop the prices. Considering that Napoleon was fairly... attractive... I'd willingly get on my knees if I had to. Well, I just might do that. 

Act all pretty and suck his fingers.

And uh...

I need to stop with those thoughts before I rile myself up too much. 

As I had exited my office, I adjusted my suit, humming. I ran my fingers through my red hair, puffing my cheeks. I had to consider the guest and his likings... Something that Napoleon might like?

Macaroni and Cheese? 

Well, probably not. No one seems to enjoy it as much as I do. I don't understand why, however.

It's whatever. 

As I walked by a table, I grabbed a quill and some paper from it. I smirked slightly, beginning to write a letter. 

"President Jefferson." A voice called. 

I turned, looking towards my vice. 

"Burr, what do you need?" I questioned, looking back down at my paper. 

"Napoleon is here..." He spoke softly. I shot him a sudden glance, standing up straight. 

"Napoleon is here? Now!?" I shouted in panic, hurrying to my room. I quickly changed into the nicest suit I had. A lovely pink one that I wore to all the important events I attend. Like, Cabinet Meetings. 

I made sure my hair looked nice before making my way back towards the meeting room. "Burr, bring in Napoleon," I ordered. Burr nodded, walking away. I walked into the room, taking a seat at the end of the table. I watched as two figures stepped back into the room. 

"Here he is, Mr. President," Burr spoke. 

"Thank you, Burr. Please step out. Napoleon, please lock the door before you take a seat." I spoke, organizing a few papers. As soon as the door had been closed and locked, I glanced up at Napoleon. 

"I assume you know why I'm willing to sell Louisiana, yes?" 

"Great French War," I answered simply, dipping a quill in some ink, beginning to write. Napoleon hummed, clearing his throat. 

"How much are you willing to pay it for...?" He asked.

 "As low as I can get you to sell it to me," I answered. He inhaled sharply, and I noticed a smirk on his lips. "15,000,000... That low in only one condition. That or I'm doubling the prices." 

I rose a brow. "And what would that be...?" 

"President Jefferson, you're attractive, I'll admit that. And recently, I've been thinking about you in... Somewhat sinful ways..." He trailed off, tapping his fingers against the table. 

I smirked slightly, standing up. "Proceed."

"Well... The deal I was considering is... You let me do whatever I please with you... For at least a couple of hours... plus the money... And the entirety of the Lousiana Territory is yours..." 

"You, Napoleon... Have a deal..." I smirked slightly, walking over. I pulled the black bow from my hair, letting it flow over my shoulders. Napoleon smirked slightly as I sat on the table in front of him. 

"Lovely..." He whispered, pulling me closer by the waist. I chuckled softly, staring down at the man. He pulled me down into his lap and pushed the seat out a bit. "Now, do me a favor... Get on your knees." 

I nodded obediently, and I slid down to the floor. He placed two fingers to my lips, and I tensed a little bit. I looked up at him innocently, but I knew what he wanted. Slowly, I took the two fingers into my mouth, swirling my tongue around them. Napoleon smirked slightly, and I grazed my teeth over some of the rough skin on his fingers. He chuckled lowly, and I rose a brow. 

"You're a tease, aren't you?" Napoleon questioned, pulling his fingers away. He tilted my chin up, and I smirked, shrugging. 

"You could say that. Poor Alexander hates that, however. He can't take a joke." 

"Alexander?" Napoleon rose a brow. 

"Mmhm... Hamilton, the first Treasurer," I explained. He nodded slightly, and I rolled my eyes. He yanked my chin up, growling slightly. 

"If I see you rolling your eyes again, it better be because I am making you. Those pretty little eyes of yours being rolled back sounds amazing to me~..." Napoleon purred. My face heated up, and I looked to the side. 

"You flatter me." 

"I'll do more than that, Jefferson. I'll make you a whining little whore~..." 

My eyes widened a bit. The Frenchman knows dirty talk. I began to jumble up all my thoughts slightly in gay panic. 

"Jefferson." Napoleon addressed. I glanced up at him, and he leaned down, stealing a kiss. I froze for a second, melting a bit in his touch. "So needy already~..." 

"I-... Uh... Well..." I stuttered out. 3rd President of the United States and I'm afraid to speak to someone I need to make a deal with. 

"Mon amour, use your words, please."

"I guess I am... Needy~..." 

"There it is~..." Napoleon chuckled. 

The blush on my face only deepened at his words. I moved my way back onto his lap, connecting our lips again. Napoleon chuckled softly, pulling me in closer. As he got to a... certain spot... and I could feel his hard-on through his breeches. 

"Aw~... Have I made you needy~?" I questioned. Napoleon rose a brow, smirking. 

"Oh, the thought of you does~..." 

I smirked, thrusting my hips forward a bit. I smirked once I heard Napoleon whine. 

(RANDOM SWITCH IN P.O.V)

3rd person P.O.V

Thomas chuckled softly, continuing to grind against Napoleon. The Frenchman stared up at the Virginian, enjoying the sight. With a soft chuckle, Napoleon finally lifted Thomas onto the table, pinning the 6'4 man. Napoleon was no taller than 5'6, but he is quite a bit more dominant than Jefferson. 

Jefferson smirked slightly as Napoleon crawled on top of him. And once he was on top, the Frenchman trailed kisses down the Virginian's neck. Thomas tilted his head back, allowing Napoleon to have more room, and Napoleon began to bite harshly against the male's skin. 

"Mm~... Napoleon~..." Thomas groaned. 

"Yes?"

"You're biting a bit too hard~..." 

"Am I?" 

"Mm-hm~..."

"Want me to stop then, Mr. Jefferson~?" 

"N-No! Please don't~..." 

Napoleon laughed softly. He began to unbutton the male's clothing, tracing his hands down the male's torso and abdomen. "You're so pretty, Thomas~..." He purred. He kissed down the male's chest, leaving a couple of marks here and there.  Once he leaned back, he stared down at his work, proud. Jefferson, however, was now more than desperate. 

"Napoleon, please~..." 

"Please what, doll? Use your words~..." 

"Fuck me- do something~..." 

With those words, Napoleon moved off the table. "Strip, then." He ordered. Jefferson rose, slowly sliding to the edge of the table. He finished removing his suit, and then he stood up, removing his breeches and undergarments. Napoleon smirked at the site, and he pushed the redhead back against the table. 

Jefferson yelped slightly, whimpering. Napoleon only chuckled, placing two fingers back at Jefferson's mouth. "Suck." 

Without second thoughts, Jefferson did as told. (Imagining this is actually really fucking funny. If he was as hot as Daveed Diggs, then maybe this wouldn't be weird, but goddamn, I really enjoy writing this sort of shit.)

Napoleon was pleased by the man's actions and once he felt it was ready, he removed his fingers from the male's mouth. He slipped his hand down the male's chest, lifting his legs over his shoulders. He traced his fingers over the male's asshole and smirked, slipping one inside. 

Jefferson bit his lip, leaning his head back. Napoleon laughed softly, beginning to thrust the finger in and out of the male's ass. And once Thomas was ready, he added a second finger. He thrusted each inside, scissoring. Jefferson began to whine, back arching slightly. 

Napoleon laughed quietly before pulling his fingers out. He then pulled his own breeches and undergarments off, smirking slightly. He aligned himself, sliding in. He didn't even think about using any sort of lubricant, he didn't care enough to do so. 

Jefferson whined, panting slightly. "W-Wait... It hurts~..." He whispered. 

"I know, I know... Tell me when you're ready~..." 

Jefferson waited a moment before nodding. "You can move~..." 

Napoleon smirked, beginning to move at a slow and gentle pace. Soon enough, he began to pick up speed, enjoying how whiny and noisy Jefferson was. Jefferson began to dig his nails into Napoleon's still clothed back. 

"A-ah~! Napoleon~!!" 

"That's a good boy~..." Napoleon purred. He began to slam at a rough pace, chuckling. "Mm~... Such a good boy~..." He praised. 

Thomas whimpered, looking up at Napoleon, his eyes rolling back slightly. "A-hah~!!" He screamed in pleasure, feeling his prostate getting hit. "Right there~!!" 

Napoleon groaned, smirking down at the male, biting into his shoulders. Thomas only groaned louder, back arching off the table. 

"Goddamn, you're doing so good~..." Napoleon praised, yanking Thomas's red hair. 

Thomas whimpered, a knot forming in his stomach. "Please~... I'm so close~..." He panted. Napoleon nodded, fucking into Thomas harder. 

"Cum for me~..." 

Thomas whimpered, throwing his head back. He released all over himself and Napoleon, and Napoleon released deep inside him. 

---

Long story short, Aaron Burr was scarred for the rest of his life after hearing the commotion, and he went on and killed Alexander Hamilton to get rid of that trauma. Thomas Jefferson got Louisiana for the low price of $15,000,000. And Napoleon went on to fight The Great French War. 

And that's how the Louisiana Purchase was made. Your History books are too afraid to tell the real story. 

That's all for now, folks. 

A/N 

(This is an edit. I just realized that this was literally a joke-... I was making Jefferson look dumb. To people who read this chapter- don't think of it as a serious one.)

Okay, that was fun. It's weird, but I really enjoy writing these sorta things. I hope you enjoyed this... fanfic? Story? Chapter. Anyway, catch you all next time. Byeeeeee!!

Word Count: 1738